Title: Until Death
By: Chrissy Sky
Pairings: Xellos/Zelgadis, very one-sided Zelgadis/Rezo.
Rating: M
Warnings: YAOI. SPOILERS FOR THE END OF SLAYERS REVOLUTION/EVOLUTION.
Summary: In the end, Zelgadis is left to pick up the pieces. But he is not alone.
Notes: My first mostly solo project in awhile, though I took many pointers from Rose Thorne while writing it.
He still remembered the last touch in his human body. It did not matter that it was his grandfather and Rezo was unlikely to return his budding feelings. He was a teenager, and almost morbidly enjoy the hopelessness of his one-sided crush. But when Rezo stroked his cheek, he couldn't help the fluttering of his heart.
He still remembered the last smell. Electricity in the air as the Red Priest's power built up.
He still remembered the last sight. Those unseeing eyes closed to the world, and that smile.
Searing pain had ripped through his body and soul. He remembered the anguish and rage that followed.
After that, his world was different.
He'd believed in Rezo and would've done anything for him. He'd wanted to get stronger to continue helping what he thought was Rezo's ideal—protecting the weak, healing the sick, and saving the world one village at a time.
Get stronger… It left a bitter taste in his mouth long afterwards, those foolish dreams of his youth.
Zelgadis swore he would never do something as stupid as fall in love again.
The sea breeze felt good on his face. Zelgadis was close enough to shore to hear the gulls flying nearby. He sailed his small ship away from the harbor, seeking new adventures on his own.
He also waited, patiently, because he was unlikely to remain alone for long. At least, that was his hope.
Zelgadis turned as he felt a presence, and with a sparkle of purple Xellos appeared, lounging on the deck casually. There was a bright, carefree smile on his face.
Zelgadis reacted instinctively. He threw himself on top of the Mazoku and grabbed him by the front of his pseudo-priestly robes.
"Xellos, you bastard! You could've died!" In the battle with Ghost Shabranigdu after Rezo's resurrection, Xellos had shocked them all by helping them. Zel hadn't been able to react at the time, but he had been truly worried. "Why didn't you just run away?!"
One eye peeked open but the smile did not waver. "Iya, Zelgadis-san, I was merely following orders. It was necessary. Besides, you always hate it when I run."
"This was different!" Zelgadis shouted, letting out his frustration, his chest heaving. "Damn it, Xellos… I'd just found out, not long before then, that the purpose of my life has been a lie! There is no cure!"
The priest was not surprised by the revelation, nor was Zelgadis surprised that he wasn't. "I know." He'd been watching, after all.
"If you'd died then what the hell would I have had to live for?!"
Xellos softened. Pliable hands tangled in wire hair as he pulled the young shaman close. "Zelgadis-san. Is that why you threw yourself into the battle so carelessly? Not just for Lina-san, but for me too?"
Zelgadis hid his face against real-seeming robes, feeling the warmth of Xellos' illusionary body. His hard frame shook slightly. "Yes, damn it… It's hard enough pretending I don't care."
Xellos smiled, pressing his cheek against wire hair. "Ah."
"Don't you ever worry me like that again."
"I will try not to."
"Bastard."
"Yare yare."
It had happened after the battle with Dark Star and they had all gone their separate ways again. Zelgadis had decided to head into the Desert of Destruction to see if the tribes that lived there with the unyielding sands had any information for him. The nomads were an untrusting people and were almost like gypsies. In order to find out anything at all, he'd had to earn their trust first.
It took nearly a month.
He knew he shouldn't have been surprised when, not long after his arrival, he caught sight of a familiar head of purple hair—though it had been covered by an absurd turban at the time. Zelgadis chased him down—Xellos had tried to run and caused quite a bit of chaos along the way—and demanded answers. The priest would give him none and became an annoying constant presence during his time with the nomads.
They seemed to know Xellos already, and it took Zelgadis longer than he should've to realize that Wolf Pack Island was nearby. The island was said to be the location of Xellos' master, the Greater Beast Xellas Metallium.
Xellos being friendly toward him slightly helped the natives trust him. They taught him some new skills, though it had mostly been a pretense to learn how strong this masked shaman was. He'd learned to throw knives with deadly accuracy, something that they did for fun from a young age. Zel found it much quicker to use his hair instead of actual knives, however. This amused Xellos endlessly.
That was also when he first heard about Zuuma, who had just shown up in the assassin world. It was mostly idle gossip over beer, but Zelgadis made of point of remembering it. He remembered Xellos' face looking unnaturally serious while he listened as well.
To gain access to their written knowledge, Zelgadis had to join the tribe, and to do that he had to participate in a harvest festival. He'd agreed without asking exactly what part he would be playing. Xellos did too—he knew this for a fact because the Mazoku had been just as surprised when they found out.
"Oh?" The tribe elder smiled mischievously. "You would have to be married, of course!"
"WHAT?!" Zelgadis bonked his head on the tent's hanging lantern when he stood rapidly.
Both of Xellos' eyes opened and he stared at the elder in open surprise for a few moments.
The elder nodded, amused. He'd been a sneaky old coot. "Either to an eligible young person of our tribe or to each other."
Zelgadis had frowned and looked at Xellos closely, who inspected him in the same manner.
"Why do you want it?" he asked Xellos suspiciously, whispering.
Xellos shrugged. "Who said that I do? It might be interesting, that's all."
"… It's not a secret?"
"Not even I can say that all the time, Zelgadis-san."
He growled lowly. Zelgadis couldn't simply marry a girl—or boy—when all he wanted was to learn if the tribe had some hidden secrets that could lead him to a cure. But to admit that would give away his hand, and if he married a villager it would be a false marriage. He didn't want to hurt someone like that. But if he married Xellos, it wasn't like it would be legal. He was a Mazoku and it didn't apply. And he couldn't hurt someone that didn't have feelings. "If you ever say anything about this to anybody, I will find a way to kill you."
Xellos' lips twitched. "As you say."
So they were married under the full moon during a grand celebration. Even some from neighboring tribes attended. There was dancing, singing, and great feasts. If Zelgadis hadn't been so nervous about remembering to make his vows sound sincere, he might've even enjoyed it.
The actual ceremony was viewed by all at the festival and was the cause of much joy for the tribe. They had cheered, thrown rice, and eagerly escorted the newlyweds to their private tent once it was over.
"Looks like we'll have to stay here awhile," Xellos murmured, the noise of the festival blocked out slightly by the heavy canvas of the tent. The Mazoku was relaxing in a way that Zelgadis had rarely seen, resting on his stomach on the bedding. He looked completely at ease.
Zelgadis agreed. If they went out now, they would likely be seen, and the nomads would think there was something wrong (which, of course, was true). It struck him, though, that he had never actually been alone with Xellos for any length of time before. There had always been Lina and the others around, and here there had been the locals. It added to his embarrassment.
"We could always occupy ourselves doing what they think we'll be doing," Xellos suggested, wriggling his eyebrows.
"No!" Zelgadis blushed, appalled. He was irritated that Xellos could even joke about it, though he didn't know why exactly, which made him even more irritated. It added to the general irritation he'd always felt around Xellos. From their first meeting, the mysterious priest had reminded him of someone he'd not wanted to remember…
Xellos was obviously enjoying himself. "Maa. Then what would you suggest we do?"
… Except Xellos was much more open about his playful side, unlike Rezo.
"You could just leave without them knowing," he pointed out gruffly.
"True. But that would be so boring."
Zelgadis looked around, his brow twitching as he suppressed the urge to use Ra Tilt. It was a comfortable tent but did not have anything inside but their belongings and provisions for the occasion. There were no books for them to read, but there was a guitar sitting innocently in one corner.
"You like music?" he asked hesitantly, picking up the instrument. It had been a long time since he had played at all, let alone for someone else. It would likely be wasted on the Mazoku.
Xellos brightened instantly. "Yes. Music is one of the highest achievements of human culture."
Surprised by that, Zelgadis placed the guitar in his lap and began to play. It was the somber tune he was most familiar with, the notes heartbreakingly gentle. The image of how blissful the evil being had looked, resting his head in his arms, his legs swishing idly back and forth, would stay with Zel.
Xellos was like Rezo in many ways. Perhaps that was what irritated him the most about the priest, not that he'd kept him from reading the Claire Bible copy. But Xellos had not pretended to be a saint and then betrayed him as utterly as Rezo had. That was the fundamental difference.
Even so, Zelgadis couldn't bring himself to trust easily. Xellos was there for something; he'd known he shouldn't let himself get distracted, even if Xellos did look oddly adorable lying there. As he kicked his feet, he idly bounced his heels off his own butt. He'd propped himself up on his elbows, with his hands steepled under his chin.
Embarrassed, Zelgadis couldn't help but note how flexible Xellos' earthly body was.
Of course his body was flexible, Zelgadis reasoned, as it wasn't real and Xellos could do whatever he wanted with it! This line of reasoning had a double-edged sword, however, as the direction of his thoughts only got worse.
"Beautiful," Xellos whispered, almost in awe.
Zelgadis face reddened. "Thanks."
One of his eyes opened, and it studied him keenly. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to have intercourse?"
His fingers slipped, hitting the wrong cords as the blush deepened. "What?!"
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" the priest asked coyly.
"I was not!"
"Yare yare. It's alright, you know. We're both consenting adults."
"Stop joking!" He was terribly humiliated to be caught fantasizing, though it had only been done innocently.
Both of Xellos' eyes opened then, and his face took on a surprisingly serious expression. "I am not joking, Zelgadis-san." He sighed, sitting up. "It's not as though I haven't thought about you that way before, nor you about me—though you never admitted it to yourself. But it has been hard approaching you. During our time in the outer world, you've seemed less irritated with me, and we've been getting along reasonably well here. I thought perhaps…"
Zelgadis blinked, surprised that Xellos was being so direct. Xellos didn't seem to be used to it either, as his speech was soft and almost hesitant. "Perhaps?" he prompted, hesitant himself.
"Ah, well…" The priest began to crawl toward him on hands and knees, leaving his staff behind on the floor. "I thought perhaps that you wouldn't mind so much."
Zelgadis leaned back, wanting to get away, but soon met with the other end of the tent. "But… Why?"
Xellos reached out slowly, cupping Zelgadis' face and seemingly ignoring the chimera's flinch. "Because I want to, with you."
"Because I'm convenient and my misery tastes good?" Zelgadis asked softly, glaring.
Xellos laughed softly, leaning in. He gently pulled the guitar from Zel's hands and set it aside almost reverently. "No. Misery is far from what I hope you'll be feeling, and there are more convenient people than you."
"Then go to one of them."
"But they are not you."
Their noses touched and Zelgadis gulped thickly, trying to resist the urge to flee. "But why?!"
"Stop thinking so much," Xellos murmured, "and just feel." He pressed their lips together gently, silencing Zelgadis.
Zelgadis could have thrown him off, he knew. Xellos did not hold him down and force him. His caresses were soft at the start, but the chimera—inexperienced as he was in this area—was completely overwhelmed with sensation. Xellos' touches were almost reassuring in their slowness and he soon clung to the priest's soft body. Taking his advice, Zel allowed himself to simply feel.
There was more embarrassment as clothes were removed, but Xellos did not mock him. Instead the Mazoku proceeded to kiss and lick at every dark stone he could get to until the young man was writhing beneath him. His body seemed to jumpstart suddenly. He began to explore the priest's earthly body, which pleased Xellos immensely.
He let Xellos take him—begged him to, which was even more embarrassing. Xellos had only smiled and prepared him expertly so that it didn't hurt too much. There was pain, but only because it was Zel's first time and it soon passed. Xellos, infinitely patient, waited until the chimera was ready before moving, which he was rewarded for with more kisses.
He had dreamed that his first time would be like this, but hadn't thought it would be possible with his stone body.
"Husband," Xellos moaned, breathless with desire. It completely undid Zelgadis.
They laid together panting softly when they were spent. Zelgadis was surprised, but pleased, when Xellos stuck close to him. Xellos the Trickster Priest was a cuddler!
As the party outside grew quieter, he knew that he could sneak out to see the locals' books and scrolls. But he was comfortable and tentatively happy.
"That was…" Zel trailed off uncertainly.
Xellos laughed softly. "Yes. And it was only the first time."
Zel blinked at him, shocked. He'd thought this was only a conquest for the Mazoku, that he would be disinterested in him afterwards.
"Unless you don't want to?" The look the Mazoku gave him clearly said he wouldn't believe it if he said so.
The chimera blushed. "It's not that simple. I'm human and you're, well, you. Evil. Up until now it's only been circumstance that kept us from fighting on opposing sides. What if…"
Xellos pressed a finger to his lips. "You're worrying again, Zel-san. I have thought of these things for a long time, but… If I had any hope of continuing to resist this, it is long gone now."
Zelgadis sat up enough to look at him closely. "How do I know you're not lying?"
"I don't lie," Xellos said simply.
"You hide things. How's that different?"
"The truth is a valuable thing, Zelgadis-san," Xellos told him earnestly, absently caressing the chimera's chest. "I don't like giving it out unless it's absolutely necessary."
Zelgadis sighed, not seeing the use in arguing. "Even so… I guess I don't want to stop either, I guess." It was dangerous and would likely end in tragedy as he grew closer to Xellos. But even if they stopped now, it would still hurt. "I just don't know if I should trust you."
Xellos frowned. "I wouldn't recommend trusting me, if the occasion calls for it. I admit that one day we could be enemies. However, you can trust me with your feelings. My Mazoku pride wouldn't allow me to use them against you," he confessed softly.
Zelgadis stared. "Is that how it works?"
"Ah, more or less."
The shaman frowned, poking Xellos lightly in the ribs. "Not encouraging me there, Xellos."
The priest laughed uncomfortably. "Sorry."
Zelgadis sighed, resting his head on Xellos' chest. "I'm tired. Let's worry about it later. Take it slow."
Fingers combed through his hair gently as though it were real. "I do not mind going slow."
"Mm."
In the morning, they went to see the writings together and, naturally, discovered nothing of use. Zelgadis was highly frustrated, but Xellos seemed enthused by all the cooking recipes, which he copied and stored away in his bag.
They lived together there with the tribe for a few weeks longer before a messenger came from Seyruun. It was from Prince Phil, asking if he could return and protect Amelia on a special mission. Zelgadis could not refuse and Xellos understood. He traveled with the chimera as far as the border of Seyruun before he departed with a smile, saying they would likely meet up again soon.
They had, though not in the way Zelgadis would've wished.
Sitting with Xellos on the boat, under an umbrella the priest conjured for them, Zelgadis held his lover close. The image of Xellos' ripped body was still fresh in his mind and he needed to assure himself that the Mazoku was indeed whole again.
Xellos did not seem to mind. They spoke quietly for a time, letting the boat drift.
"The worst part is I don't know what to do next," Zelgadis confessed. "Should I keep searching, hoping to find a magic stronger than what Rezo wielded, or move on?"
Xellos shook his head seriously. "That is something you must figure out on your own, my dear."
Zelgadis sighed heavily. "I know… Damn, I hate him."
"More than me?" Xellos asked teasingly, knowing full well that Zelgadis didn't hate him.
He smirked. "Way more."
Xellos idly rubbed the back of his neck, knowing how much he enjoyed massages. "Yare yare. Should I be jealous?"
"Nah. I was a kid back then, you know that." Zelgadis did not mind admitting his crush to Xellos. Somehow he felt better after talking about it.
Xellos hummed softly. "Still can't have been easy… Zelgadis-san, I have a confession to make."
Zelgadis sat up, looking around quickly as though afraid.
"What is it?" Xellos asked, perplexed.
He smirked down at him. "Just checking to be sure the world isn't ending."
"My!" Xellos swatted at him playfully.
Zelgadis chuckled and returned to his side. "What did you want to say?"
Xellos turned serious instead of continuing to banter, which was telling in itself. "I did not take our short battle seriously. I'd hoped that Lina-san would think of something and surrender before it got to that, and she did not disappoint."
"Oh, that." Zelgadis nodded, petting Xellos' soft hair reassuringly. "Xellos, the worst you did hit me with your staff. I was mad, but I figured it out eventually. Besides, it's better to hide our relationship from the others for now." They had discussed it before leaving the Desert of Destruction and had reached the conclusion together; though neither of them were ashamed of their new relationship, they didn't want to be Dragon Slaved by Lina.
Xellos smiled a little, leaning into the touch. "Indeed. Your act was superb, by the way."
"It wasn't always an act." There had been moments when he was truly angry at his lover. "Somehow we ended up on the same side again. You saved us."
Xellos beamed. "Naturally. We are married, you know. Besides, I'm rather fond of the others as well, beyond their usefulness in defeating dark lords."
Zelgadis snorted. "Good to know… Wait, what's that wedding got to do with anything? I thought since you were Mazoku and it was a holy ritual, it wouldn't be real…" He trailed off, almost ashamed at his words, but it was the truth.
The priest was not mad however. "It was an older ritual so the binding did not hurt. I said the vows and as I do not lie, it is as binding as a contract."
Zelgadis stiffened in his arms. "Crap… Am I immortal now?"
Xellos laughed. "Not that kind of contract. I am honor bound to you, that's all."
Zelgadis frowned, thinking that over with what he knew about his lover. "It's not really that simple though, is it?"
"No, it isn't," Xellos admitted with a sigh. "If, for instance, the order came for me to kill you and the others, I would find myself bound to ending your life personally and as painlessly as possible."
His frown deepened, but instead of being afraid, he felt sadness for Xellos' sake. "You let yourself be willingly bound to me, knowing that? You basically fucked yourself over. That is, if you care that much…"
Xellos smiled gently, tracing the stones on his eyebrows. "Is it not painfully obvious by now?"
"And you don't feel any pain revealing that?"
Xellos shrugged. "I saved you from the ghost of Shabranigdu and lived to tell about it. These feelings could be considered a strength."
Zelgadis smiled slowly. "You're adorable sometimes, you know that?"
A purple eyebrow twitched slightly. "Yare yare."
"But seriously… I guess if you can see it that way, then maybe I can too." Zelgadis had once wanted strength to protect someone he loved. He had been blind to that person's true intentions, but he knew Xellos more intimately than he ever had Rezo. It was different. He could distinguish the two.
Xellos kissed his neck softly. "I'm glad to hear that."
"Mm… Do you get sunburn?" he asked idly, tilting his head back in offering.
Xellos kept kissing his neck, not disappointing. "Why?"
Zelgadis smirked playfully. "You'll hardly be frightening if your face is red and peeling."
"My! Then you'll have to put some lotion on me," Xellos said just as playfully.
"Someone might see!" It was unlikely since they were in a boat and no one else was around, but he was shy.
Xellos shook his head. "I won't let them. I'd rather be the only one to enjoy the sight of your body."
Zelgadis blushed. "Xellos!"
"And I only want you to see me."
Zelgadis softened. "See? Adorable."
"Please be quiet, Zelgadis-san."
"Make me."
And so he did.
The end.
Wow, finished something! XD This ended up being sweeter than it was supposed to be. I heard what Xellos had done in Evo before seeing it and was absolutely furious with him. Zel's reaction in the second section mirrors somewhat what I was going through. I'm still quite vexed with Xellos, while being proud of him.