Chapter 1: When the chips are down, back against the wall
In my seventh grade year at my school, I had blown through a lot of guys and was called a slut by the "popular" kids, or as I called them, the kids who think they're super smart and better than everyone, but they're not. Not really caring what my reputation was like, I followed my heart, and broke others. Even though my heart took me back and forth between two guys, I still followed it, and did as I pleased without caring about the feedback of all the other witnesses.
One week I was with Kaleb, and the next I was with Jake, and back and forth until I finally gave up, and stayed single for a while. I was only 13, I mean, what else was there to do to stop me from jumping back and forth? Get married?
Eventually the "Rebecca's a slut" thing stopped, and everyone got over it, and I maintained the reputation I actually deserved. I didn't care that I was being called a slut; for I had scoffed at the nickname I'd obtained. If they had my heart and mind, they'd understand completely, and they would've backed off. What they didn't get was that my mind worked differently than theirs, and I felt differently than they felt, but as everyone else in the school, I was judged by my actions, and not my personality. If I had explained my back-and-forth issues to any of them, they would've been in tears. Or, they would've at least wanted to slap themselves for saying what they did.
The third quarter of the year had passed and I was still single. Now in the fourth and last quarter of my seventh grade year, I didn't know what I was going to find.
One day in my third period class, I met a boy named Chase. And frankly, from the start I thought he was just absolutely fantastic. He was quiet and shy, but he was gorgeous. Dark brown hair, deep brown eyes, and a heartbreaking smile - his features were undeniably attractive. He caught my heart from the minute I really noticed him, and one day I had finally started to talk to him.
This led into a best-friendship, and then into a relationship, which of course only lasted a month, and ended on July twenty-second, smack in the middle of the summer. We had both agreed that we just weren't right for each other, and luckily we're still friends today.
Then about six days later, my ex-boyfriend, Kaleb, asked me back out again. Which, the question wasn't one I was able to turn down easily, but yet I unwillingly said yes. Having been in a serious relationship with him since the previous November that lasted until about January, then stopped and picked up again in February, then again ended in around May, I couldn't shake my feelings for him, no matter how badly I wanted to.
So, my "love" life (you could call it that) at the age of 13 was pretty confusing, as pathetic as that is.
The rest of the summer went by, and without seeing Kaleb the whole time, I went back to school to start my what-was-going-to-be-wonderful eighth grade year. And, indeed, it was wonderful.
I walked in the doors of the school that day with high expectations and the feeling of knowing I looked fantastic. Hopping up the steps and making my way into the eighth grade hallway, I looked for my familiar homeroom class. Finally, someways down the hall, I found them, all in one spot. Saying hi to a bunch of people, I walked in the door to my new homeroom to get my papers, then made my way back out in an attempt to find my locker.
Coming in the door as I was walking out was Kaleb. I was happy, but yet not too happy to see him, and only giving him a faint smile, I went out the door faster and scurried around looking for locker number 3069.
Once I had loaded all my stuff in the locker, I took what I had thought I needed, and went back into my homeroom and took a seat in the back near my three good friends, Tori, Donna, and Sam. Sadly, Kaleb came back and sat around us, too.
I was examining the new room that I would soon be oh-so familiar with when a new boy in the front caught my eye. I didn't see his face, only his back, but from the back he looked rather good. He was the third alphabetically on the list; I knew so when I heard him respond "Here!" to "Schmidt," for my new homeroom teacher had preferred to call us by our last names.
It took the teacher quite a bit to mark that we were here, and why that was, I wasn't sure, so the time between name calling was about two minutes.
"Schmidt" had looked extremely attractive from the back. He propped himself up on his desk with a folder and tablet perfectly between his elbows, and held his face up by resting his palms on his jawline. He had long-ish blonde hair, which looked darker underneath, but had dirty blonde highlights on the top. It wasn't too long; it ended a little below the top of his ear. And the way it was styled looked as if his hair had been freshly flipped by a quick look to his right. It looked like soft hair, that I desperately wanted to touch. His upper body looked a bit muscly, but not too much, and that turned me on. From what I could see his shoulders were broad, and I could already tell he stood tall, even though he was sitting down.
I enjoyed the sound of his last name. Schmidt ... it sounded like a name I could get used to. Then I sighed, wishing I had known his first name as well. Little did I realize that we actually had the same last name. Fortunately, I knew we weren't related; for I had never seen him before.
The seconds that went by seemed like hours. "Becca ... ?" Kaleb pondered, his face intent on mine, then looking in the direction that I was staring. "What are you staring at?" He asked with jealously, probably knowing that I had been looking at the other Schmidt the whole time.
"Oh, sorry," I muttered, coming back to life.
We were chatting away about how excited we were to be in the eighth grade now, but every now and again I would take away from the conversation a bit to watch the tiny things "Schmidt" would do. He played with his pen, or he changed positions, or he looked up and down, but he wouldn't look to the left or right ... this disappointed me, for I couldn't see his face.
The conversation got deeper, as did my distraction because of the new boy that I had grown a strong desire to see. I was distracted to an intense level, and I didn't hear much except my own longing thoughts.
Faintly in the background of my flood of thoughts did I hear my last name being called. "Schmidt," called once. Twice, then a third time. And to my surprise, the boy looked back. His face stunned me, made me jump, and knocked me out of my daydream. "Oh, here!" I called, blushing at my extremely delayed reply. But even while I announced my attendance, I had not taken my eyes off of the boy.
My blue eyes met with his silky-looking green eyes, and I knew right from there that we had some sort of connection.
He had seemed stunned while he was looking at me as well, and neither of us took our eyes of each other. Not once, to look at anything. My heart was thumping out of my chest. I swallowed, and blinked, having not done so in the past five minutes.
I finally noticed my friends had gone silent, and were watching me and the boy stare each other down. I felt Tori's intent look on me, Donna's examination sweeping from my face to his, then back to mine, and Kaleb's glare burning into my cheek. But I still didn't look at any of them, and continued to look at the other Schmidt, so intently that my mouth gaped open a bit.
My mouth was open in awe for a while, and then realizing that I was pretty much catching flies, my eyes got wide, and quickly, I snapped it shut.
At this, the boy giggled, still not taking his eyes off mine. My heart raced even harder, beating more rapidly than it ever had. As any normal reaction, I flashed a meaningful smile. He returned the deed, and his crooked smile stole my heart.
From this I knew that I had to meet this boy for real, and talk to him as much as possible. There was no way that we weren't supposed to feel something for each other, and I promised to myself that I'd work my hardest to make him mine.
Homeroom was then dismissed, and, drooling at this sight of his gorgeous face, I quickly got up, grabbed my things, and unintentionally speed-walked after him, totally ignoring my other friends, and watched him walk into his first period class with longing desire that struck me like a baseball bat to the head.
Little did I know then that this boy was going to be what seems like my soul mate.