I slide to the floor. I feel something warm on my neck, and under my cheek. Red. Blood is a strange color. Dark.
From the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over in his chair.
And my mother walking out from behind him.
She is dressed in the same clothes she wore the last time I saw her. Abnegation gray, stained with her blood, with bare arms to show her tattoo. There are still bullet holes in her shirt; through them I can see her wounded skin, red but no longer bleeding, like she is frozen in time. Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, but a few lose strands frame her face in gold.
I know she can't be alive, but I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from the blood loss or if the death serum has addled my thoughts or if she is here in some other way.
She kneels next to me and touches a cold hand to my cheek.
"Hello Beatrice," she says, and she smiles.
"Am I done yet?" I say, and I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think it and she hears it.
"No my child; you still have a long way to go," she says and she caresses my cheek with her thumb.
I sigh and I lean gently into her caress. It reminds me of when I was a child and she would sit with me as I fell asleep. All I want to do now is sleep. I look up at her with an exhausted expression and say, "But mother, I am so tired. Can I please be done?" I feel like I'm begging, but I do not know for what. I'm just so tired.
"There is a reason you must stay, Beatrice. There is always a reason," she tells me and I close my eyes. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to reopen them, and when I do I cannot look directly at my mother. She is too bright, as if she is standing directly in front of the sun. But I force my eyes open.
I know she is leaving me and that I should do something to get her to stay, but I end up asking, "Mother will you come back? Will you come back to me?" I have a feeling that I will not like the answer, but I must ask. I have to hear it.
It is so bright that I cannot see an expression on my mother's face, but when she speaks I can hear her underlying exhaustion. "You know the answer to that, Beatrice," she tells me and I close my eyes. "My job has been done, but yours hasn't. Now, I must go my child." She starts to back away from me, and she turns to walk into the light.
"Wait mother, what must I do? What is the reason I can't come with you?" I ask to the white void surrounding me. I feel a tug in my stomach pulling me back into the nothingness. I can sense that my mother is smiling at me but I can't feel anything. I don't miss her, I don't want to follow her, and I don't want to go back. I am numb.
She disappears and the light fades. Slowly, and then all at once the light goes out, and I still feel nothing.
...
There is something warm on my arm, but it feels soft, but not like a blanket. I do not have the energy to think further about it, however. I don't have the energy to do anything, and my limbs are incapable of moving, so I give in to the feeling of nothingness that envelops me.
But soon I realise that my shoulder hurts, and so does my neck. Strangely though it doesn't feel like pain. I know that it hurts, but I only feel a tingle. The warmth disappears, and it is no longer on my body. My body becomes heavier, and I feel like the bed is sucking me in and trying to consume me.
"Tris," I hear softy. It takes me a second to recognize the sound as a voice. The voice sounds comforting, loving. I want to hear more.
"Please wake up soon. People miss you here, more than you would realize." I hear the voice, but I don't recognize it, and I don't understand the words. My whole brain is fuzzy, and the tingling has slowly started to migrate to other parts of my body. It is spreading like an infection.
I hear footsteps and one final word before I hear a clicking noise. The tingling has spread everywhere except for my head; it feels like my whole body should be in pain. But it doesn't hurt.
The tingling spreads to my neck, then to my chin. And finally after what seems like ages it reaches my brain. The numbness starts to fade, and suddenly my body seems less heavy. I realize that I am beginning to regain consciousness.
Another click. This time I can comprehend it as a door opening. I hear soft voices, but I cannot understand them. They must be whispering. My shoulder starts to ache and it seems to originate deep in my body. It hurts.
Pain. I am feeling pain. No more feeling nothing. I try to gather enough energy to speak, and I call Tobias' name into the nothingness, as I still do not have the strength to open my eyes. My voice does not fully work, and my words come out raspy and thick. My throat feels as if it hasn't been used in decades and I start to wonder about where I am and how long I have been here.
The voices stop and I hear fast feet hitting the ground. I feel warmth again on my body and this time, I can trace its location. It is on my arm. It feels heavier than the last time, and rougher. It feels familiar, like a calloused hand.
I hear my name being called, telling me to open my eyes. I want to listen to it, I really do, but I can't. I just don't have the energy. "Tobias..." I whisper, and I am not able to speak any louder.
The tingling in my body was slowly turning to pain at first, but now the pain exists everywhere and my whole body hurts. It is no longer an ache; it is a paralyzing pain that wants to consume me. But I will not let it. I will not go numb again.
The weight moves again, this time to my cheek. It feels different than the pain, it just feels heavy. The hand seems to be wet, I wonder with what. It might be blood.
"Tris, Tris please wake up." I feel a drop of warm liquid fall onto my face. Tears. Tobias, it is Tobias. It is his voice. I suddenly feel a rush of energy that I only feel when I am about to do something dangerous. It is the rush I get zip lining.
I understand why mother told me I had to come back; I haven't finished living. I still have work to do, and I still have things to feel. I feel myself completely gain consciousness, and I open my eyes.
AN: Hello everyone! I wrote this as a one shot, but as I got to the end I realized I could extend this into a full story. If you would like to see this story continued, please review and tell me. If I have enough interest I will continue it. Also, the beginning of this chapter I took directly from the books. If you recognized it, that is why! I give all credit to Veronica Roth to the characters and the beginning, but I take credit for the rest. Thank you all so much and remember, Review!