Okay guys, I've finally been able to make some time in my soul sucking schedule to pencil in some fanfic. So I'm gonna spin you guys a beautifully M rated yarn about dragon training and its occupational hazards. I just want to let you know that I am a HTTYD movie purist after seeing it 86.4352 billion times. I'm not going to make up some crazy shit that won't actually happen, no characters from the books, no 18 year old Hiccup and Astrid, although I may refer to the Outcasts from the TV show once or twice, I'm keeping my shit straight. Dragon riding Vikings in their early teens making mistakes, learning about life and getting more than a little frisky. So, enough griping from me, let's get down to business...

We find Hiccup, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Fishlegs in the great hall, playing a drinking game, each of them on their 17th or 18th tankard of mead, except for Tuffnut, who was feeling brave and decided to go for the hard cider instead... All of them way beyond being able to stand, or think...

"ey icchup? You illy rike Astrid dontcha? I can tell" Tuffnut slurs, attempting something that resembles a wink.

"Uh huh" Hiccup nods dramatically, getting a glazed look in his emerald eyes "she's so azaming, I would give anything to be with her" he flops his head down on the table, breathing in the oaky smell.

"hey!" Ruffnut butts in, "if you like her so much, why dontcha just kiss 'er!?"

"you think I should?" Hiccup asks, unsure of the idea, his head still resting on the table with his chestnut hair sticking out at all sorts of crazy angles.

"Hell yeah!" Tuffnut shouts

"He won't though" Ruffnut patronizes him, "he'd be so scared, he'd wet his pants!" Ruffnut knew all too well that Hiccup wasn't afraid of any dragon, but girls pretty much scared him shitless.

"maybe I will!" Hiccup retorts, the mead making him more agitated than usual.

"I triple dragon dare you to go plant one on her right now!" Ruffnut shouts back.

"Okay, whatever" Hiccup says nonchalantly, not realizing what he's saying "where is she?"

"working out in Lotsnout's masebent" a completely trashed Fishlegs finally chimes in.

"Well!?..." Ruffnut asks condescendingly.

"Fine! here I go" Hiccup says trying and failing to stand on his own.

"I gotcha bud" Tuffnut says and pushes Hiccup back off the bench. The fall is enough to sober Hiccup's body enough to stand, but his head is as foggy as ever as he wobbles his way out of the hall.

00000000

Astrid hated this. Sitting on Snotlout's bench press while he struggles through his 10th push up.

She wasn't actually paying attention to him, she never was. She would just sit there and think, mainly about Hiccup.

She really did like him...a lot...way more than she even thought she could ever like anyone. But she couldn't be with him, because...well...he was Hiccup the scrawny, fragile, self-depreciating boy, and she was Astrid, the strong, tough, beautiful, confident woman. Sure, Hiccup was a hero, but that's exactly why she couldn't be with him, she didn't want everyone to think that she was just dating him cause he saved the village. And that's what she had passed the kiss off as, a hero's reward. But she really wanted him to know that she genuinely cared about him, which is why she was dating 'Lout, so that she could learn to love Hiccup by being away from him. But she's just so damn conflicted, and it's killing her from the inside, and she just doesn't know what to do anymore!

"Did you see that, babe!?" Snotlout bursts her complicated thought bubble "1200 push ups! It's a new record!" Astrid rolls her eyes, knowing very well that she should take 2 zeros off the end of that number. Thor, she wish she was with Hiccup instead of this over inflated loser.

Snotlout was also sick and tired of the relationship, he was giving it all he could, but Astrid was never happy. He had let her feel his biceps, she got to watch him workout, he complimented her on her body, mainly her firm, shapely ass, he had even taken her on the back of his dragon, albeit, Hookfang did burst into flames mid-flight. But he really was trying as hard as he could, and it made him so angry!

Suddenly, Astrid hears a sound coming down the stairs, an alternating thump squeak that always precedes the arrival of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, speak of the devil, gods she loved his full name. As soon as his feet are visible, she can tell he's completely wasted. His feet are swaying and he almost misses a step with his good foot.

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" Snotlout shouts at Hiccup, who is now fully downstairs.

Ignoring 'Lout's outburst, Hiccup purposefully trudges onwards towards Astrid, and before she even has time to think, his lips are mashed against hers and she falls into a wonderful world of bliss that only Hiccup can take her to. Pulling him even tighter into her, she closes her eyes tight and weaves her hands into his soft hair. She wriggles her tongue into Hiccup's mouth, surprising him, but he doesn't fight back, and she moans as his tongue intertwines with hers. Just as she begins to explore this foreign mouth, Snotlout violently rips them apart.

His back to Astrid, 'Lout punches Hiccup across the jaw, sending Hiccup spinning to the ground. Hiccup clings to consciousness just long enough to hear Snotlout start screaming obscenities at Astrid before he tumbles into the abyss of unconsciousness.