A/N: Hey, so I was just watching That 70's Show and thinking about how alike Massie and Jackie are. Then it hit me—Massie could really use a guy like wisecracker Hyde to make her less shallow, bitchy, and annoying. Harsh, I know. I actually used to be a huge Massington fan, but now I feel like she needs someone new. And Landon doesn't work either; he's too much like her.

So, I experimented with some characterization techniques, blended a few characters together, and created the perfect guy for Massie—who also happens to be the complete opposite of her.

Enjoy!

P.S. In this story, I'm going to pretend they go to a co-ed high school.

BOCD High

September 3rd

9:25 a.m.

"…And that's probably the kinkiest thing I ever did with a guy. Definitely in my top ten," Alicia Rivera smirked devilishly.

Opening her locker, Massie Block sighed and rolled her eyes. Ever since high school started, her best friend Alicia had gotten a bit slutty. And now that they were sophomores (this was their first day), it seemed like she was going for the reputation of full-blown whore. Then again, maybe she had just spent a little too much time with those freaky Spanish cousins of hers over the summer.

Massie bit her lip, trying to think of one of her famous snappy one-liners the spot. Are you obsessed with baked goods? Then why are you acting like a Ho-Ho? No, too obvious. Are you Paris Hilton? Oh no, wait, I got the perfect one! "Alicia, do you live on the Jersey Shore?"

"I'd like to!" she chirped. Massie sucked in her lips, trying not to laugh at the way she said that. She wasn't about to give Alicia the satisfaction. By now, Alicia, Kristen, and Dylan were starting to find ways around her signature comebacks. Claire was the only one who still humored her, and that made her feel like she was losing her alpha-ness. Her jokes were funny, weren't they?

Massie checked her reflection in her compact mirror. Her lips were full and glossy, her makeup was perfect, and her True Religion Julie in Vigilante dark wash skinny jeans and purple halter top had gotten her a 9.7 morning rating. Massie loved feeling like this, confident and super chic.

She slammed her locker shut and started walking with Alicia, zoning out as she chattered on about her latest fling in Spain. It wasn't like she really cared what Alicia did with her time, it just bugged her that she had more experience with guys than her. Besides that, Massie was kinda glad she'd become the slutty one of the group. Now, no matter what Massie did, it wouldn't look that bad in comparison. Plus, Alicia had become a great target for dirty jokes.

"Yeah, I gotta get my class, it's right down this hallway," Massie interrupted. Alicia had somehow managed to go from talking about a boy she'd met in Spain to how good Kemp Hurley's ass looked.

"Oh, okay. See ya!" Alicia slow-walked away, trying to remember where Dylan's new locker was. Massie glanced down at her schedule. Room B21, Sociology, Mr. Raker. As she walked through the door, her eyes caught a flash of dirty blond hair. Derrick Harrington was already up on a chair, shaking his board shorts and boxer-clad butt much to the delight of Kemp Hurley and some other guys. She sighed almost smiled. Some things never changed. Normally, she would've shot them some clever comeback about how they were so excited to see each other's asses, but watching the boys goof off, she felt her stomach knot up, and she knew she couldn't do it.

Massie and Derrick had been going out on and off through middle school and most of freshman year. They had even tried the whole friends-with-benefits thing, and that hadn't worked. After their breakup in May, she felt like they were broken up for good, which was a real shame. Sure, she'd been with other guys during their "off" periods, like Chris Abely and Landon Crane, but Derrick was the only guy she'd ever really loved. Or did she love him? She might have stopped when he started blowing her off for his friends and doing other stupid things. But she'd done some stupid things too. Either way, she was grateful to have had her first love. It was too bad it had to end like this. Now, whenever she saw him, they'd have awkwardly polite and short conversations. Massie supposed it would be easier if they were friends, but she didn't know if she was completely over him yet. She'd heard somewhere that you can never get over a guy you loved unless you found a new guy you love even more. And so far, she hadn't found that guy.

"All right guys, settle down!" A man with thick black rectangular glasses and a blue plaid shirt bustled through the door. "I'm Mr. Raker, and I am your new Sociology teacher. Sorry I was running late," he muttered quickly, running a pale, hairy arm through his spiky dark hair. Judging from his young and frazzled appearance, Massie judged that he wasn't a very experienced teacher. "'Kay, I'm gonna take attendance real quick and give you your assigned seats."

As Mr. Raker called out names and gave seating assignments, Massie looked around at the black rectangular chemistry lab-style tables. They could fit four people, maybe five or six if people sat at the sides. Hopefully she wouldn't be stuck at a table with—"Massie Block, right here," Mr. Raker gestured to a chair. Massie's eyes quickly snapped into focus. Oh, shit. Of course, with her luck, she was stuck at a table with Derrick. At least he was sitting diagonally from her, which meant she wouldn't have to look at him too much. "Hey…Block." He said unsurely, probably trying to decide if he should still call her that. "Hey," Massie said timidly. "How was your summer?" Cue the awkwardly polite post-breakup conversation.

"Olivia Ryan, you're sitting across from Massie, next to Harrington." Oh, perfect. Massie couldn't stand Duh-Livia Ryan any more than she had in middle school. And if she thought Alicia was acting a bit slutty, Olivia was practically Earth Mother Whore. Massie wished she had heat vision or some laser superpower as she stared at Olivia's flimsy low-cut, too-tight, see-through yellow blouse in disgust. At least Alicia was smart (kind of) and fun to be around. Olivia was just an airhead. And a whore.

"Kristen Gregory, you'll be on the side of this table, between Massie and Olivia." Massie immediately turned her head to look. She had compared schedules with Kristen this morning, and she totally forgot that one of her best friends was in this class with her.

"Hey," Massie giggled at the pleasant surprise. At least she had Kristen to talk to at this table from hell.

"Hey!" Kristen smiled back.

"And T.J. Duncan, you'll be next to Massie, across from Harrington." Massie groaned inwardly. Not that T.J. kid, he was the last thing this table needed. He was a junior, and she'd seen the kid at parties before. He was part of some gross, grungy garage band called "The Rising Saints." They were always invited to play at A-List high school parties, and Massie never understood why. Sure, they were good, but they were no Black Eyed Peas or Plain White T's.

He was also known for scheming, pranking, and just being funny. For that, everyone loved him. But Massie didn't see what was so great about him. He was just some high school punk who liked to party on rooftops. Massie took in his tall, scrawny figure, scruffy dark hair and black Led Zeppelin T-shirt and scowled. He wasn't even hot.

This table sucked.

A/N: So, there you go. Should I continue this story? Do you like it so far? Review! :)

And don't worry, I'm not gonna have Derrington and this new guy fight to the death over Massie or anything. This is supposed to be a light and funny story, so just sit back and enjoy it! :)

And if you're looking for any more funny Clique stories, check out Not Another Clique Story by juicyfruit007. (Lol, we have such similar pen names!) It's a parody of the Clique, and it's hilarious! I was literally cracking up after every sentence. :D