Unbecoming

by Amaranthyn

His ears twitched at the sound of his name rippling passed the sound of his thudding heart. The boy whipped around to see the four other members of Voltron staring cautiously at him. They all had their Bayards in hand, poised to attack. He noticed Lance's sniper was in the kill position, not just stun as he pointed towards the growling boy.

This is what I get for binge watching the show. Man it's good.. Keith is clearly my favourite character. It's hard to find fics that don't feature Klance, which I'm not too fond of. I find it much more enjoyable with a team relationship (I might explore Lidge though; the fact Lance usually flirts with cute girls seem like an interesting way to go.)

Just a few things I want to clear up:

1. It's third-person limited, told in Keith's perspective. It's a tad broken and incoherent to match his thoughts and condition.

2. In my story, Keith and Shiro are (adopted) brothers. It's not canon at all, but just something I really happen to like. A lot.

3. Shiro is confirmed to be Japanese while Keith has no set nationality as far as I'm aware. In this AU, Shiro was the one who taught Keith Japanese (as he was young when Shiro took him in). Because of this, yes there is Japanese but translations are right next to it (with exception to like two...)

4. Title is from the song I listened to literally non-stop while typing this (until the last 45 mins when my phone died to 1% and music stopped playing.) I was listening to it when I thought of this idea and I had no title so. Yeah. (Unbecoming - Starset. Good song)

Disclaimer: I do not own Voltron: Legendary Defender or any of it's characters. I don't own the sing mentioned above either, it was just fuel for the scene of Keith "losing it" and running away. (everything else is just collateral damage)

Warning: Violence, blood, gore, scenes of dismemberment (although not explicit.) You have been warned

Warning: This is unbeta'd. All grammar and spelling errors are my own.

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Keith was on autopilot. His moves were precise but sloppy. He moved quickly but sluggish. His muscles burned with every movement he made; countless hours of training didn't seem to do a damned thing. They begged for him to stop as his skin glistened with sweat under his armor. His armor itself was full of said liquid and dirt, littered with holes from the plasma bullets that worked passed his defense.

His Bayard sword sliced through another sentry, watching the lifeless robot spark and crumble unceremoniously to the ground.

His breath was labored. His vision was cloudy. Keith reached up and took his helmet off just long enough to wipe his long bangs away from his forehead, drying the sweat while he did. His lean frame shook from the exertion he gave fighting the seemingly endless sentries. The teen put his helmet back on before he stretched his aching muscles. Keith quickly stopped, finding he aggravated the wound he forgotten about on his side.

As the adrenaline faded from his bloodstream, Keith was left quaking even more; his muscles struggled to keep him standing straight as his pain receptors attacked his brain. It was hard to find somewhere where it didn't bother him; whether it was just shaking or blinding pain. The worse was the wound he was currently clutching.

His white armor was stained a crimson red near the area. A Galra soldier had stabbed him near his armpit, aiming for his heart. Keith's desperate will to live kept the soldier from killing him but left him with the wound.

It had downed Keith, much to his displeasure. His ripped gauntlets tried to stop the bleeding, to stop the pain but there wasn't anything he could do on the field. The rest of his team was elsewhere fighting and it wasn't like the Galra was going allow him to take a breather to wrap it up. Keith had felt something vibrate at the back of his skull; the familiar purring of his fiery red lion. It had purred to him, almost cooing, urging him to calm down. He hadn't realized he was panicked to begin with but with all the red oozing out of his injured body… The ancient mecha urged her paladin that he had to use her gift of fire to stop the bleeding.

So that's what Keith had done; he cauterized the wound himself.

Keith had pressed his twitching hands onto the wound and pressed hard. He nearly blacked out from the pain but powered through it. He struggled to get the wound to close enough for him to burn it close but he eventually had.

The flames sprouted from his hands, the element of his mecha lion. The second the flames kissed his throbbing skin, Keith screamed. He couldn't see; he had never experienced so much pain before. He had tried to move his hands away but they stayed in place. He begged for whatever had him pinned, unable to move. He begged for relief from the feeling of his skin melting under his palms. He pleaded for it to all end; for him to just sleep through it. He wasn't even granted that solace as his lion purred again at the back of his head – perhaps an apology.

Keith shook himself from the recent memory, hands still on his major injury. Whatever Red had done for him stopped the bleeding; only leaving charred skin that was definitely going to scar. The armor around it thankfully didn't melt, and his palms never burned.

The teen double checked to make sure that he didn't tear open the wound. Certain he hadn't, the boy finally peered around to see the damage he done.

Broken and destroyed sentries sparked from their crumpled positions on the floor. Amongst them were the bodies of many, many dead Galran soldiers. Some were missing limbs. Some had blood pooling from lacerations on their body. Even a few had a missing head.

Keith growled, keeping his Bayard as a sword. He didn't remember much of what he did, but he was certain that was the one responsible. His instincts and underlying anger drove him into a blind fury that he had hardly any recollection of.

The teen drew in a steady breath, allowing his body a moment of bliss. He and his team were in the heart of Galra territory, their mission gone awry. To be honest, Keith couldn't remember the original plan of their mission – a few kicks to the head would do that to you. He thought it had something to do with that druid Haggar, Zarkon's right-hand… thing.

The ragged teen took a few steps around the piles of dead bodies that he accumulated around him. There were no sounds other than his labored breath, footsteps and sparks. How odd, there was no radio chatter…

Keith nearly struck himself at his idiocy; he turned off his radio to reduce distractions when he went… blood-thirsty. He turned the communication system back on with his gauntlet, thankful he didn't damage it in his blind rage.

"Guys –" Keith started, his voice raspy and sore from his battle cries.

He heard the group collectively cry his name in relief, "Keith!"

"Dude! We were sure you like, got really hurt or something! … Uh, you're not really hurt, are you? Like, that's not why you wouldn't talk to us, right?"

Keith never had the chance to respond to the Yellow Paladin before the Blue Paladin spoke up, his loud voice filling the communication wave.

"He's probably fine, Hunk! More importantly… How many Galra did you kill, Keith?! I killed at least fifteen! No, wait, twenty."

"Lance!" scolded the Green Paladin. Her voice was strained, evidence that she was still doing something strenuous. She was probably still tied up with some Galra. "That's not important right now!"

"Pidge is right," came the Black Paladin's voice. "Keith. Are you alright?"

Keith felt a surge of relief, knowing that his team mates were alright. He felt guilty for worrying them while they all fought their own fights but what's done is done.

He debated on telling them that he intentionally burned himself, or that he was almost too exhausted to even walk. He looked down at himself, wondering how injured he really was as the adrenaline wore off. He could've swore that one of his wrists and hand was broken, there seemed to be a shoulder out of place, a twisted ankle hindering him, a concussion pounding his head. He shook his head, knowing that no one could see. They didn't have to know.

"I'm fine, Shiro."

There was a pause between the five paladins as they waited for Shiro's response.

"Next time, don't turn off your radio. We need to be able to communicate if we are to complete our mission."

"Yes sir," Keith said with little sarcasm as possible.

"Watashi wa anata o shinpai shite imashita." I was worried about you.

Keith couldn't help himself as his lips curled up just slightly. "Gomen." Sorry.

"Uh… What was that? Was that even English? This is an English only team guys – "

"Lance," Shiro snapped at him. There was silence, something that sounded like a sigh from the eldest, before the Black Paladin spoke again. "Pidge. Target my location and give everyone the coordinates. We're going to meet up before anything else happens."

"On it."

Within seconds, tech genius Katie "Pidge" Holt located Shiro and sent his location to the remaining paladins. Keith scanned the map, realizing he was the farthest away from their leader.

"Hurry. Try to be as careful as possible so you don't disturb any more guards," their leader instructed.

With a deep breath, the teen took a slow start, carefully following his map to meet with the others. There seemed to be a trail of his destruction as Keith followed the map. More sparking robots filled the hallway as the teen made a turn. A rock dropped in his stomach as he wondered how long he blacked out, seeing more of his rage surrounding him.

"So, Keith! How many did you manage to kill?" Lance filled the comm. link, panting into his headset.

"Uh…"

The Red Paladin passed another dead soldier, only this time it was only a torso. Each limb, including the head, had been severed off with a sharp instrument, leaving nothing but a bleeding mess.

"A few…" he settled on, ignoring the urge get sick as he pushed the image of the decapitated Galra out of his head.

"Ha! I bet I defeated more than you!"

"I didn't know this was, um, a competition, Lance. Shouldn't we, like, be more focused on getting to each other? The faster we do this, the faster I can eat!"

"Do you ever not think of food, Hunk?" Pidge groaned.

Keith quickly looked for the green blip on his map, seeing she already reached Shiro. Lance, the blue blip, and Hunk as the yellow one, were travelling together and almost at Shiro's black one. Keith's red blip was still a way away, causing the teen to grit his teeth.

"What? Food makes me happy."

"Hey Keith," Shiro butted in "What's the holdup? You don't seem to be going all that fast."

Keith damned himself for his own speed; he was typically the fastest one of the team. The Black Paladin seemed to be worried that he wasn't moving as fast as he could.

"Sorry…" Keith grumbled under his breath, picking his pace up more out of spite than anything. "I'll be there in a tick."

The teen decided to use the jetpack on his armor to propel him faster so he could group up with everyone faster. He powered through the empty hallways, the purple lighting glaring at him. He fired his jetpack as he leapt into the air. A quick look at his map told him he had to go left so he did; he propelled himself off the wall and jumped off it, sending him barreling down the new hall faster. The jumping put a strain on his sore ankle but he ignored it.

Within minutes Keith found himself approaching the other paladins. Lance and Hunk were just approaching as Keith landed, his jets firing down. They didn't look as bad as him, Keith noted, to which he was thankful for.

Pidge was sporting a nasty bruise on her face, her helmet visor cracked. Her gauntlet seemed like it was malfunctioning if only just slightly as she focused on tinkering with it – it must have broken recently. She didn't seem any worse than that, just a bit of dirt clinging to her armor.

Next to her was Shiro who was also carefully surveying his team. He was missing a piece of his shoulder armor as his robotic arm remained dormant by his side. His good arm seemed to be pressing against a wound he was sporting on his lower torso. Dark spots decorated his normally white armor; plasma bullets. Scratches accompanied them, seemingly Galra blades.

Lance and Hunk were next to him, Lance blabbering on about something – probably gloating about his kill count. Neither of them seemed too injured; Lance was missing a part of his leg armor while Hunk seemed to have lost part of his upper arm armor. They too had black splotches that were residue of the Galra sentry weapons. They didn't seem to have many scratches, as they were both long-range.

"Keith…"

The intensity of Shiro's voice brought Keith back to the world. His team mates quickly looked over to him, their eyes widening. Keith was confused for a second, before realizing that he probably looked much worse than he thought.

"I thought you said you were fine…"

Shiro's dark eyes glared at him with many emotions. Keith felt himself squirm under his gaze, ignoring the eyes of all his fellow paladins. He didn't know what they were thinking, but he was certain he didn't want to know. The last thing he needed was them to pity him, or kick him off the mission due to his recklessness.

"I'm fine. I can still do the mission."

"Whoa! What the quiznak happened to your side?! Did you get burned?" Lance prodded, reaching out to seemingly poke the wound.

"No! I mean yes! I…"

He sighed hotly, tearing off his helmet so his head could breath. Keith quickly ruffled his hair as it was glued to his skull.

"Keith," Shiro drawled out, somehow emphasizing every letter. "What happened?"

Again, the Red Paladin found himself unable to look the eldest in the eyes. He found sudden interest in the wall to his right, trying to ignore the cold stares he was receiving from his team.

"I… don't remember much, to be honest…" Keith grumbled, still adverting his eyes. "Some Galra tried to stab me in my heart but obviously avoided him. And there was a lot of blood and I had no medical supplies…" He left out the part about Red giving him the idea, not to freak them out any further.

He finally gained the courage to look Shiro in the eyes. Keith's gaze was steely against his leader's; he wanted to let Shiro know that he was fine, that he did what he had to.

Shiro seemed to understand where Keith was headed with his vague retelling, his eyes widening. The older male's usually indifferent expression clearly displayed his horror and sympathy but he said nothing more. His eyes merely looked down at Keith with pain etching deep in them.

"Uh, I don't get it," Lance butt in.

Pidge quickly filled the empty silence as she too seemed to catch onto what Keith was saying. "He cauterized himself," she forced out, analyzing Keith. She stared up at him like she couldn't believe he would do it.

"Which means…?" the Blue Paladin pressed on.

"It means," Shiro's cold voice echoed into the Galran hallway. "He burned his flesh to stop himself from bleeding."

Silence enveloped then again as both Lance and Hunk allowed the revelation sink into their skulls. Keith watched them warily, eyeing for any change in them.

Hunk's eyes immediately started to tear up as he looked down at the Red Paladin through bleary eyes. Lance seemed to take a tick longer to catch onto Shiro's explanation before loudly exclaiming. "He did what?!"

"I don't see what the big idea is! I had no other choice, okay?!" the boy in question spat out. He felt his blood boil uncomfortably with his actions in question. "I'd rather stop the bleeding with fire than to bleed out entirely!"

Any further conversation died on their tongues as Keith's ragged breath was the only thing heard between them. Hunk dried his tears, still watching Keith as if waiting for him to fall. His body was tense as if he was holding himself back from something; Hunk was a hugger and clearly, he wanted to hug him, but knew that Keith wasn't fond of physical interactions other than fighting. Lance appeared he couldn't really comprehend what had transpired; he couldn't tear his eyes away from Keith's burnt flesh. Pidge had turned back to her gauntlet, trying to get it back to complete working order. She stole a look back to Keith every so often though.

Shiro was the hardest to get a read on, Keith noted. His eyes were analyzing Keith, as if searching for any other injury that may be hidden. He was careful to note every movement Keith made, making the younger boy feel self-conscious. Shiro seemed like he was having an inner battle with himself, but Keith couldn't be sure.

"Well, whatever Keith had done, must be worried about later," Shiro stated slowly as if it were fact.

Keith and the other paladins looked over to their leader.

"We're in the heart of Galra territory and our mission is to defeat Haggar while she's away from Emperor Zarkon. And – as much as I want to send him back to the castle – Keith should remain here to help fight. He's one of the best fighter's we got… if he's still able."

Shiro's eyes changed. Keith recognized this look. The Black Paladin was looking for his affirmation. He was silently asking Keith if he was okay and up for the task. As the leader, he was to push his fellow paladins, but…

"Yes sir."

The eldest gave him a broken smile but said nothing more to him. Instead he turned to Pidge who seemed to have fixed her gauntlet.

"Pidge, see if there's any more sentries nearby."

"On – "

The Green Paladin was drowned out by the sound of plasma rifles firing at us.

"Paladins, scramble!" Shiro bellowed out as his Galra arm began to glow a pinkish-white.

How they were taken aback by so many Galra was a mystery to Keith. Perhaps they were already exhausted from their individual battles to hear them approach but the Red Paladin was still kicking himself. He didn't have time to place his helmet back on as he dove into a roll to dodge. He summoned his Bayard and attacked the nearest Galra thing; a sentry whose metal carcass was no match for Keith's sword.

He paid no mind as friendly fire shot over his head as he attacked the next nearest thing. He felt his body move on its own as he roundhouse kicked a robot that came up behind him. Said robot bumped into a few more before toppling over onto the ground. Keith drove his Bayard through all of them, leaving them a sparking pile of metal.

Another sentry slammed its gun into the side of Keith's head, a sickening crack as the paladin was sent flying across the room. He dutifully ignored the dizzying pain it brought him as he quickly rolled out of the way of another attack. His Bayard sliced through another sentry as the world tilted on Keith. He stumbled slightly, only to have the approaching sentries shot down by Hunk.

"Keith, you got to get up!"

Named paladin nodded, unsure who yelled out to him. He didn't dwell on it as he sliced through more and more sentries, finding that the stream never stopped. A few landed hits onto the hurting paladin but they were destroyed before they could do any more damage. Liquid dripped into Keith's eyes but he ignored it, instead downing another sentry. He took less than a second break to recompose himself; he wiped his forehead to find blood on the back of his hand.

"Gaaaargh!"

Keith's head shot up as he defended himself from another onslaught of attack. He tried to locate the origin of the scream, finding it came from the youngest paladin.

She was pinned under multiple robots who wouldn't let her go. They began to pick her up, her Bayard nowhere to be seen. He watched as Lance tried to shoot the sentries away from the Green Paladin only for him to be left open behind him; another robot shot his back, sending him crashing to the ground in pain. Hunk fired his Bayard, downing multiple robots before he was also taken down in a dogpile. Shiro gave an angry roar, seeing the rest of his team falling so quickly. Keith tried his best to make his way over to his team but was becoming distracted and overwhelmed by his own enemies. He tried to watch as Shiro's arm sliced through multiple robots at once, rushing passed the falling chunks of metals. He poised to take another one but a well-aimed shot to his current wound slowed the eldest paladin long enough for another to swiftly kick him in the chest. He was sent flying into Lance who was just recovering himself.

Keith felt robots overcome him and pile on top of him, much like they did with Pidge and Hunk. He watched as they kicked away all their Bayards, incapacitating Shiro so he couldn't use his arm to attack. The Black Paladin was yelling something through their headset, but Keith couldn't hear without his helmet. He could only watch as his team – friends – were subdued and began to be lifted.

Keith's own captors began to move him away from the ground but Keith heard his lion calling out to him. She was telling him that he couldn't give up, that he had to fight to the bitter end. She became more urgent as the normal purring starting to come as ferocious roars. It caused a headache to start behind his eyes as he closed them.

Every fiber of his body told him to stop fighting. Every nerve told him that he hurt too much to keep up the charade. Every muscle told him he was far too exhausted to even move anymore. He weakly opened his eyes, sounds becoming irrelevant with the overwhelming sound of sentries everywhere. He watched everyone struggle against their captors but was losing the will to.

Hunk was the first to stop; he merely slumped against the machines with tears in his eyes. Blood seeped through pieces of his armor staining the once-clean white of the protective clothing.

Pidge was next, having received another nasty blow to the face as she struggled with her tiny size to escape. She whimpered, her visor cracking more as she tried to curl in on herself as pain shook her tiny form.

Lance gave out quickly after her, going still as he watched his friends give into defeat. He tried to nudge Hunk to keep fighting but was stilled by the broken look his best friend gave him. Lance, for once in the time Keith knew him, shut his mouth as he had nothing to say.

Shiro was frantically looking between the members of Voltron, frantic about trying to keep their hopes up. He was yelling at them to not give up, that Zarkon will not win that day. He slowly deteriorated into nothing more than a panic mess (so unfitting for the Voltron leader) when he realized his paladins weren't listening.

When Shiro looked at Keith, there were tears in his eyes. Keith saw the eyes of a broken man; one who thought he lead his team to fail. Keith could only stare back, watching the strongest member of Voltron crumble under the pressure of failure.

It ignited something deep within Keith. He couldn't stand watching his friends give up so easily. He tried to look for his Bayard but a sentry merely gripped the top of his head, nearly crushing his skull. The teen grunted, trying to ignore the pain as his neck was forced to sit an awkward angle. His breathing became labored as he went through his head all possible escape routes.

"Keith."

Keith caught Shiro's eye again. Residue of the tears were still there but this time he looked different. There was a smile on his face but his eyes gave away his pain. Shiro – the great Black Paladin – had his spark burnt out. Shiro didn't think that they were going to make it.

An animalistic growl emanated from Keith's chest. His breathing came harder as his heart began pumping blood faster through his veins. Adrenaline started to fill his bloodstream. Something awakened inside of Keith and it was angry. He felt his lion purring in the back of his mind.

Get them.

Keith has never felt so strong. He has never felt so free, even when he was flying in his lion. He briefly wondered if this is what his lion felt when he was fighting Zarkon – angrier than ever but never been more free. Keith quickly laid waste to the sentries who had his pinned without a second thought.

Somehow his fingers were ripping through the metal but Keith didn't dwell on it. He didn't bother looking for his weapon as he charged another sentry. He heard another one approach from behind – how he wasn't sure. He made sure he kicked it as he ripped into another. His mouth found the exposed wires and he bit, pulling out the colourful wires without a second thought. The sparks it created didn't bother him in the least.

He flung himself on the sentries that had ahold of Shiro and decimated them. He felt plasma bullets hit his armor but it didn't bother him. They were destroyed with two quick swipes. He freed Lance, Hunk and Pidge without having to think.

He's never felt so free.

He didn't have to think when he sent his foot to kick the sentry that came up behind him. He didn't have to think when he dodged the butt of a rifle that was aimed at his head. He didn't have to think as he summersaulted into the air then rip open the metal carcass of another.

He didn't have to think at all; it was all instinctive.

Somehow Keith must have found his Bayard as he sliced through another sentry with more ferocity than he's ever before. An animalistic roar (one what was definitively not human) left him as he leapt over a fellow Paladin – was it Lance or was it Pidge? He landed close to another Paladin, seemingly taken them by surprise but Keith ignored whoever it was. Instead he focused on the utter destruction on whatever poor sap was at the receiving end of his sword beneath him.

The adrenaline didn't fade as he searched the room that looked even remotely Galra. He felt himself give another animalistic hiss, gripping his Bayard while his fingernails dug painfully into his palm.

"Keith."

His ears twitched at the sound of his name rippling passed the sound of his thudding heart. The boy whipped around to see the four other members of Voltron staring cautiously at him. They all had their Bayards in hand, poised to attack. He noticed Lance's sniper was in the kill position, not just stun as he pointed towards the growling boy.

Keith couldn't think straight. He supposed that this should scare him but he's never felt so alive. He could hear everything but at the same time, could only hear his thumping heart and sparks from the lifeless drones he dismantled. The exhaustion that had settled in Keith's bones was all but gone as he felt himself rejuvenated with this newfound energy.

"Keith."

It was Shiro who addressed him. His Galra implant was glowing, ready to slice through anything that got too close. Pidge's grappling blade was sparking in her hand as her eyes darted around, seemingly looking for danger. Lance still had his sniper set to kill, his finger ready on the trigger. He seemed confused – scared almost. Like he was getting ready to do something he didn't want to do. Hunk's cannon was also aimed at him but he seemed even more reluctant. His finger – while not directly on the trigger – was close enough to initiate a quick response.

Keith wanted to feel confuse but he couldn't. He wanted to voice his concerns but found himself unable to form incoherent sounds; merely hisses and growls passed through his teeth.

Shiro started to say something but Keith didn't hear. It was more like he couldn't hear; he was focused on unfamiliar sounds that could be potentially dangerous. Shiro's voice did seem to shake with something Keith couldn't detect as the Red Paladin tensed up.

Keith could tell was something was wrong with him. He couldn't relax himself even though this battle was won. It's true that he was in the heart of Galra territory but he's never been this tensed. It was as if the adrenaline wouldn't stop pumping in his veins, leaving him in fight or flight mode. He could hear but couldn't focus on the things he wanted to.

The Red Paladin felt like an animal, his heart untamable.

He sensed it before anyone else realized. He sensed it before even he realized. (Maybe his senses were so honed that he didn't have to think about it; it was like he somehow predicted the sentry slowly rise from the ground behind them with its shooter in hand.) Before he knew it, Keith was charging the group of Paladins, his instincts telling him to. They seemed to be surprised or even shocked. Keith raised his Bayard, throwing it towards the group. He leapt into the air only to hear the familiar sound of Lance's blaster going off and the red Bayard sinking into metal.

Keith never had time to react as he cleared the group in white and respected colours. He could feel the sizzling pain of the plasma that sliced open his previous wound. It was sickening but at the same time, it felt good; he didn't think he could feel anything other than the adrenaline pumping through him.

Keith couldn't do anything else but grab his Bayard that stuck out from the sentry that decided to get and run. He ran away from his pursuing team mates that were yelling at him.

Keith felt betrayed; he felt that his team didn't trust him. They thought that he was a monster (but of course, he was a monster. They all knew he was. He knew he was.)

The Red Paladin slashed through more enemies with his razor-sharp claws. He heard the footsteps of more soldiers before they were near with his cat-like ears. Blood welled up through the fine lavender furs that replaced the boy's pale skin. His glowing, molten-gold eyes pierced through the dark halls as if it were day. Fangs bit into Keith's lip as the sinking feeling of loneliness filled him.

His team attacked him. He was defending them but they attacked him. He did the only thing he knew how to do other than fight – run. He ran away from this problem, much like all the other problems he faced. He always ran away from them; he knew no other way that didn't involve fighting.

How could they ever trust him now? How could he ever be allowed back onto the castle chip knowing how much of an animal – Galra – he truly was. They were going to leave him, just like his birth parents did. Just like every foster family he's been placed with. Just like the people he'd allow himself to grow close to.

Just like Shiro had when he went on the Kerberos mission.

He sunk back to the only thing he had, the only thing that's never left him: the feeling of loneliness.

Even as he slashed the nearest living (or non-living) thing to pieces, the only solace Keith had was his loneliness. It had never left him, even when he was with others. Even when he thought he was bonding with his team (no, it was Shiro's team. They hated him.), Keith always had the overbearing loneliness suffocating him.

It was a funny thing, his only companion loneliness. Keith wanted to shake his head no; you can't have loneliness be the only thing keeping him company. It was an oxymoron.

Keith's vision began to grow red as he fell back onto the one thing he knew for sure, definitely, absolutely, definitively, without a doubt, would never, never, ever, leave him: anger.

It pulsed through him like a wild fire. He was (is) a wild fire.

He attacked anything that came his way without remorse, allowing anger to fuel him. It replaced any feeling that reminded him of being human as he darted through the halls without any destination in mind. The Galra and sentries didn't seem to show up anymore, fueling his raging fire even more. He needed to fight something; he needed his knuckles, claws, Bayard, something to connect with something living (or semi-living, he supposed, considering the robots) and to take their life. He needed it; it was a requirement.

Yes, that's good, my little pet. Come this way; I have a present for you.

Keith wasn't sure what thought filled his head, but the directions were implanted in his mind as if they were always there. He thought he heard his lion screech out to him but he couldn't hear it; he could only hear his thudding heart.

You can have all the fights you want, new Champion. You can take the life of many, many foes.

Keith liked the sound of that. He wanted to kill, to fuel him. He wanted to do something more than run, but the only thing he knew how to do was fight. He wanted to fight; he wanted to do something more practical than always running. He wanted to stop running; he wanted to face his problems head on with ferocity.

Keith lead himself in a big room. He didn't look around too much; he couldn't focus. He just wanted to fight. He wanted to punch something.

My dear new Champion. Look at the present I brought for you…

Keith turned around automatically, snarling and baring fangs. The room wobbled in his vision briefly before going black. The only thing he could see were four Galra soldiers.

The Galra stood at different heights and builds, ranging from short and tiny, to tall and lanky, tall and muscular, and tall and heavy. Three of them held something Keith immediately recognized, even in his condition.

They killed your friends, new Champion. They took their weapons, their lives. Avenge them.

It occurred to Keith (only briefly) that they didn't look completely Galran. It was a strange thought as he barreled towards them. It looked to him that they were Galra but they didn't. He couldn't wrap his mind around it.

The group of murderers stood still for a tick longer than they should have before they broke off. They activated his friend's Bayards (how could they do that? Only Paladins can activate them. Maybe all Galra can activate the Bayards, much like how Keith could activate Galra tech. Zarkon was, after all, the first Black Paladin) and attacked him. He felt the rapid-fire of Hunk's cannon on his back. He felt the precise shot of Lance's shooter hit his sword arm. His arms and feet were wrapped together and a jolt of electricity scrambled through him as Pidge's grappling knife tied him down.

He struggled to get up, his brain feeling fried, as the Galra gathered near him. His struggles were renewed as he thought of the dead body of those he called friends, their weapons wrangled out of their lifeless grasp.

Kill them, my pet.

My Paladin! No! They are your friends!

Keith wiggled himself out of the rope and attacked the nearest one to him; the smallest one. His height easily overpowered it and Keith gave no mercy. He ripped into the soldier beneath him with no remorse (the fact that the Galra's armor was like a Paladin's armor was disconcerting to Keith, but he ignored it.) He reveled in the tiny one's screams as it (she?) begged him to stop (he bet that they didn't stop as they tore into Pidge. Or Lance. Or Hunk. Or –). He didn't stop until he felt blood coat his hand, collect under his claws, accompanied with skin and cloth.

Something strong and inhuman wrapped around his neck and lifted him off the tiny Galra. It pushed him against the wall, leaving Keith to struggle for his life to get away. The grip wasn't enough to suffocate him as it wrapped around his windpipe, but that combined with the strength the Galra had, Keith couldn't get away. He couldn't force the murderer away from him, no matter how much he struggled.

It was only then that he realized the Galran's hand was cool against Keith's blistering, sweat-soaked skin. It was firmer than any human hand or Galran hand he's felt. It felt metallic, but the Galra in front of him clearly had two Galran hands (or maybe he didn't, which he couldn't tell as Keith's mind was very muddled right now). He thought he saw the Galran's lips move with conversation, but Keith couldn't make it out. All he could hear was his heartbeat.

Keith's struggle died down as both of his hands scratched against the (metal) arm that kept a strong grip on his neck. He couldn't budge the arm no matter how hard he tried.

He could only glare daggers at his fellow Galran, feeling tears well in his eyes. No, Keith had to keep fighting. He had to avenge his friends. He had to keep going for Shiro, for his –

"Keith," he heard his Galra captor say.

Keith's hot blood ran cold. The Galran knew his name (why did this strike him? Of course they knew his name. They knew all the Paladin's names.) The tone was… scared? (No. That was wrong. The Galran wasn't scared of him, even though it should be. He had Keith trapped, not the other way around.)

Keith could only snarl sadistically back at him, kicking back into gear. While his struggle was weak, he couldn't give up. He couldn't. He needed to fight, not run. He needed to prove to everyone (to himself) that he was more than just a ticking bomb that could explode if you poke it the wrong way, or a scared pup scampering away at the slightest sound of something near.

His vision was waning on him as he felt something that invaded his mind lose its control on him (when did it come in? He didn't remember allowing anything but his lion in his brain). For a brief moment, Keith thought – he thought – that it wasn't a Galran soldier in front of him, pinning him to the wall. Rather it was Shiro who's robotic arm held him steadfast.

But that couldn't be. He saw the Galran. He saw them. They killed them. They killed all of them.

But as his adrenaline wore off and exhaustion replaced the anger, when Keith couldn't think straight enough to remember his name, he could see them. He saw his friends, beaten and wary of the half-Galran that Shiro had restrained against the wall. Pidge laid in a pool of her own blood as Lance and Hunk supported her, watching him.

He could see Shiro's dark eyes; tired and scared. He saw the older male scared, full of many emotions that never stayed long enough for Keith to pick out (His robotic arm wasn't trembling but Keith was certain it would if it could.)

"Keith…" Shiro drawled out again, his voice dripping in worry and exhaustion.

The Red Paladin blinked at him, still tense against the wall. This all had to be a trick. The Paladins were dead, their Bayards in the hand of unworthy Galrans. It wasn't Pidge he attacked, it was that small Galran who had the guts to pick up her faithful weapon. It wasn't Shiro who had him locked in place, it was –

"Otouto…"

Little brother…

Keith's world came crashing down on him. All the energy was sapped out of his body the second the word met his Galran ears. Tears spilled from his golden eyes as he struggled to take a full breath.

No, no, no no nonononono none of this is happening. None of this can be happening. None of this –

Keith's reply was broken, raspy and full of emotions the teen never thought he could muster, "Aniki…"

All Keith could do was slump against the older boy, his older brother.

Shiro's grip moved around to the back of his head as he pulled the trembling teen closer to him, resting his forehead on Keith's sweaty one.

Keith couldn't remember anything after that.

---

Keith was drifting, floating. He couldn't remember, he couldn't feel. He didn't feel lonely, isolated, but not content. Something was nagging at him from the back of his head, telling him to wake up. He wanted to ignore it, but the gentle but urgent purring wouldn't let him have it.

He found he couldn't move, not that he wanted to. Something kept him down, even though the fact that his muscles felt like lead would have sufficed. He felt a burning sensation on his side but he couldn't place where (if he really focused, he would have realized it was the wound that he sealed with fire. It opened when Lance fired at him, undoing all the painful process that Keith did). His body throbbed in places he never knew could.

He thought he heard voices around him (had Galran soldiers captured him? Was that all a dream? Was the team okay?) They sounded far away even though they were in the room. Their conversation was nothing but broken sentences and words to Keith.

"… attacked… Dangerous to…"

"I know… But… Keith…"

"Allura's probably right… dangerous to everyone…"

"… out cold… Lance doesn't need to…"

"Shiro, he ripped… Katie nearly perished… for protection…"

"But it's Keith! Something must have…"

"Shiro."

"It must have been Haggar. That druid has more power than you could ever realize, Allura. I've experienced it firsthand."

(Haggar? Weren't they trying to kill her when she was away from Emperor Zarkon? Did they fail the mission?)

"I'm aware of that, Shiro. But he's Galran. We can't trust him."

The voices were becoming clearer and more focused. They didn't sound so far away as Keith forced the sound of his heart away from his ears.

"Allura. He's always been Galran. He didn't suddenly become Galran out of the blue; it has always been a part of him. You trusted him before; why are you stopping now?"

"Because he attacked one of his own."

The voices were distinctly Shiro and Allura, having an argument over Keith's prone body. He was starting to piece what it was about, but had no energy to intervene.

"We attacked him first," Shiro stated matter-of-factly. "Lance fired his weapon at him first when Keith was saving our butts. He ran off, and must have encountered Haggar before we reached him."

(He didn't remember encountering the druid. Perhaps he did while he was in his fit of rage. He did remember a voice that wasn't his own or Red's in his head, but he didn't think it could've been anything like Haggar at the time.)

Keith could hear Allura's ragged breathing. She was trying to think of a response, perhaps along the lines of "he should have known" but they all knew how powerful of a manipulator Haggar truly was.

"Keith."

Shiro must have noticed he was awake. His tone was not unkind; if anything, it was tired. He sounded like he hasn't slept since he boarded the castle (how long was Keith was out? He didn't want to know.)

The sound of footsteps echoed through the room. They were light and hurried as they disappeared farther away from Keith, leaving him to assume it was Allura who left without another word.

"Erm… Should I stay here…?"

Keith heard the telltale sign of Lance's weapon powering up (or down) as he voiced his question. He supposed Lance was to act as some sort of guard (a guard for Keith to make sure that he didn't leave his spot, not for any stray Galra that came to avenge their fellow soldiers.)

"No. I've got this handled."

There was a pause before Keith finally heard Lance's reluctant footsteps leave the room. The continued until they stopped again – Keith presumed at the door – before they picked up again and the door shut behind the sharpshooter.

There were no more sounds that Keith could focus on, not even Shiro's breathing. All he could hear was his annoying heartbeat picking up in his ears.

Ba-bump… Ba-bump… Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-pump.

"Keith."

Keith didn't say anything, he couldn't find his voice. He wasn't sure he could speak even if he wanted to. His throat felt sore and parched, and he suddenly realized how badly he could use water. Instead, the Red Paladin opened his eyes to look Shiro directly in the face.

The Black Paladin looked like he hadn't slept since he woke up the day of their daring mission (which Keith still wasn't sure how long ago it's been.) His hair was disheveled (even though there wasn't much to keep clean) while he had dark bags under his eyes. His clothes were crumbled, very unlike the perfect officer he was. Keith wasn't even sure if he had anything to eat or drink since then, given Shiro's current state.

"Watashi wa anata o shinpai shite imashita." I was worried about you.

Keith recognized the words from Shiro's tongue like some sort of mantra the eldest repeated. It seemed like it was one of his favourite phrases when it came to the delinquent teen.

"Gomen." Sorry.

They've had this exchange far too often.

Shiro gave an exasperated sigh. He seemed torn between lecturing Keith and thanking Keith for being okay.

"After all that, all you have to say is "sorry"?"

Keith turned away from Shiro's gaze. He wasn't sure what there was left to say. It was obvious to him now that he did something really, really bad to warrant such a response from the Princess. (Perhaps it was just Allura and her stereotypes about all Galras being bad, and the fact that Keith's true colours were shown only rekindled that flame.)

Shiro sighed again, and there was movement next to Keith. The next thing the boy knew was Shiro kneeling his weary body down onto the ground, his head gently resting against Keith's forehead like before.

"Watashi wa kowagatte ita." I was scared.

Keith's heart leapt into his throat. He felt tears prick his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He hated doing this to Shiro. Not many things scared him, Keith knew that, but if the Black Paladin openly admitted it, then it was certainly something that wasn't to be taken lightly.

"Watashi wa kowagatte ita…" Shiro trailed off before, collecting his thoughts. "I was scared. I was terrified that you had succumbed to something bigger than yourself."

Keith swallowed dryly, looking into the paladin's eyes, not like he had anywhere else to look. Tears were welling up in eyes (it was something that Keith hated seeing. Shiro was supposed to remain strong no matter what, not to be brought down by something like this.)

"I thought…" Shiro licked his lips. "I thought that you were going to kill Katie… That I was going to have to kill you."

So, it was Pidge – Katie – that he attacked. He could still feel the Galra's (Katie's) skin underneath his claws. Her screams were forever implanted in his brain, and it made him feel sick.

"A-Aniki… K-Katie… is she…"

Shiro moved to gently place a kiss on top of his head. His lips felt weird against him for a second before Keith realized that he was kissing fur and not skin. (He was still Galran.)

"She's going to be fine… She doesn't blame you, Keith… She was adamant on making sure we knew to tell you…"

Keith felt a lump in his throat. Even after all of that (even after what he did), she still trusted him. She didn't blame him. (She had every right to blame him. He was part of the same species that tore her family apart. His kind took away her brother and father who she still is searching desperately for…)

Shiro pulled away just slightly, the warmth he offered leaving a cold spot on Keith's forehead. He studied the younger paladin for a tick before striking up conversation again.

"We… never put you in the cryopod because we were afraid of what'd it would do to you in your… condition."

(They were afraid of putting him in just in case his Galran form messed with the functions. It was set to heal Altean and Human skin, not Galran. Or maybe Princess Allura didn't want him to be healed, all things considered.)

"So… If there's a way you think we can reverse this – even if it's just for the time being…"

Shiro's voiced was killed by the deafening silence. It left an eerie, ear-piercing sound that shouldn't exist – the room was just too quiet. He didn't like it.

"Shi… Shirimasen…" I don't know.

The Black Paladin smiled gently at him, nodding his head slowly as if to say "it's okay." A hand found its way to Keith's cheek, Shiro lovingly stroking it as he thumbed away tears that had fallen with Keith's permission. They both stayed like that as Keith dutifully ignored the throbbing of his body that returned after the conversation kept him from noticing it (how he longed to be put in the cryopod for a week so he didn't have to deal with any of this; so he could hide from his mistakes.)

"Well, you'll just have to suffer it out until you do," Shiro sighed, a hint of playfulness underlying the tiredness he sported.

Keith could only nod numbly, his voice lost to him again. His eyes began to feel like lead again as any energy he recovered evaporated from him once more. The pain never ceased, much to his displeasure, rather it seemed to only get worse as his foggy mind began to focus on it more.

Shiro must have noticed his distress, his eyes crinkling as he frowned.

"Hey," the Black Paladin began softly. His human hand found its way into Keith's matted hair, gently detangling as much as he could as he pet one of Keith's Galran ears. "No matter what happens between us, Keith Kogane, no matter what you look like, you will always be my little brother… Watashi no otouto."

Keith felt overwhelmed with emotion as the words left his lips. "Takanii-chan…" He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but a sudden burst of energy came to him. His arms flew out frantically as he wrapped them around Shiro's – his brother's – neck, sobbing hysterically (it was then he remembered his shoulder was out of place, and that he had a broken hand as he clasped them together behind Shiro's neck.)

The older male met Keith's hug, gently rubbing circles into his back with one hand and thumbing the back of his head with another. He hushed the sobbing boy, telling him that everything was going to be okay, that he was okay.

Shiro pulled away only slightly as Keith's breathing returned to semi-normal. His eyes widened for just a second before the tired eyes sparkled with relief.

"C'mon…" he smiled as he began to lift Keith's broken body swiftly into his arms. "Let's get you into a pod…"

Keith nodded halfheartedly, feeling a rumble of relief from his lion in the back of his head. Relief surged in his heart as well as he watched the purple fur on his exposed arm faded away to his human skin.

"Arigatou, Takanii-chan…" Keith managed to hiccup out. Thank you.

"Ieie, otouto." You're welcome, little brother.