Title – The Scientist
By – Serendipity
Type – Song Fic
Song – The Scientist by Coldplay
A/N: This is after the funeral, instead of Irina turning herself into the CIA, she follows Sydney to one of her spots to think.
***
Sydney arrived in the Library's basement; her hideaway when this had become to stressful or need of solitude. This is where she took away to, to the books of her same thoughts, to the books that wouldn't ask questions or talk about her shamelessly. She quickly began to browse but never reading the covers. Just letting her hands pass over the arches of the books quickly, as she just walked down the aisles lifelessly.
Vaughn had been saved, thanks to her and the mission from SD-6. She could thank them mentally, she probably would just because Vaughn was saved, but then she would be thank the person who saved her life and destroyed it. Just because Vaughn was saved she didn't have to look herself in the mirror and think murder, to think selfish bitch. Just for her own agenda she let Vaughn get hurt, she couldn't live with herself if anything did happen.
Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
She loved him, yes, will it work, no.
Emily funeral…she didn't want to think about that.
But the issue that was wracking her brain was her mother, all the things that made her…her. As much as she wanted to abandon the woman, to send her off in a bottle though the ocean, she couldn't. She can't.
As she was turning to walk down the aisle, there she stopped frozen as the enigma stopped frozen too. Sydney didn't know if she would run away to hide from her abuse, to fight and breaking her neck easily, or stand there and let her take the abuse since it was the only love she had from that woman.
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
She stood there frozen in headlights across from her daughter, she was smart, and she was going to notice someone was watching her though the books on the shelf. She wasn't maternal before, she didn't dress reminiscent of it today. A skirt older than her hair color was worn, and a very tailored blouse was worn, her hair down and cascading down her shoulders. But she ignored her own style and took notice of her daughter's. Her long black cocktail dress, tissues in her hand, earrings dangling from her ears.
"Don't you have someone to kill?" Sydney spat out; her mother looked away at her for a second and returned her gaze when she spoke up again. "Or you finally decided to get rid of me?" It came out more of a statement than a question.
"Sydney…I,"
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
"No, I talk you listen you bitch. You hurt me the worst way possible and I'm not talking about my shoulder. I had this image of you now it been tarnished the worst way possible, by you. You deceived me, you betrayed dad, almost had my friend kill, almost killed me, and now you're here expecting to talk. My territory, my rules!" She hissed out from clenching her jaw, before she knew it Sydney was pouncing on her taking her back with a right hook. Books began to fall on them as they began to fight. But soon Sydney realized she was the one who was fighting, not her mother. She got up from her mother, her hand on her mouth as she looked at her mother face. Her lip was bleeding, so was her forehead and her left cheek has been bruised. Still on top of her she saw nothing but sadness in her eyes.
"You're right Sydney, hit me, hit me!" Her mother yelled, she began to cry too letting the tears run down her cheeks. "I deserve it, Sydney. I deserve it."
Sydney dragged herself off her mother and sat breathing heavily across from her.
"You don't deserve it," Sydney paused sighing in frustration. "Not by me."
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
"You out of all people should have that power over me. I hurt you so bad," She sat up beginning, her throat loosing control of her sobs. "You were my daughter and I hurt you so bad." Her hand raised to her mouth to cover her cries as she looked intensely at her daughter, out of breath and surprised at her own actions.
"If you do want that, want remorse, I can't give that to you. I can't allow giving that to you. Your time is wasted here." Sydney said.
"My time was never wasted, my time was wasted away from you."
"You made that choice, Irina, you choused."
"Don't call me that!" She yelled at her.
"What, Irina? It's your name." Sydney hissed.
Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Ooh and I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
"I was never Irina with you, I was your mother, I was…someone else than Irina." She said. She moved herself next to Sydney, only inches away and tried to hold her numb broken hand. Sydney tried to take her hand away but Irina held on to it tightly. "My superiors thought you a liability then, and even now they knew if I saw you again I would turn on them. And I would Sydney; I would turn on them for you. I always did, mentally. If I did though, I would be dead, and I had to stay alive, you had to stay alive. So the only thing I thought was to shoot you, giving you time to escape, without both of us getting killed."
"Don't-" Sydney pleaded, she didn't want to hear it if it was lies, she didn't want to here it if it was the truth.
"Listen to me, yes I have lied, yes I have killed. I hurt you, I hurt you and I'm so sorry. Everything in Taipei wasn't real, that wasn't me. This," She raised Sydney's hand up to her heart, and she felt her heartbeat, warm and fast. "This is me, and this," She raised her hands up to her cheek, cupping her left side of her face letting the tears cascade to her palm. "That real too. See Sydney, I'm real, I'm not lying to you."
"Why are you here…why are you doing this to me?" Sydney said, looking away at her mother.
"I need you Sydney to believe me, to believe that I love you. And I wouldn't ever leave if I did have a choice, they were planning to kill you and your father. I…I couldn't let them do that." Sydney stirred to her mother's crying figure, she raised her hand up around her neck, tilting her head on her shoulder. Her mother held her head if she was cradling her from the back. The two remained there for long period of time as if they were catching up on the twenty years missed.
"What happens next?" Sydney breathed in her neck.
"I don't know baby, I don't know." She kissed her forehead and kept her close as possible.
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start