Disclaimer: Go sue 50 Shades of Suck

As she hit the end button, it was hard to hold back the tears. That was it, the school year was now over. High school was over. That was the list time that Holly J would probably ever see Anya and it was through a screen. She could almost guarantee that she wouldn't ever see Riley or Zane again. Maybe Sav, over breaks and things. But, right now, they were all at Degrassi's prom, which she helped organize, and she was here, in the hospital, recovering from surgery.

She had done it to herself, really. There was no one else to blame. If she had just gone to the doctor when she first felt sick, the infection wouldn't have spread and she wouldn't have had to have a transplant. It seemed so trivial at the time, just a fever and a scratchy throat. Now, she had two months of intensive recovery ahead of her. The worst part of it all was how alone she felt. Anya shipped out tomorrow. Chantay was spending the summer with her aunt. Sav had other plans. And Fi? She had dropped the bomb this morning that she was going to spend 90 days in rehab. Holly J knew that it was for the best, that her friend needed to get help, but she couldn't help feeling hopelessly angry about it all. She needed a friend.

On top of everything, there had been discussions as to what was going to happen once she got out, like she was some child that had no opinions of her care. She wouldn't be well enough to be on her own and her parents couldn't afford to take time off of work. There was a thought about hiring a nurse for a few weeks, but Holly J never heard if there had been a decision made. She didn't really like the thought of having to bare mostly all to some stranger anyway. She knew Dawn had it just as bad, but the $20,000 that Fi provided was sure to ease her pain just fine. Holly J had no right to complain though. She was alive and that's what mattered.

"So, how does prom look?" Mrs. Sinclair asked as she stepped into the room.

"Perfect, as it should be," Holly J responded sadly. She looked around the room, at the cinder block walls, at the tubes and machines beeping near her, anything to avoid looking at her mom directly. She didn't want to give away how sad she was.

"I know that you were looking forward to it, but your health had to come first. Now, there will be more big dances, like at your wedding, or with your own children," she tried to comfort. It was stupid, all of it. Yes, Holly J was eternally thankful for the second chance she had been given, but was she ever going to be allowed to mourn what she had missed?

"I know," was all she said, laying back into the pillows. Her eyes fell upon the roses that Declan had sent, a nice gesture to know that he was still thinking of her. It had been torture to not say anything to him when she first got sick but she just couldn't do it, not when she was with Sav. Of course, once the situation got progressively worse, Fi filled him in on it all. He deserved to know. "Has anything been figured out yet?"

"Well, sweetheart, some things have been suggested, but we want to make sure you're okay with them," Mrs. Sinclair slowly answered, glancing at the door. Holly J's eyes followed the line of sight, her eyebrows knitting in confusion. She didn't need any riddles or games right now.

"Why? What's been suggested?"

"I got here as fast as I could. The stupid taxi refused to take the expressway…" a familiar voice came from just down the hall. Holly J's heart stopped… or at least that's what it felt like; the heart monitor told a different story. The beeps just got slightly faster as Declan Coyne entered her hospital room.

"Declan?" she asked, not really wanting to believe it. It had to be the vast amount of meds she was on.

"Miss Sinclair, you're looking more beautiful every day," and he flashed that smile that he knew she couldn't resist. Except she wanted to.

"What is he doing here?" she asked her mom, who just looked back at her like she was hiding something. She looked between the both of them and sighed, closing her eyes, "Can someone please tell me what is going on?" She was far too exhausted to be doing this. Declan's smile faltered slightly as he took a seat. To be honest, he was expecting a little warmer of a reception.

"I'm staying here for the summer, to watch Fiona's condo while she's… away," Delcan started.

"And one of the thoughts was that Declan be a part of your post-op care. The nurses can train him to change bandages, fill up your med planner, take your blood pressure, things like that…" Mrs. Sinclair finished. The thought of having Declan be her nurse left a bad taste in Holly J's mouth. She didn't want him to feel responsible for her or that this changed how she felt about him.

"So, you're really going to come over to the apartment, every day, bright and early, and feed me soup, help me to the bathroom, all of that stupid stuff, for two months?" Holly J's said plainly, thoroughly not convinced.

"That's the other thing. We thought it might be easier if you stay at Fiona's condo with Declan for a bit, until you really feel well enough to manage on your own," Mrs. Sinclair suggested.

"What? No! No way," Holly J's protested and one of her monitors beeped threateningly. Even hearing the noise put Declan on edge. He didn't like seeing her hooked up to all these machines, becoming more robot than human.

"Clam down. You're blood pressure is too high. Dad and I will come ever as much as you want," she said and Holly J huffed, swallowing hard. It wasn't fair. All she wanted to do was go home, to her bed, with her things, and be with her family. Not be a guest in someone else's life.

"Holly J, I really don't mind helping in any way I can. All I would be doing would be sitting around the condo. At least this way, I have something worthwhile to do," Declan quietly begged. Last time he had seen her, she was healthy, on track to reunite with him at Yale, and he was more than willing to wait and give her space. So much had fallen apart in the months they had been separated. She had almost died. He wasn't about to let her go again. She listened to his words, taking every single one into consideration and dissecting it in her head. There had to be some other motive. Declan Coyne didn't work without motives. He was determined to get whatever it was that he wanted and she needed to make sure he knew exactly what was going to be happening this summer.

"This doesn't change anything," she said as she met his gaze, making her point known. If she allowed him to help her, it didn't mean that her feelings towards him had changed.

"I know. I understand." Right now, just being near her, knowing that she would be okay, was enough. It had to be.

A/N: And the beginning. This whole story is dedicated to Steff, one of the most caring, funny, genuine, beautiful people I and lucky enough to say I know. Now for a technical thing: I usually post every week for my Degrassi stories, but this one I am going to slow down a little and post every two weeks. It's so I stay sane. I'm old. I don't have the energy that I used to. Reviews are like cookies! Thanks for reading!