Author's Beginning Note: First of all, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. It's past midnight and I need to laugh. So here it is...Twila da Girl who was in Love with a Vamyr by Rxe Rex and Curtis Jackson (Not Rx...) Rxe's comments will be in bold and Curt's comments will be in this kind of bold. Actually, Rxe will put an R and Curt will put a C in front of their comments. THANK YOU!

CHAPTER 1

Hi my name is Twila(R: I think she's deriving it from Twilight) Beatiful (C: She mispelled 'beautiful..)Psyco(C: She mispelled phsyco) Topaz (R: My birthstone is a topaz)

(not cullen yet, bcuz i ddnt meet edward yet)(C: Great...)(R: I'm laughing my freakin ass off. We all know Twila is now a Mary- Sue. This is worse than 'My Immortal')

n i live in was chington(C: I've never heard of Chington, is it some 'goff' store I've never been to?) (Chington is a new character, her name's actually Rosalie) wif(C: WIF?)(R: What is fuck) my sister Midnite(C: She misspelled 'Midnight'. The last time I mispelled that was in firts grade. What can I say? I got skillz bitch). we liv in a dark house that iz far away from every1 els n we r vampires.(R: Isn't it hilarious that they live like theCullens) (C: I thought they were going to tell me they llived in my basement, my room mate Thomas lives there)

we feest(C: 'feast') on blood n no1(R: I thought spelling in chatspeak was banned from fanfiction) else noes dat we are vampirs.(C: Big suprise there)(R: Wow... I'm so fucking scared)

not evn are mom(R: You have a mom? That's a huge surprise!)(C: Is she talking about her real mother of her sire. The sire would obviously know she's a vampire. Because she's the sire) wich is y we moved away to b by ourselves.(C: Oh... my gosh...she lives by herself. I hope she doesn't say her interests include horror movies and playing the guitar)

yes we r LONERS.(R: So if you live with a room mate, your a loner? I live with my room mate, Nettie N., and we are not loners)(C: I have 2 room mates, one is short and chubby, the other is tall and thin. Therefore, I am not a loner)

i go 2 a hi school(R: Me too!)(C: I'm starting senior year this year!) n every1 finks dat im really hott(R: She's just a stand in for Bella)(C: I don't find her attractive.),

i hav strait blak hair nd topez eyes(R: I hate this story already) (C: I have blue eyes and messy black hair!)

n mi sister midnte is da same accept she has magenta eyez(R: Well, no duh. You're sisters)(C: My uncle looks like my dad, only he's balding!). i wear lots of blak makup on mi eyes even tho i hav dark ciircles under my eyes(R: I have dark circles under my eyes... and yes, I do the racoon eyes makeup sometimes), (a/n ok if u think thats lame then FUK U,(C: Fuck you too, Twila)

edword(C: Ed to the word) has dem too and steraphie myers sed hes realli hot ok(R: He kind of looks like a sparkly pixie to me) (C: Is it true that Edward's 6'3, because if he is, I feel terrible).) i dnt lyk any1 at mi school, i am a missenthrop(R: I think she means 'misfit')(C: Is missenthrop a word. And no Twila, I will not look it up. I looked up my name on Urban Dictionary. It said I was a sexy beast. I certainly don't feel like one reading this story) (a/n loook it up)

that menz i hate other ppl accept midnite(R: I used to be a loner in sixth grade. I didn't hate everyone. Just Stacy, that whore)(C: Big surprise there!).

one day i met a realli sexi vampore named EDWARd CULLENS(R: Really? I couldn't even fathom that idea until I read this!)(C: This is soo stupid. Holy Lala, what have I gotten myself into) he haz realli white skin lyk me. he is satan's gift to dis planet(C: Don't you mean God's gift?)(R: Why? Why does everyone want to be a Satanist?)

(a/n I DONT BELEVE IN GOD I AM N ATHEIST(C: But she just said that 'Edward was satan's gift to this planet'.)(R: She's an this following par). i thnk saten created dis universe(C:I am usually very accepting of other people believing how the world was creating, but this idea is the stupidest piece of shit I have ever read.) (R:I have many athiest friends, and they don't believe satan created the universe) god bles u satan(C: You have just disgraced so many things. I would seriously beat you up)(R: WTF?)

u r alwayz in mi heart.)(C: Please matame) so anywey i met him i nda skewl n he was wif some fukking ugli ass bytch named bella swann. she waz soo stupid n she kept fallin out of her seat.(C: Unless the seat is broken, you're too short for the seat, or too tall for it, you can't keep falling down)(R: I'm laughing my ass off)

edwward lookd at me lyk wtf is dis gurl doing(R: Edward is right, WFT is Twila doing?)(C: She's falling out a chair, as if it isn't obvious enough). i smiled at him sexi and aventerous n he new rite away that i wuz a vampir(C: According to the shitty ass movies, he can read everyone's mind... hey Edward, what am I thinking?),

i culd tell from his eyes wich were da same collor as mine.(R: So you could tell from the color of his voice?)

"Heyy" he sed walkn away from bella. dere were some gay ass ghetto ppl(C: I hold much resentment to gangster people... I got jumped, but seriously, to call them 'ghetto' people) in his way doin da SOLDA BOY CRANK DANce. (R: I don't know about the dance, but I totally love the Soldia Boy Crank Dat song)(C: As much as 'A Corpse in my Bed'?)(R: Er... no)

n he jus lookd at dem with his dethly eyes n they iran away(C: I've tried doing the death stare. I look much better when doing my cute smile)(R: *Death stares at Curt* Nah, he's still laughing... he's getting his coffee, I need water). i realy hat cliks(C: But clicking stuff is fun!) n gheto ppl fink they r kewl(C: Seriously, I'll give it to Twyla, gangsters ARE idiots... but not as much as Twyla), i giv dem the middle finger in the halwayz n itz l;ke YEA HUS TUFF NOW LOL rite(R: She's speaking in ghetto now)(C: Transalation: I like to suck so much... I'll stop)

neway edward n i sat 2getha at da lunch tabel n bella stard at us wif dat poser jakob(R: She spelled Jacob wrong.)(C: My cousin's name is Jakob!). ed ddnt pay ne atencion to her at all. he told me al abot how he iz a vampir n his dad carlose(R: So now Edward's dad is Mexican. No offense, I'm part Hispanic myself)(C: His name was Carlose, not Carslisle)

wnated 2 meet me. n his sisters alice, rosmarie(R: My middle name's 'Marie)(C: Rosemary's Baby was a sick movie), jasper n emet all luved me rite away(C: What a fucking prep) n his mom esmi(R: Esme Genevieve Gigi Squalor) wnted 2 meet me 2.(C: She's speaking in chatform again)

so we kut skewl early n went to his realli big house in da woods n jasper is realli big and muscelar so he jst nocked down all da treez in da way.(R: What the fuck?)(C: I'm laughing my ass off)

when we got there carlose came to da door imedately. he gasped in surpise at my beauty(R: What a Mary Sue) (C: Every good character must have a flaw. Obviously, Twila is a BAD character)

"You Must be twila, my u certenly r attraxive" he teasd me seductevly.(R: If a thirty year old dude told me that, I would kick him in the nuts)(C: What a fucking gentleman)

ed, jasp, emet, alison n rosaline all growld at him angrly, all sensitive becuz they liked me 2(R: At least Alice and Rosalie don't like you)(C: *Facepalm* besidez it wusnt fare cuz he was alreadi married.(R: At least he's not married to Esme)

"Yea thats me lol" i told him and bowed (a/n dats wat they do in japanese becuz its polite)(R: Because there's a Japanese vampire in the Cullen family)

"nice to met you i said.(C: It's a pleasure flaming you, Twyla)

"So i hear ur a vampir, cum in my house n we can talk about it."(R: Yeah, cause I would totally spill my guts to some stranger I just met)

I waz sooo excited n i ran in quikly in every1 followed me, we were alreadi frends.(C: They're friends and they haven't even said one word to each other)

XXXXXXXXXX END OF CHAPTE 1XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX(C: Oh thank God)

PLZ GUYZ TELL ME IF ITS GUD(R: No... it's not)