Pretending. It's the worst feeling in the world. Having to wake up every single day and act like you're fine when on the inside you're slowly withering away; and nobody knows, they don't have clue. They watch you laugh and smile, they hear about your day and your perfect life...they look up to you because you're just so happy and you have to fulfill that...live up to those standards. You can't break down because if you do you're letting them down as well.
You paint a fake smile onto your lips and beam away like there isn't a care in the world; but there is. A hundred of them, varying in size, varying in importance...like monsters, dirty little parasites gnawing away at your insides; you've now become your own worst enemy. Glancing into the mirror and crying, letting sad, and upsetting thoughts control your life. There is no way out.
Because instead of having a crew of people to lure you back to your original condition, you continue to fall further and further into a deep, never ending pit of darkness; no one is there to lend a hand and pull you up. So you find yourself hurtling faster and faster, deeper and deeper, until you smack your head on the cold hard ground. You try to sit up, but you're paralyzed.
You're at rock bottom and you're so far down that no one can see you anymore; even if they did, it's too late now. The old you is gone, a thing of the past and after all of this is gone, it's left such a big scar on your life, that still it'll always be with you, no matter what.