Painted Armour
She will be arriving soon. I have neither showered nor dressed, yet I should not care. She is only a friend; a very intimate friend though since she has admitted to being interested in me.
"Yes, a friend that makes me beat faster every time she touches you" my heart whispers, and I beg for it to be silent. The problem is not that this woman is romantically interested in me, or that I have still not showered. The problem is that I am a woman myself.
I shoot a glance at the clock on the wall and realise that she will be here in less that fifteen minutes. Quickly I shed all the thoughts of washing up away and decide to put on clean clothes and splash my body with perfume instead. I run into my bedroom and open every closet I own; faster than Superman himself I tear out all my clothes onto the bed and start undressing.
"What am I doing?" I think as I hurriedly pull off my old shirt and unclasp my bra. "Why am I bothering when she is just coming to talk over a meal? I am not interested in her." Still, I put on fresh underwear and dress myself in a red skin-tight shirt and charcoal slacks. A few droplets of perfume on my pulse points is enough to make me feel a tiny bit fresher.
I walk up to the mirror to put on some make-up. "God I can't do this!" I think as I dapple powder, rouge and lipstick with trembling hands. I would probably look better without it but I don't want her to see how nervous I am; I don't want her to notice the tiny stress lines around my eyes. Painted armour they call it, and I do agree.
An image of her face comes up in my head; her blonde curls surrounding her elegant features, her blue piercing eyes looking deeply into my soul.
I drop my powder brush at this intimate thought but quickly regain my equilibrium.
"Kim" I think, "what are you doing to me?"
She is younger than I; more beautiful than any woman has the right to be. I look into the mirror once again; study my feline face. My eyes are round with huge green irises, my cheekbones are prominent and wide, my nose small, my lips thin, and my skin so goddamn pale despite the powder. My hair is short and red and straight, lacking the beautiful soft curls she is blessed with. Even my name is ugly; not feminine like her real name nor catchy and sweet like her nickname. Though together they sound good I think. Kim. Kim and Kerry.
My heart is beating violently in my chest and my breath becomes ragged.
"I am not interested in women! Why would she be any different?" I think angrily and stomp out to the hallway. In this instant I remember that she is to arrive, and as if someone heard my thought the bell rings.
"Oh my God, she's here" I gasp internally and rush up to the door. I look through the peep hole and there she is, blonde hair and all.
My whole body is shaking as I unlock the door to let her in. She is dressed in black pants and a pink blouse, topped with a black tight coat.
"Hi Kerry" she greets softly and smiles.
For two seconds I am at loss. My blood returns quickly to my head though and I reply.
"Hi Kim. I'm sorry, this is so rude of me, please come in."
I step aside to let her pass and she gives me another smile. Suddenly all of my internal organs seem to have turned into mush and I don't know why.
I shut the door as she takes her coat off and shakes out her hair. I have a sudden urge to run my fingers through it but suppress it 'til I can't remember why I even thought about it. She turns around and looks at me.
"So, you want to eat now or..." I start but she interrupts me before I have a chance to come up with something to say.
"Look Kerry, we both know why I came here" she says in her low alto voice, and I look down at my feet. During the previous half hour I had forgotten about my crutch. I seemed to be floating, moving without it, but now I am suddenly reminded of my insecurity.
"I love spending time with you" she continues, "but yesterday you told me you are not interested in women. I don't know where we stand any longer, and I would like to know that."
I hadn't noticed but she has crossed the floor and moved up to me. I am dangerously close to the wall. She has cornered me.
"I... I am not sure" I stutter and stare harder at my feet. I back one step and I feel the cool wall pressing against my back. I'm trapped. She moves closer to me and my head starts swirling.
"I feel something from you" she says softly and puts her hand on the wall next to my head. I look up into her deep blue eyes and I remember that she is at least 5 inches taller than me. I feel so small here between her body and the wall in my hallway.
"Can you honestly say you are not attracted to me... not the least?" she asks and my heart does the twirl followed by a saltomortal.
I prepare an answer but she silents me with a kiss. He lips are soft and supple and I suddenly can't remember who I am. I know I am Kerry Weaver but with one brush of her mouth she washed away my painted armour; leaving my lips exposed for pleasure.
I reach up with my still nervous hands and cup her cheeks. For how long we stand here kissing, I don't know. I just know that I do not want to be alone tonight. Somehow, I think Kim is eager to expose other parts of me, peeling off more armour.
I will let her.
/Sarah