Hi guys
This is a really uncommon sad story for my usual type of writing, though I hope you still like it. This is my way of dealing with some stuff. Hope you still like it
Xoxo
Warnings: This is a story about loss and grief as well as about death and how some people deal with it
She was standing in front of that cold grey stone. The one that showed his name and the date…the date on which her whole world had broken apart. From then on, she would never be able to pick up the pieces again, she would never be the same again.
The cemetery was cold and icy, over some pieces of grass; snowflakes had made themselves a home. But the coldness didn´t matter to her, nothing mattered anymore. He was gone and that was all she needed to shut herself away from the worlds cruelty.
The tears were silently streaming down her face, making their way slowly down her cheeks, leaving a cold track of salty sadness.
She knew she would never be able to feel whole again. No matter what, when he had left, he had taken her heart with him and it got ripped apart. She was sure she would never smile again, the sadness would cover her mind forever.
He had been her world, he was what had kept her sane, happy, and full of joy. He made her life what it was, challenged and surprised her, making her think about everything and looking at bad things in a new way. Because of him, she was the one she was, he had always been there for her and made every slightest sign of sadness go away.
He couldn´t be replaced, she wouldn´t even dare to think about it. They were supposed to be together forever, but forever had been so much shorter than she had thought it would be and now, only she was left and she was alone.
So she kept coming to that cold place, trying to find at least a little piece of comfort to make her go through that time. But whenever she saw that grave … his grave, with the single red rose on it, it just made it all even more real.
It let her realize, that he was gone forever and that she could wish and dream just as much of it, keeping praying for him to come back, he wouldn´t.
So she kept starring at the grey stone, her mind filled with bitterness, sadness and guilt. Whenever she thought it all through, there were always the "what ifs". She felt guilt for letting it happen, though she could have done nothing to prevent it, but after all it felt as if it was her fault.
She continued coming there every day, sometimes praying ... sometimes crying ... sometimes breaking down … sometimes wishing to make it all go away but it never worked. And all she could do was to remember the good times they had had.
She remembered the smile that had played on his lips, that instantly made her sorrow go away and somehow he even managed to make her smile too.
She remembered the times she was full of worry, already crying. He didn´t hesitate to embrace her in a tight hug, not letting her go and it had always helped her.
And then she remembered the times they were simply being together. They didn´t need words, all they needed were just them and their thoughts, wishes and dreams were the same.
When all she did was to cry her soul out and he would hold her face while whipping the tears away with his thumbs, always managing to soothe her pain with just being there.
All she ever needed … was him.
And then, there was that one day that would stay in her mind forever and her memory would make sure she would never forget. The one day that took all her joy, all her believing in the world, in her prays and in her convictions, away.
She was able to recall every single moment from the beginning. The second she got the phone call, dropping her phone and frozen in her track for the slightest second, letting it all sink before she ran faster than she ever had. During her way she instantly knew, that one of her biggest fears had come true, the fear of losing someone.
Those pictures were frozen in her head from the moment she stepped into his hospital room. Blood was everywhere, as were the tears both of them were sharing.
She still felt his hand squeezing hers and even in his last moments, he tried to comfort her. He said he was sorry for doing that to her, for leaving her alone. That he wanted her to get from life all she wanted and that she deserved the best. That he loved her and he always would.
And then there was the sound, the ultimate sound from the heart monitor that showed her, that is was over … that he had gone forever.
The day of his funeral she felt nothing, she simply cried throughout the day. She didn´t feel the hugs people embraced her in, she didn´t hear the words of sorry meant for her … he was gone and nothing else mattered.
And so she tried to sooth the pain she felt inside of her with her daily visits to the grave at least trying to find a little piece of hope in the deep whole of grief she was in. She tried to bring at least a bit sense into all of it, but she couldn´t. Where was it fair ... where was life fair at that point.
All she got from that was that your family, your friends and loved ones are all you have got. You should hold them close to you and let them know how much they mean to you. Trying not to argue, to be together in peace and to hold together.
To hold them close and not to shut them out. You should be there for them just as much as they are there for you. You should show your love for them, because if hard times arise they will never let you down and at the end they are all we have.