Shiro again! And KHR once again . . .
I could never find the write characters for a friendship fic. Their interactions always seemed superficial. Then I met Tsuna, Yamamoto and Gokudera. And then this was written, haha.
For Gokudera's birthday, I wanted to do something revolving around friendship, his birthday and shooting stars. Of course, I was typing this up while I was supposed to be doing a research essay and a character analysis for school, but that's beside the point. I'm a little late with posting this 'cuz I only just signed up for ff, so you can consider a late birthday gift.
Warnings for Gokudera's mild swearing/cussing
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! and characters © Amano Akira
So without further ado, I wish you a buon compleanno, Hayato Gokudera!
Solace
(n.) – relief, consolation, and/or comfort in grief
Today has started off as possibly the most horrible day of my life. I cursed to myself as I ran down the streets of Namimori. 'Freakin' landlord and his retarded fees!'
My leather boots hit the pavement with dull slapping sounds, which were accented by the silence of the empty residential roads. The chains clipped to my belt rattled and swung as I turned yet another corner. I gritted my teeth and clenched my right fist, steel rings digging into my fingers and palm. In the other hand, my slim fingers wrapped around a bouquet of pear blossoms and white roses that I had quickly purchased from a florist on the way.
'Not nearly fast enough!' I scolded myself, partially blaming the vendor's lack of urgency in preparing the plants. Nevertheless, I quickened my pace at the thought of Juudaime's disappointment in me for being late. Of all the days for me to be delayed, it had to be the one in which I would be spending it exclusively with Juudaime (and the baseball freak).
"DAMN!" I screamed out loud, venting my frustration. I ignored the sideways glances I was receiving from the random few passerbys. They couldn't possibly understand how important this day was to me.
The ninth of September. My birthday. The death anniversary of my mother. The day I left the mansion. So many meanings have been attached to this date, and, up until now, I have despised all of them.
For most of my childhood, I was pampered and isolated in my father's estate, doomed to be coddled as a talented pianist and nothing more. Of course, I didn't realize the truth when I was only a simple brat. I guess I could say that I enjoyed my time under my father's wing.
To become stronger, I managed to get Dr. Shamal to train me to use dynamite. However, I was quickly rejected as his disciple once he realized that I placed no value on my own life. It's embarrassing to think about it now!
Besides that, I was pretty much focused on being a musician. Huh, they called me a prodigy, oozing envy and jealousy every time my father showcased my talents at concerts! The idiots didn't know how much I suffered. The only reason I dreaded my piano recitals was Bianchi's poison cooking. On the other hand, I enjoyed – no, savored – how I was respected and lauded for my abilities. What kid doesn't want to feel wanted? Not only that, but my mother made playing the piano so natural and – and – che, why am I even rambling like this? I loved the music she was able to coax from our ebony piano.
But then she died. And left me alone as I waited by myself in the piano room she was supposed to celebrate my birthday in. It was only when I was eight years old, right before my birthday recital, that I overhead the stupid maids gossiping about her. As I waited outside the door, they giggled and laughed as they exchanged dirt about my mother and her "bastard son." Me. I listened in horror as they ridiculed her, and anger seared through my veins when they slyly suggested to one another that it was my father's doing.
So I ran. On my birthday, I abandoned the place I had called home for eight years. Tch, but I was such a stupid child back then. As I ran from the mansion, I disregarded the fact that I had left all my belongings in my plush-covered room, and I had forgotten that I had not eaten for more than six hours. So after suffering from starvation and thirst for days, I resorted to scrounging through people's trash. I felt horrible. I felt dirty. I felt like the lowest kind of trash there was. Every once in a while, I tried joining different mafia families, thinking that my dynamite skills would make me valuable to them. Now, wasn't that a great idea?
I can't recall how many times I got rejected. I just know that it hurt every time. Each conversation was something along the lines of:
"Oh, so you're looking for a place in our famiglia?"
"Yes, sir! I may look young, but I can use dynamite fairly well!"
"Hmm…we'll have to test you…"
"Ah, I'm ready for any –"
"Wait! Now that I think about it…aren't you that mixed-breed brat born from that pianist? What was her name…?"
"Sir, just because she was –"
"Ah! I remember now! Lavina Gokudera, the half-breed bitch. So that means you're Hayato Gokudera, the young pianist hatchling who fell from the nest?"
"Sir, if you'd just –"
"I am so sorry. You have my utmost, sincere apologies, but we don't need some weak musician damaging his delicate fingers while playing with explosives. Ask someone else."
Do I sound bitter? Hell yeah, I do. This went on for almost six years. Five more birthdays came and went, leaving me alone and on the streets. I know what the punks in Namimori say behind my back: "Oh, look! There's that delinquent middle-schooler who thinks he's such hot stuff! He's only playing tough to get the girls." Yeah, well scuffling with desperate homeless kids for scraps would do that to a person. Those Japanese idiots don't know that they've had life handed to them on a gold platter.
I don't care what they think, though. My life is the best it's been for quite a while, and I'm not regretting a moment of it. By age fourteen, I was finally accepted by someone; Juudaime didn't care about my past or what nationality and occupation my mother or I were. Although I didn't receive any presents last year – my birthday never mentioned until recently – I don't think that any gift would have been enough to compensate for the family, for the nakama, I have gained these past few months.
Which brings me back to the situation I'm facing now. My bastard of a landlord decided to bother me this morning about my apartment's rent – just as I was headed out the door. So that resulted in me telling him to fuck off so I could get to where I wanted to go. And he obviously didn't handle that well at all. I refuse to take responsibility for that loser's hospital bill, even if he has the police waiting for me when I return to my flat tonight.
I sprinted past a residence that boasted an assortment of sports equipment spread out across the yard, reminding me of a certain baseball jock. Narrowing my eyes, I briefly glanced at the slowly ticking watch strapped to my left wrist. 9:32, it marked, two minutes after the time I was supposed to arrive. 'Shit,' I scowled inwardly, 'that baseball idiot better be even later than I am, or I'll have to punch him in the face before he laughs at me.'
So fate decided to be a bitch and rewarded me with the baseball idiot's stupid smile as soon as I turned past the Sawada household gate. I nearly punched him out then and there, if not for Juudaime watching.
Even though I saw Juudaime's eyebrows drawing towards each other and his mouth opening in preparation to decline the flowers I was clutching, I swiftly knelt and offered them before he had the chance to speak. As I bowed my head, I saw Juudaime's worn-out shoes approach me.
"Juudaime! I apologize for my rudeness! I have absolutely no excuse for being tardy. Please forgive me!"
"Huh? But, Gokudera-kun –"
"Haha, Gokudera! What are talking about? You're early," the baseball idiot supplied, giving me a pat on my bowed back.
I was ready to swipe his arm away and comment on his lack of intelligence for reading the time incorrectly, but Juudaime's response left me speechless.
"Uh, Gokudera-kun, isn't your watch off by 10 minutes?"
I glanced up, only to be met with a head full of brown, fluffy hair. Juudaime's equally chocolate eyes were fixed on the mechanism attached to my wrist; his head lowered to my eye level as he crouched down to examine it.
"It…what?" I asked incredulously. To clarify, Yamamoto strolled over and showed me his digital watch. The green symbols cheerfully displayed 9:25 AM. Five minutes early. Flushing in embarrassment, the only thought that ran around in my head was, 'Well, fuck.'
Juudaime immediately straightened, chuckling nervously as I began banging my head against the ground and muttering apologies.
"Gokudera-kun, stop! You're hurting yourself!"
"Ah? Gokudera, forgetting little things like the time isn't that important, right?" Yamamoto questioned, tilting his head and smiling amicably.
"Shut up, baseball freak! You don't understand! Such an important day, and I've already managed to embarrass myself in front of Juudaime! Such a disgrace…" I covered my face with my right hand, still holding on to the blooms with my left.
"Aw, come on, Gokudera! We're here to celebrate your birthday, so cheer up!" Yamamoto smiled, plucking the bouquet from my hand. He handed it to Juudaime's mother, who had come out to see us off. "Let's go do something fun!"
This time, I actually succeeding in getting the baseball freak a comfortable distance away as Juudaime started leading us towards the hub of Namimori. Yamamoto just gave a good-natured grin before turning to Juudaime and asking, "So, have any ideas about what to do?"
"Er, not really. I'm not sure what is open at this time," Juudaime trailed off, looking at the two of us hesitantly. I took that as my cue.
"Juudaime! I prepared a plan for the entire day, based on what are the most popular tourist attractions this year. FIRST, we can start at the shopping district. I even heard there's a market event going on! Then, from there, we can –"
"Gokudera-kun, hold on. It's your birthday! You're supposed to be the one enjoying everything, not using your time to come up with a schedule. Especially one based on statistics and polls. We should be the ones surprising you," Juudaime cried, stopping and turning to face me. His face was scrunched up and his mouth drew down in a small frown. "Ah! I mean, we want surprise you if you don't have anything in mind!"
And this is one of the moments when I realize how lucky I am right now. After 14 birthdays of being outcast and treated as something fragile, and of being alone and worthless, I have found a place where I matter as an equal and as a friend. For this reason, my birthday wish is to be accepted, and to be able to protect the people that care about and accept me. n – n – NOT THAT I'M TELLING THAT TO JUUDAIME OR BASEBALL IDIOT! I'll let them believe that my special wish is to become stronger, that I want to simply be the "right-hand man" and nothing else. If I tried explaining, the baseball freak, lawn-head and stupid cow would probably call me a sissy and laugh at my expense.
So, in response to Juudaime's outburst, I quirked a smile and told him that I would still like to visit the market.
59~X~27~X~59~X~80~X~59
No matter how many times I see it, I still can't get over the sign that says "Namimori's Warm and Fuzzy Shopping District." I mean, what kind of idiot would you have to be to think of that name? I snorted as we passed under the stupid thing, earning a confused glance from the baseball idiot.
"Um. So what did you want to do here, Gokudera-kun?" Juudaime looked around desperately for something interesting.
All of a sudden, Yamamoto slapped me on the back and, the next thing I knew, he was running off to an accessories store, laughing all the while. "I just remembered something! I've gotta check this place for a new wristband! Go on ahead, and I'll catch up!"
I was left speechless for a moment, contemplating how best to hit Yamamoto in the head with a projectile, but Juudaime grabbed my hand and pulled me further down the street. "I'm sure Yamamoto will be fine! Let's go look at these supernatural magazines. I see you reading these all the time."
Touched by Juudaime's kindness and honored by the fact that he knew my favorite subscription, I decided to let the baseball idiot get away with his insolence. Eagerly, I followed Juudaime into the general store. Tch, if the baseball idiot wants to waste his time rather than stay with Juudaime, it's his loss!
Unfortunately for me, he returned within a few minutes, wearing a new black wristband. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly before saying, "Haha! Sorry! I just felt the urge to get one now that I'm here…I hope you guys didn't wait long."
"Baseball freak, we weren't waiting for you at all! Juudaime and I were engrossed in reading about the Tsuchinoko. Right, Juudaime?"
"Uh…er…I wasn't really…I mean, it was kinda interesting…" Juudaime stuttered, shifting on his feet and looking at his empty hands.
There was an awkward pause to punctuate Juudaime's wavering voice.
"Ah! Gokudera-kun!" he suddenly exclaimed as his gaze fixed upon the vendors outside. "Could you get us some of that ice cream? I think three of the blue kind would be great. Here's the money."
Even though I was somewhat surprised at Juudaime's spontaneous request, I quickly took the money and crossed the street. As his right-hand man, I was not going to pass up the opportunity to show how dependable I am, even for something as trivial as paying for food! By the time I'd returned, the baseball idiot and Juudaime were conversing energetically, a small bag hanging from Juudaime's hand. I guess he had actually bought something after all.
59~X~27~X~59~X~80~X~59
The rest of the day was quite relaxing, a definite change from our usual fast-paced, action-filled life. Although I find a certain thrill in battling, spending time with Yamamoto and Juudaime is more fun. They're about as close to family as I'm going to get, a luxury that I don't plan to lose anytime soon. Even if the baseball idiot is a retard most of the time. Besides, I never really had much of a childhood outside of music and dynamite.
After the sun had set, Juudaime suggested, "Why don't we rest for a while? We've already gone to the aquarium, zoo and museum. We should take a break."
"Of course! If Juudaime is tired, you should let us know right away!" I exclaimed, ushering the brunette over to a park bench. There was no way in hell that I'd let Juudaime overwork himself over my birthday.
"Ah, while we're here, we could look for shooting stars…? I heard from my dad that a meteor shower is supposed to hit its peak tonight! Maybe we can wish upon one! They're supposed to be lucky," Yamamoto blurted excitedly, falling backwards onto the soft grass. His honey-brown eyes gazed wistfully at the darkened sky.
Before I could insult his idea, Juudaime remarked, "Eh, really! That's so cool! I want to look!" Seeing my unguarded expression of discontent, he added, "I think it'd be really nice if you would join us, Gokudera-kun. After all, if you see a shooting star, then you can pray for your birthday wish to come true. Then, it'll be twice as likely to happen."
So we stared at the blackened sky, the beautiful stars twinkling far above. 'A bit too far,' my subconscious whispered. I ignored it.
Juudaime was the first to break the reticence. "Hey, Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto?"
"Yes, Juudaime?" From my seat to the right of Juudaime, I turned my gaze from the stars to the Vongola Sky Guardian.
"Hn? Wuzzup, Tsuna?" Yamamoto murmured from his spot on the grass.
"I know this may seem weird, but don't you think shooting stars are just like fireworks, except less showy and more short-lived?"
"Ahaha! I guess you're right! You're so smart, Tsuna. I would've never thought about it like that…" Yamamoto replied, rolling onto his side to face at Juudaime.
"Of course Juudaime would make such a profound connection!" I shot back. We immediately subsided into a satisfied silence.
Only to be interrupted by the baseball idiot.
"Gokudera! I think this is the appropriate time for stuff like this. Hold on…" I heard a faint shuffling coming from Yamamoto's general area. Then I heard a small "aha."
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOKU-CHAAAAAANNN~!"
A black and red scarf was shoved into my face, choking off my spluttered curses. "What the fuck!" I screamed as soon as I pulled the offending article of clothing from my mouth.
A timid cough could be heard to my left. "Since it was your birthday, we managed to buy stuff for you today, although we had to do it without you knowing. You remember when Yamamoto ran off and I got you to buy the ice cream…?" Juudaime tried to explain, pushing his small bag into my hands. "Well, anyway! Happy birthday, Gokudera!"
In wondrous amazement, I reached into the plastic folds and retrieved the extra-exclusive manual for The Wonders and Mysteries of the World. The trials and tribulations I had to go through to arrive at this moment…the feeling is indescribable. I swiped at the liquid forming in my eyes.
I wonder, if I looked up at the night sky now, would I see a million shooting stars?
'Thank you for everything.'