Title: She Had Time

Author: Ice Cube

Rating: K

Spoilers: Tag on for Verdict in the Story, and a small spoiler for the end of Intern in the Incinerator

Disclaimer: Right, if I owned them anywhere outside of my dreams, the characters that are forthwith mentioned in this story would be making me a lot of money and very happy…so no, they aren't mine, and I'm a broke college student who has no money, so if you're going to sue, feel free, you won't get anything.

Characters: Boothcentric

Archives: Feel free; just let me know where so I can find it again.

Summary: How could she expect him to do this? Why did she think that he could compartmentalize like she could? Why couldn't he lie? Boothcentric tag to Verdict in the Story

Warnings: Angst. Definite angst. And really, a lot shorter than normal, but it's been a couple of years, so I'm definitely rusty.

I don't have my stories beta'd, I'm too impatient to wait for someone to proof it after I've written it, so I apologize for any mistakes, and if you email me to tell me that they're there, I'll fix them later. Reviews are always a plus, it's great to know that people are reading my stories and like them, but as I'm a horrible reviewer, I won't hold my breath for them. Flames, however, will be treated with the utmost respect they deserve…they will be ignored completely or poked fun at with friends.

That said, on with the tale…

"Are you going to betray me?"
"No."

-.- Brennan and Booth Intern in the Incinerator

Why did those words have to come back to haunt me now? I'm sitting on the stand at quite possibly one of the most important trials of my career and I have to be objective. Isn't that what she would want – for me to be objective? She keeps telling us all that she wants us to testify, that she wants us to fight to have Max incarcerated – but what about incriminating her? How could she believe that I would be able to do that? The justice system works. It's there for a reason. There shouldn't be any doubt here. I should be able to answer the questions Barron's posing to me. They're cut and dried, and if it was any other case, I wouldn't be having a problem. But I sent her down this road. I didn't think for a minute that she would go this route, that she would sacrifice herself so fully for someone who had abandoned her and was completely different than she remembered.

"I see where you're going with this."

I see it, Bones, but how can you expect that I will be able to live with myself. I don't want to do it. I want to see anything else inside my head other than you standing behind Kirby with the same cold look that I pictured your father having when he killed him. Kirby was a son of a bitch who didn't deserve the title that he had, didn't deserve to be in law enforcement. But I know you, Bones. I know you better than you know yourself some days. And I know that the cold exterior you try to portray is just a front to protect yourself. I've seen you melt that front away. With the foster children we dealt with at the beginning, when you realized that your family wasn't who you thought they were and broke in Vince's barn, when I was missing. You have the biggest heart around, and I don't know how you can expect me to do this.

"Yes, she had motive. Kirby tried to kill her brother."

That heart of yours has gotten you in trouble in the past. It gives you this innocence that lets you go through life not understanding that the brain and the heart are different objects to rationalize with. You love rationalizing with your brain, but I forced you to put that aside and you're definitely running with it. You finally saw with your heart what everyone has been trying to show you all along. What Angela was trying to show us all when she refused to help incriminate Max. You have let your heart open up to the possibility that your family is rightfully important to you. That they always have been. But that love for your family has me wondering now. If you're this willing to sacrifice yourself now, could you have murdered Kirby to protect them? No, Bones, you couldn't. And no matter what you think you're doing, I still have to try and save you. I have to try and protect you. Maybe you knew that and left me an out?

"Bones was with me all day."

There's simply no way I can let you go down for this. I'd like to think that I can read people pretty well, and I know what you're doing. Hell, I knew what you were doing before we came in here today, but you asked me…you asked me if I would betray you, and God damn it Bones, now you're forcing my hand. I don't have the strength Angela had, and I'm 100 percent positive that you don't want that. But what about what I want Bones? What about the fact that I agreed to bring you out into the field three years back and now I get to feel like I failed to protect you for all my troubles. You needed to get out there, to really experience life the way that the victims you return to thankful families did before they met their ends. But sometimes I can't help wondering whether or not you would have been safer in the lab? I guess you still would have found your mother, and the series of events that led up to this would have unfolded, but without that trust we've built.

"Forty-five minutes, we were apart. But we talked on the phone."

Why did you have to tell him that? Why couldn't you have given me an out? I don't want to do this. To be the one who shows the jury and everyone watching that you may not belong in the limelight they've put you in. We know you. Your family knows that no matter what, you couldn't have done what your father did and been so afraid of that blood pool in your apartment. I know you're just lodging reasonable doubt. I know that the only way to do that without perjury was to incriminate one of us. And I know that for all your complaints that I am the alpha male, you would never sacrifice me to the wolves when you were there to step in the way. But what about the fact that I want to step in front of those wolves for you?

"That's a lot of heart, Bones."

God, now I can't get that image out of my head. Barron's done an excellent job painting a picture of what you could have done. I can see what he's trying to make the jurors see. I have to get that image out of my head. I have to try and get it out of theirs. I know and respect what you're trying to do, but I can't let you throw yourself on your sword, I just can't. Your father is not nearly as important to me as you are. You've come so far these past few years into learning what it means to really live.

"Could Bones have killed Kirby? Y…Temperance Brennan, I've worked with this woman. I've stood over death with her; I've faced down death with her. Sweets, he's brilliant. He is, but he's wrong. She could not have done this."

I'm talking to you directly now, Bones. Telling you that no matter what words come out of my mouth next, no matter what the jury decides, there is simply no way that I believe that the truth tells the real story this time. You said that the truth was not really truth until it was proven, and you said that psychology was a soft science. But all of my background in reading people proves to me that the truth is more than just a hypothesis in this case. There is no way you could have done that. Now me, that's another story. If I had further concrete proof that Kirby was a direct threat to you? God, why couldn't you have let them incriminate me instead? Maybe that would have evened the cosmic balance sheet just a little. Means, motive, and opportunity. I had all three, and far more training than you in how to exercise death in a cold, calculated manner. It was my specialty, and is now a constant reminder of the penance that I need to work on every day. And part of that penance has become helping you in every way that you ask. With everything that you need and in every avenue that you choose to pursue. I don't know if this counts as penance, but I'll help you this time too. Just like every other time you need me.

"Yes, she had time."

Betrayal. It's such a strong word, and it's completely encompassing everything I'm feeling right now. I've sat through as much of the deliberation as I can stand, and I know you're outside hurting. I have to try and do something to lessen that hurt. To know that this is what you wanted and didn't want all at the same time. I'm so afraid Bones. I'm so afraid that by helping you I've let you down somehow. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to hear me up there, telling the jury that you had means, motive, and opportunity. It must feel like yet another person in your life has abandoned you. I'll support you as we wait for Caroline and Barron and whoever else leaves that courtroom free, but I know that there's no way a jury can convict Max. And when you're safe with your real family, I'll step aside. I'm no better than they were when you were fifteen, and I can't pretend to be there as part of your celebration when I feel like this. I don't deserve to be able to take comfort in the fact that you're happy now. You asked me blatantly that night like you do if I would betray you, and I promised you that I wouldn't. You trusted me and you believed me, and you put me in a position where I could do nothing besides break that promise to you. The only way I can even pretend to make it a little better now is to walk away. I don't belong with you right now, can't even imagine that what I've done is okay when it feels so bad. Even if what I've done is okay because it gave you back your family. I betrayed you, and there's nothing I can do to change that now.

Okay, so that was it. I couldn't get it out of my head and when I was watching that episode, the idea of betrayal/not betrayal kept running across Booth's face and then the quote hit me. So if you could leave me a note about what you think - of the story, of the idea, of the episode, of anything really, I'd appreciate it. Thanks so much!

Cube