12 Inches in Between
I've always liked him. I just never thought it was anything more to it than being friends, or how much I actually cared about him. There was never an infliction of my attraction towards him even after he came out to everyone on the team. Not even Tsukishima cracked a joke about it. Not then or afterwards.
Our team just smiled nervously and said it didn't matter. That they would continue to treat him as if nothing was different.
I could see how uncomfortable Hinata looked after telling all his teammates that he was a trans boy. It was obvious how much courage and patience it took for him. But there was also a spark of relief in his orange eyes; a sense that a heavy load was taken off his shoulders.
It's been a month now. And although this was out in the open, I could see the distance he was putting between him and everyone. Especially between him and me.
I didn't like this new found empty space between us.
"Tobio, are you even listening to me you idiot?" The orange haired boy pouted.
I was sitting on the concrete outside of school. The sidewalk wasn't too comfortable; I wasn't even sure how I got there.
"Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening"
Hinata grunted, "What's wrong?" He was about a foot away from me. He just squinted his eyes, almost looking impatient.
What an odd and complex question.
I looked at him and shook my head.
There's that foot of space separating us again.
"I'm just tired from practice." The sun was beginning to set. I then realized I had ran out of the gym to get some fresh air. I hadn't realized how far I had gotten.
"There has to be something wrong. I called you an idiot and you didn't even get irritated."
I smirked, "I guess that is weird for me."
The short boy slowly came over and sat next to me, now half a foot away. He was staring up at the sky, but there was a frown on his face. His eyes looked so sad.
"How come you've been keeping your distance from everyone?" I just blurted out whatever was on my mind. I must be crazy.
He turned his face over to me, and furrowed his eyebrows, "what are you talking about?"
I cleared my throat and sighed. I could see my breath. "It's kind of hard to explain." No it wasn't. I just didn't want to say something like 'you've been distancing yourself from me and I don't like it!'
He laughed, but it felt forced and painful. "I'm the same I've always been." He smiled. Man does he have an incredible smile. But I felt guilty to admire something that I knew wasn't even real.
There was silence after that. I just couldn't find the words to say anything. Well, it wasn't like I didn't know I just knew that it wasn't the time or place for it.
Hinata stood up from the ground and glanced over at me, "I'm going to head home now, are you going to come with me or not?" He offered.
I was a little shocked since he hadn't invited me to walk him home since that day. I just stared at him in awe until he cleared his throat, blushing a little. "Are you just going to sit there and stare at me you weirdo?" He mumbled.
I shook my head to bring myself back to reality. A small pink tint painted my cheeks; I could feel it. "Hehe sorry. Yeah, let's go." He led the way as I hopped back to my feet.
The temperature outside was dropping drastically. I was glad to have such a heavy jacket and scarf on. The sky was almost black now. Specs of white were scattered throughout the darkness, but they were small and very few.
They are too separated by distance…
I glimpsed over at Hinata, and saw how he shivered from the cold. I couldn't stop myself from sighing in annoyance.
"Wow dumbass, you couldn't bother to wear jacket today?"
He glared over at me, "I f-forgot t-to-o brin-ng one!" He stuttered.
"Here"
He looked at me as if I was crazy. "I can't take that, Tobio."
"There's no arguing." I placed my scarf around his neck. "That should keep you at least a little bit warmer." I smiled wholeheartedly at him.
The orange haired boy put his hands on the scarf to hold it closer to his face. "…Thank you…" he spoke at almost a whisper.
I chuckled a little, "No problem dumbass."
"I'm glad to see you're acting like your usual self…" he clenched my scarf. There was almost a worried tone in the way he spoke.
"I'm sorry to have worried you. I'm fine, really." I knew this was out of character for me, but I just couldn't help it.
Hinata stopped walking beside me. He just stopped, dead in his tracks.
"There you go again, acting different. Is it because of me…?"
I knew exactly what he meant by that question and I didn't like what he was implying.
"Can we not do this here?"
"So it is because of me." He laughed like he was trying not to cry, "I knew this would happen. People would treat me differently because of who I am…I knew it…" He grabbed ahold of his thin shirt and held it tight as if it was the only thing stopping him from snapping.
"Hinata…it's not like that." I wasn't acting different because of a small detail like being transgender, but rather that fact he was pushing me away and I didn't know what to do. I could have always been forceful, but that has never worked in the past.
I just guess my feelings for him clouded my better half.
"Then what is it then! You've been acting this way for a few weeks now… and I need to know why." Tears began to form into his eyes.
I didn't like this.
I hated seeing him in such distress.
My feet stepped back and moved towards him. My arms wrapped around him without hesitation. I couldn't believe my body moved before my brain could think.
"Don't weep, Hinata…" I held the back of his head. He was so short it was adorable.
"W-what are you doing!?" He shouted while trying to pull away. I didn't let him.
"Nothing has changed, Hinata."
He said nothing. All I could hear was his frantic breathing. I tightened my hug with him. He was so cold.
"That day you told our team you were transgender," I could feel the tightening of his small frame, "I didn't look at you any differently, I truly did not."
I wish I would have said this sooner to him.
I could hear his struggle to say something. I loosened my grip and looked at him; I blushed a little when I saw his slight awkwardness.
"I love you," my face burned with embarrassment, "that's what I meant by nothing has changed."
Hinata glanced up at me with pink cheeks, "Really?"
"Of course, you idiot! Why else would I be saying these embarrassing things?" My face grew even redder.
He chuckled. "I didn't think you'd ever like me…especially after…y'know." That familiar sad expression came back.
"Is that why you've been distancing yourself from me?"
He stared right into my blue eyes and nodded. Tears started to form again as he spoke, "I'm so happy though." He grinned with his perfect smile, "I've liked you for so long and I was just so afraid, but now I—," he was cut off.
My lips meet his. He kissed me back and wrapped his arms around my neck. The moment seemed to last forever.
As our lips parted, Hinata mumbled out "I love you so damn much..."
I quickly hugged him tight again. Why is he so damn cute?
"Kageyama what are you doing! I can't breathe!" He muffled into my jacket.
I eventually let go to see a very annoyed Hinata, but suddenly, before we could argue over something pointless, we both gleamed up at the sky.
Beautiful white particles started to fall down. And all I could see was that black sky covered in white. All I could think is that the space between the sky and Hinata, was no more. That gap no longer existed as I held his hand tightly.