[Crack!fic.
Pairing: Barry Allen/Clark Kent.
Warnings: Might be a little squicky but is very PG.
DC TV Bingo Square: 'Barry Allen'.
AN: So, I was thinking about Clork's tendency to eat things he shouldn't in the comics. Noteable examples being drinking a dagger, biting chunks off of a knife that someome tried to stab him with, and eating Kryptonite rocks. So, this fic was born.
Also a gift for Holdt on A03 ]
The last thing Barry expected to get out of being a Superhero was a boyfriend. Not that he minded, of course. Clark was cute , Barry couldn't help but like him, and sure, dating your best friend's close cousin could be awkward but he wasn't too worried.
"Hey," Clark smiled warmly when he arrived in the crime lab.
Barry smiled back and admittedly, neither of them, really knew what to do. Do I hug him? Is that awkward on any earth? He wondered, his bottom lip between his cheek. They hadn't really kissed yet. On their first date Clark had kissed him on the cheek as they still hadn't discussed dating norms on their earths yet. Neither of them wanted to do anything off putting.
They had planned to when tragedy struck in Central City and cut the date short. While it was a bit of a let down it was refreshing to not worry about it. Neither of them were offended or too upset by the situation. Barry didn't need to feel guilty because Clark understood it.
They were hoping to talk about that today . If time permitted, because they enjoyed each other's company and wanted to explore that. It surprised Barry that this was something he never asked Kara about. Asking now would feel weird.
"Did you get here alright?" Barry asked as he cleared off a desk in his lab for them to use. Most of what was cleared aside was paperwork that Barry had been working on before Clark arrived.
"Oh yeah! That extrapolator Mr. Ramon made is like a subway but a little colder and faster." Clark was charming, friendly and genuine. In a way Barry responded to. It was easy for them to fall into conversation and enjoy themselves.
"Right? It's so damn cold."
"Oh, right, speedsters don't like cold." He filed that away as a mental note.
"No, we do not," Barry laughed softly. "I heard Kryptonians run warm though, so I think I'm in good hands." He winked.
Clark coughed around a fry and nodded. "Absolutely," he smiled in return before continuing. "So, we should probably talk."
"Oh, right yeah … I always meant to just ask Kara. I never got around to it then it felt awkward because now she'd know I was talking about you-"
"Yeah, I know," he laughed softly. "It's fine. From what I've heard I think dating is pretty much the same, but don't worry if anythings different. We'll work through it pretty easily." Clark shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "Just gotta communicate."
"That's true, I guess I was worried about nothing."
"And I guess I should say now … I'm totally fine with just seeing where this goes, we don't need to dive into anything dramatic."
"Of course," Barry gave a firm nod. "I just like hanging out with you," he took a sip of his milkshake.
"Me too," he smiled a little.
They easily feel into a conversation about inter-multiverse travel. Which evolved into a chat about their villains. Barry talked about his villains that had become allies, like Hartley and Leonard Snart. Clark listened intently as Barry moved onto talking about the particle accelerator explosion that gave him his powers.
Clark contributed too, of course. Barry was more than happy to hear about his time on earth, it was a much different experience than Kara's. When they finished eating Clark held out a hand for Barry's shake cup. "Can I have that?"
"Oh, sure." He passed the cup to Clark. He'd seen Kara compact trash in her hands before so he was used to handing over his garbage to Kryptonians without much question.
However, Clark didn't crush the cup in his hands. He folded the lid unto a triangle and … Barry blinked slowly. Clark had popped the lid into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. He then took a large bite out of the cup itself. Plastic silently tearing. Kara … didn't do that.
Barry quickly looked away, not wanting to be rude. He was certainly taken off guard, but he'd met some interesting people over the years so Clark eating a cup wasn't that strange to him.
"Did you know plastic takes like, twenty years to biodegrade? It all just ends up in the water hurting animals. I might as well recycle it properly when I can."
"Yeah, I try to use paper when I can but sometimes I gotta make do." He shrugged his shoulders.
Clark paused, noting through look Barry shrugged off. "Oh I forgot Kara didn't go through her terrible twos with superpowers. When I finally got teeth I ate my crib."
"The entire thing?" Barry's eyes were blown.
"Oh no, just the bars." Clark began to laugh. "That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?"
"Not at all," Barry shook his head. "We all have quirks. I'm just surprised at how fast you really took that down." he laughed weakly. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh."
"No, you can laugh. It's sort of my party trick. When Kara was fourteen, I ate an entire broken table in front of her and no one believed her."
Soon the got rid of the rest of their trash. Clark didn't eat it. (Or, at least not most of it.) It didn't take long and soon Clark was hopping through the breach again, but not of course without a propper kiss from Barry.