They all think they know me. Of course they do. They know the Remus I show them. The quiet, sweet Remus. The understanding Remus. The prefect Remus. The perfect Remus.
They know I'm a werewolf. So what? I will be the tamest, the most cuddly werewolf ever on this earth. In fact, I am just a big stuff toy. Hello everyone, this is the Marauders presenting their newest product - Remus Lupin the Werewolf. Now don't be afraid, because he is just a toy after all. He will harm no one.
Yeah, right.
And so Sirius sent Severus on his merry way to my den. "I didn't think you'd attack." That's right Siri. You didn't think. Bloody hell, it is already so amazing that you actually have a brain, let's not tax it with thinking.
I was angry. No, that's an understatement. I was furious. The next moon I raged at them like never before. The stag, the mouse and the dog fled and I was alone. But when I returned, they had questions.
Sirius asked if I would ever forgive him.
The answer is, naturally, no. How can I forgive him? No way, Sirius. I can forget but I will never forgive. Wait, did I mention werewolves have fantastic memories? But I admit it was phrased rather badly.
Yes. You are my friend, of course I will forgive you.
James had asked that if howling means anything. That if the fact that I do not howl means I am suppressing my inner wolf.
I have absolutely no fucking idea why a wolf howls. Be it sexual gratification, suffering in agony or a mode of communication, I don't know and I don't give a damn. Werewolves don't howl. We hardly even growl. We are mostly mute creatures and we only yelp, a little mind you, when in pain. So there. And no, we can't damn it communicate with other creatures.
Howling is a form of expression, James. I just happen not to howl that often. And you don't really intend me to speak with the creatures from the Forbidden Forest. do you?
And Peter, dear Peter, so fucking innocent Peter, had asked what it takes to make a werewolf.
Well, courage of course. And lots of determination to spare. But mostly just a werewolf. Biting is the common way. But reproduction should also be fine. We are not eunuchs, you know?
A bite on the full moon. Otherwise, I don't think I can harm anyone.
So there you have it. The image of a nice and will-never-harm-anyone-on-purpose Remus. It is a wonder that they ever got to suspecting me of killing the Potters. But suspect me, they did. The one thing I did not do they accused me. Of course there was not enough evidence. And it turned out to be Sirius. But I remember what they said, oh yes I did.
The difference between anger and blood lust is minute, and you can hardly tell the difference on a furry face.