Summary: Complete foof. Tess gets to meet her hero, Barney the dinosaur, only to find out that he's not as great as she thought. In fact, he's an evil alien in disguise, sent to take over the world using the children! Oh No!

Disclaimer: Roswell belongs to me! Yeah and I'm the tooth fairy and I live with Santa Clause and all the little elves, in Wellington, and I see Elvis at the corner cafe every morning and he's having coffee the Easter Bunny and Elmo! Okay, Roswell does not belong to me, but if it did, think of all the fun I could have with Brendan Fehr, on the other hand, maybe it's not better to think about that. Roswell belongs to Melinda Metz and WB and UPN.

Authors Notes: This is fic is so entirely stupid that it borderlines ridiculous, foofy, crazy, mental and so completely childish all at once. Enjoy!

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Tess Harding sat in the Valenti's lounge, enthralled in the tv. She had no idea what the program was, but it was an interesting show. She was so entranced in it that she didn't hear the doorbell ring, or Kyle Valenti answering it, or Maria DeLuca, Michael Guerin, Alex Whitman, Liz Parker, and Max and Isabel Evans coming in.

She only realised that someone else was in the room when laughter came from all around her. She turned to see all her friends laughing so hard they were falling over.

"Barney? You're watching Barney? And I thought Maria was weird!" Michael hooted.

Maria stopped laughing, and her eyes narrowed, glaring at him. "Watch what you say, crocodile-butt!"

"Barney? That's what it's called? Well that makes sense, after all the dinosaurs name is Barney and he seems to be the main character!" Tess turned back to the tv.

Kyle reached over and snagged the remote control, he didn't like the thought that his girlfriend actually watched Barney. He quickly turned the tv off.

"Thank you! There is a God!" Alex mocked bowed to Kyle, as if he were a King. "I will worship you forever, oh Sahib!"

"Hey, I was watching that!" Tess declared at the same time.

"Tess, it's a children's program. Only little kids are... stupid enough to watch it!" Kyle explained.

Tess turned to him, a look of astonishment on her face. "Are you saying I'm stupid?"

"Oooo, Kyle's in for it now!" Isabel said.

Kyle glared at her then turned back to Tess. "No, I'm not. I'm just saying that it's a stupid show."

"You are calling me stupid!"

"No, I'm not. God, for a supposedly 'superior intelligent race', you guys sure get the wrong end of the stick!"

"Hey!" Isabel objected. "We are smarter than you guys! Just Tess doesn't know what's dumb and what's not."

"Now you're starting in too!" Tess complained.

"Hey blame your boyfriend, he's the one who called you stupid, remember?"

Tess turned back to Kyle. "Well?"

"Okay, I'm sorry," Kyle said, defeatedly. "You're not stupid."

"Thank you. And?"

"And?"

Maria stalked up to him. "I think she wants something to make up for your... stupidness?"

"Yeah okay. To make it up to you, I'll take you to meet Barney in person."

"Really! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the cutest woozle I ever knew!"

Tess launched herself at Kyle, hugging him hard.

"And he is so whipped!" Michael muttered to himself.

Maria overheard him, and giggled.

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Well? Whatcha think?