Disclaimer: Although I really wish I did, I don't own Harry Potter and co. I don't own the song, either. I didn't even translate it! The song is "Mayfly" from Weiß Kreuz, sung by Nagi, the name of whose seiyuu has slipped my mind. The translation if by somebody named Phoe-chan, featured at http://www.isotype-newtype.com/forbidden/forbidden.html . 'Tis a lovely site, and I don't take credit for the translation! I'm not that talented, but s/he is! ^^; ::much bowing:: Well, please, don't flame me. I'd really appreciate reviews, because I'm having a shitty week... The notes aren't mine, either. I'm working on a couple of top-secret fics! ^^ Review this and I just might post 'em at FF.N! I hope it's reasonably warm in England in early September... I've gotten used to Arizona weather... ^^;;;;
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(Nani ka hen da boku wa hen da kimi to atte boku wa hen da
Kanjou ga sakebi dasu nasakenai kodoku da to)
Something is wierd. I am wierd. After meeting you I am wierd.
My emotions scream out; my shameful solitude
Harry sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall at lunch, unconsciously watching a certain fifth-year with silver hair and gray eyes. He didn't realize it, but he had been doing that a lot lately. Although he didn't notice, his best friends did.
"Harry... Harry, are you all right?" a concerned Hermione asked, waving her spoon in front of his gaze.
"Hm? Yeah... I'm fine."
"You sure?" Ron asked incredulously, raising one red eyebrow.
"Yeah, yeah! I'm fine!"
(Mayfly kieteshimaisou na
Mayfly boku o tsuredashite
Mayfly kanashigaranaide
Mayfly kagerou da ne
Mayfly sora ga aosugite
Mayfly kimi ga mienakute
Mayfly aishi aeta no ni
Mayfly maboroshi da ne)
Mayfly seems like it'll vanish
Mayfly dragging me along
Mayfly don't be sad
Mayfly kagerou da ne [1]
Mayfly the sky is too blue
Mayfly and I can't see you
Mayfly though we loved each other
Mayfly it was an illusion
The green-eyed boy sighed to himself as he sat by the lake, basking in the warmish air of very early September, trying to force himself to do his History of Magic essay. Even as he was reading a paragraph about trolls attacking Hogsmeade, some four centuries before, he couldn't concentrate. Not with him in sight.
The Slytherin Quidditch team had booked the early training dates, exactly a week before, on an equally lazy Saturday. Even though he was far away, he could see the light reflecting off of the gold print on the broomstick, and the shiny, silver-white hair of somebody he didn't know how he felt about.
I'm supposed to hate you, right? Harry mused inwardly to himself as he stared.
He found that he was content like this, just watching, letting time pass by as if it were the wind. The pleasant, warm air, the sun glinting off of the goalposts, the solitude; they were all welcomed. Ron was serving a detention for Snape, who he had cursed at during class, and Hermione was studying inside. He was alone, but he didn't feel lonely. It wasn't loneliness... it was longing.
Despite knowing the impossibilities of his feelings, he wanted to join him, out there on the field. Just to be in the company of Draco, without having to feign hatred, like a Gryffindor was supposed to. Even at this point in time, he damned himself for his decision in his first year.
Yet he didn't want to lose his friends, either. If only the Sorting Hat had put you in Gryffindor...
He sighed, trying to force himself out of his nostalgia. How he wished that he could go back in time and somehow make that accursed hat change everything. Sure, there was always the Time Turner option, but every good idea had something stopping it. Indeed, the Ministry would never let him travel time for something so unimportant to all but him.
Harry found himself contemplating something more complicated than he was supposed to understand. There were many different theories to time travel, one being that whatever you do when you go to the past will have happened before. If somebody killed their past self, it would be a paradox.
Then came the headache. Things like that were even more complicated than his emotions. He shook his head, emptying it of the thing Hermione, perhaps, would think about.
If only... Won't you look over here? C'mon, you stupid golf balls! Throw one this way, you troll! Harry thought angrily at the Quidditch field, as though it could understand.
If he had ever doubted that there was any sort of higher power, he didn't at that moment. Somebody on the team he couldn't recognize from a distance threw one of the cheap plastic balls, and Draco dived in the wrong direction to catch it. Over trees, bushes, and a lake alike, it flew, until he realized it was headed for him.
Homework forgotten, he stood up and rushed about, trying to get under the intentionally dented sphere of plastic. And then, it happened: He caught the ball. The Seeker that he wanted to see flew over to fetch the ball, as they didn't have that many anymore. Lowering gracefully to the sun-baked ground, he turned to see who had prevented the imagined Snitch from becoming one of the Giant Squid's many treasures.
"Oh. It's you," Draco sneered, the familiar drawling to his voice. "Give me the ball, Potter."
"You have to pay for it," Harry replied, struck by a sudden, if foolish, inspiration.
(Toki o machi me o samasu mayowasete oboretara
Shunkan ga kirameita fujiyuu na mirai da to)
Awaiting that time when you open your eyes; when you're confused and drown
That moment was easy in the difficult future
"What the hell do you mean, pay for it? Are you becoming greedy?"
"Not in money, you git!"
"I'm not being your servant, Potter!"
He shook his head, smiling a bit at the Slytherin's accusation.
"I think I'll get my pay on my own."
If there was any moment that he knew how he felt, that was it. He stepped closer to the confused boy, and kissed him firmly yet gently on the lips. A moment later, he pulled back, seeing the stunned face.
"Here," he said calmly, tossing the ball to Draco, who held out his hand and caught it.
(Mayfly kieteshimaisou na
Mayfly boku o tsuredashite
Mayfly hitori ni shinai de
Mayfly kagerou da ne
Mayfly dareka hohoende
Mayfly mukashi mita you ni
Mayfly ai ga kiete iku
Mayfly maboroshi da ne)
Mayfly seems like it'll vanish
Mayfly dragging me along
Mayfly don't leave me alone
Mayfly kagerou da ne [1]
Mayfly someone smiles
Mayfly like seeing from long ago
Mayfly love fades away
Mayfly it was an illusion
Just as he was beginning to regret his decision, Harry, out of his peripheral vision, saw Draco mount his broom and float up. He turned to see him off by staring, and then, he saw his face.
He could've sworn that the other boy was smiling. The Gryffindor blinked twice, and, upon looking again, as he began to turn away, saw that he was, indeed, smiling. It wasn't even malicious.
He shook his head, sat down, and picked his book up again. But he couldn't concentrate. He couldn't figure out if that had really happened, and it was driving him insane.
Even if it isn't real, he found himself thinking. I can still daydream, can't I?
Despite his wistful thinking, he felt lonely. He had wanted the kiss to last forever. To just stay like that...
Mmm... I was... content. Not having to worry about anything at all... Just... happiness.
"I hope... it was real," he whispered to himself as he returned to his homework.
(Mayfly kieteshimaisou na
Mayfly boku o tsuredashite
Mayfly kanashigaranaide
Mayfly kagerou da ne)
Mayfly seems like it'll vanish
Mayfly dragging me along
Mayfly don't be sad
Mayfly kagerou da ne [1]
Harry sighed to himself, his head once more resting on a book he was supposed to be reading. That moment in the sunlight by the lake, three days before, had been fun, but the aftermath was hell. Nobody new about it; it was their little secret. Nobody was teasing him, because they didn't know anything. No, it wasn't anything of that sort.
He hadn't seen Draco at all since then, and he wouldn't until that afternoon; it was still morning, and there was a Gryffindor/Slytherin Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Sure, he had tried to catch a glimpse of him during meals, but it was hard to see over there sometimes.
At that point, he would've given anything to be back in the warm patch of the sunlight by the lake. To relive that happiness... He then realized how fragile contentment was.
Those few minutes in which the silver-haired boy had flown away had been the downward slope. Since that point, happiness had slowly fallen... declined... disappeared. He had known better than to hope for anything more that a fleeting moment of joy, yet he had. And now, he was paying for his great expectations. He knew Fate and Luck couldn't stretch that far.
(Mayfly sora ga aosugite
Mayfly kimi ga mienakute
Mayfly aishi aeta no ni
Mayfly maboroshi da ne)
Mayfly the sky is too blue
Mayfly and I can't see you
Mayfly though we loved each other
Mayfly it was an illusion
It was the first Quidditch match of the year, Slytherin versus Gryffindor. Harry hovered over the field on his broom, halfheartedly watching for the Snitch. Even though he was supposed to find something gold to win the match, he wanted something silver...
He shook his head, trying to empty it of that thought. No... I have to win... I can't let my personal feelings stop me...
As if drawn by his thoughts, the Slytherin Seeker drifted lazily into view. He shaded his eyes from the bright sun with his hand, and was able to see Draco in better focus. For a few minutes, they just stared at each other, letting Beater and Bludger alike pass by.
Then, a streak of gold zoomed between them, interrupting their gaze. Knowing exactly what it was, the two gave chase immediately. For half of a minute, they were neck and neck. Then, Draco flew around and approached from another side.
As the seconds ticked by, they grew closer; they were each a few feet from it. Both hands clasped on the fluttering golden ball. Then, Harry felt Draco gently push the Snitch into his hand and let go.
(Mayfly kieteshimaisou na
Mayfly boku o tsuredashite
Mayfly hitori ni shinai de
Mayfly kagerou da ne)
Mayfly seems like it'll vanish
Mayfly dragging me along
Mayfly don't leave me alone
Mayfly kagerou da ne [1]
The roar of the crowd was deafening. Both boys lowered gently to the ground, where team members were rushing to them: Gryffindor was ecstatic and Slytherin was furious. Scarlet-robed teenagers lifted Harry, Snitch and all, onto their shoulders and carried him off of the field.
His last glimpse of Draco that day was melancholy. Marcus Flint was screaming at him for missing.
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[1] Kagerou can mean "mayfly" or something "ephmeral" or "shortlived" (Mayflies only live for 1 day in its adult stage) This line could be translated as "it was shortlived", "it was like a mayfly" or literally "it's a mayfly." O_o