Bloodlust

Chapter One: First Day

It was the first day of my senior year of high school. My friend Phoebe spent the night over at my house so we could cry together about how much we would miss high school, even though we had been complaining about it months before. Cliques, bullies, and so on, that would soon be over, and we would truly miss it! I knew this day would come. I'd been waiting for it for the majority of three years, and it was only the first day of the school year, but nine months from now, I would graduate a year early from Forks High School, at seventeen years old. Phoebe's apartment was in Forks also, which meant we could see each other daily for the remainder of high school.

I smiled at Phoebe as we wrestled over the tiny bathroom mirror. We were so different, yet so similar. She moved to Forks upon my request because we were practically inseparable. We spent the last two weeks of our summer break fixing up her apartment. I was still grounded from the events of late July, but my dad, Charlie, loosened up a lot since that day I returned from Italy, and then two days later when he announced the exact nature of my punishment. I was allowed to see Phoebe whenever I wanted, Jacob Black who was another friend, and my best friend in the entire world, as well as the sister of my boyfriend Alice. Alice was always allowed to come uninvited and we could spend forever together if we wanted. Dad held no grudge against Alice, though she was the one who came to get me before my boyfriend, Edward Cullen, committed suicide in Italy. Alice and I had run half way across the world to save him. I never regretted it, and I wouldn't have done things any differently if I was faced with the decision again, even with the knowledge of how mad Dad was. Dad loved Phoebe and Alice, and Jake was like his own son, even though we hadn't exactly been getting along. There were still restrictions when it came to visiting with my boyfriend. He was allowed to drive me to school--a rule we had agreed on the previous night at dinner. I was allowed to see him for two hours outside of school. Of course, Edward still snuck in my window at nights to watch me sleep. Except for when Phoebe came over. I had accepted those terms because I expected them to be worse, like never being allowed to see Edward ever again after he'd left me, and especially after I'd ran off to Italy.

I slipped out of the bathroom to get dressed for school. My room was filled with memories from my junior year and the last bit of summer once Edward came back. I smiled at them all as I headed to my overflowing closet. Phoebe always took longer than I did to get ready. Her car was outside parked across the street. Edward would be there to pick me up soon. So I slipped into a pair of skinny jeans, a red v-neck t-shirt, and my favorite pair of flat boots. My backpack was on the desk with my beloved picture of Edward--my favorite of him ever--and a few more of us, all framed, all dear to my heart. The others were pinned onto the walls, laying around on the floor, all over my room. I grabbed my backpack, cellphone, and my iPod quickly.

"Hey, I'll see you at school," I yelled at Phoebe on my way downstairs to the kitchen. I grabbed my favorite coffee mug--Edward and I had painted it together one day during our two hours. I made myself an espresso and another for Phoebe, which I left on the counter for her to find. She made herself at home wherever I was. I hurried through a bowl of cereal, anxious to see Edward again. It'd been twelve hours almost. I missed him after ten minutes, and I was dying to see him now. I smiled, chewing on my lip when his silver Volvo appeared at the end of the street. He was speeding again! Even if he was unable to be hurt, that made me nervous. Backpack over my shoulder, I ran to hug him. He spun me around, laughing. Then he put me down and pushed my hair out of my face so he could look me over. It was like he was trying to tell if my health was okay or not. "You look beautiful," he told me, leading the way back to his Volvo. He opened my door for me. Another ritual.

As much as I once thought I hated school, the first day of the end was here. And that's when I realized how much I would miss it. I would miss all the memories, the laughs, the stupid jokes that didn't make sense anyway. I didn't want to see the end of high school. I would miss the friends I'd made, the whole school, and some of the teachers too. No one knew how much. Things would change after graduation. I would have to move onto thinking about college, a major, make new friends, decide on a college, plus Edward kept hinting at marriage, which was an exciting, yet terrifying thought. I was terrified to move on from the life I'd grown used to. I would miss that life.

Forks High school was tiny. About three hundred fifty students or so. I was friends with most of the senior class, which was tiny anyway, but my closest friends were Alice, Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Mike, Ben, Tyler, Anthony, and of course Phoebe too. Behind me on everything, there was Edward. He was a vampire, and if anyone knew, that could and would destroy us. Despite that, he supported my dreams of modeling, acting, and singing, even if they put him in the public eye. I blew my record deal by running to save him in Italy, but I decided to preserve it slowly and not take advantage of the fact that my stepfather, Ted, was a producer. So my music was on MySpace, I continued to write music, and whenever possible, I sung in coffee shops around the whole state of Washington. That way, I had the time to think about each move, talk to Charlie about it since he was the reasoning in my life, talk to my beloved mother and my little brother about the pros and cons, ask Phoebe's advice, then talk to Edward and make my final decision. The decision was always mine, but where would I be without the advice given to me?

"What're you thinking about?" Edward asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I smiled at the familiar question. Some vampires had special powers. Edward was one of those vampires. He could read mines, but my mind was the one exception to that. Alice could see the future. Jasper Hale, Alice's mate, could control people's emotions. While some wouldn't call it a power, after what Edward had told me about vampires, I concluded that it was a gift: Carlisle Cullen could resist human blood--the Cullens survived on only animal blood. That sounded like a power to me, especially because Carlisle worked at the hospital in Forks.

I glanced at Edward. "I'm thinking about how wonderful you and your family are for supporting me and everything," I answered with a smile--it was partially true. "Rosalie didn't even glare at me when we ran into each other in Olympia last week when Alice was dragging me to shop."

Edward kept a one hand feel on the steering wheel while he reached over and touched my cheek softly. The way he did that made me crazy. I was just a human. Edward was a vampire. I could die. Edward could live forever. So when he touched my cheek like that, I knew he was trying to remember how soft my skin was so he could never forget it once I was gone. Of course, there was one solution to that--turn me into a vampire so I couldn't die in the first place. But I swore not to ask Edward to change me anymore after he left; it only made our relationship more complicated. I still wanted it though. More than ever.

Edward cleared his throat. "She and Emmett left last night," he announced quietly. "They might not be back for a while knowing Rosalie."

The fact that Emmett was gone made me a little sad. He was the big brother I never had. As much as he teased me for my clumsiness, I loved to spend time with him, even if Rosalie was there to glare at me. Edward was close to his family--they'd been together for so long! As much as I would miss Emmett's huge laugh and even his teasing, I knew Edward would miss his big brother even more, even if he didn't let on. "But at least Jasper's still there," Edward said when I was silent.

I nodded. With me under house arrest, Edward was really the one suffering. I wanted to be free for a number of reasons, but the most important and the main reason was simply Edward. I closed my eyes when Edward turned on a Bach CD. He shared my love for classical music, but it made more sense for him to love it. He was born in 1901 actually. I was born in 1992. I was the modern girl in love with an old fashion boy. We were similar, yet so, so different, we complimented each other's temperaments. I wasn't the kind of girl most would picture with Edward--shy, clumsy, stubborn, self-conscious, short tempered, and not the most beautiful girl around. Plain Jane, he'd called me that once, and it somehow fit. Though I'd always dreamt of someone like him, I never thought it would happen to me, but there he was. Vampire or not, I didn't care because he was at my side and in my heart forever.

Edward sighed. "So what should we do with our two hours today?" he asked, turning onto the exit ramp skillfully.

I glanced at him again. Two hours of twenty four. Edward was unable to sleep. Two hours to him was even less than it was for me. I shrugged finally, feeling a little down about the short length of our visiting hours. "We could go hiking and you could help me with dinner," I said, even though I wasn't even allowed to leave the house with him. Not even if Alice was there or Phoebe. And even if I wasn't grounded, Charlie didn't like when we went out. He preferred us to stay home where he could watch us. He saw exactly what had happened to me when Edward left. He couldn't trust Edward and he was even more critical than before. It made it worse that Edward could read minds. He knew exactly what Charlie was thinking every second of the day. I knew Edward let it pass--he was unfortunately used to it.

I smiled at my group of friends as we pulled into the parking lot. Alice was waiting by the paring space Edward took for months of our junior year. It was at the end of the lot where I always used to park when I drove. Now I didn't have to drive to school. Edward would always pick me up. If he didn't, I had my '83 Chevy or my '09 Ford F-150, but his presence was better. I loved the way he smelled, the way he looked at me every few seconds.

I jumped out and ran to hug my friends before Edward had put the car in park, and I left my door wide open too. I hadn't seem them in weeks! Edward followed more slowly with my backpack. Alice put her arm around my waist from behind me as I tried to catch up on the latest gossip. Jessica and Mike were giving their relationship a second try after breaking up over summer. Angela and Eric were as strong as ever, but Lauren and Ben were in the awkward, post-breakup stage. One arm around Edward, the other around Lauren with Alice still hugging my waist, we moved onto the topic of what classes we were all taking that year. Edward was in most of my classes, all but one, and Alice was in that class. All three of us had a free sixth period, as did Lauren. Edward was even in my Gym class, which would save me some of the humiliation hopefully. Sports were always horrible for me. I wasn't athletic at all, and I was unusually clumsy. Still, I managed to be decent at some sports in between my accidents. Edward could help me out, catch me if I tripped.

"Hey!" I said when Tyler joined us. I hugged him quickly, then went to hold Edward's hand. "How was your summer? I feel so out of touch here." Everyone knew the reasons my friendship had faltered over the summer. So far, everyone had forgiven me except Jessica, who was being a lot nicer.

"This summer was so boring," Tyler complained. "It's like I slept through all of it. So boring."

I smiled, and everyone probably thought it was due to the fact that I loved Tyler's sense of humor, but it was actually because Edward squeezed my hand. He knew I was thinking about the majority of my summer, which was spent crying and longing for Edward. I leaned my head against his shoulder. He still felt guilty for leaving me, even though I'd forgiven him and he left to protect me, but the guilt was still there.

My first class was French. Edward sat next to me, handed me my books, and set my backpack down. I looked around to see who was in the class. Angela, Anthony, and Sara, but that was it, which was somewhat surprising considering how small Forks High School was. The class was unusually small too. "So what did you want to do today?" I asked Edward, wondering if he had any other plans or ideas. I sat sideways in my desk so I could face him.

"Anything's fine with me," he answered with a casual shrug. "You should beg Charlie to free you, then I could take you, Alice, Jasper, and Phoebe shopping. We'll eventually have to go look for homecoming clothes, which is a human experience your father cannot possibly think of denying you. Alice will lke that. Wonder if the two hours still go if both Phoebe and Alice are with us."

I didn't know for sure, but I nodded anyway. I knew my dad well enough to know that house arrest meant complete house arrest. School, homework, and then the few hours with Edward or however much time I wanted with Phoebe, Alice, or Jake. Only Jacob and I weren't getting along. I'd forgiven him for telling him about my motorcycle experience, as well as my cliff diving thing, but Jake had started avoiding me and refusing to answer my phone calls, so I'd given up trying. He could ignore me if he wanted. That was up to him. Still, I was grounded, and as much as I hated it, I didn't want to put up the energy to argue my way into freedom. And I wasn't even sure that I deserved to be free ever again.

Nearly two months of constant tears. I'd run away multiple times. I'd gotten into a car accident. Charlie wasn't aware until much later, but I'd gotten into extreme sports such as cliff diving and riding motorcycles through a thick forest. I'd run away to Italy to save Edward, but Charlie didn't know until days after I left. I didn't even have time to leave a note. So of course I deserved to be grounded for the rest of my life in Dad's eyes. All things considered, he wouldn't go easy on me. He still allowed me to date Edward and I was allowed to see him. Those were two things Charlie suggested, not me. I had no part in it, but that only proved that he was glad to see me happy again. He still hated Edward.

Our first assignment in French was to write a two page paper in French about our summer. Edward and I were in the back row. I exchanged a glance with him. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to describe the near-two months without Edward? I cringed and started at the beginning. Everyone in Forks knew about Edward leaving me. I managed to write two pages without mentioning the pain I went through. I talked about before Edward left, my birthday, my trip to LA, and then the good parts of Italy. When I finished, I let Edward read it while I read his--our planned way to pass time without talking and getting in trouble. Then Edward took both our papers up to the front to turn in. As he returned, I wrote him a small note.

First day of freedom, we'll go to Olympia or maybe Seattle.

Edward read it quickly and he smiled. We passed notes for the last ten minutes of class. Edward stood first when the bell rang--he was usually the first one to his feet. I carried my beloved copy of Wuthering Heights to English because I already knew that was the first book we were reading. Edward had given me it in March. I loved the book, but the leather bound copy was extremely special to me. So I brought a paperback copy that was completely tattered and falling apart. Edward carried my bag along with his.

"How did you go through high school so many times?" I asked Edward softly. "This is like the saddest thing ever. It's gonna be over soon. That's cry-worthy!"

"Never really had any friends or anything that mattered the other times, besides my family," he replied casually, and that sounded so sad. "And it's not as bad as it sounds, ya know? All your friends are graduating with you. Even Phoebe. Who woulda thought? And aren't you glad I didn't turn you now? Isn't this experience so much better without knowing that you'll have to repeat it a billion times and you'll be able to go to your twenty year reunion."

I rolled my eyes, and shook my head. "About the Phoebe comment, I know. It's just really sad to be a senior now. I feel old," I admitted with a small laugh--I was the youngest of my entire senior class. I was seventeen. Edward was technically still seventeen--he always would be. Both Alice and Edward were pretending to be eighteen. It made me feel so lucky to be graduating with them, but I still felt old now that I was a senior. It was unavoidable, but I felt the same way about it as I did the setting sun. The sunset meant it was time to sleep, meaning I would close my eyes and I couldn't see Edward. Graduating meant less time with Edward, less time to live. That was terrifying for me. Edward was much stronger than I was. I would never have been able to resist if I was in his place and he was in mine. I would have changed him the day he asked me to or had Carlisle if I wasn't strong enough. He refused to turn me into a vampire. That only told me he was a thousand times stronger than I was, which I already knew.