Mr Schuester enters the choir room late as usual, "Kids have a seat. Last week's assignment was to sing about the way you are feeling right now, who'd like to go first?" Rachel practically launches out of her chair, "I would Mr. Schue. I have the perfect song." "Ok Rachel," He sweeps his hand through the air signalling that the floor is hers. Rachel bounds up drops a disc into the cd player, hits play then stands in the centre of the room. As the first chords play the room comes to attention not believing what song the diva is about to perform. Santana stiffens, eyes locking with Rachel daring her to open her mouth. Rachel turns out of Santana's intense glare and hits the notes perfectly while starting to swing her hips.
I love myself I want you to love me
When I feel down I want you above me
I search myself I want you to find me
I forget myself I want you to remind me
Rachel continues her seductive dance while turning to gaze at Santana before blasting into the next lines.
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else Oh no, oh no . . .
"Oh no, no, no!" Schue yells over top of the music before hitting stop on the cd player. Rachel what was that?" He can't even bring himself to look at her, just points to her chair while scanning the confused faces of the rest of his students, "Sit down" He runs his fingers through his hair still trying to figure out what just happened, "Please, please just sit down. The rest of the room is quiet, no one knows exactly what to say or do. Sure they've seen Schue freak out before when dealing with Sue and he was less than impressed with their Push It number but no one had any clue what he'd do about Rachel standing up and singing THAT song! Puck, of course, was the first to break the awkward silence in the room, "Shit Berry . . . " he is cut off by Schue, "Puck language." Before he loses control of the room completely he decides not to even ask her what she was thinking, he decides it would be best to just to move on and hopefully pretend it never happened, "Does anyone else have a song ready?" Rachel, who still hadn't actually sat down spins on her heel to face him, throwing her hands on her hips ready to argue, "Mr. Schue I understand that you might be opposed to the meaning behind the song but . . ." He doesn't let her finish, "Rachel sit NOW!" She frowns and blinks her eyes a couple of times looking like she is about to continue but decides to stomp her foot and flop down in her chair and pout instead. Across the room Santana takes mental note on how childish and innocent she looks for someone who was just singing about masturbating, yet fully aware that the song had been sung directly to her.