TIMMY THE GRIZZLY BEAR LEARNS ABOUT HIS MEDICINE
Once upon a time, in a place called Grizzly Bear Forest,[the town slogan is 'Nobody comes out alive!" there lived a little grizzly bear named Timmy. Timmy the grizzly bear was a very exuberant grizzly bear. He liked to play a lot! His parents did not mind though. They knew it was just youthful exuberance! They did not know about the speed he kept in his drawer! He only took it sometimes! He was also ADHD, which just made things worse!
All the teachers in the school did not like him, because he had lots of energy and was very curious, showing why teachers like zombies for students and not innovators.
Timmy always got sent to the Head Grizzly Bears office, and because of that he did not have many friends. The other little grizzly bears though he was funny, but they did not want to be his friend. [That romantic aura of danger, cutlasses, and Middle Eastern spices does not appeal to small grizzly bears or children]
But Timmy was happy. He felt very free and wild when he acted out in class.[ even when he had not taken his friend, the speed]
He had his high spirits and his sense of humor, and that's what counts. He stood out from the crowd, he was an innovator. He would grow up to be famous, because all famous people were little weirdoes in their time unless they are actors. Those famous people were mean to the famous little weirdoes. As goes the circle of life.
But one day, Timmy found a little can of something. He did not know what it was. A nice man walking down the street had dropped it. Timmy looked at it. The writing on the side said "Mace". Timmy had no idea what that meant! So he took it to school for show-and-tell, so he could ask his teacher. Timmy could not wait to be called on, as usual. So his teacher called on him first. Timmy jumped out of his seat and pushed a little button on the can. Suddenly, everyone in the class started screaming and choking. Timmy laughed and laughed. What fun! But then his teacher grabbed him by the claws and took him to the Head Grizzly Bears office. The head Grizzly Bear looked VERY mean, but grizzly bears always look mean. Timmy did not know what he had done wrong.
"You have been a very bad little grizzly bear, Timmy"
Said the Head Fish.
"So, since you were such a bad little grizzly bear , we are going to get you some help."
Timmy did not know what help meant. Maybe it meant candy. He was a very dumb little bear, you see. What do you expect from a freakin' eight-year old BEAR?
So Timmy was smiling when his mommy took him in the big Old Log to the Nice Doctor.
The Nice Doctor had a big office full of toys.
"Where is the candy?"
Asked Timmy. He was a very to the point little grizzly bear, as grizzly bears have a right to be. Who is going to argue with a six-foot tall animal with seven-inch claws? Suicidal people?
The Nice Doctor smiled.
"Here is your candy" said the nice doctor. He handed him a pink pill. Timmy was very happy! He had never had this kind of candy before! So he ate it all up. But then, Timmy started feeling very calm and quiet. He did not feel very curious or humorous. He just wanted to sleep. His mommy smiled.
"Thanks, Nice Doctor" she said.
The next day at school, Timmy's teacher was very pleased with him. Wasn't he quite and nice! Just like all the other little zombie children who took the pink pills! Sure, Zombie children weren't much fun, but they were very easy to teach!
So, Timmy grew up to be just like all the other Zombie children. He got a good job at a good business, and had a good wife and good children. And he thought he was happy. Still, there was always a little tiny thought. This thought was very interesting. It was about what would happen to him if he stopped taking the pink pills. So one day he did not.
Suddenly, he felt very creative and intelligent! His mind soared to heights it had not in twenty years! He felt alive and free and wonderful!
And then he realized. It was the Nice Doctors fault and his Mommies fault he had not felt like this in twenty years. Because of that, he was not famous. He had not won the Nobel prize. He was just a boring engineer, working for a boring company in a boring town. All because of the pills.
With a roar of anger, Timmy called to the heavens.
"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?"
But no answer came. No answer would ever come.
THE HAPPY ENDING