Summary: Ying Fa left her life as a princess in Clow Kingdom when her mother, Queen Nadeshiko, wants her to be engaged to someone she hadn't met in her entire life. She chose to live in Tomoeda, a discreet town in Japan, change identity as Sakura Kinomoto, a nerd, introverted college student and/to have a normal life. Everything was going smoothly in her plan until one day he met Syaoran Li, a mysterious guy who keeps on bantering her every chance he got. SxS AU

If I Could

Chapter One: Change the World

"I can't do this anymore, Yue. It feels like I'm being attached to strings and there's nothing I can do but to oblige. She's controlling me. She has been controlling me since Father was gone and I can't," she stopped. "I can't do this anymore."

"Princess…"

"I know I may sound like I'm not being thankful above everything I have and everything around me. But look at me." She paused and pleaded with her eyes to her silver-haired guardian. "I'm not happy anymore. I feel like I'm being caged and I just want to fly! There's a big world outside the kingdom and I want to be free." And then as if it wants to make a scene so the princess can notice him, Cerberus purred and meowed. "Of course, Cerby, I'll bring you with me."

"And how will you survive to the outside world, Princess Ying Fa of Clow Kingdom?" He emphasized her title to bring some sense to her as if it can change her mind. The princess may be intelligent and talented and she's 21 but never in her entire life had she set foot outside the Clow Castle. She even never met the Clowers, the common people of her land. He didn't know why. There was nothing that can make her explore their country. The only people she know and met are the aristocrats and some noble men and women. She never experience hunger and pain. She has everything she wanted and more. She is a damn princess for Pete's sake! And she's throwing it all away as if it's an ordinary thing in the world.

The Clow Kingdom is just the size of Texas. It is an island in the Pacific near Japan. The Clows has been ruling the country since thousand years ago. It was Ying Fa's great grandfather, Masaki Amamiya that made the country at its glory now. It may be a small nation and has a few citizens but nevertheless it is a rich country. Gold and Silver are the kingdom's riches. Many countries tried to invade and overrule the country but it is believed that a certain Clow Reed, an ancestor of the princess, was able to use magic to protect their humble home. It was in folk tales and myths and was never been proven truth.

In the present, Fujitaka Kinomoto, Ying Fa's father, was the king while Nadeshiko was his queen. Fujitaka and Nadeshiko had two children, Touya and Ying Fa. Fujitaka was an archaeologist and was always in an adventure, as what he calls it, to find old architectures and ruins around the world. He was free-spirited and he has little interest in power and ruling a country. He was rarely at home so it was the queen who was left the baggage to influence and rule. Touya and Ying Fa understood their father's passion and they don't have any bad feelings onto him. He may be mostly not their in their lives but if he was, he'll make the most out of it to express his love and care to his children. Unfortunately, because of the circumstances, the queen became cold and distant. She became focused into being a queen that she neglected being a mother. The queen's prowess and influence has reached the world that her words became unbending. Touya was engaged to Mizuki Kaho, the crown princess of Sweden. Their meeting and marriage-to-be were fixed. It was the queen's will, of course. It was indeed a great plan because the Clow Kingdom will merge to the country of Sweden and will further have a vast control to the West. Mizuki Kaho's country was disintegrating and into the verge of falling apart that the queen chose to manipulate that weakness. The queen was ruthless, indeed. It will be four months from now for the said wedding.

But the groom-to-be is missing for three months. Touya went to his way to find their father, the King Fujitaka. It has been a year now that the king had been away and it was the first time that he failed to be at home or at least announce his situation to any means of communication to the kingdom. It became Touya's responsibility to find the King but in Ying Fa's mind, the prince saw this opportunity to run away from the marriage. This made a hell of a ruckus to the castle. The sharp queen also thought she decided to announce the engagement of her daughter to Yoshiyuki Terada. Yoshiyuki was a cousin of Ying Fa. It is in the Clow Code, compilation of laws and decrees of the Clow Kingdom, that crown princesses should marry a relative Clow to maintain the royal familial lineage.

She had met Yoshiyuki at least twice. He was in his mid-30s and definitely handsome. He has a neatly-combed brown hair and brown eyes. He always has a smile on his chiseled face and everyone seems to like him. 'He was nice', Ying Fa once thought. But she didn't feel anything extraordinary to him as to what he expects when she'll meet the One for her.

"Yoshiyuki is a great man, you know." Yue told her as if he read her mind.

"I really can't marry him, Yue. He may be nice and handsome and all but I can't imagine myself as her wife and to spend my eternity with him."

Ying Fa looked around her. She was in her room with Yue. It was spacious and almost everything spells regal. But like everything else in the palace, the floor was amber colored with maroon carpet. Everything is also customized as per her wishes and wants. It was her sanctuary. But she has to give up everything to achieve her freedom. She has to, to change her world.

"My passport and new identity was furnished thanks to you. My flight to Japan is almost two hours from now." She beamed. "I'll find this guy," she rummaged her small backpack for a small piece of paper, "Yukito Tsukishiro, 897 Midnight Haven, Tomoeda, Japan", she clearly read. "He is your cousin and he's expecting me", she added.

"Right, but Princess I'm still worried. If anything happens to you… Can't I do something to change your mind?" the pressure of losing the Princess with his consent was rushing through his body. He's more than willing to do anything and everything just to protect the Princess. He has watched her grow into the lady she is now. Not only Touya was his bestfriend but also Ying Fa's. The gray-haired guardian was always there for her. And during her adolescent age, she had always thought that he was her first love. It was a one of his favorite memories, the ever-so-cute Ying Fa during that time blushing whenever she laid her eyes onto him.

"Y-Yue," the emerald-eye fourteen-year old princess called. She managed to hear her own voice. She had been following his brother and Yue waiting for a chance to approach the latter. It's his birthday and she wants to give him a gift. "I… um… please accept this!" Ying Fa stuttered as she gave a white rabbit plush to him. Her face was tinted with pink blush.

"Cute. You're so cute Ying Fa." He complimented the princess and intended to use her real name without her honorifics. She is becoming more and more beautiful as time goes by.

"Hoeee." Ying Fa ran away with a redder shade of blush on her cheeks. 'He called my name. I'm so happy!' She told herself.

"Are you falling for my sister, Yue?" Touya said with over protectiveness to his tone. "She's ten years younger than you, you know. And to remind you, I'm the best swordsman in the East!" As if to threaten his bestfriend, he added.

"She's cute, you know," the taller grey-haired man disregarded the prince's perils and hugged the white rabbit plush as if to continue to make fun of his bestfriend.

"If anything happens to me, it is my will." She raised her voice while lifting up her wand. Yue was brought back from the trance as he heard her voice. "I, Ying Fa, Princess of Clow Kingdom is relieving Yue, Guardian of the Clow Sovereigns," Yue bend his knees and bow in front of the Princess, "is hereby relieved from any responsibility; will refrain from any form of communication; abstain from doing any help and assistance; and forget this moment as his last encounter to the Princess of Clow from hereon until further notice."

"W-what?" flabbergasted was an understatement to describe what he feels. He stood and held his hand onto her shoulders. "I can't, Princess!"

"You heard me." It was absolute.

"But…"

"No buts. I have to go." She grabbed her small pink backpack and placed Cerby to the cat bag. "You're dismissed, Yue." She suddenly said not looking to him. "Let's go, Cerby."

As the princess faced her back on to him, she can feel tears building up from her eyes. She gave a final hug to him and said, "Good bye, Yue. Take care of yourself and mother." She placed a soft kiss onto his left cheek.

-tobecontinued-

AN: this is my first time writing a fanfic so please bear with me.. please R&R! ja ne!