Sinner
He was looking at me, I know he was. I could feel his eyes bore into my neck. He was just staring; with out even pretending that he was paying attention to the teacher. I could not even turn around to make him stop, because of that hideous teacher always make sure to catch me if I ever were to whisper or do anything else that could "disturbing" the class....As if I were the only one.
I tried ignoring him, tried to listen to what that ugly man was talking about but he made it so hard.
Why can't he give it up? Can't he see that I am not interested? It's just embarrassing. Everyone knows he likes me, ever since he screamed it out in the cafeteria a week ago. My friends still tease me, imitating him in the hallways when he walks by, trying to embarrass both of us. It only works on me. He thinks its cool, who thinks being bullied and teased is cool? Nobody does. Nobody but him. He's proud of what he'd done.
Flashback Monday, last week
"Excuse me?"
I turned around, behind me stood a guy. I didn't know his name but I thought we had algebra together. He looked nervous, as a kid in the dentist office.
I did not answer, just waited for him to talk. He seemed to understand.
"Eeeeehh, I just....I just wanted to say that....that I ..."
I just kept looking at him, hoping he be done soon, but it seemed it made it worse.
"I just.. I wanted to" "Just say it god damn it, I don't have all day!"
He grew quiet, only looking at the floor. I turned my back on him and was just about to leave when he suddenly screamed out "I LOVE YOU!"
The usually noisy cafeteria got really quiet. Nobody said a word.
I turned slowly back to look at him, the look of horror on my face. "What did you say?" I hoped from the bottom of my heart that i had heard incorrect, that it was just a random contribution from my imagination, but this was obviously not my day.
"I love you, love you so much. I love you of all my heart, I love every piece of you, every single, little piece! You are the most beautiful person in the world to me."
He seemed to have got his courage back. He looked as if he said something else but I couldn't hear anymore. I could only heard loud banging noises in my ears.
When he finally finished talking, he looked at me with hopeful eyes.
I did not know what to do. I just stood there with my feet frozen to the ground.
The smile he had begun gradually to disappear, the longer he looked on my face.
"Are you not going to say anything?" he asked quietly
I did not answer, just stood there trying to take me self together.
In the end I just turned and walked as fast as i could without running to the door, without turning back.
End flashback
It has been like this all week, me ignoring him, while he sits and stares at me, trying to catch my gaze. He has tried talking to me in the hallways in between classes but i have always just walked away from him without saying a word.
Doesn't he understand that people think it dumb? That he's dumb? Fair enough he isn't bad looking, but the way he acts is just stupid. I mean his greatest joy in life is dancing and for some stupid, lame ass reason, me.
How can he have me as his greatest joy in life when he does not know me at all.
He says that he know everything about me and loves every piece of me. What a lame ass thing to say. Did he really think i would fall for his feet just for that?
Not gonna happen big guy.
Why doesn't he get that we two don't belong together, that we are not soulmates like he says (he always says something like that when he gets the chance)
We are the exact opposite of each other. He got short and spiky dark hair while I got long, beautiful blond hair. He likes dance. I like football. He is tall and muscular and I am short and slim. He is unpopular while i am popular. The only thing we got in common is that we are both men.
He refuses to stop staring, that annoying boring staring that is driving me crazy.
It's like he thinks I'm gonna change my mind if he stares long enough.
Doesn't he understand that it's not gonna happen? That what he is doing is wrong and unnatural? It isn't right. It is totally wrong. It shouldn't be legal. But it doesn't look like he care, like it doesn't matter. For him, maybe it doesn't. Shameful is it. He should be so ashamed of himself. He should suppress his feelings. Like every other sinner.... like me.