Summary: Harmony. A spell goes horribly wrong leaving Harry a shell of what he once was, and Hermione had given up all hope of gaining him back. Harry is a little dark, there is some unintentional abuse. Story is Hermione's centric at first, but Harry has a major part after several chapters.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it chances are I do not own it. Anything related to HP belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am not writing to make money, but out of love for her world and characters.
Warnings: There will be some unintentional abuse in this story. Harry has been tainted by some pretty dark magic in this one, and will lash out on occasion. If you are in a relationship like this please seek help, right away and more than likely get out. Love hurts sometimes, but never in a way to make you feel worthless, less of a person, or afraid of your personal safety. Language is also likely. The rating is at M for the abuse.
Personal notes: The story will start off fairly slow. I am focusing on Hermione and laying some character strength in her. If I were jump straight into the relationship with Harry, she would likely either cave under his darkness, or run away screaming, I am not sure which. In these beginning chapters we will see Hermione find herself and some peace. We will also meet some old friends. War is damaging to everyone involved and I tried to capture some of it. Having never experienced violence on this level, nor magic I am guessing on a number of things mainly from what I have read.
I do have a Spotify Playlist to go along with this story user ID nikkip1220 Healing Grace
Chapter Song: Lego House Ed Sheeran
Binks
Hermione woke shivering. Her fireplace was empty, doing nothing against the late October chill. Hermione cursed herself again for her actions in the fourth year. With Dobby gone, none of the other elves would come near her room. They all feared freedom, because with freedom came almost certain death. She understood the strange magic now; a house elf was meant to serve. Their heart belonged to their family. They needed a family, or a strong magical place to bond to, their magic tied to that of their masters. Without it, the magic would slowly implode, leading to cardiac arrest. Kreacher explained this last summer, while Ron was sticking his head in the sand, and Harry, it hurt too much to even think about her black haired friend. Hermione refused to think about him. He was the savior of the modern world, but he also changed into something almost cruel. She knew nothing of what happened to the young man, but it was enough to completely destroy what he was before.
After shaking off the depressing thoughts, Hermione cast a non-verbal Incendio at the fireplace; creating a pleasant warming fire. Hermione shivered again, this time not necessarily from the cold outside the room, but the remnants of the nightmare inside her head. Ever since the final battle she was plagued by constant visions every time she closed her eyes. Dead Harry looking at peace, Dobby jumping in front of a killing curse, Lavender Brown dismembered, head floating through the great hall, and the worst of all Ginny grinning manically as she revealed her dark mark. After shaking off the traumatizing thoughts once more, Hermione decided that she would try to right at least on wrong that she had made, "Winky," the witch called softly.
"Bad Mistress is calling poor Winky," the small elf replied as she popped into existence.
Hermione's already damaged heart broke a little at the words from the elf that encouraged her to try a revolution. "Can you take me to the Head Elf?" Hermione questioned.
Winky was torn. This was the bad mistress; the one who wanted to free all the elves. Winky would normally ignore an order from the most despised witch in the castle, but now that she technically was a member of staff Winky had to obey, or risk punishment. "Right away, miss," Winky responded begrudgingly, hoping that this would not cause her to get stuck on bathroom duty, again.
The bushy haired witch gave a small smile as she grabbed ahold of Winky's shoulder. She was certain that the elf wouldn't have even responded to her call if she wasn't the Head Girl. Hermione has sworn an oath earlier in the year that was similar to staffs, and in doing so was recognized as a member of the staff for the year. As the elves were bound to the castles magic that made everyone sworn to protect the students the elves masters. If given a direct order or called an elf could only ignore it without punishment, if harm would come to other inhabitants.
Hermione materialized in the dorm area of the kitchens, in front of an elderly elf. "Winky what is you's thinking? She wants our heads!" The elf hissed out of fear.
"She asked sir." Winky's ears flapped as she bowed her head in shame, fearing the bathrooms. Teenage wizards were terribly disgusting.
Hermione noticed that Winky avoided use of the head elf's name. This was smart on the little elf's part. With the name Hermione could call the elf to her at any point, and then free him. Hermione sank to her knees, placing her hands in full view looking down in a sign of submission to the wrinkled elf. She wanted to seem as non-threatening as possible. "Sir, I asked Winky to bring me to you so I could apologize." Hermione took a breath, pausing her speech. "I am appalled at my actions from two years ago. I never realized that your magic and life was tied to that of your masters. I also didn't know that Hogwarts is often the home for elves not wanted anywhere else. I had a conversation with Kreacher, another elf this summer and learned that the relationship isn't master and slave like I thought, but instead one of boss and employee. I know that my actions were viewed as attempted murder, and even though nothing could have come out of it, because at the time I was just a student, I know that it was an insult and caused a large amount of mistrust. Please forgive me for my actions and I give my word I will never do anything like that again."
The elderly elf stared at Hermione for a moment. He knew that humans often made wrong assumptions, their jobs were so much more complicated. He also didn't want to risk any of his friends to a potential dangerous situation though. He felt out to her magic, and sensed sincerity and guilt. "Mistress Hermione, the elves accept your apology, as it was out of you's not knowing our ways."
"Thank you sir." The brunette replied softly, and got up to take her leave. She corrected her biggest wrong, and some of the guilt had been alleviated. She tried to leave the dorm, thinking sleep might come easier to her now, but was stopped by the head elf's voice.
"Mistress! Stop, you is forgetting something."
Hermione scanned the area she just was, and looked at the elf in confusion. "Binks." Called the head elf happily.
"Head Elf Hippy asked for Bin-," then the peppy elf stopped. "Hippy no, no, no, I is a good elf. I didn't mean to break another toilet, or shrink the headmaster's underwear. Please no clothes. I will clean the bedpans, anything but freedom!"
Hermione felt more shame at her ignorance. This poor elf thought he was being freed. "Binks, Hippy is not freeing Binks, but assigning you to Hermione." Binks looked at Hippy with concern. "She has apologized sincerely, to no longer harm us."
"Does Hermy needs me?" Binks asked the Head Elf.
"Yes she do. Does you want the job?" Hippy hoped the young elf said yes. It would not only pass a little house elf justice on the witch, but it would get the excitable blue eyed monstrosity out of his direct command. He was only five, just finished with initial training, normally house elves weren't assigned to a staff member until they were thirty, at least. Most never received the honor, even though it was a dream. A lot of times the staff member bonded with the elf fully, meaning full use of their magic, and true happiness.
The elf had tears well up in his clear blue eyes, when Hermione spoke up, "Hippy, I do not think I can accept this, I just wanted to set things right, not get my own elf."
Tears started to leak down Binks face, oh if this stubborn girl didn't accept him he'd be inconsolable thought Hippy. "Being made Head Girl earns you the privilege of having your own elf, young mistress. You need the help, he can take care of your laundry and learn your personal tastes, making more time for your duties and rest."
Hermione pondered the manipulation for a moment. He obviously wanted to get rid of responsibility for the excitable elf, but she would still feel wrong if she took him on. "I can't."
"You can't sleep because of the cold, and there is mess everywhere in your rooms. You needs Binks." Hippy responded with finality.
"Binks, what do you think?"
"Does Hermy want to free Binks?" He asked, trying to come to a conclusion. He had heard stories about this bad mistress, but he so deeply wanted his own family and person to serve.
"No, I don't. I promise Binks." The witch answered smiling.
"Then Binks would be honored." His small amount of fear fading away, and joy filling him up. Hippy let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully the witch would take him with her when she graduated, or at least teach him restraint. Binks needed human leadership, but couldn't be placed with someone who was used to elves, he was likely to get clothes in five minutes.
"Are you sure Binks?" Hermione verified.
"Binks is sure, what will Hermy have Binks do first?" He asked bouncing up and down, causing the witch to smile.
"Can you call me Hermione?"
"Yes Hermy," Hermione chuckled at the little elf's mispronunciation. He was an excitable little guy.
"Thank you Hippy, I am going to head to my rooms now."
"Binks will do-"the next thing the witch knew she was in her room, with a wide-eyed excited elf staring at her. "What can Binks do to help?" He asked glaring in distaste at the state of the room. Dishes in the sink! Ashy fireplace! Binks shook his head sadly, his Hermy needed him.
"What do you like to do Binks?" Hermione asked curiously.
"I likes cooking, and organizing things, but I coulds never do it before. Young elves always start in the bathrooms." Binks answered.
Hermione in that moment knew she would enjoy having an elf around. She needed a friend, and even if her only friend at the moment was an excited house-elf she was happy. He would be someone to talk to, even if he couldn't respond, and his happiness was already making her smile. He was not the most professional elf, but in a lot of ways that made him even more perfect as her elf.
She was more alone than she ever thought possible. People only talked to her out of duty, and those that didn't; she mostly ignored. Who knew what they were really planning? Rumors spread after the war calling her a cold blooded killer. Most people believed it because she spent so much time in hiding after the final battle, trying to get her wits together again. Her parents were killed shortly before the final battle, and the rumor mill blamed her. Neville and Luna were mostly friendly, but Hermione, never being close to either of them refused to open her heart for the fear of more pain. Plus he likely only talked to her out of a misplaced sense of duty, being the head boy and all.
She was however grateful that Neville agreed to go to the upcoming ball with her. The ball was a stupid idea all around she thought, but it might help to bring some moral back to the castle. It would be nice to have someone to share the first dance with though, and to talk to. Plus with him as her date she didn't have to worry about any hanky panky. Hermione smiled and gave Binks his first command. "Binks can you please organize these titles by subject, then author all alphabetically?"
He grinned and accepted the task at hand. Hermione finally called it a night again and hoped for another few hours of sleep before breakfast and Hogsmede. Tomorrow was sure to be another trying day.
End Thoughts: Binks and this chapter were important because Hermione is owning up to her mistakes, up next a flashback, ball shopping, and an unexpected encounter and it is at least twice as long! Also what do my readers think the proper punishment is for attacking a student in the corridor?