We all know you love the eighty year old guy who kills orcs. Enjoy a song just for you, about you.

Snail

In the town where you were born

Lived a man called Aragorn

And he told you of a tale

of a bucket and a pail

So you felt so quite in love

With this man from high above

And you lived inside a snail

With your bucket and your pail

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

And your friends will all complain

Telling you that you're insane

And the band begins to play

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

As you live a life of pain

In a house too small again

Roof of shell of floor of shell

It is wet and it will smell

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

You and Aragorn sitting in a snail

Sitting in a snail, sitting in a snail

Please do not resort to calling me names if you found this offensive. There are more mature ways of sorting things out.