How Do You Know?

One-Shot

How do you know if you're in love? I mean, really? I know that it's different from a crush, but still similar in some rights. But really, how are you supposed to know? I've heard so many different stories and theories on how to know if you're in love, but all of them only seem to leave me more confused than the next.

You're in love when you'll do anything to make them smile.

You're in love when a spark shoots through you when they touch you.

You're in love when you want to kill them and kiss them at the same time.

You're in love when you're willing to die for them.

You're in love when you feel complete when you're around them.

You're in love when you can't live without them.

You're in love when you're boiling with rage when they talk to someone of the opposite gender that's not you.

So many different stories, theories, facts. How do you know? I know love is complicated, because I have no idea how I feel. I don't know if I hate her, like her, like-her like-her, or love her. And all these different theories are making me dizzy.

Okay, so I know I don't hate her. But... I sometimes feel like I do. I mean, I always feel so anxious around her. And sometimes I just want to hit her, and other times I want to throw my arms around her. My heart flutters just ever so slightly, and I always feel kinda queasy. I'm really jumpy around her. And other times, I just stare at her, because I... I think she looks kinda cute. I know that I dream about her a lot, and when I think about her I can't help but smile. I always get this excited rush going throughout me when she's near. And I'm afraid to talk to her, because... what if I say something to hurt her feelings? Or make her mad at me? She's usually the first thing to pop into my head when I wake up, and she's always the last thing I'm thinking about before I go to sleep. I know that I love being around her, and when I'm not, I think about her a lot... maybe more than I should... I always laugh at her jokes, even if I don't really think it's funny, because I just want to make her feel good about herself. I'm always talking about her, even though I know it annoys my friends a lot. And I always feel so comfortable around her, like I can truly be myself. But sometimes I'm afraid to be myself, because I'm afraid she won't like who I truly am.

But how do I know if all that is love?

I mean, I don't know if I'd go to the ends of the earth to make her smile.

I know that I get this warm feeling going throughout me when our hands so much as touch.

I know that there are definitely times I'd love to hurt her, but I never could, because then I'd never forgive myself. And I always want to kiss her.

I don't think I'd be willing to die for her. But I know that life seems empty without her.

I don't know if I feel complete when she's near, but I do feel... calm, and relaxed... yet still with that feeling like I just got off a roller coaster.

I know that I can live without her, because I've been doing it for about five years now. But I know that I'd never be able to spend a single day without her passing through my mind, and I'll never be able to date another girl without comparing them to her, and I know they'll always come up short.

And I'm not boiling with rage and jealousy when she's talking to some other guy. But I do feel all jumbled up inside, and it's really hard to keep the scowl off my face. And I feel kinda jittery, like I really want to just step forward and stop them from talking.

But how do I know if that's love? I know that it's different from all the crushes I had before her, and it's definitely lasted longer than all the others.

Heck, I was almost sure I loved her for almost five years. But even though I told her I did, I was never completely sure.

But I'm coming home tomorrow, and I need to know how I feel.

But how do I know if all this is love? Love is different for everyone, and no one can describe it. Though a lot of people write it out to be really extreme, like so much as seeing them makes you melt into a puddle. But I don't know if that's very accurate. I know a lot of people say it's the most beautiful thing you can feel in the world, but, frankly...

I'm not sure if I like it or not, because I feel really confused and I don't know what to do.

All I know is I miss her, and I can't wait to see her again.

But whether I love Helga or not, I'm not sure I'll ever know.

A/N: Okay, so it's Arnold, and he's talking about Helga. He's been off with his parents for a few years now, and he's coming home, and he's confused about his feelings.

I'm confused about my feelings.

I probably shouldn't let my own conflicted feelings effect my writing so much, but if I didn't, then I wouldn't be human now would I?

Review...

*Scratches head with perplexed look*