This story is passed after Simon's death - I really haven't watched that episode, because I'm still on the middle of season 3 (but I have watched the second half of season 7 and some other episodes without any order) – and he centred in CJ, Danny and Toby.

English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any mistake.

I wanna dedicate this story to one of my closest friends, Tânia, that will be 16 this Friday, to my uncle, João, that celebrated is birthday yesterday and to my aunt, Paula Cristina, that celebrates hers this Saturday.

Disclaim: I don't own any character from the West Wing.

I hope you enjoy this story.

Simon died

And I'm alone again. He was something new, something I was hoping for. He was gonna bring happiness to me.

They had caught the stalker; we were going for drinks in one minute and in the next he was laying dead in a convenience store.

But I'm crying not only because of him but for everyone that I ever let go, I'm thinking about them that in some point meant something more. And everyday I have a memory from them – a fish and every speech I listen.

Him, I knew him since I was a kid, I think I met him during a school trip, here where we work today, we became friends because - now I remember - we said both at the same time "I'm gonna work here when I grew up.", everyone laugh at us and our teachers said that we shouldn't get our hopes up. But him came to me in the end of the trip and said "We are gonna get here. And I'm going to promise you if I ever get a job here, I'll bring you with me.", and I just said okay and gave him my phone number. Since then every time it was possible for us to meet, we would. We became best friends even with the age difference, and until today we still are.

And I still love him, I'm sure of that but like a brother, a best friend but there was a time, in the past, where I was falling in love with him. It was before everything, he still had a head full of hair and his lips still shown a smile, and I had just started college in Berkeley, and he would come to LA just to visit me, and I started seeing him in a different way.

But then, they met, my two closest friends and I became a third wheel. And sometimes I ask myself if when she asked me if I liked him and if I wanted for her to back of, I had said yes, what would happen? Would we be married? Or would it also end in divorce? Ad this is the question I will never know the answer because I never had the gut to take the risk.

After replaying this in my mind, I open my eyes and see the thing that reminds me of another lost love. It reminds me every time, most of the times it makes me smile, but tonight it makes me cry even more, it makes me remember his scruffy looking face with his redhead beard and redhead hair. It makes me think that he's the only guy that offers a girl a fish just to make her happy. He's the only guy that kissed me with so much passion, desire and love.

I met him during the campaign and first he was just one more reporter but soon he started pushing my buttons and not in an annoying way but in a sweet, funny way. He made me love him without even trying, and it saddens me that I could never tell him that, because a reporter and a press secretary would never work; even if he loves me too. So he finally left because it was too hard to see me everyday, but he left me a fish as a reminder (not that I need one).

With this thought I let myself fall asleep for the night, not a good sleep but a reckless one. It's 8:40 p.m. when Carol enters my office and wakes me up, she tells me that the briefing would start in 20 minutes and left a note saying that… Toby passed by and that Danny Concannon called. And with that I have to control my eyes because I'm a strong woman that can't be seen crying just because two man have broke my heart without even trying and knowing.

I hope you enjoyed this.

And if you understand portuguese I would advise you to read my other fic,the link is on profile page.

And please leave your review.