Thrown Out

by furryalchemist

This is a slice of life story about a teenager who is comming of age in a society much like our own. It has love, hate, regret, forgiveness, and a deep desire to find ones place in the world as well as ones family.

How would I have known that it would end up like this. My mind races from one thought to another wondering what I have done wrong. I pull my jacket tight around me trying to close off as much of the cold rain as I can. My fur is drenched by the rain and my tears as I finally turn and slowly slump down the street. I leave all of my possessions on the curb and I don't even look back. I trudge down the street in a daze while the tears are still flowing from my eyes.

"What's the point?" I suddenly scream out to no one in particular. I turn and flop down on a bench at the near by park and it feels as if the rain increased to match my mood, though it was my tears that were weighing me down.

"What did I do wrong?" I mumble to myself and then rest my head in my paws and close my eyes. A stranger walks up and in a friendly voice asks me if I am okay.

"Excuse me sir, are you okay? Do you need a place to dry off?"

Red eyed and gasping from the sobbing I look up at the man that was standing there with a bright red umbrella. He was dressed like a preacher and had his paw stretched out towards me.

"I saw you walk by while I was standing on the steps over there." He points towards where I came from.

"I may not be able to help you with your problem, but you can at least dry off. You don't want to catch a cold."

I stare at him for a short moment as I thought about what was said to me. I finally nod to him and reach up to take his paw. He leads me towards the church on the corner and inside. The preacher finds a towel and leads me to a bathroom where I walk in and see myself in the mirror. For the first time I feel different as I stare at the reflection staring back. At first I hated the creature staring back, but that soon fell away to pity. It felt like hours passed as I stood there when his voice echoed in my ears again, although it might have been the large bathroom.

"Damn it Marty! You are going to bring shame upon this family Leave here and never come back." those words will forever haunt me.

The tears started falling again and I collapse onto my knees where I struck the floor with my fists. The preacher came running in and kneels next to me. I look up at him and all that I could get out was a weak "help me."

He picks me up off of the floor and begins to take off my soaked shirt.

"Get cleaned up first Marty and then we can talk, or sit. Whatever you want to do, okay?"

All I could do was slowly nod my head.

"Good, now I am going to find you some dry cloths, so I will be right back."

I nod again and look towards the shower. He closes the door behind him as he leaves. I finish getting undressed and step into the shower. I finally start shivering from the cold rain outside, but I quickly warm up as the hot water pours over my body. I don't spend much time cleaning though, but I do stand there until I was entirely warmed up. I could still taste the salty tears in my mouth. I sit down and curl up into a ball as the severity of my situation comes apparent to me. I jump when the preacher speaks up to let me know that some cloths are sitting on the stool.

"Thanks Father… I'll be out in a little bit."

"Sure Marty, take your time. I will be in my office. Do you remember where that is?""Yeah…" I choke back some more tears.

I hear the door close, so I turn off the water and shake off as much water as I can before stepping out of the shower. A clean towel was hanging on a hook nearby, and I grab it to dry off with.

"I miss my dryer." I mumble to myself.

The cloths didn't fit to well, but they are quite a bit better than my wet ones. I try not to let it bother me because Father Fox was kind enough to find them for me.

I linger in the bathroom for a little longer staring into the mirror and trying to understand my father's reason for acting the way he did. I shuddered into tears again, and Father Fox opens the door and walks over to give me a shoulder. All I could do is let him guide me somewhere. I could tell by the scent that we were in his office. He guided me into one of the worn leather couches in the corner. He takes the other one after letting someone know that he is going to be busy for a little while.

"I'm sorry if I am bothering you Father."

"It's no bother Marty. No bother at all." He leans forward to touch a comforting paw to my arm.

"Do you want to talk?"

"I don't know."

"What happened? Why are you not at home?"

I sat there for a moment still wondering what happened. I deeply desired this to be a horrible dream then his warm paw brought me back and all I could get out was one small phrase.

"My dad threw me out."

"Ohh…"

I began to cry again and tried to keep up with wiping the tears away, but it was pointless.

"I told them about James."

"James?"

"You don't know James. He lives over by the ocean on the west coast."

"What about James?"

"I feel so out of place anymore. I don't know what I am doing or where I am going. What am I going to do?" I choke and cough on the salty taste and then collapse my head into my paws where I cover my eyes in an attempt to close out the world.

"I am sorry that you have been treated so badly. Would you like me to talk to him?"

I look up at the preacher. "There is no talking to him. He is too stubborn and pigheaded. He can't see anything beyond his own two eyes."

"What was it that you told him for him to act this way?"

I think for a moment fighting back the tears, and I feel his warm paw touch my arm again. I let out a long sigh, and then ever so slightly I whisper my little secrete.

"I'm gay…" I tried to say it too quiet, but his silence told me that he herd what I said.

"I see. Do you know this for sure?"

I look up at him as his words echo in my ears.

"That was exactly what he said!"

He sat there quietly. I could tell that he was searching for something to say.

"I'm sorry… Marty, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

I calm down a little bit, but you could still cut the tension with a butter knife.

"It's not your fault Father, I am confused and my mind can't take all of this incessant thinking I've been doing. I mean I cant believe that he did that… tonight of all nights."

"We have a place for you to sleep here tonight. I don't plan to send you out in the cold rain again. You can trust me Marty. I might be able to help you."

"I'm asking too much Father. You shouldn't have to deal with my problems."

"You forget Marty, I am a sheppard so I must help others who need it."

I silently sit there staring off towards nothing in particular, and sincerely reply to his offer.

"Thank you Father, and yes."

"Yes?"

"I am sure that I'm gay. I have known for years, but I was scared to tell my family."

"But you told them anyway?"

"I didn't mean to. My dad went through my room and found out himself. When I got home from work he was sitting there waiting for me with the whole family. He presented his findings to me and gave me an ultimatum."

"What did he ask you to do?"

"He said that there was no way that a son of his could ever be gay. That it is a terrible sin and anyone who doesn't think so would go to hell."

The preacher sat there intently looking at me while nodding at the story I told him.

"He told me that we would be willing to overlook this if I stopped all of the evil and confess all of my sins. I wasn't going to deal with this, and went to my room. What I found was that my room was completely empty. When I ran downstairs, and asked for this invasion of my privacy. That was when he grabbed me and threw me out of his house.""He did that?"

"What's worse is that before he opened the door he gave me one more lecture."

I paused for a moment afraid of the words I was about to speak.

"What did he say?"

"I figured that you would take this road of evil and I packed up your things and threw them out on the curb. You didn't notice because I put a tarp over it all. I am not going to allow a queer to stay in my house."

"Then he threw you out?"

"Not yet, though I tried to plead my case and even mentioned that it is raining out and I could get terribly sick. He didn't care though and I tried to fight back, but he knocked me upside my head and then kicked me down the front steps. I stood up quickly as he followed me out and rips the tarp off of my things. He then turns to me and as if I was trash he says to me 'Damn it Marty! You are going to bring shame upon this family. Leave here and never come back.' I don't know how long I stood there, but I guess that it was long enough. Then you found me in the park."

"So he kicked you out of the house just like that?"

I let out a whole body yawn which was followed by a growl from my stomach.

"Hmmm, you're tired, and hungry. Follow me to the kitchen and let us get you something to eat then you are off to bed. You have had a long day, and we can discuss this further later. That is if you want to."

"Thank you father, but I just want to go to sleep and get this day behind me."

"Oh, okay, than follow me."

The bed I slept in that night seemed oddly comfortable, but the dreams were horrible. I don't suppose I got a wink of sleep that night. What I didn't know was that during the night. Father Fox and some of his friends moved all of my things to the church to dry off. I don't know when I woke up that morning, but when I did one of the nuns knocked on the door.

"Marty? Are you awake?"

"Mmmm, yeah give me a second please."

"Okay."

I get up and put on the cloths that I was wearing the day before. I open the door and a small red squirrel was standing there smiling.

"Good morning," she said with a smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"I feel better then I did last night, but I didn't sleep well."

"Well maybe you will sleep better tonight.""Maybe…"

"Follow me Marty, breakfast has just been prepared and Father Fox sent me to get you."

"That's kind of you to think of me. I don't plan to stay long, as I don't want to be a burden."

"You are not a burden Marty, just an individual that needs a little help is all. You can stay as long as you need to."

We didn't say much else to each other until we arrived in the dinning room. It was easy to say that I felt incredibly nervous there because I haven't been to the church in years. I stopped going when work started scheduling me on Sundays. I don't blame it on work really because it is my fault for not taking the time to go.

"How are you feeling today Marty?"

"Okay… I think… Father Fox."

"That's good to hear. What are you plans for the day?"

"I don't know, I suppose I should go and get my things and figure out which ones are no good anymore."

"Well, we kind of took care of that for you already.""What!" Surprised I stood there confused.

"I wasn't going to let it sit there all night. You wouldn't have anything left."

"I'm sorry Father you didn't have to do that."

"It's okay Marty. You needed the help."

"Thanks.""Well, that's enough for now, let's eat."

I was asked to give thanks to the meal before we ate. I was unsure of what to do, but I stumbled through it well enough. After breakfast I spent the entire afternoon going through my drenched things and weeded out the damaged stuff from the stuff that was still usable. It surprised me that my computer was okay so I dried out a few things and turned it on. I connected to my wireless router at home and quickly sent a message to James that I was okay. I didn't tell him about what had happened the day before, but we did talk for a while. Most of the small electrical things were useless now so the preacher took them for the church. I guess a few of the folks that stay here know how to fix stuff like that. Towards the end of the day an envelope was dropped off for me. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it was from my family. More importantly it was from my dad. I sat there alone with the envelope sitting on the bunk in front of me. I was terrified by it knowing was inside, yet too afraid to read the words. Eventually I built up enough courage to open it. It began with

"Dear son, I am sorry about what your father has done…

I cried myself asleep for the 13th night in a row. I was so depressed that even my dreams reflected my emotions. My final thoughts that night were that I had to get away from here. For once I was lucky that night. I didn't dream anything and for once I was able to sleep the entire night.

"You're up early today Marty."

"Yeah… I couldn't stay in bed."

"So… How much are you going to leave behind?"

"What… Oh… How did you know?"

"I've been there Marty. I know the signs.""You ran away from home?"

"I did, though it was a long time ago. I was only a teenager such as you are. When I realized I was at my darkest was when I joined the church and gave my life to god. I have been clean and alive ever since."

"So then you know where I'm going?"

"My guess is that you are going to give your friend James a visit and see if you can stay with him awhile. Am I right?"

"I wasn't really sneaky at all these past couple weeks was I?"

"My dear cub, you don't expect me to reveal "my secretes" do you?"

I lightly chuckle with him for a minute. "I suppose not. Can I ask you something?"

"Don't worry Marty. If you ever need my help don't ever hesitate to call me. Are you going to need any help?"

"Well, all of the stuff that broke made room for just about everything else in my car. I saved up lots of money so I should be okay. Could you keep an eye on my family for me? I still love them, and maybe someday they will accept me. I just can't wait around here for it."

"Then I suppose that this is goodbye."

"Yeah, thank you so much for all your help. I don't think I would have made it through the last couple weeks without your help and guidance."

"That's why I am here fuzz ball."

I walked out of the church for the last time and sat in my car for a few minutes as I read over the letter from my mom again.

"Dear Son,

I am sorry about what your father has done. Believe me when I tell you that I still love you, and so does your dad. I don't think that it would be wise for you to come home yet. Actually, I am giving you this two thousand dollars to stay away for now. It pains me to do this, but I have no choice in the matter. You know your father. Please have a happy life if you can.

Love

Mom

P.S. Please keep in touch."

My eyes water over and a lump swells up in my throat. Then I grab the lighter that Father Fox gave to me and lit up the letter up and tossed it out the window. I turned the car over and drove off to my friend as the letter turns to ash on the ground. It was a long drive and I had a lot to think about. I stopped overnight a little more then half way there and slept in the car. I didn't want to pay for a room. I woke up half way through the night by the state trooper.

"Is there a problem officer?"

"Why are you sleeping in your car? Don't you know that there is a hotel just down the highway there?"

"I'm sorry officer I started nodding off and thought it was safer if I pulled over and slept for an hour. You see here I set my alarm so that I wasn't here too long."

"Well, I suppose it is safer this way, but still you cannot sleep here."

"I understand officer. I'll move along unless there is something else?"

"No, nothing more, move along. Oh and don't let me catch you doing this again okay?"

"Sure, and I'm sorry, and thank you."

I wasn't sleeping well anyway, so I turned the car on and drove to the next gas station and filled up the car and stretched my legs. I walked around the station for a little bit and then downed a couple cappuccinos. The rest of the trip was uneventful and the sun felt warm on my face. I opened up my car and turned up the radio for the final leg of the trip. I was actually feeling happy for once, and the next think I know I had pulled up to the house that I will call home for a little while (hopefully). My mind was racing and I couldn't wait to see my grizzly bear friend again.

We met online a few years back and I visited him twice a year since we met. I always felt so comfy around him and safe as well. James was waiting on the front porch when I pulled up and stood there on the top stoop smiling down at me. Words were too hard to come by when I saw him. All I could do when his arms folded around me was cry into his fur. I didn't stop until we were sitting on his couch and I was sipping from a cup of water.

"Feel better teddy bear?"

Teddy bear… I longed for the time I herd those words spoken from him again. My mind was numb from the past couple weeks and all I wanted to do was fall asleep in his arms.

"I do feel better cuddly bear thank you."

"So, what happened that brought you out here so suddenly?"

That night was the first night in a long while where I felt safe and secure. My dreams were pleasant for once and I was able to sleep the entire night. I told James the entire story, and he welcomed me into his home to stay. He held me all night and I sobbed into his fur until sleep took me. I had slept in till almost noon the following day. The room was as I had remembered, and all I could smell is his wonderful scent. The balcony window was open and the warm air was blowing the curtains into the room. The sunlight seemed almost too bright for me to open my eyes, so I lay there smiling uncontrollably when I caught a sniff of James walking back into the room. I instantly relax my entire body and pretend that I am still sleeping.

"You awake my teddy bear?"

I don't answer, but I do try to fight off a smile and a giggle. He giggles at me then sits on the bed next to me.

"You are awake. Don't try to pretend with me." He reaches over and pokes my side which sends my body into a spasm and I giggle at him.

"Hey cuddle bear, how are you this morning? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I took the week off to get you settled silly bear. WE still have to unpack your car and find a place for your things."

"Oh, yeah, that's right." I grab his paw and lick his palm ever so lightly. "Your too nice to me James."

"Well, I love you and that's all there is to it. Besides you would do the same for me if the situation was reversed."

"I wouldn't even have to think about it." I lick his paw again and touch it to my face. The warm touch melts me almost back into slumber when he sits on me rousing me again. It took us almost three hours to get out of bed. The rest of the day we went through my things and tossed out a lot of it that had residual mildew. Most of my cloths were ruined, and as well as my TV, DVD player, and the alarm clock that I had thought I repaired. Then he helped me clean out my car and we slacked off the rest of the afternoon.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"I don't even want to think of it cuddle bear. My mind has been fried from all the thinking, and crying. I think I will spend the week just enjoying your company, and then next week I will start filling out applications. Sound good?"

"That sounds terrific, but I have a different idea."

"And what is that cuddles?"

"It just so happens that someone in our maintenance crew is quitting. I could put in a good word for you if you want?"

"You would do that?"

"I would do anything for you my teddy bear."

"I was lucky when I met you, you know that?"

"On the contrary I think I was the lucky one."

I chuckle to myself. "Are we going to have this argument again? You know that I always win."

"Not if I have anything to do with it." We were strolling through the park when we started this and he ended it when he tackled me and pinned me to the ground.

"Not fair, not fair!" I giggle and try to fight back, than he starts licking, biting, and kissing me.

"Who said anything about being fair?" He laughs his evil laugh, and then kisses me deeply.

We kiss for a long while until we notice that some people were watching us. His showmanship gets the better of him and after we both get up he takes a bow. Of course I follow his lead and bow as well. Then he puts a strong arm around me and holds me next to him as we trod out of the park blushing the entire time.

We make it back to his place and relax on the back porch sipping some lemonade and counting the bees in the garden.

"So, where are we going tonight?"

"It's a surprise teddy bear."

I love it when he calls me that.

"Oh, I see, so are we going to change first or go as we are?"

"Well, we need to get cleaned up first. You are all sweaty bear, and I need to wash you."

"Wash me huh, sounds like it's going to be a long shower." I wink at him and nudge him with my elbow.

We get cleaned up like we planed, then we left for some other activity tonight. He was acting suspicious, but I would do whatever he wanted. Of course the blindfold was necessary for the surprise. The car ride was awkward, but I held onto his paw the entire trip.

"You trust me teddy bear?"

"I trust you more then anything."

When I could see again we were standing in front of a restaurant that I knew all too well.

"Isn't this the restaurant where we had our first date?"

"Yes it is teddy bear."

"Wait, what is today?"

"March 20th, why?"

I place a paw over my muzzle and begin to blush.

"You remembered."That day was in fact the anniversary of when we first met each other. I stumbled upon the chat room 7 years ago this very day and met the grizzly bear that I would fall head over heals in love with.

"I don't know what to say cuddle bear. Though with all the mess I went through I forgot, so I don't have a gift for you."

"Coming here to be with me is all that I need to get through life teddy bear. As long as I have you with me, I will be the richest bear in the world."

Still blushing I couldn't contain myself and kissed him right there in front of everyone that was around us.

"Oops, sorry cuddles, I couldn't contain myself."

"Its okay teddy bear, I love you too." He smiles and blushes a little as we enter the restaurant and get ushered to one of the party rooms where a crowd had gathered.

"SURPRISE!"

"Whoa, what is this about?"

"We all herd that you are moving out here to stay and so we all wanted to throw you a bash to welcome you to your new home."

I look over to James and shake my head with a huge grin on my face.

"You sneaky bear you. You are so gonna get it when we get home."

"Oh, no, help me help me." James wanders off into the crowd shaking hands and hugging his friends. I was overwhelmed, but was happy since I was surrounded by critters and people who love me for me. The entire night went pretty well, and I had so much fun. It was so great to see all of my friends that I have made since I met James, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life out here with my new family.

It is hard to explain, but it started about three or four months after I moved in with James. I was not sleeping well, and the nightmares were keeping me up.

"Pant… Pant… Pant…"

"Another one teddy bear?"

"Yeah, I don't know what is going on, but they seem to be getting worse."

"What was this one about?"

I roll over and rest my head on his chest. His nostrils gently breathe on my crown, and I close my eyes.

"All of my family was crying and depressed. I walk up into the house and ask them what is wrong. At first they ignore me like I wasn't even there, but then one by one they all start lashing out at me. They all say the same thing. "It's your fault Marty." Then one by one they turn their backs on me and begin to disappear. I rush from one to the next trying to keep them here, but it is hopeless and they all vanish."

"So, they like disappear… like into thin air?"

"Yeah, but in my dream I get so scared and the loneliness fills me so full that I climb to the top of that church I told you about and jump off."

"You kill yourself in the dream? Do you know why?"

"In my dream, it feels like I did an evil, or wicked thing. The only problem is that I don't know what that is."

"My poor teddy bear. Maybe you should call your family and try to talk to them. It could be just a separation thing."

"Maybe, I just don't think I could take any more negative emotion from them."

"It won't hurt you to ask fuzzy. Besides I can tell that you miss them. It would probably be good for at least your mom to hear from you."

"I suppose your right. I hate it when you are right."

He licks the top of my head and squeezes me tight wrapping both arms around me, and I drift off to sleep again. My thoughts were different this time and my thoughts were with my mother and my siblings. Do they miss me? Would they talk to me?

The next morning I awoke early like usual leaving a sleeping bear cuddled up to my pillow. I get breakfast started and instinctively grab the phone and dial up my parent's phone number.

"Hello?"

"Cindy? Is that you?"

"Marty? What happened to you? Where did you go?"

"Calm down sis, calm down. I'm okay, really."

"MOM! Come here! So then why did it take you this long to call?"

"Hard to say… thought the family hated me… didn't want to hear it from everyone again."

"Well, if it matters to you at all, I still love ya bro, and so does the rest of our siblings. How is James treating you?"

"(giggles) How did you guess?"

"I kind of figured since you talked about him so much. Remember I am in college, I know things."

"(giggles some more) Yeah I suppose you are one smart cookie."

"Here's mom, I will talk to you later okay bro? Glad to hear from you."

"Yeah, love ya sis… Mom?"

"I'm here Marty…"

"How are things? Is dad doing okay?"

"Everything is semi back to normal around here. Your dad wanders around oblivious to all the changes in the past few months."

"So, he is doing okay? How about you?"

"Yeah, as stubborn as he is he's doing just fine. I am doing okay to. Your siblings keep me pretty busy. I also picked up an extra shift down at the diner."

"That's great mom you have been wanting more hours."

"Yup, did you talk to the priest down the street? He stops by now and again as of late. He tells me that he is venturing out into the neighborhood, but I thought you might have had something to do with that."

"Well, Father Fox and his church took me in for a couple weeks to help me out. It was shortly after that when I moved out here. I kind of asked him to keep an eye on you all. Make sure that everyone is alive and well."

"Your sister told me that you probably moved out to live with James. Tell me, is he treating you okay?"

"He is one in a million. I would bet that the two of you would get along okay. Speak of the devil here he is."

"I can let you go if you want?"

"I want to talk to you all a little longer if I can mom just give me a second please."

He kisses me softly and I finish fixing his plate.

"Got your family on the phone?"

I nod slowly and smile weakly.

"Good, it's about time you called them."

I smirk at James and went back to the phone call.

"Marty?"

"Yeah mom."

"We have to get going. The kids have to get to school, and I have to get to work. You can call on the weekends if you want to. I will try to make sure your dad doesn't answer the phone."

"So, he is still mad at me huh."

"Yeah, a little, just don't worry about it and take care. We all love you here, and don't worry about us. We will be okay."

"Okay, love you mom. Tell the rest that I love them all."

"Okay, goodbye."

I hang up the phone and let out a long sigh. I fix a plate and sit down next to my cuddly bear and some tears well up in my eyes.

"Feel better teddy bear?"

"I do actually, but I am still going to cry."

He tilts his head as he holds me a long while. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe a little easier. My heart aches for my family still, but it belongs to my grizzly bear. Without him I would be in a world that would be best forgotten. We finally finish breakfast and put cloths on. Work needed to be done, and I still had a long list from the day before to finish. The rest of the day was slow and boring. My mind wandered from my job and I couldn't help but feel relieved. My coworkers could even tell that I was feeling better. At lunch I met up with James and we ate at the café across the street. He told me about his day so far, and I went over mine. We flirted dangerously with each other and then had to get back to work. The rest of the day all I could think about was him. I finished up early that day with my list of chores, and got started on the tasks for tomorrow. Finally quitting time was upon me and I danced to the lobby where my big burly bear was waiting for me.

"Hi there."

"Hey, Marty how was your day."

We had to be professional at work, so we could only call each other by our real names.

"Not bad James, I was on cloud nine until lunchtime, then my mind was in the gutter after that."

I winked at him and then turned my back as we approach the car. He slaps my butt and unlocks the door with his keyless remote and opens my door."What a gentleman you are." I pat his head and get in. He sits down in the drivers seat and turns towards me.

"What is it cuddly bear?" I bat my eyes at him and smile shyly.

"Why do you do that? You know it is mean to flirt with me when we get in the car. I can't do anything to you until we get home."

I smile again and giggle a little to.

"I have been holding it in all day cuddles. I…mmm"

He pulls me to him and kisses me deeply as he caresses my ear. I close my eyes and slide a paw to the inside of his leg.

"Now that's not nice cuddles. I am so turned on at this point."

"Payback sucks doesn't it, but of course you could suck all the way home if you want."

I smile and ponder it, but decided that would be a bad idea seeing that we have so far to go.

"As fun as that sounds cuddles. I think that we should wait until we get home, or at least out of the parking lot."

He looks around and a group of office workers just stepped outside the building.

"Yeah, you're right teddy bear, let's go home."

We get home quickly and it doesn't take long for us to pay extra attention to each other. I made us dinner about two to three hours later and the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"…"

There was only silence on the phone.

"Hello, is anyone there?"

"click…" the phone went dead and the dial tone took over.

"That was odd."

"What was odd teddy bear?"

"Well the phone rang just now, but no one was there when I answered."

"That is odd. What does the caller ID say?"

"Let me look."

I stared at the tiny screen and blinked my eyes. For some reason my mind wasn't connecting to well as the phone number went through my mind.

"Well, who called?"

"I think it was my family, but I am not exactly sure. I mean I have talked to them almost every weekend since I called them the first time. Why wouldn't they talk to me?"

"They could have accidentally called you… You could try calling them back."

I grab the phone and dial it. My mind races as the thought that maybe it was dad who called me.

"Hello?"

I paused for a moment as the voice echoed in my ear.

"Can I ask who is calling?"

"Umm… hi dad."

"Marty…"

There was a long pause and I could swear that I could hear him crying. I sat over by James and he hugs me warmly.

"Dad, are you still there? Is there something wrong?"

"I'm sorry Marty…"

The silence between his words was practically killing me.

"Sorry? Why? I'm the one who should be sorry. I was the one who lied to you."

"No, I shouldn't have treated you that way…"

I burst into tears as these words penetrate my ear.

"I know we haven't talked in almost a year now. You just took me by surprise. I reacted horribly and your mom has been on my case ever since. I have been talking to that preacher from the church down the street and he has helped me. Are you truly okay Marty?"

Between sobs I reply as best that I can, but I gain my composure the more I talked."Yeah… I am okay… I am just so… happy… I have been afraid of what you thought of me since you found out and stuff."

"Yeah, about that, we should probably talk about that. Are you coming home at all?"

I had to think about this. I loved my grizzly bear, but I also love my family. I started a life with James out here by the ocean and it would be hard to go back.

"I don't suppose I will, but I could come back to visit. Is that okay?"

"Well, living in the big city as you are. You probably have a job and a new life. I wouldn't want you to sacrifice that for us."

"Its not that I don't want to dad, but your right I have a great job, and someone that loves me."

I smack my head as the last words fall out of my mouth. I could sense his uncomfortable reaction, but I was surprised by his words.

"I understand son… Your mom and I thought you would do this and so we are planning a trip out there to make sure you are doing okay… That is if you are okay with that?"

I pause for a moment wondering what went on the past 12 months back at home. How could my father change so quickly.

"Umm, I would love for you to come out here and visit."

James looks at me all serious like and mouthed the words "are you sure that is a good idea?" I wasn't sure myself, so I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed "I don't know."

"Good, then we will be out next month and I expect you to pick us up at the airport. Your mom will call after we plan it so that you can plan for our visit."

"Umm, okay, umm, so then I will see you in a month?"

"That sounds about right Marty. I have to go though. Sorry I didn't talk to you sooner son."

"No, its okay, I am sure that you had a lot to think about… Umm, I love you."

"Goodbye Marty."

The dial tone arose on the phone again and my jaw dropped to the floor. My eyes were locked with James's eyes and my unbelievable stare said it all.

"Are you okay teddy bear?"

"I… I don't know… I suppose I should be happy, but that was all too much at one time."

"You got what you wanted… OH MY GOD they are coming here to visit you!"

"Yeah… Welcome to where I am at."

A month quickly passes and I stand nervously by the gate yearning to see my family with new eyes. I have already cried a little as the emotions from that overdue phone call have yet to subside. Eventually, I see a familiar face and his mother walks out of the gate. Tears begin to flow as the broken family is reunited.

"Oh Marty, I missed you so much.""I missed you to mom. Where is dad?"

"Someone got in his way as we got up to leave the plane."

"I am sorry that I didn't fly out there. Didn't you bring any of the kids?"

"Don't worry about it sweetie. The kids wanted to come, but your sis caught the flu and spread it around to the younger kids."

"So who is taking care of them?"

"Well she is. She was the one that got them all sick, so now that she is better she gets the duty of cleaning up after her mess.""Awww, mom that doesn't sound fair" I laugh a bit at the situation.

"Sorry dear that slow sloth got in my way. He seemed to take forever.""Ummm, hi dad," weakly said.

"Hey there son, isn't James here to help?"

"I thought it might be a bit uncomfortable for you, so I came on my own.""Well, I did raise you right. Maybe not that bad of an idea, but I still want to know this guy… this guy you live with is taking care of you?"

"You don't need to worry dad. Actually, I seem to take care of him as much as he takes care of me. Besides, he is making sure everything is perfect when you come see our place."

"Well okay then, it is nice to see you Marty… We really miss you at home."

"Thanks dad… mom this way… we have to get your bags over this way, and my car is in the nearest garage."

"I am surprised that your car made it out this far. Did you check the oil after you arrived?""Of course dad, I took it to my friend who owns a repair shop. He gave it a once over and ensured that everything is fine."

"Your friend huh… Owns his own shop…"

"That's right, aside from you dad, I wouldn't trust anyone else with my cars."

The drive home was a bit uncomfortable. My parents and I didn't saying anything to each other until this bad song came across the radio.

"I am going to change the station."

"Go ahead mom, that's a stupid song anyway. Try the buttons here I have a few different stations programmed."

"Okay."

"You know that annoying song is like in the top ten in the nation right now." I tried to keep the conversation going.

"Really? I would have guessed it would be in the bottom ten." He laughs at his joke as my dad always thought he was funny. I chuckle anyway.

"There now this song is one of my favorites." Happy with her selection she sits back and sticks her paw out the window.

"Just so you guys know, polar bears out here are rare so expect people to stare at you."

"Yes dear, you told us that already."

"Okay, I just don't want you to get alienated."

"We set you two up in the guest room that overlooks the back yard."

"You have an extra room?"

"Yeah dad, James owns his house and in fact this past winter we remodeled the guest room and the dinning room."

"Really? So he is handy with tools?"

"Yes he is. Although, I still had to show him that trick you taught me when I was twelve."

"Oh yeah, the thing with the hammer."

"Yeah, he thought that was really cool."

"Is this the neighborhood?" My mom chimed in.

"Yup, right up that drive there is my home."

"Wow son, who does the gardening?"

"Well, we get someone to mow and trim the bushes, but all the rest we do together."

After I said that my dad went quiet until I introduced him to James.

"Hi there Mr. and Mrs. Jones."

"James dear this is a nice house you have here. I can not wait for the tour."

"Thank you Mrs. Jones…"

"You can call me Joyce or mom if you would like."

James gulped down at the thought, so I elbowed him. "Okay… mom." I giggled to myself.

"Nice to meet you James."

"Same here Mr. Jones. I have heard a lot about you two."

"Good things I hope."

"Of course, Marty only has good things to say about his wonderful parents."

Aside from basic chatter we all went around the house as I proudly showed off my lovers dwellings. James did well enough as nervous as he was. I to was a bit on the freaked out side, but I kept my composure as I left my parents to their room and joined James in the kitchen.

"Your parents are nice, and they seem to be handling all of this okay."

"I suppose they are, but my dad is totally freaked out."

"Really? He sure doesn't seem like he is."

"Trust me, he is freaked out, but at least he is here and is trying."

"Yeah, by the way my parents are going to be over on Friday to meet yours.""What? I don't know if they can handle all of this in one week."

"Calm down Marty, everything will be okay. Besides, I accidentally mentioned to them that your parents were going to be in town for a week and they so badly wanted to meet them. I thought that maybe they can help your parents a little because they would have something in common."

"Sorry cuddly bear I am a little bit on pins and needles too."

"Its okay teddy bear I love you and I know that you are uneasy with your parents upstairs probably talking about us."

"Yeah, probably… Did I say pins and needles?"

"Yeah you did."

"Wow, I need a drink…"

"That sounds like a good idea. Your mom is upstairs and she is asking for you son."

"Okay dad." I look over at James and then head upstairs.

My dad watches me head out of the room and then turns to James.

"So James, are you taking care of my son?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, I am still uneasy with this whole gay thing, but I am working on it. I promised my wife that I would keep an open mind."

"…" James nervously nodded his head.

"Marty has a job?"

"Yes sir, he got a job at the same company I work at as part of the maintenance crew. In fact he is doing so well that he might get a promotion and be in charge of the crew."

"Really, that is nice to hear. So, you work there too?"

"I am a computer programming department head."

"What does that mean?"

"Basically, I am in charge of critters that take care of anything computer related. Things like programming, set up, to answering any technical questions over the phone or in person."

"Good… Good… ah here they come. So, your mom and I would like to go somewhere nice for dinner."

"James and I already thought about that and picked a restaurant."

"Marty dear, what kind of a place is it?"

"Well, you ever hear of Margarita Ville?""You have one of those here? I have wanted to eat at one since my brother told me about it."

"Yeah dad it's the same one actually. I need to change though so I am going go get ready."

"Me too actually, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, sit and relax and we will be right back."

I head up the steps and James stumbles behind me. We stay quiet until we get to our room.

"Did you see my dad's face when I said this is our room?" (giggles some)

"Yeah, but he sure is trying his hardest. We should back off and give him some air."

"True, I don't want to give him a heart attack or anything."

"Your not going to wear that are you Marty?"

"Whatever fuzzy butt." I smile and throw my waded up shirt at him.

"Here" He walks over and hands me a different shirt.

"You think that shirt is better?"

"It sure does. Makes you look less gay."

I stare at him but couldn't help a smile.

"Smart ass."

"Well I'm ready polar bear. What's taking you so long?"

"Nothing… I'm ready too."

We get to Margarita Ville and stand outside while we wait.

"So, are your parents on their way sweetie?"

"Yeah, there was a delay because of an accident, so they are running a few minutes behind."

"I hope no one was seriously injured."

"They said there were no ambulances, so I assume that there were none too serious Joyce."

"Great." She smiles and sits down next to Marty.

"How is this job of yours treating you?"

"It's okay, I feel like I am doing okay. There is a position opening here soon that I plan to apply for."

"Oh? And what kind of position is it?"

"Well, my boss, the one in charge of my fellow crewmembers and I, is retiring. He is the head of the maintenance crews that do basically what I am doing now."

"Wow, are you sure you can handle that?"

"Well, it is hard to say…"

James's parents walk up to the restaurant and join the group.

"Mom… Dad… I hope the drive wasn't too terrible."

"Hi, mom and dad how are you?"

"We're doing fine James, Marty."

"I would like to introduce you to my mom and dad. Greg and Anna this is my dad Kyle and my mother Joyce."

They shake paws and introductions were going around as our table was finally called.

Dinner went well enough. Our parents seemed to like each other pretty well, and they had a lot to talk about. It was funny how similar they were and how much in common they all had. Otherwise, the food was great and there were smiles all around. To think that this was just the first day my parents were in town.

It is funny when you think back and realize that you made it through something as terrible as I did. I mean I know that it wasn't like a death in the family, or a divorce, but it was a hard thing to get through. To be quite honest I didn't think that I would have made it this far. My parents are great now, and the moved the entire family to town so that the whole family could be together. I had always hoped that my life would have a happy ending. Call me surprised that it actually happened. James and I have been married for almost twenty years now and our oldest just started junior high school a week ago. Our parents are tickled that we were able to give them three grandchildren as well. Michel, Amanda, and Marty Jr. I just hope their lives are great ones, but that is another story.