Reverend Putty walked into the cathedral. He was sad, because nobody loved him. Currently. He figured that might change eventually, but..who knows. He lied down on the pew and frowned. Whatever was wrong, it definitely wasn't him. No way.
Before he could continue figuring out exactly what the problem was, his favourite headache entered the building.
"Hello Reverend! What's wrong?"
Stupid innocent kid. Had no idea WHY he was so upset. It wasn't like he could explain it to him even if he wanted to though. He would never get it! He sat up and turned to the little guy. He inspected the kid. What to say, what to say? He was sure he'd already used every excuse in the book. So. If he wouldn't understand, no matter what..would telling the truth hurt? Well, with him saying almost anything could hurt. So, to hell with it!
"I'm upset because I can't get a date, Orel."
That almost seemed to give him some pause. He thought maybe he'd just go. Wouldn't any normal person, or at least kid, feel so awkward and uncomfortable he'd up and leave? Yeah, maybe any normal person. But, hey, maybe he'd get lucky and Orwell would act like a normal kid for once! Of course, that's just wishful thinking, Putty was never a lucky man. He wouldn't leave. Good old- annoyingly predictable Orel.
"I could be your date."
"Yeah, yeah, never as-"
Wait. What? That's not what he was expecting. Not even in the ballpark of things he was expecting. Jesus, no! There were so many reasons to say no. So many reasons why it was wrong. So many reasons he might go to Hell for even suggesting the idea. He should say no. Any responsible priest would say no. Any responsible adult would say no. Any normal adult would say no! But..he'd sensed an opportunity. One an unlucky man could never pass up. He needed all the help he could get.
Women love a taken man, don't they? Everybody wants what they can't have- as a priest he knows that better than anyone. So, maybe if he said he was dating..and had a certain little guy to back that up..who knows?
It's not like he'd actually do anything wrong. Which sounded suspect, sure, but if you couldn't trust a man of the cloth around little guys, who could ya? The plan seemed simple, but Orel did have the uncanny ability to screw anything up. Which meant this plan not only had to be fool-proof, but Orel-screwing-up-proof. And it did seem borderline impossible, but he was no quitter. Especially when it came to ending his involuntary celibacy.