She stood there, staring at the spot her mother was buried six feet under, for what must have been hours, but only felt like a few seconds. It was as though time stood still. She had vaguely heard everyone offering their sympathises. Even Tyler hesitated before awkwardly pulling her into a hug she didn't want. Soon after Stefan and Damon managed to convince Elena who was adamant to stay by her side, to leave.
Here rests Elizabeth Forbes. Loving mother. Town sheriff.
It was quite quaint, but summed it up pretty well. She wasn't too surprised when she found out that her mother had planned out every single detail of how she wanted it. She was surprised however, that her mom had put loving mother before town sheriff. As much as the town was Liz Forbes' responsibility, her role as mother came first. It made her heart swell with joy and an automatic smile spread on her face.
Then she remembered her mother was dead, and her smile immediately faltered.
Caroline took a deep breath. She brought a shaky hand to her face, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, before finally deciding it was time to leave.
As she drove towards her home, she started to think about all the things that needed to be done. The house was hers now. Her mother's things needed to be packed up and put away, or given away. Yes, her mother would want her things to be given to a charity, to be useful to the community. She tried to think of what charity to donate to, before her mind drifted to who the new town sheriff would be. She didn't even realise she was home, until she slowed the car to a stop infront of the house.
It was dark. She had forgotten to put a light on. It wasn't just empty... the house felt cold. Dead. The warmth that was her mother that made it home sweet home, was no longer there. It wasn't home any more. It didn't feel like home.
Without a moment's hesitation, Caroline stepped on the gas and drove past it.
She took less than a day to get to New York. She didn't make any stops along the way. When her car ran out of the gas, in the middle of rush hour traffic, she simply gave her purse a fleeting glance before getting out of the car without it. She walked until she saw one of the fancier hotels and compelled herself the presidential suite on the thirty second floor. She noticed how plush and regal everything was. The massive Christmas trees, elegantly decorated, the beautiful lights and baubles hanging from every nook and cranny. She noticed it all, but she didn't care. She couldn't force herself to feel anything really. It was as though she was in a state of perpetual inconsequence.
Then she caught a glimpse of the Rockerfeller Christmas Tree through the floor to ceiling glass window and she stopped short, doing a double take. It was breathtaking. Her first thought was how much her mother would have enjoyed spending Christmas in New York.
Caroline spent two days in her hotel room in a state of utter depression. She had no intention of ever leaving the bed, until her gums started to ache unbearably and her fingers started to turn an ashy grey.
That night Caroline fed on one of the hotel maids. She compelled the maid to forget. Caroline didn't feel guilty about it.
She left New York that day. After two days, she arrived at Las Vegas.
Caroline welcomed the new year there. She knew that if she wasn't a vampire, she would surely have died of alcohol poisoning. But it was nice. To not think. To not care. To just... be. Caroline wasn't living. She was existing.
It was... exhausting.
One morning she woke up with two unconscious men in her bed, covered in bite marks and their own blood, and the shock of what she had done gave Caroline a panic attack. She didn't care about them. It didn't even matter if she hurt them... if she killed them. It was that morning Caroline realised that her mother was dead. Her mother was dead. But when her mother was alive, she was a good person. Surely if there was heaven and hell, Liz Forbes would be in heaven looking down at her monster of a daughter. Because that's who Caroline was... Liz Forbes' daughter. Caroline would always be her daughter.
She gave the men a bit of her blood, ensured that they were alive and coherent, then compelled them to forget.
Caroline took the first flight out, and found herself in London.
She stayed there for five weeks, learning the history of the country, both the monarchy and government. She studied French and she knew she mastered it when she had a fluent conversation with a native French lady who was vacationing in London. She moved on to study Spanish, because it seemed like a good idea to start learning the more popular languages first. She picked up a couple books, made her way to her favourite café and took her usual seat in the corner of the shop. Her regular black coffee was placed on the table infront of her as Caroline settled in to enjoy her usually relaxing Sunday afternoon, what was fast becoming a tradition, when she caught a whiff of a familiar scent.
Looking up, there he was, offering her a friendly smile. But his eyes were guarded, with good reason. She had effectively left them. All of them.
"Stefan" Caroline breathed, reciprocating his smile. It was good to see him, truly. She didn't even know how he managed to find her here. She could guess how worried they all must have been. As she got up to give him a welcoming hug, it was as though all the tension rolled off him... as though he was relieved.
Oh.
Had they thought she had turned it off?
Caroline laughed without humour, shaking her head, ignoring Stefan's curious look, before offering him a seat.
"Caroline, I'm so sorry..." Stefan started, his brows furrowed in worry, looking at her as though she were some fragile lost little bird.
So this was how the conversation was going to go? She didn't even hesitate before using her vampire speed to snap his neck, resting his head gently against the sofa arm, to make it appear as though he was sleeping.
Caroline took a sip of her coffee, placed a few coins on the table and left without so much as a glance back.
She decided she needed to have a game plan. It had been almost two months since she organised something. The last event she had planned was her mother's funeral and Caroline's life was starting to feel a bit disorienting. She needed to know her next destination and how she was going to get there, pre book accommodation, because winging it was so not her style. Maybe get a couple new outfits and a camera to document her travels.
What was the point of finally leaving Mystic Falls if she was only going to do the whole travel the world thing, half way?
She left London that evening.
Over the months, Caroline travelled to Greece, Thailand, Japan, Amsterdam, Turkey. She stayed in places a few weeks at a time, learning all she could about the languages the natives spoke, the history, culture. She settled in until it started to get familiar, then she knew it was time to move on. Her next stop was supposed to be India but by that time, Christmas had rolled around again. Christmas was only two weeks away. She could hardly believe how fast the time flew by.
She decided to go to one of the few places she promised herself that she wouldn't go. Mostly because she wanted to go to those places the most. Mostly because of him. She didn't need him to show her the world. She would show herself.
She didn't need him at all. She didn't need anyone.
She had dreamed of the day when her mom would finally retire and they would get to travel the world together. Paris was on the top of that list. There was a long list of things she wished she had done with her mother, Caroline realised. She decided that she would do those things anyway.
Christmas in Paris was a wonderful affair. Caroline enjoyed herself so much that she decided to stay for New Year's eve. She expected the people to be rude and stuck up, but they were all quite friendly. Maybe it was the season, but everyone was incredibly excited and joyful. Caroline became fast friends with a vampire staying in the hotel room directly opposite hers. Juliet was somewhat of a socialite. An older vampire, but full of youthful energy. Caroline got invited to an exclusive New Year's eve bash, where she made the acquaintance of a few other vampires as well. It was in the middle of one particular drunken conversation that Caroline realised just how young she really was. He was right all along. She needed to adjust her perception of time.
Her year full of travels was nothing compared to the adventures these other vampires had. Despite getting far away from home, Caroline was still living a mundane human life. Juliet noticed her inner musings and quietly told Caroline that she was still a baby... she need not worry. Time itself conjures an effortless change. But Juliet too held on to the human things. It was then Caroline decided that Juliet was a friend she would keep in touch with.
After the party, Caroline didn't go back to her hotel. She went straight to the airport and took another flight out. She made a new list. Not just of places she wanted to visit, but things she wanted to do. Interesting things. Adventurous things. Things she wouldn't dare to do, or be too afraid to do if she were still human.
Two months later she had climbed the Himalayas. She hadn't gotten to the highest peak, but when she looked down, she looked back up. She looked up at the clouds and smiled. A real, genuine smile. For the first time in a long time, Caroline didn't feel lonely. She felt free. She felt like the whole world was at her fingertips... hers for the taking.
She thought about her mother. She wasn't running... contrary to popular belief. She had accepted that her mother was dead. She knew that her mother would want her to be happy... to live her life. But for a really long time, Caroline just didn't want to. She enjoyed wallowing in her self pity. It was as though there was a hole in her heart and nothing could fill the void. Not sex. Not alcohol. Not knowledge. Not compelling herself the finer things in life.
Caroline was heartbroken.
But now... all it took was for her to climb a mountain for her to start healing.
She spent the year travelling. Dubai, Indonesia, Brazil, Maldives. Learning about the place's history and culture, Caroline genuinely enjoyed. It wasn't just a human thing. It was a Caroline thing. Having a favourite coffee shop was the same as having a favourite novel. Having breakfast, lunch and dinner and planning the day was simply keeping her life organised. She liked order. From deep sea diving in the Philippines in the morning, to having a cocktail by the bar after dinner. Just because her life was structured didn't make it any less exciting.
Caroline felt invincible.
She didn't even realise that it was December until she called Juliet to keep in touch. Her friend inviting her to a New Year's eve bash at her villa in Rome. It was so surreal.
She made a split second decision to head to Alaska to enjoy a real Christmas this year. Caroline rented a cabin with a fireplace, found herself the biggest, fullest tree she could, that could fit inside the cabin, and spent the entire week leading up to Christmas, decorating every single inch of the cabin. On Christmas eve, she tried her hand at cooking some of the Forbes' family recipes, and even made her grandma's famous eggnog, that mostly consisted of alcohol. Then she bundled up on the sofa and watched Christmas movies, like she used to when she was a little girl and her parents were still together. When they were still alive...
At some point Caroline fell asleep. It was the banging of the open window that roused her from her sleep. She frowned, sure that she had closed it to keep the heat in and the cold out. She tentatively peaked outside, startling and nearly tripping over her own feet as a pair of yellow eyes shown from the darkness outside. Caroline scampered to shut the window closed, but before she could, she heard the low snarl and saw when the creature tensed itself to spring on her. She lifted her arm to cover herself just as the werewolf jumped, but it never made contact with her.
Caroline opened her eyes and lowered her arm to see a very unconscious wolf hanging awkwardly, it's head inside the cabin, the rest of it's body sprawled outside.
Her mind was already reeling, wondering if she'd get a flight at this hour to go straight to Rome. She'd stay with Juliet for the duration of her stay there. So wrapped up in her musings, Caroline didn't even notice a stranger with a knife, until the man dragged the wolf out.
Caroline startled once more, her body tensed and ready to pounce at the intruder, who she sensed to be a vampire, who happened to save her from a nasty werewolf attack.
The man was looking at her curiously. But there was something else. He looked almost sheepish. But why would he be frightened, Caroline thought. He probably just saved her life.
"Who are you?" Caroline asked, and she was proud that her voice was strong and didn't waver. She could tell that this vampire was much older than she was, and skilled too, if he was able to take down a werewolf so seemingly effortlessly. Unless...
"Were you watching me?" she asked almost incredulously.
The man was silent, but his expression gave an answer to everything she wanted to know.
No, no, no, no. No. This couldn't be happening. He promised that she would be free. She had been free. She thought she was free. Caroline thought she was all alone. But had he been there all along?
"Leave me alone" Caroline commanded.
The man gave her a somewhat apologetic smile. "I am sorry I cannot do that madam" he said in a thick accent that Caroline couldn't quite place.
"Did he compel you?" she asked, irritation colouring her tone. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration.
"No madam, I am truly grateful for the the opportunity to serve the king" the man reported, but Caroline could see the sincerity that shown in his eyes.
King? He fashioned himself a king? Caroline scoffed, earning a disproving look from the stranger. She didn't mean to insult the strange vampire, but it was all so ludicrous.
Was she so isolated from the world that she failed to notice him proclaim himself master of the universe? And why the hell did he have a stranger watching her? Was it to keep track of her for his own twisted amusement? He just needed to know where she was and what she was doing like some crazy stalker with nothing better to do with his time. Or maybe her friends had gotten in touch with him to find her. Maybe Elena, Damon and Stefan had made some sort of bargain with him to keep watch over her. Maybe...
No. None of it mattered.
If Caroline wanted to keep in touch with her friends then she would have. They had no right to interfere in her new life... in her new found freedom. Because that's what she was... free. Free from the drama. Free from the responsibility. Free from the painful reminder that despite trying so hard her whole life, she wasn't good enough to save the one person who mean't the most to her.
"What do I have to do to make you go away?" Caroline asked tiredly.
The man frowned, as if confused by the question. "Madam, the King has made it clear that I am not to leave your side until someone else is sent in my place" the vampire stated matter of factly.
Caroline faltered. "Wait" she said, as realisation started to dawn on her. "How long have I been followed?" she asked seriously.
She could sense the vampire hesitate, doubtful of what he should say, before he finally answered. "To my knowledge, from the day you did not return home to accept his condolences, the king has had made sure to keep watch over you."
No. It couldn't be true.
Because if what this vampire said was true then Klaus was waiting for her to return home that night, after her mother's funeral. It mean't that he had broken his promise. He had returned to Mystic Falls.
No. No no no no.
Caroline didn't realise she was shaking until a strangled sob escaped. She wrapped her arms around herself, as her breathing became erratic. She felt like she was stifling. It was becoming harder to breathe.
He wanted to make sure she was safe.
There was no pretending. There were no tricks involved. Klaus had genuinely cared about her, and if sending a stranger to protect her was any indication, then he still cared. Klaus cared.
She had spent almost two years on her own... when he was there. He was always there. She didn't have to be alone. Everything she had gone through in the last two years. Her journey of self discovery and realisation. Her finally breaking away from Mystic Falls. No longer needing to be the centre of attention, to be a part of the popular group in town. Caroline grew up. She realised that she could be independent. She could make herself happy. And she was pretty sure that Klaus knew... he broke his promise because he knew she was ready to leave home. He had showed up at her door to take her away and show her the world. But Caroline had completely missed it...
"Madam, are you all right?" the vampire asked politely, but he was looking at her worriedly, probably thinking that she had entered into a state of shock after her near werewolf attack.
"What's your name?" Caroline asked instead.
"James" the vampire replied warily.
"Thank you James" she mumbled, giving him a small grateful smile, before shutting the window and retreating further inside.
She needed to get away. She never felt like this before. Leaving Mystic Falls, leaving her friends behind, starting to drink from the vein, her excessive use of compulsion... Since her mother died, Caroline had never felt... regret. Caroline never felt regret as much as she felt it now knowing that she completely missed Klaus. He had been right there... inside of her house that night waiting for her. He had come for her. But she... she did run away. She ran away and never looked back. That's why she snapped Stefan's neck when Stefan had found her. That's why she had been extra careful about covering her trail. They were all reminders. Every single one of them served to remind her of the life she used to have. But Klaus... he had come to take her away that night. Caroline was sure.
Oh she had been so stupid. She had completely missed out on the chance. Because Caroline was positive if there was a single person who could actually help her... it was him.
Caroline didn't even realise she was a sobbing, shaking mess on the floor of her bedroom until she was gasping for breath, making dry heaving sounds. God, she was a wreck. She was more confused than ever. It felt like the past two years hadn't even happened and she was right back to where she started, staring at her mother's gravestone.
What was it about him, the mere mention of his name, that completely unravelled her? If she had entered into her home instead of driving away, and if Klaus had offered to take her away, Caroline knew she would have accepted his invitation without a second thought. Not because she needed him. Because she wanted to be with him. Because there was no longer any teeter to Mystic Falls to keep her there. Because all the reasons she had given him as to why she couldn't be with him... those reasons no longer applied. Caroline was ready.
But she had honestly thought that being with him was no longer an option. She would never have thought that he would... after all this time...
Fresh tears started to stream down her cheeks and Caroline didn't even bother to wipe them away. She wrapped her arms around herself tighter. She needed her mom. For the first time in her life, Caroline really needed her mom. She closed her eyes tightly, leaning her head against the bed frame.
"There's a whole world out there waiting for you sweetie" Liz said, her voice soft, barely above a whisper. If Caroline wasn't a vampire, she wouldn't be able to understand. And the words shocked her. They were they same words Klaus had spoken to her while she was lying on her deathbed. She could tell how much effort it took her mom to speak, but there was this fierceness and determination that shown in her eyes that made Caroline stay silent, listening intently. "And I want you to go out there and see it all baby. You won't have your weak human mother here to hold you back any more."
"Mom" Caroline protested, outraged, grabbing a hold of her mother's hand. "Don't you ever think like that" she said firmly, "you have never held me back. Okay? Never."
Liz simply smiled, her eyes fluttering closed, before opening again. Caroline stilled. The doctors had said any minute now... it was as though Caroline was numb, in a state of utter desolation, trying to draw out the minutes... the seconds...
"You're always putting everyone before yourself. Always trying so hard, my little baby girl" Liz murmured. She took a ragged breath, her eyes fluttering closed again.
"Mom" Caroline sobbed. She could hear her mother's heart beat slowing. She tried to swallow her emotion... she tried to be strong. If only she could transfer her strength to her mother... if only there was something she could do.
"I want you to promise me Caroline" her mom said, squeezing Caroline's hand so tightly, that Caroline nearly startled.
"Anything mommy" Caroline choked out, giving her mom's hand a gentle squeeze.
When her mom didn't reply. "Mom" Caroline asked. Then she noticed... the absence of that sound. That sound that made Caroline's whole world go around. "Mommy" Caroline cried out, sobs racking her body. "Mommy please" she begged. She idly noticed the doctor and nurses rush in, the sounds on the monitors, but Caroline would not let go.
"Mommy. Mom please wake up. Please please. Mom" Caroline begged, willing her mother to open her eyes. Two strong arms wrapped around her pulling her away, but not without Caroline trying to shake him off. "Stefan no... no please. Let me go... please. I want to stay with her" Caroline pleaded, trying to get back to her mother's side while Stefan pulled her out of the room.
"I'm sorry Caroline" he said apologetically, sounding grief stricken.
"No" Caroline shouted. "Let go of me" she screamed at him, shaking her head and trying to pull away. Why didn't he want her to stay with her mother? All she wanted was to stay with her mother just a little bit longer...
"I'm sorry Caroline" Stefan repeated. "She's gone..."
And for one fleeting moment Caroline thought that if Klaus was here... he would understand. He would probably steal her mother's body away and let Caroline hold on to her mother's hand as long as she wanted to.
Klaus would understand.
Stefan didn't understand. Damon didn't understand. Elena didn't understand. They were looking at her with pity in their eyes. They thought she was broken... they would want to fix her. As though they knew her! "I hate you!" Caroline screamed, looking through the small window on the door, into Liz's room as the nurses put a white sheet over her still form. "I hate all of you" she cried, her words loosing their heat.
One minute her eyes were filled to the brim with tears, blurring her vision. The next minute, she vaguely made out Damon's face before darkness consumed her.
Caroline's eyes shot up as she startled awake. The memory of her mother's death leaving her feeling a bit haunted and disoriented. She blinked a couple times to try to clear her head, her hand lifting to block her eyes from the sunlight that was streaming through the window.
Caroline blinked again, sitting up in her seat, and peering out the window down at the world below. Panic slowly started to creep up on her as she last remembered being in a log cabin in Alaska, not on a plane going to God knows where...
"Calm down" a familiar voice commanded.
It was a bitchy, haughty voice that Caroline didn't even want to be familiar with. "Rebekah?" Caroline asked perplexed, before the said person took a seat next to her. Caroline tensed, her body ready to spring, her flight or fight instinct kicking in. She could understand that Rebekah wasn't pure evil. That Rebekah was just a girl, looking for acceptance and love... just as all girls do. But Caroline didn't trust her. They weren't friends.
Rebekah simply smiled knowingly, her eyes dancing in amusement.
"Wait. How am I..." Caroline started, but stopped short when Juliet came over and took a seat directly opposite hers. Caroline frowned. Then realisation dawned on her. "I thought you were my friend" she accused.
Juliet gave Caroline a warm, patient smile. "You are such a bright mind for someone so young" Juliet commented, earning an irritated look from Rebekah. "No wonder the king is so fond of you."
Caroline scoffed.
Juliet lifted a brow curious, while Rebekah looked at her curious as well.
Caroline looked between both of them. "King? Really?" she rolled her eyes. "If he thinks I'm going to bow down to him then he's going to be sorely disappointed" Caroline stated matter of factly.
Both Rebekah and Juliet chuckled, shaking their heads.
She felt like she was missing an inside joke. But before she could ask, Rebekah easily supplied. "He doesn't want you to serve him Caroline" Rebekah explained, as one would to a small child. "We've come to collect you because Niklaus has every intention of asking you to be his queen."
"Asking me?" Caroline said, sounding a bit incredulous.
Rebekah nodded.
"After your near werewolf attack, the king cannot bear to be parted from you any longer" Juliet explained further. "I believe he has given you sufficient time to make up your mind" she added after a moment.
Oh.
So Klaus was giving her time to deal with her mother's death. When she hadn't returned home that night, Klaus understood that she needed time and space. He was waiting for her... after all this time, Klaus still wanted to be with her.
Caroline didn't know how to feel. But after months and months of travelling, learning, experiencing, trying so hard to fill the void that her mother's death had left in her heart, Caroline felt happy... not a forced happiness, not self realisation, coming to terms with her mom's death and the fact that there really was a lot more to life that what Mystic Falls had to offer. She thought about her childhood home, her friends, the memories they had made, but she didn't miss them. She didn't long to see them, or to be in a certain place. Since her mother had died, Caroline felt... homeless.
A bitter sweet kind of freedom.
But now... she was kind of excited to see him again. He was a reminder of home, yes, but he was something else. Klaus was a perfect mix of where she came from and all the places she could go... with him.
Caroline turned away from their watchful eyes, to look outside the plane window.
Klaus.
His patented smirk.
The feel of his soft raspberry lips against hers.
The depth of his blue eyes.
Dancing with him at the Ball.
Making love with him on the forest ground.
Him.
Them.
A small smile formed on her face.