"She's a maniac, maniac on the floor and she's dancing like she's never danced before"

--Maniac (Michael Sembello)

A Boring Hotel Story

I.

"I'm telling you KP I don't see the point." Kim walked briskly ahead as she made her way past the simple revolving door into the rather expensive lobby in front of her. Her best friend Ron followed right behind her keeping up the conversation that had started right after they finally foiled their fiendish foe.

"It's simple Ron he wanted to use the laser to heat the polar ice caps and flood the world. That's why he needed the large laser and the very big sheet of glass in orbit." Kim spotted the nearby lobby desk and headed straight for it noting the bored man standing behind it. He had on a pair of shades and wore a really tacky blue suit and wide hat. Smiling her best smile Kim made her way towards the man.

"I'm just saying KP why would Drakken serve us muffins though when we're there to stop his grand take over the world plan?"

"Maybe because he likes to bake?" Kim said over her shoulder before stepping up to the man at the desk.

"What can I do for you pretty lady who is way too young for me?" Kim blinked in confusion at that statement before shaking her head.

"You see sir me and my friend here are stuck in this place for the night without a ride. I was wondering if maybe you could give us some rooms to stay in." Kim smiled sweetly at the oddly familiar looking man hoping he'd provide them the rooms they needed.

The man stood back a second raising his hand to his glasses as he flashed her, Ron, and even Rufus the biggest smile she'd ever seen. "No problem my crazy trio. One room coming right up."

"One room? I think we need more then one dude." Kim nodded in agreement as Ron voiced his concerns to the man.

"No can do my man. All the rooms are filled up with the convention in town. Major bummer city but I still got that room for you to crash in if you want."

"Alright we'll take it." Kim said cutting off anything else Ron would say. She doubted they'd be able to find anything else on short notice and she needed to get some sleep. "Can you bring up an extra bed while you're at it please and thank you?"

"Oh no can do my romantically confused hero their all used up. Tell you what though I'll hook you two crazy kids up with some extra chocolate and we'll call it square." The strange man at this point gave them thumbs up as Rufus popped up an eager smile on his face. "Sorry little buddy but no chocolate for you. Tell you what I'll give you some wood to chew on and we'll call it all right."

A growl from Rufus was all Kim heard before a startled squawk came from Ron. Turning around in confusion she looked at Ron. "What's up Ron?"

"Your boy seems to be in a panic..."

"Just one room KP and no extra beds I mean shouldn't we like get two rooms?" Ron began to fidget at this point as Kim frowned in his direction unsure why he would be so upset about this.

"But we can't Ron and besides it's not like we haven't slept together in the past." Kim frowned as Ron continued to fidget in front of her.

"And the judges declare this boy's got it going on..."

"But Kim we were just kids then!"

"Oh technical foul and the crowd goes quiet..."

"Come on Ron it's not that big of a deal."

"And this girl has no clue..."

"I guess you're right KP." Kim smiled as she turned back to the now silent man in front of them as the man ran his hand along the hat and made various odd poses while he waited.

"Well take it. Just charge it to Global Justice please and thank you."

"Well do pretty lady and remember protection is the cool thing to do." Kim smiled slightly at that still not sure what the man was going on about. The man handed Kim her key which she noted has a Disco ball attached to it.

"Oh and dude can you send up some room service too. Something like Bueno Nacho if possible?" Ron's eager cry caused Kim to smile as she moved away from the desk heading towards their room.

"No can do since I'm not moving. I'll send up some steaks and you'll go moo."

"Huh?" Was the confused reply from Ron before Kim reached back and pulled him along with her.

"That girl wears the pants and that dude the skits!" Was the last thing they heard from the man at that desk before they stepped into the elevator.

II.

"I just don't see the point of steak sauce Ron after all you're supposed to enjoy the steak not the sauce." Kim put her fork down as she looked over at her best friend as he finished off his third helping that night. Kim herself had managed a baked potato, a salad, and a rather tasty steak since they had gotten up her. Of course all paid for by Dr. Director as per their agreement. It was the least she could do since she wasn't willing to provide them a ride.

"Nah KP you need the steak sauce to bring out the flavor." Kim frowned as she watched Ron emphasize his point by drenching the latest chunk of steak on the way to his mouth with an unhealthy dosage of steak sauce. "Just wished Wade could have some of this."

"I doubt Wade would be willing to come out of his room for this." Kim smiled as she leaned back placing the plates on the nearby table top. "Anyway you done yet?"

"Almost." Ron showed this point as inaccurate as he reached for his fourth steak. Rolling her eyes Kim got up grabbing her bag as she moved towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to take a shower before we settle in. You better be done by then." Closing the door she frowned when she heard the startled choking from Ron followed by a hasty affirmative yelled by him. "He's odd but I do like him."

Kim smiled at this as she stripped off her mission clothes and stepped into the inviting shower. Turning the water up to high she let the warm streams of clear liquid wash over her and carry the stress of her latest battle with it. It wasn't easy taking down Shego and the henchmen she liked to throw at her. Honestly the woman was the most annoying person she had ever met outside of Bonnie. Though to Bonnie's credit as least she didn't try to kill her on a regular basis.

Looking around carefully Kim listened to see if she could hear anything from the other room. When she noted that the shower pretty much drowned out all noise she indulged herself with her one guilty pleasure. Lifting her hand she raised it out prepared to start what she'd never admit to anyone.

"Just a still town girl on a Saturday night." Kim's voice rose as she started to sing swinging her hand out as the lyrics flowed out. "Lookin' for the fight of her life."

As the song flowed from her Kim allowed herself to move into the rhythm throwing her arms out as she went from line to line the passion in her voice rising as she continued to sing. She always liked this song but would never admit it. "She's a maniac, maniac on the floor and she's dancing like she's never danced before."

Kim threw up her arms as she slid across the rather impressive shower to settle against the wall letting her hands lower to her side. Her heart pounding she smiled slightly as she stood back up listening again to see if anything had changed. Smiling to herself she finished cleaning up before shutting off the water.

Stepping out of the shower she toweled herself off first before searching through the bag of clothes they had brought. Like usual her mother had included a change of underwear for both her and Ron following the old bit of advice about clean underwear. Kim frowned though when she failed to find anything else to wear among her clothes. All of them would either be too revealing, like her crop tops, or too uncomfortable to sleep in like her mission slacks.

"Gees it's so much easier for boys. All they need to do is put on a pair of shorts and their good." Shaking her head Kim's eyes set on a red piece of fabric. Smiling to herself she pulled out the object she had found letting it fall out in front of her.

"Perfect and I'm sure Ron will get a kick out of this." Kim smiled as she looked at the item in question. "After all it is his jersey and I am always criticizing him for his fashion sense. He'll love the fact that I actually end up wearing the stupid thing but you got to admit it is the most comfortable thing in here." Kim nodded her head as she quickly changed. She only too one moment to smell the jersey enjoying the comforting scent of her best friend she had known for life.

III.

Ron shifted as he watched the T.V. in front of him as his heart refused to stop beating. He didn't know what Kim was thinking at the moment. First she shares a room with him, is fine sharing a bed, and now she's showering with only a door between them. He knew Kim trusted him but there were limits to how far a girl should push this sort of thing!

"Rufus buddy I think I'm going to have a panic attack." Looking over in worry he spotted the rodent in question sleeping happily among the towels provided by the hotel employees after taking away their rather big meal. Frowning Ron poked the rodent trying to wake him up but in the end the little pink guy just rolled over once more. "Traitor!"

Ron turned back to the T.V. but moments later his heart stopped once again as he heard the shower stop. 'KP will be in her any moment. What to do!'

Bouncing around nervously he watched the T.V. in front of him waiting for the inevitable to happen. As predicted the bathroom door opened and he turned towards the danger that awaited him. 'Hey Ron I decided to borrow your shirt hope you don't mind."

Now Ron was a simple boy and like all simple boys the image of a girl wearing his shirt caused certain feelings in him. Now when said girl then spun around with a smile on her face and he caught a flash of white those feelings tended to go into overdrive. As with all young men like Ron at this moment he did the only intelligible thing he could. He drooled and when a young boy starts to drool they tend not to pay very close attention to anything else.

As he stared at the girl in front of him he once again shot back to awareness as he heard her voice rise in front of him. "What?" Blinking he noted the annoyed expression on Kim's face. "What was that KP? I'm sorry but I wasn't paying attention."

"Sure Ron." Ron followed Kim's motion over to him noting the way the bottom of his shirt moved up and down her long smooth legs always promising just a hint of what he had seen earlier but denying it to him. As Kim stopped in front of him she simply reached out towards him and took the remote. "I was saying that it's time to go to bed now how about you take a shower and change already. I'm tired and want to get a good night's sleep."

Ron nodded dumbly as he got up and moved over towards the bathroom. Stepping out of his clothes he walked up to the shower and set it to the lowest setting he could. He needed something to distract him from the thoughts he was having about his best friend who happened to be a very hot girl in the same room as him all alone and with barely anything on. Ron cursed the fact that the shower's temperature wouldn't go any lower.

IV.

Ron listened to the light snoring coming from his side as he stared straight ahead at the wall. He was desperately fighting an urge not to look behind him at the person responsible for the snoring. Nope the Ron man would never tempt himself in such a way.

'She looks cute when she's drooling like that.' Ron blinked in surprise as he realized that somehow he had managed to turn around without thinking and was now staring straight at his sleeping partner. Her pretty face with the slight hint of freckles still there when one looked very closely at it was now scrunched up slightly as she muttered something in her sleep. When she finished muttering whatever it was she again opened her mouth slightly drooling and snoring at the same time. For some reason this only drove Ron that much crazier.

Turning back around, he stared at the wall willing himself to stay sane through the rest of the night. He had already given up any hope of sleeping, not willing to trust himself to behave if he did. 'Ron mustn't be a bad boy!'

'Master what is wrong?' Ron jumped slightly as he stared around hearing Kim's voice suddenly.

"KP?" He stared at the wall even more focused just in case she was awake but all he could hear was more snoring.

'Master how many times do we have to go over this. Me sword she girl. Ok?' Ron sighed as he heard the slight sarcasm combined with a jovial tune that he never heard when Kim spoke. He now knew who he was talking to but it only annoyed him more.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to use her voice? It freaks me out!" Ron's quiet whisper was mostly drowned out by the now more loudly snoring Kim. It was the same way as always whenever he talked to the voice in his head. He'd speak out loud and she'd talk in his mind. It didn't matter how quietly he talked for she was always able to pick up on it.

He paused as he thought about that realizing he still referred to the Louts Blade as female. He had ever since it started to talk to him right after that mission to Japan. He admitted it had freaked him out at first but he had gotten used to it by now though it was still annoying at times. 'Master I like this voice and you know that!'

"But it's Kim's voice. Why don't you use someone else like Mr. B? It'd get you more respect?"

'Because I'm a girl and I like using a girl's voice.'

"How can a sword be a girl? That doesn't even make sense!"

'Just like every other time we have this discussion the answer is because I was created to think of myself as female just like you were created to think of yourself as a guy. Now moving on what is the trouble master?' Ron flinched as he got a distinct feeling of annoyance from the voice inside of his mind as he continued to stare at the wall.

"Nothing is the matter." Ron gasped loudly as he suddenly felt Kim roll over and give him a big hug pressing her body into him.

'Ah mating troubles.'

"Shut it!" Ron wanted to hunch into a ball as he felt Kim's face press up against his back and start to mutter something before chewing on the shirt he was wearing.

'Why don't you just mate with her and get it over with?'

"You're not helping!" Ron continued to stare at the wall trying to ignore the warm body currently pressed against him. He didn't know if he was enjoying this or if this was the greatest torture ever. He settled for both.

'If you say so Master but it would solve so many problems.'

"Quiet you!" With that Ron was finally left alone to stare at the wall wondering why the Lotus Blade had even bothered to talk to him. Stupid sword. Stupid Hotel.

He yelped suddenly when he felt one of Kim's legs actually slide over his body before she hugged him even closer. Staring ahead he tried not to think about the body parts that were currently pressed firmly against him. He doubted if he stayed in the same bed with her any longer that he would be able to stop himself. He needed to escape!

V.

Kim blinked slightly as she came awake looking up at the unfamiliar ceiling. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was before she turned over in surprise realizing she was in the bed alone. Looking around in a panic she finally spotted the missing person in question.

Sleeping rather happily on the floor was one blond haired boy curled up in a tight ball to keep warm. Shaking her head slightly Kim stood up a smile on her face as she stretched her arms upward. Walking over she bent down next to Ron looking at his sleeping face. "Guess you rolled off the bed last night goof. Only you would sleep right through that." Smiling she bent down further giving him a slight kiss on the cheek before heading into the bathroom to change.

VI.

Rufus awoke in surprise as he felt a presence in the room move. Blinking he watched as one red headed girl moved from the bed and towards the blond sleeping on the floor. Rufus smiled to himself before settling back on the stack of towels.

'You win this time rodent!' Rufus felt like laughing as he heard the voice inside his head that sounded a lot like his human girl Kim. He didn't know why the Lotus Blade favored that voice but like the girl she borrowed it from she too was a little impulsive and rather a sore loser.

Stretching out Rufus sat back up staring smugly ahead of him. 'Yes so you're right. How was I supposed to know the boy wouldn't try at least something? He is a boy after all!'

Rufus merely began to clean his whiskers as he said in his high pitched manner. "Nacos!"

'Yes I know I owe you forty Nacos. I'll get the old man to pay for you but next time I'll win!'

Rufus merely smiled as he went back to cleaning his face. He enjoyed this little game he played with the sword just like he enjoyed the game his two favorite humans played.

The End

A/N: Yes I know this is a crazy story but I was bored and felt like writing something odd again. Yes Ron is not crazy and yes the Lotus Blade uses Kim's voice. I'll write the story someday where the Lotus Blade first talks to Ron but for now just accept the fact that it is the way of things. Like everything else I introduce things early and explain them later.

Anyway why did I write this story? Well felt like writing a light K/R comedy after some of the depressing stuff I saw recently. Good enough? Anyway it's something quick to write and an update I don't care about. Not really focuses at all and just meant to be odd at times. Hope you enjoyed and as always remember to leave a review.

As for other works I've made no progress. Too many test and projects over the last couple of weeks. I'll try to update something maybe sometime soon. We'll see.

By the by I've now been writing these things for over a year. Happy times! Maybe I should do something special for the fans...anyone want a certain topic for a story. Something like giant clams trying to convert Ron to Scientology? I don't know I'll try to think of something.

Anyway disclaimer time: I don't own KP and Rufus doesn't own the Lotus Blade. Neither does Ron after all she's a modern woman!