The evening in Konoha was particularly stilled tonight, the birds long gone and the insects seemingly reluctant to begin any buzzing or chirping. Not even a light breeze came through to rustle the leaves, but even with the lack of win the recent rain had left a chill in the air. Few were still out in the streets, many unwilling to maneuver around puddles in the dark, and besides that there was a definite gloom hovering over the village. But there was one kunoichi still wandering the dirt roads and looking very out of place with bright pink hair in the dark gloom of the evening. Her bright emerald eyes moved quickly between the stores and restaurants she passed, unable to find a familiar sunny blond head.
"Just where are you Naruto..." Sakura mumbled to herself, crossing her arms to keep warm from the chill. She needed to find him...especially after what happened. The look on his face when he learned of Jiraiya-sama's death...it had been a shocked one. But then his eyes had become defiant and angry...then almost desperate. But soon it faded into a deep sadness that seemed to stretch forever in his deep blue eyes, and it continued even after he gave her a smile a little later on. The smiled had been forced, and it looked painful to do. It died quickly as well...And it had been two days since then. His eyes continued to haunt her and when she had gone put on what was supposed to be a stroll to clear her head, but it quickly turned into a full blown search for the depressed little baka. He hadn't been at his apartment...or at Ichiraku's, or any of his usual haunts. Now she was just scanning as much of Konoha as she could...and the lack of results only worried her more. Just where was that idiot?
Thinking she may have missed something down the last street, Sakura turned and began to backtrack when she spotted the long, platinum blond ponytail of Ino. It was a bit of a long shot...but maybe the pig had seen him.
"Ino!" Sakura called, starting to trot toward the girl, "Ino, wait a sec!" Said girl turned and quickly grimaced as Sakura ran into a particularly muddy puddle, splashing both their legs with the cold nasty stuff.
"Oh, c'mon Sakura!" Ino squealed, trying to hold back a shiver as it trickled down into her boots.
"Sorry!" Sakura said insincerely, "I was just wondering if you've seen Naruto at all?"
Ino cocked an eyebrow but kept her personal comments to herself, "I did actually," Sakura's heart jumped a little, "But he didn't look so good. I saw him head into a-a bar actually..." Sakura held back a groan and closed her eyes. He wouldn't really do that would he?
"Thanks Ino!" Sakura said, making a right to the only bar in the area.
Ino watched her quickly shrinking form and couldn't stop herself from calling after her, "You better make him feel better forehead!"
Sakura moved quickly among the buildings, most of which were closed from the lack of business that day, but one light was still blazing in the darkness. She hurried over and ducked inside, immediately wrinkling her nose against the stale and overwhelming smell of sake. Only two men were inside and she immediately recognized the blond. Her heart sank a little as Naruto lifted a sake cup to his mouth, downing it in two seconds before pouring himself another. It wasn't looking good.
She hesitantly approached him and lightly tapped his shoulder before taking the empty stool next to him. Naruto looked around frantically until his eyes found Sakura. "Oh, it's just you Sakura-chan! Thought I was -hic- in trouble for a second there..." he giggled and took another drink. Sakura watched him carefully, taking note of his very red cheeks and rather unfocused eyes. She shifted slightly in her chair and held back a gasp as she saw one, two, three, four, five empty bottles next to him. Which made this one the sixth...
What's the bartender thinking letting him drink like this? She rubbed her bro in frustration as said bartender came to her to tend to any orders. He looked at Sakura quizzically but she shook her head. They couldn't both be plastered...
"Naruto, why are you...well...drinking?" Naruto seemed to not hear her as he poured himself yet another drink, and she felt a wave of irritation. "Naruto-"
"This -hic- was his favorite drink Sakura-chan." She stopped and watched him, feeling a sadness emanate from him, "If I -hic- remember correctly -hic- he would ask me to drink this kind -hic- every now and again. And you know -hic- I think I need another!" he called in a singsong voice to the bartender, shaking the empty bottle by his ear and hearing not a single swish. The bartender ambled over, taking out yet another powder blue bottle and setting it beside Naruto. Naruto quickly opened it and began pouring himself yet another drink.
"Naruto, you should really-"
"I hated the stuff! -Hic- I think I only -hic- said yes about -hic- two times." Two more shots, and he bobbed slightly, some of the sake threatening to escape his mouth, "Only two -hic- out of nine." His voice became unusually bitter and he smiled, although it was devoid of any joy, "I always hated -hic- how much it burned -hic- as it went down my throat." Several more shots and several more hiccups that almost sent it sputtering around. Sakura's insides twisted uncomfortably as she watched her grieving friend.
"Maybe...you should get some water or something then." Sakura suggested, placing a comforting hand on his arm, but Naruto shook his head, taking another drink. "B-But why?"
"I -hic- don't know. Guess -hic hic- it's because it was his favorite -hic- kind of sake." Sakura felt her eyes get a little wet but bit back any sadness. She had to be there for Naruto. He started giggling incessantly, barely managing to gulp down his next drink, but he soon shook his head as it became mirthless, then just an odd sound. Another drink. Then another. Sakura was starting to feel stupid. Why didn't she just take the damn thing away from him? But even as the tips of her fingers brushed against the bottle, she thought of him saying how it was his favorite drink, and she pulled her hand away.
"So...what's it called? It doesn't have a label."
"You know -hic- what? I'm not really sure. I just -hic- came and ordered 'Ero-sennin's usual' and he took -hic- it out. I said I -hic- needed seven. He said 'fine'. For all I -hic- know it's -hic- it's Pervy sake! -hic- Or Insta Perv!" Another three hiccups followed by three more drinks and Sakura had to admit that it was a miracle that he was even still awake. Normal people would have collapsed by now, maybe even taken to the hospital, but Sakura knew that Naruto was far from normal. She had an inkling that the Kyuubi had something to do with this resistance, but she supposed even it couldn't' stand up to such a hardcore binge of such powerful sake. Naruto interrupted Sakura from her musing with a bitter laugh.
"Last...one..." he mumbled, his speech more slurred than ever as he shook the contents of the bottle before pouring it into the cup. He stared at it for a few moments before a sake scented sigh. He brought the cup to his lips and, unlike the others, he drank in small thoughtful slips, pausing every now and again to breath out his nose, the fiery sake no longer burning his nostrils, his senses too far dulled. Soon not even a drop remained and Naruto, as if he had been waiting for this last cup, slammed his head on the counter, almost making one of the bottles fall and shatter. Sakura managed to grip the nozzle and place it on the counter before turning back to Naruto. Time to take him back home.
"How much?" Sakura asked, reaching for the money in her pouch, hoping she would have enough to cover it. Naruto could pay her back later...
"No need. He paid beforehand."
"Oh..." She felt discomfort at the thought that Naruto had planned on this whole binge from the beginning and sighed as she went to help him up. She slung his arm over her shoulder and easily hoisted him to his feet, only to be stopped by the bartender as he handed her a plastic bag. It was surprisingly heavy and she peeked inside to see another powder blue bottle.
"It's the last one I have right now..." The bartender said, "Only Jiraiya-sama ever ordered this drink," He glanced at Naruto, "And his apprentice would always be around...only drank it a few times though..." The bartender said with a bittersweet smile. Sakura nodded understandingly and shifted Naruto in a more comfortable position before setting off.
"Where to go..." Sakura mumbled to herself, glancing around, "I guess your house is closer..."
"Sakura-chan..."
"What is it Naruto?"
"Booze...-hi-" A hiccup threatened him but he forced it down. It was making his stomach feel queasy. "Booze...doesn't work when you're sad..." Sakura looked down at the ground, tightening her grip on Naruto and wishing it was enough to take the pain away. This was the last thing he had needed and hearing that he had wanted to just drink the pain away made her even a little afraid. A weird kind of fear that hung over like a dark ominous cloud and chilled her body in a way no cool rain air could. She winced a little though as Naruto began gripping her shoulder very tightly.
"Naruto?"
"Sakura..." His voice almost cracked and it sounded like he was biting back a sob, "Why...-hi-...Why do I keep losing my precious people...Sandaime...and Sasuke...and now even Ero-sennin...All alone...They're leaving me all alone." He let one sob escape him but immediately tried to force it back. He was trembling slightly and Sakura could feel her own heart start to break as salty water began welling in her eyes. She lift him a little, looking at him gently as they came to a slow stop.
"Naruto...look at me." His head bobbing slightly he looked at her with unfocused eyes, each holding back tears of their own, "You aren't alone okay...You aren't. Whatever happens, I'll be here. And Iruka, and Kakashi-sensei, and Yamato-taichou, and even that emotional hazard Sai. And so many more people-"
"But -hic- Damn...But Sakura...What if they all die? What if -hic- you die? What if I'm not strong enough to protect you? What if I'm not there...what if I hurt you? I-I-"
Sakura slowly let the bag slide to the ground, shaking a little by now. She then led Naruto to the ground, making sure she wasn't rough, and forced him to face her, "then...I'll make you a promise of a lifetime. No matter what happens, I swear I'll be by your side. No matter what. I make sure not to die...And you won't be alone. You'll always be able to rely on me."
"B-But-"
Sakura put a finger to his lips. Shaking her head and giving him a shy smile, "It's a promise of a lifetime!" he managed a small smile, still fighting tears that were begging to be released. But even in his dull and tired state, he realized that Sakura hod now pulled him into a hug, and he felt the softness of her hair, and the warmth of her body as she held his, and how welcoming her neck was. He trembled a little and a few tears were able to escape. And she hugged him tighter, her soothing breath tickling him, and he hugged her back with all he could. Hiccups began to escape again, but he did nothing to break the embrace until his stomach gave an uncomfortable churn.
"C'mon Naruto...let's head to your house." It was getting worse and worse...he finally shook his head.
"H-Hold on." He barely managed to push himself up and he unsteadily stumbled into a nearby alley. Sakura followed close behind until she heard a harsh retching sound. A few sickly moments later Naruto stumbled back to her. His clothes were a little wet from being on the ground, and he looked pale. He also wore a shamed expression and had trouble looking her in the eye. "I'm-I'm sorry. Sorry that you have to look after me..."
"Don't Naruto..." Sakura said, catching him as he tripped on his feet, "Trust me though...this is the only time I'll let you get away with something like this..." Thinking it would be a faster trip if she just carried him, she hoisted him onto her back in a piggyback fashion, "Besides, who says you're off the hook yet?" she added. She went over to the bog that lay abandoned on the ground and managed to slip it back into her hands, but was immediately tempted to smash it into the ground. "You can't...drink this away..." She mumbled, more to herself as she glared at the bag in her hand.
"I know...Sakura-chan..." He breathed into her ear having her heard her, "I just...miss him..."
"Naruto..." She took off, preparing him for a subtle jump as she fluidly moved from rooftop to rooftop, quickly reaching his apartment. She gently set him down him down near the door and whispered in his ear, "Naruto...where are your keys?"
"In my...right pocket."
"Kay." She reached over, trying to ignore her pounding heart as she realized just how close they were. But she nearly jumped out of her skin when Naruto reached for her hand and began rubbing gentle circles with his thumb, a weird smile on his face.
"Promise...of a lifetime...You'll stay by me...And I'll bring Sasuke back."
She smiled and managed to fish out the keys with her other hand, "I know Naruto."
"And then...you can be happy again Sakura-chan..."
Her smile faltered slightly but she quickly recovered. "I'm already happy Naruto...I mean...I have you don't I? And you always work so hard. But you keep making me remind you that we'll be bringing him back. Together."
"I wish...he knew...how much you cared."
Another pain in her chest...but it wasn't as bad as it used to be. Relieved be the sudden alleviation, she leaned nearer to Naruto and whispered, "He knew how much I cared...But he hasn't faced the full brunt of your will yet. You'll get you back...and I'll help in any way I can." She rested her head in his, a bittersweet feeling washing over her as she recalled those memories. She took a deep breath, "I care about you Naruto..." She paused, her heart pounding even more wildly, wondering if she should dare say what was on her mind. What she was sort of afraid to say...because of the way it start to would take her. "I care more about you...then I do Sasuke..." She felt his forehead rise in what could only be surprise and was surprised to find she was holding back a smile at his reaction. "So let's get you inside. Doesn't really show how I care if I leave you out here to sleep." She lifted him again and unlocked the door.
It was pitch black inside and she fumbled along the wall until she found the light switch, flipping it on and nearly being blinded by the sudden burst of life. Blinking rapidly, she helped a groaning Naruto to his couch, being careful to lay him on his side. Then she headed for the kitchen, setting the bottle of sake on the counter and throwing the now empty bag in the trash. She then headed for the fridge, the painfully bare fridge, and opted instead to search the cupboards. Eventually she found a packet of green tea and began to prepare some, peeking at Naruto every now and again to make sure he was okay.
When the tea finished she poured herself and Naruto a cup, wondering if the blond would even be able to drink it. The cup felt warm in her hands and she welcomed it, but noted that it wasn't the same as being close to Naruto. Unknowingly smiling at the thought, she grabbed his cup and walked back into the living room, surprised to see Naruto sitting up.
"Hey." She said, sitting down next to him. Sakura offered him a drink, which he quickly took, taking a few rapid sips. "Not so fast or you'll choke…"
"I know…Thanks Sakura-chan." He said, his eyes half lidded.
"No problem…" Just…Just let me help…She wanted to do more than just give him tea. She wanted to actually help him through this. To stand by him. Maybe…somehow…ease his pain. But another painful throb in her chest reminded her that there were some things she just couldn't do for Naruto…no matter how much she wished she could. But she could watch over him…and bring his drunk ass home when need be.
"Sakura-chan…"Naruto said drowsily, almost sensing her anxiety. His eyelids were nearly closed now, and it was taking all his energy to stay up, "I…love you…so much…you know that?"
Suddenly the room felt like an oven as the heat rose to her cheeks at Naruto's words, her breath catching uncomfortably in her throat. Her heart was racing, pumping blood almost painfully through her body, and she also couldn't pin a different painful, fearful, but excited and happy feeling swirling inside of her. All she knew was that it made her confused.
"Naruto…did you-" Sakura stopped when she felt a soft, warm pressure on her shoulder and she turned her head to see Naruto laying in her shoulder, completely passed out. "Mean that…Figures…" She trailed off, watching him. A part of her wanted to slug him but the other was just glad that he managed to get some sleep, alcohol induced or not. Sighing, she gently took his head in her hands and laid him on her lap instead, making sure to turn it to the side.
I'd prefer it if he didn't throw up on me…But better safe than sorry. She then resumed watching him, noting any twitch of the eyebrows, the slightest sniffle, and she wondered again what she could do for him. You're always suffering. Somehow you always seem to wind up hurt…why? Why…can't I help you…help you out of it?
Old thoughts, ones she had been trying to bury for years, resurfaced yet again, and she mentally kicked herself. She was supposed to be helping Naruto, not being selfish and doubting herself. There was no time for that.
There was a small whimper, making Sakura jump, and her eyes refocused on Naruto. His eyes were shut painfully tight, tears threatening their corners, and he seemed to be biting back sobs.
"Please…" he cried in a strangled whisper, his arms instinctively finding Sakura's waist, ""Don't-Don't leave me."
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, fighting her own tears now, she hugged him to her, gently whispering in his ears as she stroked his hair, "I won't leave you…I swear." Another quiet whimper escaped him but he soon fell into a rhythmic breathing pattern. Finally, he was really asleep. But Sakura made sure to watch him carefully, squeezing his hands whenever he became restless, despite the burning in her own eyes. This…this she could do for him.
……………………..
When Sakura awoke, it was to the sun burning red through her eyelids but an absence of warmth on her lap. Blinking her eyes against the glaring rays of the sun, she shifted herself to find a blanket wrapped around her. As her sensed slowly came back to her, she noticed the familiar smell of ramen coming from the kitchen.
"Oh, hey Sakura-chan." Naruto whispered, two cups of ramen in his hands.
"Hey Naruto…" Sakura said, feeling a little awkward as he laid the bowls down on the small table in front of them. The blond rubbed his temple gingerly but didn't voice the hangover headache he was suffering from. He wondered if the Kyuubi could…or even would…handle this kind of thing. She tried to smile at him despite the tension as she watched him grimace, "That's what you get baka!" Try not to get so wasted again!" She wanted to slap herself the moment the words left her mouth but Naruto gave her a fake smile.
"I'll try Sakura-chan" he fiddled with the bowl of ramen uncertainly before nervously handing it over to her, "I-I know you don't think it's the best thing but-"
Sakura took the bowl from his somewhat sweaty fingers and slurped a few of the noodles up. "Thanks Naruto." She said before digging back in. Naruto smiled, a real one this time, and dug into his own as he tried to ignore the pounding in his head. Sakura laid her own down, noticing how his brow furrowed, and placed a hand on his temple as it glowed green from her chakra. Naruto tensed beside her and stopped slurping his noodles, and Sakura felt her own body heat up, although she couldn't really explain why. Her heart began to beat faster, even after she moved her hand away and it wasn't helped when as an obvious blush came across his cheeks.
"I-I'm sorry…" Naruto mumbled unnecessarily, standing up and pointedly avoiding her gaze, "I-I guess I screwed up."
"Don't apologize…you're in pain…you have every right to-"
"But you shouldn't have to take care of me when I go off and-and do stupid things." Pain returned as the word left him, as if he had closed the door on some outlet as turned away. He didn't want to bother her, but Sakura would have none of that.
"No Naruto…" She said. She wanted to shout it at him, to make the message sink in, but it came out as a whisper. She was standing now as well, "Do you…remember last night at all?" She asked, torn between the hope of him remembering and not. He didn't turn back to her but bowed his head instead. Sakura hated this…hated how little she could do. Her throat tightened a little but she still managed to choke out the words that she felt just needed to be said.
"Because…because I do…" she took a small step forward, a miniscule movement that managed to leave her out of breath, "And…and I never want to see you like that again. Naruto…" her heart was beating so fast she was surprised it hadn't flown out of her throat yet, "If you ever feel like that, you should never hesitate to come to-to me. I want to be there for you…like all the times you've been there for me." Her face felt so hot now and it only intensified as she remembered what he had said after his alcohol binge, and wondered if she should mention it, but her instinct beat her brain to the punch, "And I-I know I haven't gotten everything sorted out but-but-I think I feel that way too."
She had said it…as good as said it…and there was no turning back. She, Haruno Sakura, admitted that a part of her, a big part of her, loved Uzumaki Naruto. She didn't know what made her say it, she never even really said the words, and a lot of things were so muddled up and confusing, but she knew this was true. Seconds ticked agonizingly by and whatever strength she may have had left in her legs was quickly fading. Finally, he cleared his throat.
"And Sasuke?" He was sad, uncertain, scared, hopeful, and elated all at the same time. And she could hear it all from those two words and the slight peek out of the corner of his eye.
Another deep breath and she took another few small steps toward him, her legs like wobbly jelly, "I-I thought I told you…Even if there's something…even if I want to bring him back…I still…care about you more…" Sakura felt shame wash over her, shame because she couldn't say, 'you have my whole heart', or 'I only love you'. She wanted to but-but-it was so confusing…
"Sakura-chan…" He was facing now, happy and sad, but mostly happy, much to Sakura's relief, "T-Thank you." Hesitantly, as if she would break, or break him, he held out his arms, reaching for her waist. She gave him a small, understanding smile and helped him reach his destination a little sooner before wrapping her own arms around him. He was so warm...so safe...
"Sakura-chan...and that promise..."
"It's a promise of a lifetime Naruto. Believe it."
She felt a giggle escape him and had to suppress her own. But soon something wet tricked down her neck and his grip on her tightened. Sakura closed her eyes and leaned closer to him, drawing him closer to comfort him. But the next time he spoke he sounded surprisingly calm, "I think...I think I get why it was Ero-sennin's favorite drink Sakura-chan...at least a little. I mean...if this could really happen..." Sakura smiled and thought of the bottle sitting on the counter, now glad she hadn't smashed it. Maybe they could enjoy some later...only a little, and together this time.
It had been his favorite drink. And holding on to each other...relishing the others warmth, they couldn't help but think, it was theirs now too.
Hope you all enjoyed my little one shot. I have more in mind, but we'll see how soon they come up. Well, please review and Fav. I love hearing what you all think!