"What are you thinking?" I asked him.

He looked down at me and pressed his lips against my forehead.

"I am thinking what will happen now that Iron Fey are not a secret," he said. "Part of me is glad to have it exposed, but the other half wonders what they are going to do about stopping them. With winter and summer always against one another it will be difficult to bring down the iron fey. And plus…they do not know how to fight them."

"You are mad because you are not there. You think this is a battle that you need to lead."

He sighed and only pressed his lips a little harder against my forehead.

"Sleep," he said.

"Has anyone ever been banished from the nevernever and returned?" I asked.

"Not that I am aware of," he said.

"Than we should not think of it right now. Maybe there is some way we can help them from here, but for the moment we need to figure out what we are going to do with ourselves."

"You are going home," he said.

"If my parents have not forgotten me. And what about you?"

"I do not know."

"You promised not to leave me. Whether we are in nevernever or not, you have to hold yourself to that promise. And wherever you o, I am going."

"Okay," he said.

I let myself relax in his arms. We were quiet again and eventually I was unable to keep myself from falling asleep.

I did not know how much time passed before I was conscious enough to roll over and realize that I was alone in the bed. I opened my eyes and saw Ash standing at the window, his back to me, as he looked up and stared at the rain falling from the gutters. His shirt was still off. His pale back nearly glowed in the darkness. I yawned, probably too loud, and he turned around and looked at me.

"Have you slept any?" I asked.

"No," he said.

He came over to the bed and sat down. I reached with my eyes closed to where I felt his weight sitting and touch his hand. He placed his on top of mine and stroked the back of my hand with his fingers as he was quiet. I could feel him staring at me.

"Do you think you will miss Nevernever?" I asked.

I opened my eyes. His question surprised me.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "But if they are unwillingly to make exceptions out dated rules, then what can we do?"

He gave a short laugh as he lifted my hand to his face and brushed his cheek across my palm.

"Banishment," I whispered. "Be merciful, say 'death;'
For exile hath more terror in his look,
Much more than death: do not say 'banishment."

I sat up and smiled at him. "How did you know that?"

He stared out the dark window and his face went blank with that cold abandonment. "She knew stuff like that. There are some things from the mortal world, inspired by us in the nevernever, that I always did find beautiful."

I scooted closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The feel of his cool skin, though pulsing with warmth from within, made me want to lean into him and never move. We could have been frozen as statues together and the fear would never have touched me if I knew his warm pulse was there near me.

"Do you feel like you are betraying her…by loving me?" I asked.

"At first…" I could see the troubled look on his brow. "No," he said with complete resolve. "There was one Ash that loved Ariella, and then there was the Ash that mourned her loss. But the one that loves you, the one that was banished from the nevernever…he is different."

I understood what it was like to feel like different people, and how each person could make decisions that the other would never have dreamed of.

I pressed myself closer to him. He wrapped an arm around me and held me to his side. My lips were close to his cheek and I pressed them lightly against his skin.

"Ash, kiss me," I said.

He did not even hesitate like he once would have. There was no look of repressed emotion on his face. He turned to me and pressed his lips against mine. He made a slight groan as his arm tightened and our hearts began to beat wildly against one another through our chests. There was only one moment of pause as he caught his breath. Then I was lying on my back again and he was above me. His lips moved from my own to my neck. His hands moved down my side and I felt their restraint as he stopped just at my waist. Was this happening? I thought any moment he would pull away but he did not. He found my lips again and I felt him press even closer.

"Meghan," he said in a raspy whisper.

"It is okay," I said.

I felt a nervous shiver run through my body. I felt his glamour pressing against me and even my own white aura, strange though it was, pressing back into him as if they were trying to break a wall keeping them apart. The feel of his smooth chest against me made me feel safe. He felt solid and completely real beneath my touch. He lifted me up, pulling off my shirt to reveal my bare body beneath. His smile made me even more nervous, but the trust in his eyes kept me from shielding myself from him.

I was lost—we both were—in the heat of the moment, until I felt a sudden jab that made me cry out. He pulled a few inches away from my face and looked at me. Suddenly, all the nervous feeling that one could feel in a situation came back to me. I kept my hand steady against his chest, but I was sure he felt the shivers running through my fingers.

"It's okay," he said softly. He kissed my cheek and the line of my neck, then found my mouth again as he continued on.

At first, all I could think about were the movies and how this did not compare to them at all. Thanks again Hollywood for not being realistic. But then, I was able to feel our glamour molding together and it was like a surge again going through me. As was clueless as to what I should have been doing, but Ash never once seemed to falter. I continued to kiss him and feel out bodies meshed together. All the pain, from everything, melted away and for a moment I felt empowered, strong, and like I was almost normal again. I let out a small gasp, just as Ash groaned, when I felt our auras, the icy blue glamour and my own white steel light, break through the barrier keeping them apart and they melted together into one wispy blue shield that surrounded us both.

I was slightly amazed by the colors for a moment, until Ash's rapidly beating heart brought me back to reality, and then I realized that it was done. I was no longer a virgin. Ash was breathing heavily, and my own heart was trying to slow down as I held him close to me.

"I love you Meghan Chase," he said softly in my ear.

He lay down on the bed next to me and I cuddled against his side as I buried my face in his neck. Even as he continued to slow his breathing his skin was still cool. Even if he was no longer the Winter Prince of Tir Na Nog his arms were still like bars around me. I felt a tear well up in the corner of my eye, thinking that I was never going to be able to be happier than I was at this moment.

"I love you too my fallen prince."