Bonnie Rait owns the song "I Can't Make You Love Me" but Adele did a cover of it, so close enough. Adele owns all the other songs, and I will probably keep repeating that line till I die. this one also: Cassandra Clare own the Mortal Instruments

"Up next, Water Under the Bridge by Adele" announces the radio station person.

Jace turns up the music in the car so it's blasting.

my stomach clenches more than a little and I get a small grimace on my face.

"Clary, is everything all right?" Jace asks a little concerned

"Yeah, cramps cause it's that time of the month." I lie.

I love all of her songs; know all of the lyrics by heart. Because I wrote them, about Jace Herondale sitting next to me in this very car. My infatuation with my best friend started as a little crush junior year. I'm pretty sure it has turned into love, but it's not like he noticed me. To him I'm just his best friend. I guess I should be grateful I am this close, but I just want to be closer. I write these poems about being friend zoned and how I would be let down if I tried anything beyond my "zone."

I remember how it started with my common clumsiness...

I was walking back to my locker with my girlfriends Aline and Izzy. I was holding my chemistry book and my notebook that held my poems. I didn't even trust my own backpack to keep them safe, only my arms. we were speed walking so we could get to lunch fast. I mean, I was starving. I tripped on air (it's a common thing... for me) and the contents in my arms spilled out. I didn't care about my stupid chemistry book and ran for the notebook. Ready to dive for it, Aline already picked it up. Izzy's jeans were apparently too tight they would rip if she bent down, she said. Some of the papers spilled from the notebook and Aline started reading them.

"Hey! that's my personal stuff! Why are you reading them?" I nearly shout in the now crowded hallway

"Woah sorry," Aline holds her hands up like I'm pointing a gun at her. "I thought it was chemistry homework and I was just getting a 'head start' on it." Pshhh, that's her reason? I forcefully grab back my notebook and proceed to the cafeteria like nothing happened, but in the inside, I'm freaking out. What if he finds out? I sat by Jace, Izzy, her brother, Simon and Magnus. Aline sat by the cheerleaders, but I didn't mind. After lunch, she came up to me and told me they were fantastic. Then she asked me if I could have one. I had so many, and would probably write many more, that I gave it to her thinking of no ways it could harm me. a month later she brought it up again saying how she made a little song out of it. She played it for me and I loved it. I started singing the song all over the place and Jace asked me where it came from. I lied again and said I heard it on the radio. It's good Aline never asked who they were about. she sang the song and put it up on YouTube. It instantly became a big hit. She asked for some more and I gave them to her. Eventually Aline got a record deal senior year. She told her manager that she didn't write the lyrics, but he told her he signed her for her amazing voice. I kept writing poems about Jace and then giving them to Aline. Since I made half or more of the song, I got some compensation from her fame, but it's all in the bank. Before Aline became famous she went under a pseudonym. Adele. my middle name, as a secret tribute to me. I didn't want to be in the spotlight so I facetimed Aline at least once a week. And I mailed her my heart and soul pieces through the mail. Good 'ole pen and paper style.

Now Aline-my bad-Adele, is a pop sensation singing about lost loves and heartbreaks, while Jace and I are still in college. The paparazzi constantly ask her who's the special man. I always snicker when the news comes up about how Aline was hanging around with this guy, so it must be him. When really they should be reporting on who's her special lady. She already has one, Helen, but she likes to act like they're best friends because she's scared of being judged.

"Clary, we're here" as we pull into the apartment complex. Jace and I decided to share an apartment to save money instead of living in dorms and it works out perfectly. We both go to Columbia University and I absolutely love it here. Simon goes to Harvard (of course) so I still get to see him sometimes. I always text him to see how he's doing and he seems to be doing great, at least he has a girlfriend. Izzy is a great girl for him and they're perfect together.

"What are you thinking about?" Oh, I just realized the car is parked and I'm still sitting in it.

"Just about Simon and Izzy and how they're perfect for each other" I reply.

"Rat Boy? I hardly thing so, but whatever makes Izzy happy."

"Yeah, they started out as friends, then good friends, then ended up dating. Doesn't that sound so perfect?" I push the feeling of desperation back down so it doesn't reach my voice. If only that would happen to me.

"I guess." he shrugs then gets out of the car

"It sounds pretty damn perfect to me." I'm getting a little frazzled with his careless attitude about relationships, or maybe I'm just overreacting.

"Why do you care so much about Simon and Izzy's relationship?" Because we were friends, and now we're good friends, and now you date every girl in this college... but me. My life is a plot twist.

But instead of saying that I just say "They are just cute together, you know I'm such a romantic. I can't help it." Then I get out of the car as well and we walk silently up the stairs.

Back in the apartment, Jace goes straight to his room. I stop by the tank. If anyone saw me talking to my fish they would think I'm crazy, maybe I am.

"Oh Raziel, when will he ever notice me." Jace and I got the fish together to christen and guard our apartment when we're gone, that was a fun day. Then I walk into a mess which is my room. I pick up my pen and my notebook, which I've had since junior year of high school, and I start to write. I major in art and minor in creative writing. Jace majors in music and minors in working out. Okay... that's not actually a minor but he seems to do it a lot. Just thinking about him makes me bittersweet. I love him and he makes me happy, but he doesn't love me back or even like me for that matter.

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

The pen just glides over the paper as easily as easily and the tears come to my eyes. I am so weak for crying over a guy who doesn't like me back... it's not like I'm dying or anything. Clary get your shit together. You've liked this guy for four years now. you're a big girl and big girls don't cry about their love lives.

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see

The love you don't feel when you're holding me

Morning will come and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

I feel all written out now. It only seems like a couple lines but that's all I have in me. I keep running out of emotions, and then when Jace touches my cheek or gives me a hug, the butterflies in my body don't seem so dead anymore. Instead of wallowing in my self-pity, I decide I'm going to go out. Probably order myself a burger and eat in a seat for two, by myself.

I knock or Jace's door but he doesn't answer. I turn the knob and open the door just a crack. I see him lying on his bed talking on his phone with a smile on his face. I wonder who he's talking to.

"Sorry, I have to go." I hear him chuckle. That's when I realize I've been staring at him for quite a while. I try to my escape, but not before he catches me. Huh, I guess I can never cross of "getaway driver" from my bucket list.

"Clary!"

"Oh, uh yeah sorry about that, I just came to tell you I was going out," I take a leap of faith," do you wanna come with me? I was just thinking of going to Taki's or something. I'll be back before our 'Freaky Film Friday.' I could never miss it." After a couple seconds later, he responds.

"I'd love to go, but I can't there's a party at the Whitewillow's. I'll be back before FFF definitely"

I inwardly roll my eyes. Of course, Jace Herondale has something better to do then hang out with good old Clary Fray. I really shouldn't have expected anything else, I mean he does it every week, it's just that I don't ask him to come with me often so I thought he might drop the party life for a moment to hang out with me.

"Oh yeah, of course, no problem, my bad, of course." I ramble when I get embarrassed. Not so much when I get rejected though. I look at the floor," I'll be out. See ya later."

And with that, I walk out of the apartment order a burger and some fries, sit down by myself and enjoy the single life. yay.