Title: Don't let fear lead the way
Author: Me; aka The Quiet Jo
Pairing: Klaine, of course…!
Rating: T to M. But rated M to be on the safe side for what's to come in later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything that has to do with it. Just a big fan like so many others.
Summary:
"You can't let fear stay in the way of us living our lives" Blaine said to me "We can't let them win anymore. We have to create our own happiness"
"You're right" I answered him and felt more alive than ever before "Let's do it"
Kurt and Blaine meet during their sophomore year (They are the same age). They start out with a friendship that could be growing into something more as they decided to keep it all a secret. But they want to live every moment in their life to the fullest and they might have the best idea to do so. KLAINE.
AN:
My first fanfic ever… It's all Klaine and I hope someone out there might like it.
Chapter one
10 months into the future…
The boy was kneeling on the ground, crying out of pain and heartache. He wished he could disappear and that was fast. The ground could swallow him whole and he would just be glad. The sooner all of this was over the better. He didn't care how it all ended, just that it would somehow. The humiliation he was suffering from was beyond comparison to anything he had ever experienced before.
A crowd was starting to take it's form. His eyes were closed from fear but he could feel the stares burning on his back. By the sound of it more people were starting to gather around, but no one did anything. He heard the whispers and knew that most of them had seen and heard it all. The most horrible moment in his life so far and they had all been witnesses to it. The familiar voices of his 'so-called friends' came from behind him and he could hear the shock in their voices as they slowly were trying to understand what just happened. None of them took any action in stopping the horrific scene in front of them. They only let it continue.
Giant tears were falling down the boy's cheek and a quiver escaped his lips. He had never cried like this before, the tears were running down his cheeks freely and they had no end. It seemed impossible to make them stop. He wanted to dry them away but his body was paralyzed with fear. He was unable to move so much as a finger, there was no strength left in him. It had all been sucked out of him. The boy had never been this scared in his life before, completely petrified by the teenager standing in front of him.
The feeling of hate washed over the boy. He hated the teenager for all the pain he had caused. He had ruined the boy's life and the only thing that was good in it. It didn't seem to be enough though as the teenager this afternoon had taken things to the extreme.
The boy couldn't help to think how all of this had happened? How could people be so cruel? How can somebody have the nerve to completely tear down another person without a thought of the consequences? He knew the answerers to those questions and wished that he had done things differently. Then maybe things would be better, and then maybe he wouldn't have lost it all. But he only had the reality to live in and reality was now a cruel thing.
It all seemed so dark with no way out. The boy would be stuck on the ground crying until the teenager chooses to surrender. If he was unlucky the worst part was yet to come. He begged and prayed to whatever was out there to make it stop. What had he done to deserve this?
Then suddenly a little light began to flicker in the boy's mind and heart as he could feel another presence approaching. Something familiar and warm was rushing through his body and it gave him the confidence and strength to open his eyes slightly.
With his eyes somewhat ajar it dawned on him what was about to happen. Panic was now swooshing through the boy as realization hit him hard. The only thing on his mind was a big NO, his inner voice screaming in fear.
"Please don't" was forming on his lips but the lack of strength in his voice only turned it into a whisper. He dreaded the inevitable and knew that he was right that the worst was yet to come. For whatever they had done to the boy it could only turn a hundred times worse now. He closed his eyes not wanting to be a witness to what was about to happen. He hoped and begged with all of his heart that this was a dream and that he would soon wake up in his warm and comfy bed safe and sound.
Then somebody spoke up…
Present day – 10 months earlier
Kurt…
I'm surrounded by garbage, stinking old trash that people have thrown away just like they have with me. It's the truth. I'm not wanted more than an old milk cartoon on my right with fading shades of colors and unreadable letters.
I may be a bit harsh to myself but lying in the dumpster in my school's parking lot really helps to open my eyes. The fact that I am lying here alone and nobody has yet come to my rescue makes it all clear. I am a loser and even the few friends that I have are afraid of helping me out, with risk of getting stuck on the bottom of McKinley High's social latter. They just need to open their own eyes for a moment and realize that they are already there.
It's crazy how people can be so uncaring, to put it nicely, as the football players at my school. They are what makes my life suck big time right now. I was only minding my own business when I got to school early today with the hopes of avoiding the Neanderthals as I like to call them. But no, they had to be here just as early as me waiting for the first victim of the day to torture. With their lack of imagination I ended up in the dumpster yet again, like I have so many times before. Can't I be left alone for just one day? I don't think that is too much to ask for.
But I shouldn't be put down by the fact that I'm not popular and that the football players are idiots with no brains. If you look past the slushies, harsh words and locker pushes then my life is getting better. Last year I was a freshman now I am a sophomore and I have grown during summer. Come to terms with the fact that I only have three years left in this stinky old town and then I will show the world all the fabulousness that I, Kurt Hummel, am.
I take a deep breath as the bell is signaling the beginning of the school day. I look up at the clear blue sky with no cloud in sight and try to concentrate at the beautiful day instead of the misery called my life. I do my best to get out of the dumpster. It can be a little tricky but I learned from last year that I can get help from the tree on the side and minimize the risk of falling head first.
I manage to get out with grace and find my Alexander McQueen jacket lying on the ground. I debate for a second if I should put it on or not and come to the conclusion that I first need to change my clothes, because unfortunately I do smell like garbage. I always have an extra outfit in my locker for emergencies like this. There is absolutely no way that I will walk around school all day smelling like last week's lunches.
I hurry across the school's parking lot, not wanting to be later than I already am. I open the doors to the school and inspect the hallway to find it empty. I sigh with relief and get to my locker and bring out my extra pair of clothes. I make my way to the boy's bathroom and do my best to keep up with my marvelous appearance. There is nothing that says that I can't be a well-dressed loser.
…
The day drags on and I manage to stay out of the football players way. It is lunch and I am sitting alone at a table waiting for some of my fellow glee-club members to join me. Lunch is always nerve-wracking, the stares that people keep giving us in glee-club and especially me is not friendly. But with my mind focus on my food I pretend that I don't see them nor feel their stares.
"This isn't lunch" an obnoxious voice says and then the person who the voice belongs to take a seat at the table. "How am I supposed to get all of the food groups in my system in order to stay healthy when you can't even tell what food group this junk is?"
"It's cafeteria food, Rachel" I answered her "It's a food group of its own" Rachel starts picking on her food and I fully understand her. Sometimes I feel like I am cafeteria food. I am not what people want but they have no choice but to eat it. And just like cafeteria food I don't fit in to any group, I stand by myself alone. There is no one like me. I heard on television and have read it in the newspaper that somewhere out there in the big world there is people like me. People who are gay.
That's who I am. I won't deny it but I'm not telling anyone about it willingly either. I have never said it out loud but I don't need to. It's like an unspoken knowledge at the school that I am gay. I guess that my sense for fashion isn't something that you could expect from a straight man.
But it gets lonely. I wish for someone like me, someone who I can talk to and someone who will understand me. But most of all I wish for someone who'll want me, not as a friend but as a boyfriend. Someone I like and who will return my feelings. My wishes are unrealistic because there is no way that my dreams can come true here in Lima, Ohio a small town who has been blessed with a football team full of idiots and bullies.
Blaine…
I drive into the parking lot of my new school since two weeks back, Dalton Academy. It's an all-boys school which should be heaven for someone like me, but I still find it intimidating. I don't think I'll ever feel at ease at a school after what happened during spring.
I park in a spot far away so no one will see me collect myself and find the courage to step out of the car. I turn off the engine and sit for a moment. I can feel my heart rate increasing as I dread the day that awaits me. I take one deep breath and really hold it in before I let it out. I then take another one, trying to calm myself. I shouldn't be as nervous and anxious as I am. Things are different now. Better. For the first time I have people talk to me in the hallways and people who actually seem to want to be with me and not just doing me a favor. There was just one person at my old school who talked with me for me and that didn't end well.
I take one last breath and then gather enough of courage to get out of the safety of my car and walk over the crowded parking lot. I look down at the ground as I walk a habit I pick up during last year. Something I like to recall freshman year from hell.
I continue to glare at the ground as I make my way through the big oak doors and into the school. The building is full of boys all dressed the same. The blue blazers and red ties. It creates unity and goes well with the school's policy against no bullying. That's what I liked about the school and what my last truly lacked. Here I know that if I really want to be myself and show everyone the true me than the school would back me up. I know that there are a few boys that have taken the step out of the closet. I on the other hand have no plan on taking that giant step. I already done it once and it didn't work out well.
"Blaine" I hear someone call from behind me. I quickly glance up and notice two guys by the entrance of the school. The boys' names are Wes and David and they are the two people that I've come to like the most during these past two weeks of my sophomore year.
"Are you ready for your first Warbler practice today?" Wes asks me with a big grin on his face.
"Umm…" I start but don't know how to continue. Sure, it was nice to engage myself in something, but in singing? That is only something I do when I am alone and no one can hear me. But Wes and David had convinced me last week to audition and so I had done and got in. I still think I only got in because both Wes and David are on the council.
"You don't have to be nervous" David interrupted my thinking. "You'll do fine, we were all impressed by your audition and with a little training you will take the whole school by storm"
I laughed nervously. These boys are all so nice and treat me so well.
"I guess it's going to be fun" I shrug and take some deep breaths yet again. The air my body inhales these days is giving my brain too much oxygen and resulting in a headache.
The bell rings and everybody hurry to class, including me. After two weeks I haven't learned the building well enough that I sometimes take a wrong turn and have to do some running so I won't be late. The school building is old, at least more than 50 years. It feels like you're in a castle with big marble stairs and fancy paintings.
But a new school and a big fancy old building and joining a club won't change the fact that I am alone. Alone when it comes to who I am and alone when it comes to love. I am tired of it and I want someone to share things with. I want someone who can make my life better and someone who wants to share it with me. I may be young but I know that I hate going through life completely alone.
AN:
So, there you have it. The first chapter of my first story.