Ah. Hello. What would you like? A beer? Coming right up sir.

You don't look like a local. Are you here on a business trip? Where are you headed?

Forks? Ah. That town is always raining. Depressing place. No one lives there anymore. Why are you going there?

You're a Slayer? Interesting… It's about time one of you went up there. Those Vamps have killed all those Wolves, and pretty much drove out everyone in town.

What's that? Why hasn't anybody gone up there before? Well, Forks is home to those 'vegetarians' didn't you know that? People like you… well, they have more important things to do than hunt Vampires who don't even eat people. What about you? Haven't you heard about them? They're quite famous.

Ah. You don't like to interact with other Slayers. I see. Ordinary people don't like talking about Vampires you know… they're scared of 'em. People fear what they don't understand. But the vamps are being stamped out, one by one… I'm glad you're going to fight the Cullens, by the way. A lot of people moved down here after THAT happened…

Huh? Oh. That. I forgot. You didn't know. Well, I guess I'll tell you the story.

About, oh, Twenty years ago, one of the Vamps fell in love with some girl. Thing is, it was a teen crush. You know, they believed they were in love, but they weren't really? They confessed their 'life-long feelings' to each other three weeks after they met.

Anyway, in about a year, they married. Yep. She was eighteen. He was one hundred and seven. Errr… and he looked seventeen. Yeah. Idiots.

So before he turned her into one of them, they had this freaky little half-vampire baby named Renesmee. Seriously. I can't make this shit up.

Anyway, the story.

After Renessmee was born, the girl's close friend Jacob imprinted on her daughter.

Eh? Didn't I mention? He was a werewolf. You know how those wolves used to breed? They imprinted. I don't fully understand it myself, but apparently the Males have the ability to 'find love at first sight' or something like that.

The girl became a vampire, and with her daughter finding love, she called her life 'A perfect little piece of forever.'

Oh how wrooooong she was.

Since Renessmee was half-Vampire, AKA the only one of her kind, no one knew anything about what would happen to her. Well, basically, she grew up. Fast. By the time she was really 6, she looked about fifteen.

Since her parents were too busy having sex, Renessmee only had Pedowolf to look after her.

A year before she 'looked' seventeen, the girl asked Pedowolf is she could go to school. Reluctantly, Pedowolf agreed.

Of course, the Girl got pushed around a lot. She knew nothing about what anybody liked. She found she was lonely.

Then, some guy asked her why she didn't know anything.

The Renessmee explained her issues. Errr… not the 'growing up really fast one.' The 'Neglectful parents, and guardian who doesn't want you to get out much' issues.

The boy promised to help her.

After that… well, they got really close. It was a few months before the guy decided to ask her out.

Then, the shit hit the fan.

Renessmee was, infatuated with that guy by now. She came home that day, practically skipping, and informed that wolf of what happened.

Pedowolf got… quite angry.

He killed her.

I'm serious. He got so angry at her 'cheating on him' that he killed her.

Meanwhile, the boy wondered where she was, and went to her house.

He saw her body on the floor, with her blood on his hands.

Needless to say, he got scared… and angry.

He tried to fight Pedowolf, but Werewolves are like vamps, you know? They're incredibly strong.

Then… The father of the girl arrived.

See, this guy apparently had mind-reading powers. So apparently he heard Renessmee's screams in her head or something. I dunno.

Huh? Did he kill that guy? Well, that Vamp may have been messed up in some ways, but he was apparently furious beyond belief. I guess it was a fatherly reaction.

Honestly… I don't know what happened after that. Granted, the Vamps went ahead and fought the werewolves to the death, and…

Huh? How do I know this? Ha. Well, one of those Wolves survived. This one just so happened to be the only female of the bunch. What was her name… Tia? Nia? Mia? Something like that. Anyway, this girl came down from Forks, seriously hurt. My wife and I took her in, called the Doctor. We thought she was delirous: Claiming she was the only surviving werewolf in a Vampire-Werewolf war. This was before The Count returned, you see. Back when people believed Vampires to be nothing more than myths. Where was I… Oh yes.

Now, the Vamps destroyed the Werewolves. Having no one to protect them, the humans fled.

Then something miraculous happened.

That girl… she tried to take a stab at the that Vamp. She failed, but she learned something interesting.

The Vampire kid asked his girl for a divorce. Now, I wasn't there, so I don't know why. But the Were-girl seems to think their relationship was strained for a while, then when Renessmee died… SNAP! Didn't stop that girl from crying a lot though…

Oh, yes. That's right. That kid. The boy who fell for Renessmee. Nobody knows what happened to him. Not really. It's entirely possible he was killed in the fighting. It's also possible he escaped with the rest of the humans. That Wolf Girl though… she thought it most likely that they turned him into a Vampire to mindlessly fight alongside them. I never really considered this theory, but I suppose…

Will that be all Sir? Thank you. After you get back from Forks, feel free to come back. I'll be here.