Title: Superheroes
Pairing: Elle
Rating: T
Summary: Elle after she leaves the show.
Author's Notes: song - "Superheroes" - Dani Shay
She sits. Bare feet against cheap carpet. The cold iron of the border of the coffee table pressed against her knees. It's cool, a drastic change from the hot stagnant air that fills the apartment. The humidity from the rainy weather outside seeps inside the windows, the smell of mildew constantly stuck in the air. Her elbows dig into her knees as she presses her fingers against her eyes, trying to make the throbbing ache go away. Another night of too much and still, not enough. She rubs her eyes before rubbing her hands against her face, the smell of sour cheese and beef on her hands from the vomit that she still needs to clean up in her bathroom. She pulls her hands away from her face, looking at the table in front of her. An empty bottle of Smirnoff sits next to a tipped over bottle of Jose Cuervo, half filled. She stares at the bottle, the brown liquid calling out to her and screaming at her to stop. He tongue darts in between her lips and stays there as she fights the urge to grab the bottle and take a drink - just enough to make the hangover go away, she tells herself. To make it feel good. Her hand unconsciously rubs against her chest, against the scar. She closes her eyes, feeling his fingers in her chest, digging and clawing around. She opens them, eyes red, and grabs at the bottle.
Criminal Minds || Superhero
"Mija! Bring me the bottle!" Her mother's voice carries through the small apartment.
"Madre, I'm playing with Billy!"
"Gabrielle! Now!" She yells again and the little girl huffs.
"You better do it, Gabby." Billy says and she huffs.
"I'll be right back. Don't touch anything! Or I'll hurt you!" She glares at the boy who is still three inches shorter than her and scared of her. It's why they're best friends. She moves into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of the gross brown stuff before moving into the living room, where her mother sits in Dad's old recliner, feet up on the coffee table. The Spanish soap operas are on, which she hates. Dad hated them too, but he was gone now and wouldn't give her mom the look and say 'Come on Marie, let Peanut watch her cartoons.' in his gentle voice and give her the smile neither Greenaway woman could resist. She hands her mom the bottle before the older woman looks at her, eyes turning to slits.
"What do you think you're doing! Take that off now. Ahora!" She starts screaming at the little girl in Spanish, too quickly for Elle to understand what she's saying before her mother grabs her arm.
"What did I tell you, Mija!"
Elle winces as her mother's fingers dig into her arm. "I just wanted to be like Daddy!" She says.
"Your father died because of the job. No daughter of mine will be police. You understand, Gabrielle? Take it off." She hisses in clear Spanish before letting go roughly. Elle runs from the woman into the room where Billy sits, waiting, closing the door tight behind her. She squeezes her eyes shut, arms wrapping around herself, clutching at the blue police uniform shirt, forcing herself not to cry in front of the boy.
Criminal Minds || Superheroes
Elle sets her feet on the coffee table, fingers tight around the neck of the bottle. The light from the small kitchen throws a shadow in the living room. The whole scene is just depressing. The apartment in Seattle was nothing like the townhouse she had in Virgina. Dark and broken down. The whole building had a feeling of death and despair. As if everyone had run from dreams only to end up in the rainy depressing city. She leans her head back against the lumpy couch, resting the bottle on her lap.
Criminal Minds || Superheroes
What do you want to be when you grow up? It was the question of the show and tell. She was exempt from it - a parent's passing was enough to keep you from doing a lot, she had found out. But she raises her hand regardless. She had brought something in, she wanted to show it…she wanted to tell everyone what she wanted to do.
"Gabrielle." The teacher calls on her and she pulls out the cape her dad had worn last Halloween. He had been Superman and she had been Robin. She holds it close to her chest as she walks up to the front of the case. Her teacher kneels in front of her.
"Are you sure you want to do this, honey?" She says, quietly and Elle nods.
"I want to." She says before she turns to the rest of the class.
"When I grow up, I want to be a superhero like my daddy." She says. "Last Halloween, my daddy went as Superman and even though, he told me that Superman isn't real, I know that my daddy is….was." She frowns. "He was strong and he saved people and that's what I'm going to do when I grow up. I'm going to be big and strong and save all the hurt people and put all the bad guys away, so that no one else will have to cry anymore and no one would have to be sad."
The class claps and she holds the cape closer to her chest. It smells like her dad.
Criminal Minds || Superheroes
Her dad was right. Superman wasn't real. Sure, he said right after that although Superman wasn't real, superheroes did exist and they were everyday people who did the right thing. Would he think that what she did to Lee was the right thing? She took another gulp of the gross liquid. She had never liked the taste of Tequila and yet, here she was. Like mother, like daughter. She sets down the bottle of the table, putting her feet back onto the floor. She stares at the bottle. She had believed that she was really going to do it. That she was really going to make a difference, save the world. For so many years. As a kid, she wanted to be an officer, but as she grew up, she wanted to more. Joined the FBI. The top of the top, and yet, she still needed be better. The Behavior Analysis Unit - solving the serial crimes that affected tons of people. She had a chance to find the really bad guys and make them pay and now?
She was sitting in the same type of dingy apartment she had grown up in without anything to show for it, but a scar on her chest and addiction.
She sure as hell was no damn superhero.