hullo yes , its me i survived my first attempt at NANOWRIMO. and was all happy about finishing my book and then i watched last saturedays fic is set POST 4x9 so spoilers if you havent seen it.sure it was amazing, wonderful but, gwen did not desurve that andi was actually rather peeved at the writers for doing that to her and arthur, wiht poor merlin caught in the midle. i was especially anoyed at Elyan's apparent lack of defence for his sister.

so i give you my version of how she will return. in my head that last half glance between merlinand gwen was him silently telling her "go to the druids or ealdor both will look after you" and her saying "keep them safe" anyway this fic is rated M because i'm paranoid about the breif bits of graphic gore and should warn you there is mention of hypothetical abuse. some may view this as darkmerlin/darkGwen, i prefer to see it as merlin/gwen badass friendship.

i don't own merlin, if i did gwen would continually have epic catfights with swords, elena would turn up and chalenge arthur to races all the time and percival and merlin would break out into scotish jigs all the time. but i don't own merlin, only Colin's soul(that last bit may not be true)

hope you enjoy reading this.

Gwen Liongrace

Arthur was standing in the council chambers talking to his uncle and knights, Merlin stood off to the side wearing his new tunic, it was red and had been stitched with a V shaped pattern across it. Only he and Arthur knew of the significance of the garment, it was once given to Gaius when he was a younger man, but uthur, it was a symbol of friendship of trust. Arthur was still un easy about Merlin's magic, the emotional wounds of the revelation still raw, seeing Merlin stood there silently observing though in his mentors old tunic calmed him. In the months since Gwen's betrayal and banishment it had been Merlin who helped Arthur through each day, his council always more eloquent and accurate than the king's uncle's advice.

Agrivane, Arthur was beginning to feel uneasy about his uncle, he had been far to happy at Gwen's departure, had been more than eager to pressure Arthur into ruling with an iron fist, there was a time Arthur would have been happy too. But every time he ruled in that way made a decision that lead to fear and intimidation, he would turn and see the disappointment in Merlin's eyes. He was seeing it now. Magical bandits had been discovered hiding in a village, Agrivane's suggestion was to go into the village and kill anyone still there, under the assumption that they were allied with the bandits. Merlin's quiet suggestion was to send a small team in to seek out the bandits and issue a tough and unwavering warning, leave now, never return or face punishment. I Agrivane shouted "you are nothing but a servant, your voice hold no sway here, Arthur control your servant." At Merlin who just shrugged it off Arthur saw Merlin ready to argue back he was about to tell then to stop bickering when he heard and commotion outside the doors.

Candle stands falling over, tapestries being torn down clangs and rips, clatters and thuds. He heard muffled female voices and alarmed voices of his guards then there was a shuddering impact on the doors as they were thrown open revealing a hooded caped woman who was holding another woman by the hair, the caped woman gave an almighty heave and threw her captive to the ground, there were shocked gasps when the thrown woman turned as she fell revealing the stunning and still beautiful face of the lady Morganna. All that had changed was the face wore a permanent scowl now.

"Tell them Morgan, or I will!" the hooded woman shouted, her voice was husky and raw but there was no mistaking it. Gwen lowered her hood and glared at them all. She gave Arthur a look of betrayal and sorrow, the knights she looked on with disdain, her brother she looked on in disgust, only Merlin gained a small smile from her but even that was a tired and weary one. Morganna spat blood out of her mouth. "you dare refer to me in that way!" her eyes burned gold and Gwen leant to the side as the space she had just been popped with magic a spell aimed to throw her backwards. "I was the only one to do so when we were friends why would I not be when you have turned us into enemies"

Morganna tried to stand up and screamed. "you all abandoned me! Merlin poisoned me! You betrayed me for my whore of a bother!" Gwen moved forward so quickly it didn't register until the sound of a slap resounded through the room, a red mark sprung up on Morganna's cheek. "your brother has always been a gentleman, he has never mistreated a woman, you forget, maids talk, we know all of the goings on. As for us, it was you who abandoned us first, you set out to do harm to uthur and Camelot leaving Merlin no choice but to poison you, and I find it laughable how a woman as intelligent as you failed to notice he told morgouse exactly what poison he used, knowing she could heal you" Gwen's words brought silence to the room. "Enough stalling, will you tell them or shall I?" Morganna shook her head her eyes burning with silent fury.

"after I left I found myself being taken in by druids, they asked about me, where I was from I mentioned a friends name" she glanced ever so briefly at Merlin. "and they took me in and explained a great many things about their ways. About magic." she took a deep breath. "Lancelot was brought back and controlled by Morganna, the intention was I would see him and go weak at the knees like some common hussy, but I did not. I was pleased to see him, but as a friend, so Morganna enchanted a bracelet and had him give it to me under pretence of friendship. After that I had no choice over my actions it bracelet compelled me towards him." She turned and glared at Morganna her next words so vulgar and blunt, sickening. "you forced us both into it, if it had gone further it would have been no different to you raping us both, you vile despicable wretch." Her words sent shudders down Arthur's spine. But still he had to ask "do you have proof?" she shot him another withering look before she nodded towards Merlin giving him the order "Merlin, show them"

Merlin stepped forward and produced a silver bracelet, "it is well concealed but there is definitely an enchantment on it." Arthur noticed something odd in the way Merlin said it. "how do you know for sure? The bracelet could be anything" Merlin blushed and answered. "I put it on briefly, and well the effect was" he paused searching for the tactful way of putting it he settled for. "it was, most potent" Arthur realised what Merlin had meant and turned in his sister. "you have sunk too low this time! Are you really so desperate to rule over a people who do not want you!" Gwen spoke before Morganna could. "she did this for nothing as grand as that my lord, it was petty dislike, she didn't want me to sit on 'her' throne, so she had me disgraced, no doubt she hoped you would do what your father and Agrivane would do, have me killed." Arthur laughed despite himself, it all clicked into place and finally he had it confirmed in he head, his dear uncle was the traitor. Morganna took the moment of distraction to hurl and spell at her brother, both confused when the ball of fire dissipated around him, Gwen raised a sword and swung at Morganna who blocked it with magic and the two of them fought, the knights moved to aid Gwen but a wall of magic stopped then Agrivane tried to find a way of aiding Morganna.

Gwen's attacks were fast and brutal, as were Morganna's counter attacks Arthur stood to the side frightened for his loves life, he moved over to Merlin. "her magic is stopping me and the knights does it stop you?" he asked, gave the slightest shake of his head tilting it to the side, a gesture Arthur had long ago learned meant 'I don't know' when Morganna's back turned to them briefly Merlin and Arthur both pushed their hands forward, Arthur's stopping while Merlin's continued. He shot his friend a look, that said 'watch and learn my friend' Merlin stepped forward into the dome of magic created by Morganna. "Gwen, lovely to see you, I hear the weather's nice today" he said coming to a halt behind Morganna who spun round her eyes vivid with rage and hate. "you! I'll tear your innards out and use them to strangle you! I'll feed your still beating heart to Arthur, and bathe Gwen in your blood!" Merlin frowned at her. Where here eyes had been vibrant and full of fire where she had shouted. His eyes were stone cold and devoid of emotion. His voice almost a whisper. "you used to be so beautiful, so kind" his eyes softened remembering that old Morganna. "well you saw an end to that when you tried to kill me." She raised her dagger at him and tried to plunge it in his neck but his eyes went gold and with a voice deep and un yielding he said "my dear Morganna if I wanted you dead you would be dead. but it is not my place to kill you, I have done you wrong not the other way."

She looked at him confused. Gwen stepped forward. "thank you Emrys" Morganna eyes flew open wide. "no, no you can't be, no!" she threw the knife and Merlin flicked it to the side she spun round intending to kill Gwen, but Gwen anticipated it and stabbed her old friend with her sword, Morganna reeled back and fell to the floor, struggling for breath, Agrivane roared seeing his ally felled, he unsheathed his sword and was just about to slay king Arthur when Merlin used his magic to throw Morganna's dagger at him. Morganna saw this and used her building strength to push Gwen to the side, into the daggers path, Gwen barely got out of the way, the dagger cutting into her cheek as it carried on and slammed into Agrivane's head, cracking the skull, killing him. Arthur gasped as he was splattered in blood, Morganna felt her magic return fully and stated the spell to whisk her away. Merlin saw it and used his magic to hurl Agrivane at her, the corpse landed on her lap she paused her spell long enough to hurl a curse at Merlin which would have killed any other man, he growled at her and just as she was disappearing he shouted a curse of his own, the room shook with the force of it, the last they saw of Morganna was her eyes going white with blindness.

There was silence in the room before Gwen moved to Merlin. "what did she say, what did she do to you?" Merlin coughed and in a voice older than it had been said "she meant to accelerate my life to past death, turn me to ash and bone," he coughed again. "too powerful, Emrys" he took a deep breath his sorrowful eyes meeting those of the knights, of his king, "Emrys means immortal" he lowered his gaze, and the knights finally understood, that was why the Dorocha had not killed him, he couldn't die that way, he couldn't die. "Morganna though, powerful also, the curse." He grabbed his head letting out a shout of pain which sounded like a dragons roar. " she has aged me inside, Arthur my body is older than yours now it is three and five years old not two and five. aged faster than is natural, the pain will settle in tine but right now my innards just aged ten years in the flash of an eye. it hurts." Arthur sighed, "oh my friend" he loved over and hugged his Merlin close to him, his eyes fixed on Gwen. He pushed Merlin to the side. "Gwenevire. Could you ever forgive me for not trusting in your morals and heart."

She looked at him blankly. There was a tense silence for a while before she spoke up. "Merlin was the only one who comforted me who promised to find out what really happened he was my only friend and ally, I think in time I will forgive you, but the wounds are still raw, we must start again. She turned her eyes on her brother, on Elyan.

"a man's duty is always to his family first, it is a lesson I thought you had learned after father's death, but clearly you are still too weak to desperate for acceptance." Tears fell down her face, her voice cracked. "until you can be someone I deserve in my life I disown you, it is hard to look at Arthur, it is impossible to look at you without disgust" Merlin stepped forward, aware of what would happen to her, a woman's name and identity came form the men she called father, brother, or husband, she had none now. Sensing his question she spared him a sad smile. Looking at him but talking to them all she spoke. "Lancelot's name was defiled he was my friend, our friend. He was the bravest of us all, I take his name, I take his crest I am lady Gwenevire sister of Lancelot." Merlin felt tears of his own start to fall he hugged his friend. Whispering in her ear. "they will see sense, I will guide them to it". She squeezed him tighter, before releasing him and walking out of the room the knights slowly drifted off, Leon placing a comforting hand on Elyan's shoulder.

The only people left in the room were Arthur and Merlin.

Arthur stood there motionless rooted to the spot Merlin uttered a spell and closed the door's "no man is worth your tears, but, the woman you love is" he said quietly placing his arm around Arthurs back as he stood beside his king in a half hug. Arthur let out one shaky breath remembering the conversation they had had about Freya. the thought of it was too much for the king. who had just seen his sister in her new state of evil for the first time, who had just seen his uncle die why trying to kill him. Who had just seen the disappointment and pain in his loves eyes, the king cried with his best friend and court sorcerer sat next to him. Merlin leant his head against the side of his king's and whispered the same words he had to Gwen "she will see sense, I will guide her to it, old friend"

is it bad that i enjoied killing agrivane, alot, i was going to have merlins magically aided dagger explode his head but decided agaist it. sort of want to leave it up to you what happens to morganna after, did she heal from the stab wound or not?merlin blinded her, not sure if that was clear, she aged him in a agonising way causeing him to snap and steal her site while throwing a corpse at her, because merlin is happy and kind but we all know emrys is probably the magical equivilant of the hulk. you dont make him angry.i understand why morganna thinks she is the right, but come on! she viewed regicide as a viable option way back in series one when they were all friends, she is the one who turned her backand betrayed not the other way round, numpty.

i'm dyslexic so i apologise for any spelling and greamma mistakes that escaped my notice,

oh this was a one shot, forgot to say that, was going to follow it up years down the fictional time line where the arthur/gwen/lancelot 'love'triangle wasn't phsyical instead steming from arthur's deeprooted insecurities over gwen choosing to take lancelots name (in a sisterly way) before she took his. and how it slowly gnawed away at them, but that would have been depressiong so i'm not, if any of you feel the need to write it though thats cool and fine with me :D review?