1. Out of reach
"Please?"
"No Castle, I can't!" Kate let out an annoyed sight. It wasn't the first time she'd said those exact words in the last ten minutes.
"Why?"
"I don't have time" She had abandoned her paperwork about five minutes ago, knowing she wouldn't get any done with him distracting her, but right now she thought about just continuing and sending him home. With Captains order if necessary.
"Yea, I figured that. What I want to know is why?" He placed his elbows on the edge of her desk, chin resting in the palm of his hands, curious eyes fixed on hers'.
"Josh has that charity thing in the hospital and he asked me to accompany him"
Rick's gaze fell as his name left her lips. Of course she would choose Josh over him; after all he was her boyfriend. Why would she want to spend a whole weekend with him in L.A., when she had a perfect boyfriend waiting for her when she got home?
But sometimes it was just so easy to forget that she belonged to someone else, because she made it that easy.
Josh only ever existed when she was trying to back out of something Castle wanted her to do. Those were the only times she ever talked about him. Every other day it was like she didn't have a boyfriend at all.
He long stopped pretending he didn't have any feelings for her. He knew that she was, except from his daughter, the only woman in his life he'd ever love. She was everything to him. He just hoped that one day she'll see that and maybe even feel the same. Yes, maybe one day she'll open her eyes and see what they could have. But until then he just needed to continue reminding himself that she wasn't his.
Sometimes he wondered why it couldn't be him by her side. He had changed so much since he met her and did everything to make her believe they could be good together – but still she didn't want to be with him.
Still she rather wanted to be with Josh.
There were times he was sure she appreciated him and even showed some feelings for him but then there were the other times when he felt like a ghost by her side. Like he was there, able to watch her, to smell her, to feel her presence, but still not really there at all.
Those were such times. He had just wanted her to come with him to L.A. to check up on the last bits of the Heat Wave movie, before the official premier and suddenly – out of nowhere – her boyfriend was there again. He should have expected that, sure but it didn't make it less painful to be rejected once again because of Josh.
"Right, well I guess I'll see you tomorrow" he wasn't quite sure yet if he would see her tomorrow.
"Yea, I guess. Night, Castle" He got up from his chair, grabbed his jacked from the back of it and headed for the elevator. He didn't turn back once or said anything else; neither did she.
That's when he realized, that if she was that out of reach to him anyway, it didn't really matter whether he was there or not.