A/N: first fic posted. Critiques welcome. Unbeta'd, (PM me if you're interested). Written for the prompt :'twisted identity'. Hope you guys enjoy it! :)
Disclaimer: if you recognize it, then it's not mine.
It is widely acknowledged that Troy is not the smartest member of the study group, yet there are still times when he allows himself to feel more than a little smug about his mental capabilities. It's true, he acquiesces, that he doesn't really understand all that much about algebra, or economics. He will never be a scientist of great repute or an internationally recognized scholar. But he is completely certain that in his one area of expertise, he is the most competent human being alive. There really is nobody else that understands Abed in such an all-encompassing and unapologetically intimate manner.
Abed is different. Troy cannot conceive as to any reason why this could be a bad thing. Annie, however, maintains that Abed's tendency to adopt various identities is potentially damaging to those involved. For one of the first times in his life, Troy can tell her with total surety, that he knows what he is doing and that his judgment can be trusted. It's a wonder, Troy thinks, that Abed can instill so much confidence in him, without ever having the need to employ a Winger-esque speech.
It's a matter of perception, Troy realizes in a moment of clarity. Annie views Abed as volatile. He changes from person to person incredibly seamlessly, and often without much warning. It scares her. Troy cannot fathom how she has managed to get it so wrong. Is it not obvious that in the deepest core of Abed's behaviors there resides a resistance to change? Abed is immovable. For Troy, Abed's continual shifts are familiar; a constant in the ever changing world around him.
Annie tries again to convince him otherwise. She nearly cries in frustration, 'He's rarely himself anymore. What will happen when he no longer knows who he really is?'
Troy knows exactly why this concerns Annie to such an extent. In high school Annie had tried desperately to change who she was. Troy had watched her crumble in his peripheral vision. She ruined her own life with a concoction of pills and poisons, so that she might live the life of another; someone smarter and more in control. She did not succeed and it went terribly wrong. But it doesn't always have to. Troy knows this all too well. It was his hatred of what he had become that made him enroll in community college in the first place. It was his desire to change himself that lead him to meet Abed and the others. And so, even if creating multiple identities were Abed's method of coping, he would not begrudge him that.
Yet, he knows that this is not the case at all. Abed is confident in who he is, and moreover, seems to be content with every aspect of himself. Abed is not a man who wants to change, but a man so comfortable with himself that he can transform into anyone else whilst still retaining that ever important sense of true self.
Troy can see that in him. In the way that he imitates his favorite characters and scenes. There is no such thing as a perfect replica, only something that is created in the image of another. Abed's portrayals rely completely on his own interpretation of the character.
Abed watches. Abed internalizes. Abed creates. And his creations are a mirror of his true self.
Troy revels in this private epiphany, for he alone bears witness to what makes Abed so inherently Abed.
True, Abed is complex and uncomfortable, but in Troy's ability to understand him there is tolerance, simplicity and pure unconditional love.