Meant To Say Goodbye

A Holy Rome story.

Remember all the things we wanted

Love. We wanted love. We sat in the meadow fields, holding each other close as the sunlight receded into the distance. We wanted our love to last.

Now all our memories, they're haunted

Stained in blood, written in slander, hollowed by grief. That's how the memories remain.

We were always meant to say goodbye

Just like that day, when the war's sirens called. I collected my first kiss, and left without another word. I disappeared into the distance in a flurry of black, leaving my precious love behind. War always called me back. It wanted me to say goodbye.

Even with our fist held high, yeah

Pointing to the stars in the sky. She was always so smart when it came to astronomy. She would draw out shapes amongst the little glittering dots, telling me their meanings. Cradled in the flower bed, I listened in awe to the wonders this world has to offer.

It never would've worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

No matter how or which I looked at it, the scenario ended the same. I would always have to leave, answering the battle cries of distant enemies. Saying goodbye would just become a common occurrence. It would be as easy as saying hello.

I didn't want us to burn out

I wanted our love to last forever.

I didn't come here to hurt you

That's the last thing I would want to do. She is so precious to me...

Now I can't stop

I just keep leaving. I keep saying goodbye.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road someone's gotta go

That final goodbye was my last. Death awaited me the next time I entered the meadows. My blood dripped onto the blossoming petals as I used what little strength I had to call her name. I didn't expect her to come but I wish she did. I wanted to tell her I loved her.

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

So many unspoken words. I wish I could have just talked to her one more time. The only memory of her that remained is her crying figure as I left. I wanted a more peaceful recollection. But all I can think about is her sorrow. I'm sorry Chibitalia. I hurt her so many times. It's unforgivable.

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I think I took my last breath in the meadow where our love was shelter, underneath the stars. I'm not sure. I hope you can understand. I didn't want to. I wanted to stay with you forever. But like they say, when you love something, set it free. I love you. So now, you're free.

Looking at you makes it harder

But somehow, I still managed to say goodbye.

But I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry

That's what you deserve Chibitalia. Someone that doesn't make your precious tears spill from your eyes. You don't deserve to watch them recede into the distance, following the wars beck and call.

Started with a perfect kiss then

It was such a magnificent thing. I was honored to be your first.

We could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

I wish I didn't leave. Or at least, I think I left. Dying was a little foggy for me. I'm not sure if it happened.

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

Chibitalia. I love you so much. More than words can describe. If war didn't take me away, I would stay by your side forever.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road someone's gotta go

I'm just glad you didn't have to die. Or it felt like dying. I still don't know. I'm still happy you didn't have to see your crimson blood leaking from your body onto the flowers. It was really sickening for me.

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

I was the happiest person alive with you in my arms. I will forever treasure the memories of us together.

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone.

Now, I'm somewhere else. The trees cloak me as I walk, weary of something but I'm not sure what. The gun against my back is heavy and it takes all my willpower not to shift it. I am surprised to see this random box, waiting in the middle of the trail. I am confused as I approach it. I say something that I can't even hear, making the box shiver.

"I'm a box of tomato fairies~"

I'm not buying it. Quickly trying to pry open the box, the contents start to squeal in protest. One final heave and the lid comes flying off, the momentum knocking me back. A boy pops out of the box, pleading for me not to hurt him, that he was sorry he wasn't a box of tomato fairies.

He looked like you Chibitalia.

I would never understand I was reborn. I was anew. I would never comprehend that the box of 'tomato fairies' was you. I set you free, because I loved you. Now you've come back, because it was meant to be. Maybe we weren't meant to say goodbye.

The song is Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson. The moment I heard it, I instantly thought of Chibitalia and Holy Rome.

-Soul Spirit-