DISCLAIMER and AUTHORS NOTE: Scrubs is owned by Bill Lawrence and the ABC Network (as of Season 8). I own nothing, not even some semblance of a plot on this one, though I really, really wish I did. It is such a fun idea, and all I really have to say about this story is that I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. That is all.

Definition from Wiktionary.

MY PARIAH

n. pariah (plural pariahs) – an outcast; a person who is rejected (from society or home); someone in exile.

Perry Cox was going insane.

He had to be, because things like this just didn't happen every day. In fact, they never happened. Never, ever, ever. But it was happening, and it was happening now, and he had to be going insane because his thoughts were rapidly degenerating into a downward spiral of distress, breaking off into wild tangents that he had to consciously struggle to keep up with. The detached, objective part of him—the part that made such a damn good doctor, the part he showed every day in the hospital—considered that maybe, just maybe, he was in shock, but that thought was quickly dismissed along with all others when the object of his such explosive reaction made his way toward him.

"Don't you dare come anywhere near me, you hear?"

The figure that had been quick to approach him stopped in his tracks, wide blue doe-eyes filling with hurt. Perry felt a vague sense of guilt about what he said, but he couldn't really blame himself for such an outburst. He was terrified, damn it, and after what he'd just seen, who could blame him? His eyes averted to the twisted pile of metal to the side of him, still smoking from the rupture of the impact.

Is that what he was calling it now? The impact?

Really, Per, you shouldn't name things. Ever. Especially when you don't know who—what it is.

He didn't have the luxury of wrapping his mind around the fact that his inner voice sounded uncannily like his ex-wife, because the figure in front of him—the impact—was standing right before him, having slowly crept up on him anyway, even after he'd frantically told him not to. The same impact was now reaching a hand down to grasp his own and propel him upwards, away from the wreck.

Perry jerked his hand like the touch burned. It didn't, of course, but it might as well have.

Another flash of hurt in those eyes. Another stab of guilt in his gut.

"I'm going insane," he said with conviction, motioning towards the tangled wreck that was his Porsche. "Because you did not just fling that thing like it was a toy, and not the two-tonne motor vehicle it really was."

"You're in shock, Doctor Cox," came the cultured reply.

Perry growled.

"Yeah, I am," he replied, perhaps a little too quickly. But the bitter rage was thick on his tongue, and once he threw himself into a rant, it was insanely hard to get him out of it. "I am in shock, but not because of what you just did. I don't understand it, and I'm not sure if I can accept it yet, but what is unacceptable is that you let me find out about this!"

Blue eyes fell downcast. "I know, and I'm sorry. I don't want you to have to protect my secret, Doctor Cox, and if there was any way I could take it back, erase the memory from your mind so you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, I would do it in a heartbeat." He laughed shakily. "But unfortunately, that's one superpower I don't have."

Perry's rage grew thicker. Trust him to misunderstand me. He drew in a deep sigh, and then did something he knew he was going to regret.

"JD."

Those same blue eyes flitted up to his, in mild shock and pleasure at hearing his name pass Perry's lips.

He growled again, this time inwardly, but it lacked his usual edge. Don't get used to it, kid.

"I'm not angry that this puts me in danger. Don't get me wrong, I have no idea why, since I'm pretty sure the dangers associated with keeping this thing a secret will most likely be horrific and life-threatening and something I absolutely do na-hot want to get myself caught up in. But what I am angry about—furious, even—is that your ability to hide this is so incredibly lax. If I can find out about this—" he motioned wildly to the still-smoking wreck, and then to where JD stood, completely unscathed even though Perry had seen with his own eyes the way he had impacted into his Porsche, leaving a Newbie-shaped hole in the front of it. "—about you, then so can other people. Bad people. And I hate to burst your bubble, Carol dear, but not everybody in this god-forsaken dump is as calm and composed about this as I am."

Perry watched as JD nodded slowly, allowing what he had said to sink in. Though he'd never—nee-hever—tell, Perry was secretly relieved he had found out about this. It meant that he could keep a close eye on Newbie, protect him and clean up after him if he needed to. Oh, he'd still be a complete and utter bastard about it, absolutely, but JD was his responsibility. And if that meant keeping his supposed invulnerability a secret, then that was what he'd do.

In a sarcastic, mean, Perry Cox way, of course. The kid didn't get off easy, after all.

Neither, it seemed, would he. Perry didn't doubt that this sort of thing left quite a dramatic mess, his totalled car a testament to this theory. And how the hell was he going to explain this one to the police, let alone any eye-witnesses?

JD seemed to sense what he was thinking and god, Perry hoped telepathy wasn't another of his abilities. He could barely handle some of the remotely-emotional thoughts he had sometimes, let alone having to share that with someone else, and if he absolutely had to, Newbie was the last person on his list. Nonetheless, be it mind-reading or simple intuition, JD said: "Don't worry, nobody saw us."

"How can you be so sure?"

JD shrugged. "I kind of lied about that whole not-having-memory-manipulating abilities thing."

Shit.

"Does that mean you're going to—"

JD's eyes widened. "No, of course not." There was a single beat before he continued, looking nervous and excited at the same time to be telling him this. "It's less erasing a person's memory and more getting them to ignore what they'd seen. They might think they saw or heard a crash, but perhaps something easily fixable. They definitely didn't see me throw my entire body into destroying your Porsche." He averted his eyes again. "Sorry about that, by the way."

Perry shook his head. "It's insured, though I doubt they'll be able to repair it."

"I think not."

"You're exiled to the back seat, though, forever."

JD smirked. "Oh, don't worry about it, Doctor Cox. I can run faster than your car can drive."

Perry simply stared at him. JD flushed.

"Kidding. Sort of."

Perry massaged his temples, feeling a killer migraine coming on. "This is going to take some getting used to, isn't it?"

JD nodded slowly. "I think so. But I'm really glad you know, Doctor Cox." He looked up at Perry earnestly. "You have no idea how hard it is, to keep such a monumentally big thing behind closed lips. Not even being able to tell the people closest to me. It's... hard, to say the least. Like wearing a mask, but all the time."

Perry twitched uncomfortably at the sudden turn the conversation seemed to be taking. He rubbed his forehead, which flared slightly in pain from the force of the collision. Newbie was no soft impact, that was for certain.

After a moment, he asked: "Shouldn't we be getting out of here, don't you think? Memory manipulation or not, somebody's going to notice us eventually."

JD nodded again. "I guess so. What should we do now?"

Perry grimaced. "Go to the hospital, of course. Unlike you, I am still subject to human fragility."

"I kind of forgot that, actually," JD replied, grinned sheepishly. They began to walk their way towards Sacred Heart, which loomed in the distance. Perry figured he should probably take solace in the fact that the accident only happened a block away from the hospital, and nothing more, but the bad mood associated with his headache made the matter irrelevant.

Just as Perry was wallowing in the dark turn his thoughts had taken, something seemed to occur to JD. "Wait, so all that 'stay the hell away from me' stuff was your idea of calm and composed?"

Perry growled for the third time in so many minutes. "Invulnerable nor not, Newbie, I will kill you if you continue to provoke me. You may be a proverbial man of steel, but I am still more competent than you in every other department."

JD grinned then, and Perry smiled back at him. But only for a moment.

He had his own mask to hide behind, after all.

AUTHORS NOTE: I watch too much Smallville. That's my grand excuse for writing this. That and it was insanely fun to channel Perry again, after working with JD for so long in My Trigger.

-- Exangeline