This is notyaoi.

I just felt like writing something different after reading lots of fluff and too many lemons that went with the fluff.
*Shudders*
This popped into my head after watching a dutch tv-show in which a farmer seeks a wife. (Farmer seeks wife, indeed.)

This is my 'Happy new year' to you all.

Warnings; OOC? HUNK being a smart-ass. Sap, oh dear lord. A lame joke or two.

Don't own, don't sue.

Enjoy?

Every once in a while, on grey days that seemed to be a lot longer than the usual twenty-four hours, Albert Wesker would wonder. He would wonder about the meaning of life, about whether or not to buy new shoes, and about why his cat Mr. T never seemed satisfied with the toys Wesker bought him and instead took more pleasure in ripping Wesker's gloves apart.

The previous Sunday had been one of those days. However, instead of wondering about aforementioned subjects, Wesker had started wonder about something he didn't quite understand unless someone gave him a scientific explanation on the matter.

Albert Wesker had started to wonder about love.

He couldn't recall ever feeling that thing called 'love'. Sure, the man had dated women, he had been in relationships and he had even thought about some of these women as potential marriage material, but he had never proposed to any of them. Not because he didn't like them, or because he was afraid they would turn him down, - come on, turning Wesker down? Don't be ridiculous! – no, he had never proposed because he did not love them.

Why he didn't love them?

Well, he didn't know what love was, that's why.

And so, on that Sunday, he wondered. He wondered about love until the sun began to set. He wondered about love until both Krauser and Joey Merchant went home after a long shift of working security. He wondered about love until HUNK came into his office and startled him by suddenly appearing right in front of him. Yes, he wondered. Oh, how he wondered.

"So, what's on your mind?" HUNK had witnessed Wesker staring at a blank computer screen for at least a minute, and he wondered if perhaps Wesker was seeing things nobody else could see.

"Just… things."

"Big things? Small things? Edible things? Epic things? Dangerous things? What kind of things?" HUNK almost laughed, even he himself realized those questions sounded annoying.

Wesker shook his head and finally turned his gaze away from the computer screen. "Just things, Mr. Death… Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to work."

"Back to working on thinking about things, gotcha." HUNK smirked and ran a hand through his blond hair. "Hey sir, listen up… Do you need help on that job? I'm quite the talented thinker myself, especially when 'things' are involved. Maybe I can shed some light on the case, whatever the case may be."

Wesker quickly shook his head. "Leave it."

"Oh come on sir, I like to know it all, it keeps me sane."

Wesker shot HUNK a cold glare, hoping that would drive the sane agent away from his office. HUNK had been annoying him in the past few months. He had gone from quiet and sane to talkative and sane, all because his girlfriend didn't know how or when to shut up. It appeared she was rubbing off on her new lover, because HUNK had never been that curious before.

HUNK ignored Wesker's glare, or maybe he had not even noticed it in the first place, and decided he would get to the bottom of things. Wesker had seemed absent-minded all day, and that bothered HUNK, because out of all people, Wesker had to maintain his sanity to prevent bad things from happening to the company.

"Sir…?"

"I think you lost your sanity the moment you kissed that woman. She might've sucked it out, somehow… Women, they are capable of strange things."

"Are women the 'things' on your mind right now?"

Wesker snorted, narrowing his eyes. "Perhaps it's time for you to leave now, Mr. Death. I have nothing else to say to you."

"They are, aren't they?" HUNK frowned and sat down in a chair across from Wesker's desk. He didn't notice the fact that Wesker was making an attempt to stare him to death, because HUNK started to think for a moment. "Are you falling in love, sir?"

"Love…" Wesker grinned. "What is that, anyway?"

"Love is love."

Wesker raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Seriously? That's the best explanation you can come up with? That's the same as saying 'a filo-virus is a filo-virus'. It may be true, but that doesn't mean you know what the heck I'm talking about."

HUNK snickered softly. "Sir, do you need everything to be logical?"

Wesker nodded. "Yes, I do."

HUNK sighed. "Well, not everything is logical. Or maybe everything is, but… It's just more fun for it to be illogical?" He nodded to himself, thinking that sounded about right.

Wesker rolled his eyes, though it went unnoticed behind his trademark sunglasses. "Okay, fine, how about… Do you love Joey?"

HUNK finally stopped staring at something behind Wesker and looked the other blond in the eyes. Or sunglasses. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Why?"

HUNK scratched the back of his head and licked his lips, looking a bit idiotic. "I don't know why, I think it's just everything put together."

"How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"Love? How does love feel? How do you feel and what makes you think it's love?"

"It feels like… One of those songs?" HUNK shrugged and seemed at the loss of words. "I'm not sure."

Wesker placed his elbow on the desk and rested his head in his hand. "Eh, the only song that ever reminded me of a woman was Therapy's 'Diane', and that woman did not live to see another day."

HUNK snickered and leaned back in his chair. He was enjoying this conversation, even though talking about Joey like that made him feel awkward. Not that long ago, he had not understood 'love' either, so he knew what Wesker was attempting to understand. However, putting an emotion into words wasn't very easy, not even for someone as smart and sane as HUNK was himself.

"Well?" Wesker was getting impatient. "How does it feel? What do you feel when you think about her?"

"Odd, I think. My stomach turns upside-down when I see her, and I can't eat a lot anymore. Well, that's what I used to feel like, now it's more stable and not as annoying as it was back then."

"I call that nausea."

HUNK slapped a hand across his face as if to say 'are you kidding me?'.

"What?" Wesker asked with an almost innocent look on his face. "Was it something I said?"

HUNK grunted something under his breath before making an attempt to explain his feelings. "I feel it's like… The need to be with someone, even when they're only gone for a few days. It's like, if she's unhappy, I can't be really happy either until she is happy again. And when she is happy, I am happy too, because… She rubs off on me?"

Wesker just stared at HUNK, no emotions displayed on his face.

"Yes, she rubs off on me. It's like I can pick up things that others might not pick up from her, and she picks up things from me. It feels right, or logical if you will. It's just… Being with her seems right, and therefore, I love her."

Wesker silently shook his head. "You, my awkward comrade, are turning into a sap."

HUNK shrugged. "Well, so be it, at least I'm happy."

"Glad to know that." Wesker stifled a yawn and glanced at his watch. "I think I need to get home, it's late, and tomorrow we will once again need to go over the upcoming mission in Europe."

"Don't you mean Africa?"

"I'm tired, leave me be." Wesker grinned as he grabbed his employee's arm and pushed him through the door. "Mr. Death, that was a fairly nice conversation, though I still do not know what love exactly is… however, I think that if I want to know, I will have to experience it myself, instead of listening to your sappy stories about rubbing."

HUNK made a sound that reminded Wesker of choke. "Sure, sure… If it happens, you will know."

"Good. Now get your ass to the security office and have a nice shift… Good night, Mr. Never Killed."

"Night sir."

Half an hour later Wesker was at home and getting ready for bed. He glanced at his empty bed and thought for a moment. Something seemed right.

He turned around to face his mirror and nodded to himself. Something definitely felt right. The eyes, the jaw line, the arms, the chest, the hair… It felt so right to be with himself. He smirked to his reflection in the mirror. "Albert Wesker, I do indeed love you." He then jumped into bed and grabbed a bottle of lotion on his nightstand. "Now for the rubbing part…"

I don't know, but while writing this, I became all happy. xD
I hope you liked it, I really do. I usually don't write this kind of story, so it was a bit odd to do so.

Now have a very happy 2011, strangahs!

FUNK