Orpheus Revisited

By L. M. Boulevardes

So Orpheus played the lyre and his song was so sad and so sweet

the King of Hell said that he would make a pact with him

to let him go down into the dark earth and return with his too-soon fallen bride

He only must have faith and not look back when they leave.

- telling of The Orpheus Myth as recorded in Book IV of Vergil's Georgics

Remus Lupin once returned from the dead and he doesn't understand it and isn't always certain that he wants to. He just knows that he woke up outside Hogwarts being lowered into a hole and began screaming because he was about to be buried alive. After that shock he was forced to St. Mungo's and prodded until they could figure out what had happened to him anyway. It was finally concluded that Dolohov had used a medieval curse on him that made the afflicted appear dead for some time, usually just long enough to get buried alive. Remus shuddered at the thought and went on to have awful nightmares for weeks.

These days, he is the ghost of Molly and Arthur's house because someone has to take care of the baby and he certainly isn't up to it. He's barely up to getting out of bed and eating, something that drives Molly insane. So he keeps odd hours and never really sleeps for any good length of time and spends a lot of time feeling lost and confused. He wanders around the fields a lot (another habit that drives Molly insane) and forgets to care about meeting something awful or self-preservation because nothing matters to him right now. He sometimes thinks it would all be for the better, that then his son wouldn't have a monster for a father, or worse this crippled undead thing that he's becoming. It's a cool summer morning when he's sitting in the garden fingering is wand, pretending that the ground doesn't scare him and musing that Sirius would have told him that he needed to do something dangerous to fix his trauma.

Ron looks out the window going downstairs to catch sight of Remus' patronus lighting up the sky.

"It's because he's a werewolf!" He declares at breakfast, garnering curious looks from Harry and Hermione. He flushes a bit at their stares and finishes chewing his bite of muffin, knowing what Hermione will say about talking with his mouth full if he doesn't. He takes a swig of pumpkin juice to finish faster, then grins at his friends smugly. "Lupin's patronus – it looks just like a Grim. It's because he's a werewolf, it's the dark-dog-creature connection. Makes sense now, couldn't figure it out before," he muses. Harry nods like he couldn't really care less about this information, but Hermione is quiet as her mind turns over this information. She stands abruptly.

"I'm going to the library," she announces as she clears her place. Harry again nods as Ron snorts something under his breath that she is sure justified her smacking him upside the head a moment later. She knows already the book she's looking for: The Patronus Spellbook.

If you want to cast a patronus, you have to think of a really happy memory, James instructs. He's in the Room of Requirement with Lily, Alice, Frank, Peter, Remus and Sirius. They're all unusually quiet, thinking about the fact that they're not supposed to be there, that they're supposed to be pretending that there isn't a war brewing outside Hogwarts' walls. They're supposed to pretend that they're normal seventh year students worried about nothing bigger than their N.E.W.T.S. This isn't true, of course, and that's why they're tucked away in this room wearing looks that show each person's personal mix of fear and determination.

Well, thinking of something happy can't be too hard now, Lily says at last. Maybe it doesn't even have to be a real memory. Maybe if you just think of something wonderful that you want to happen, like the end of the war. Her face brightens a minute, flickering with hope before she stuffs it down to better kill disappointment.

Yeah, okay. There you go. James smiles at her, then he grabs her hand and grins wider when she returns it and squeezes his hand. Alice cocks her head, thinking. Then she grabs her wand, mutters the incantation, and gasps when a flew silvery tendrils flow towards the ceiling. They don't take a form or last long, but she's delighted nonetheless.

Maybe we really can do this, Frank says, reaching for his wand now just as all the others are. The room echoes with the sound of expecto patronum well past curfew.

A patronus does not take the form of an evil creature, Hermione learns. She curls her knees under her chin, her hair falling in her face as she leans over the desk. This means that Remus' patronus can't be a Grim, but it doesn't really solve the question of what it might be. She frowns and bites her lip. A familiar itchy feeling is creeping up her neck like it always does when she doesn't know something and doesn't know how to find it out. She wonders why it's bothering her so much not to know; who cares what Lupin's patronus is? Who cares what its significance might be, if it really has any at all? She considers that she might be doing that thing again that annoys Ron where she can't stand to not know something however trivial it is. She scoffs when he says this and mutters about eighteen-year-old boys who are too immature to care about knowledge, but sometimes she thinks he's right and that she thinks too much about things.

She closes her book and contemplates what she's going to do next. She could go back to the Burrow and have a nice time with her friends, but the tightness in her stomach indicates that she won't get much out of that. Perhaps she needs to talk to an adult. Yes, that's it, she'll call on Minerva (it doesn't feel quite right yet, but she's getting there) and ask her what she thinks. In the months since the war she's been busy, but something in their relationship changed and Hermione could almost call her a mentor these days. Her lips quirk up as she begins to think of tea in Minerva's pretty sunroom and goes to put back the library book. Except at the last minute she checks it out and her cheeks burn for some reason she doesn't understand.

Lily's is a doe and James' is a stag, Remus tells Sirius as they sit by the lake. Wonder if they'd have spared themselves a good bit of trouble if they'd known that sooner. He smirks and Sirius drops his head back so the sun is on his neck. Remus sighs. You need a haircut.

You sound like your mum, Sirius replies. The birds like it. He flashes Remus his thousand-Galleon grin and for a moment the sun is not the brightest thing out that day.

You're going to look like a bird right soon. You already tie it up like one, he says, tugging on Sirius' dark ponytail. Sirius grunts and swats his hand away, rolling his eyes.

My wolftail is not girly. It is a badass manly wolf tail, like all those blocks with motorbikes. I'm going to get one when we get out of here, you know. Then I'm going to enchant to fly, and I'm going to fly over London so I can see all the lights, he says. Remus snorts.

You'll get yourself killed, that's what you'll do, he mutters. And wolftail? Really now, is that what you're calling it?

Yes. Because that's a manly name, and I am a manly man.

Yes. A manly man with a girly hairstyle.

Sirius turns to face Remus and suddenly their faces are really, really close. Sirius raise an eyebrow and Remus holds his gaze, smirking and not turning away.

I am a man, I'll have you know. I have the bits and hair and everything, Sirius says. He inches closer and he can feel Remus' breath on his face, hot and sticky and smelling of chocolate and musk. His stomach drops and he notices Remus has got a funny look in his eyes. He fists his hands in his robes finally drops Sirius' gaze.

So I guess your patronus will be what, a tyrannosaurus rex? He laughs uneasily. Sirius joins him after a minute and they spend the rest of the afternoon Not Touching.

"Biscuit?" Minerva offers. Hermione smiles and accepts a thumbprint cookie, dusting with sugar and filled with sweet blackberry jam. She takes a bite and Minerva pours the tea, adding her milk and sugar as she waits for Hermione to talk about what's bothering her. Minerva didn't get to where she was without being able to read students fairly well, and moreover she and Hermione are close enough now that it's like picking out colors in a painting.

"Ron thinks that Lupin's patronus is a Grim," she says after a minute. She avoids Minerva's gaze by fixing her tea.

"Not to insult Mr. Weasley's intelligence, but that just isn't possible. Lupin's patronus is a big, hairy dog, but completely innocuous," she scoffs. Hermione freezes and Minerva frowns.

"Big, hairy dog," Hermione mutters. She swallows, then shrinks under Minvera's gaze. The older woman's steely eyes would make the most Azkaban-hardened prisoner confess anything she demanded. She has a fleeting thought that Minerva could have been an excellent Auror.

"What are you thinking?" she asks. "Is there something significant there?" The sun filters into the room from the skylights, dappling everything in a pretty golden color. Hermione shrugs.

"It's probably nothing," she says. Then she launches into a discussion about House Elves and they don't talk about it anymore.

What did you think of? Sirius asks, staring at the stop where Remus' patronus almost materialized. It had taken some kind of form, but no one could tell what it was. It wasn't like when Lily did it, when she made that beautiful doe that was so bright and clear. It's not supposed to be all squishy and formless like Remus'.

I thought about the night that you all came to me as animagi, Remus says quietly. James, Peter and Sirius share a humble look and Sirius pretends not to feel something wet pricking behind his eyes. He can't be giving Remus more excuses to call him a girl now. I'm going to try again, Remus says after a minute. Again, there is a blast of silver light, and for a moment, it looks formless. Then something changes in Remus' eyes and there's a big hairy dog in the ether.

Yes! James shouts, clapping Remus into a man-hug. The girls cheer and Peter laughs in delight while Frank grabs Remus' shoulder.

You think of something different this time? Frank asks curiously. Remus nods, and though he looks calm enough Sirius can tell that he's about to lie before he opens his mouth.

I thought of each of you finding out that I was a werewolf, and that you didn't abandon me, he mutters. There are soft cooing noises and the girls are hugging Remus tightly, babbling about if course he's their friend and they love him and being a werewolf isn't really so different from menstruating, is it now? They group practices a little longer, but they're tired and soon they head back to the dorms. The couples hang back and disappear, clearly off for a snog. Peter declares he's patronus-casting is appetite-building work and heads off the kitchens for refreshment. Sirius muses that Peter will never be skinny, but he's not really fat either, he's just very solid. He would have been good on a farmer, hauling things around and what have you. He and Remus walk a bit, then Sirius can't stand it anymore and he whirls around to face his friend, both stopping in the middle of the hall.

You alright? Remus asks. Sirius squirms, then opens and shuts his mouth a few times because suddenly he isn't so sure that he should be doing what he was about to. He flails in indecision, then Remus growls out with it already, and Sirius makes up his mind.

You lied to Frank. Somehow it sounds better as a statement than a question. Remus gapes, then he starts walking quickly and Sirius has to chase him down. Why did you lie? He shouts, making Remus wince.

I don't want to talk about it. Sirius isn't sure if it's a good thing or not that Remus isn't denying anything.

Tell me anyway. He cuts Remus off, standing in front of him with his arms crossed and dark eyes narrowed. Remus trembles and Sirius feels his heart give an extra hard thump in his chest. Hey now, you can tell me, I'm your mate, what is it? He puts a gentle hand on Remus' should and Remus stares at the ceiling like he's trying not to cry.

I was thinking –

Go on.

I was thinking – I was thinking about the other day. At the lake. His voice is shaking and he scrunches his eyes shut. Can you stop now?

No. Tell me.

Merlin, Sirius. Shut up. Leave it alone.

I'm not going to. I want to know why you lied. It's not like you, he adds when Remus opens his mouth again. Something glints in his eyes and he takes a step back so Sirius isn't touching him anymore.

I was thinking about being at the lake, and the moment I thought you were going to kiss me, and I lied because I didn't want you to know! Then he runs off and Sirius is too surprised to catch him this time.

She does mean to stop there, she really does. But somehow that doesn't happen and she finds herself chatting with Molly and asking a lot of questions about other witches and wizards' patronuses. She asks about all the members of the Order and Molly is happy to remember her friends, gesturing and smiling as she recalls the good times they had enjoyed. Hermione has a hard time returning Molly's grin; she's too busy trying to pretend she isn't seeing patterns that make her stomach do funny things. Like James' was a stag, he animagus, and Lily's was a doe, and they loved each other. Snape's patronus was a doe too, because he loved Lily. Her own is an otter, and Ron's is a Jack Russell Terrier, a dog that chases otters. Her mind is spinning and rushing to a conclusion that she's not sure she's ready to face but can't stand not to know either.

"Do you know what Sirius' patronus was?" She tries to keep her voice casual and isn't sure if she succeeds, but for all of Molly's strength observation to detail isn't one of them.

"Sirius' was a werewolf," she replies. Hermione gives a strained nod and resists the urge to run away and read The Patronus Spellbook like it might change what she now knows.

You avoided me today, Sirius accuses, cornering Remus in the dorm room. Remus shrugs, keeping his face turned away. He pretends to be interested in something out the window. Remus, say something, he begs, timidly approaching the other. He stumbles when Remus turns around and he can see from his swollen eyes that he's been crying today.

Forget about it. It's really nothing, he says softly. Sirius swallows and takes another step forward.

Well, I don't want to, he says stubbornly. Remus is quiet and Sirius decides this is a positive sign. He ventures another couple steps, and now they're next to one another and Remus is looking at him with guarded eyes. Hey, he whispers with a small laugh. His hand shakes as he reaches up to touch Remus' hair, and slides his fingers into the golden strands. Remus hiccups and Sirius laughs again. No crying. You said I was the girly one.

You are, Remus replies. Then he leans forward and Sirius feels something warm and bright melt under his skin when Remus kisses him. It doesn't last long because Remus pulls away quickly, watching his face with anxious eyes. Sirius raises an eyebrow.

I was enjoying that, you know, he chastises. Remus' whole face lights up with hope. Wonder how strong your patronus will get with this memory. Then they're kissing again and this time there are tongues and lovely warm hands skimming shyly over clothes. They want to be too close, to touch and feel and own every bit of skin because it's taken too long to get here. So they kiss and they kiss and they kiss and at the next meeting Remus casts a patronus that fills the whole room.

"You look awful, Hermione," Ron comments. Ginny elbows him and even Harry gives him a disapproving look. Hermione shrugs because she knows he's right. "And why are you reading about patronuses anyway? Wait, does it same something about Grims?" he attempts to grab the book and Hermione cradles it to her chest protectively.

"It's not a Grim, Ron, it's a big black dog – "

"Like Sirius," Harry says quietly. There's a beat of silence.

"Yes," Hermione manages. Ginny looks nervously between them, while Ron just appears confused.

"Yeah, so – "

"Patronuses will often take a form related to the person you love," Ginny says. Ron turns bright red and Harry stiffens.

"What are you saying?" he asks, glaring at Hermione. Ron makes a wet gasping sound. "Remus and – "

"I'm not saying anything." Well, she isn't really, but they can all see right past that statement. Harry stomps out of the room and Ron follows. Ginny lingers.

"I saw them kiss once. They didn't know I was there." Then she's nothing but a red blur and Hermione is left alone to pretend this information doesn't hurt to know.

I am looking at all your scars tonight and there is nothing you can do to stop me, Sirius says, looming on Remus and letting his dark hair fall over them like a curtain. He steals a kiss and Remus squirms in the room's soft light. He wonders how long their friends will continue to believe he and Sirius decided to live together as "roommates" after graduation. Then he decides to worry about that later because Sirius is doing highly distracting things right now.

You're the most beautiful creature on earth. Sirius runs his fingers over each scar, then bites and kisses them and squeezes Remus' hands when he starts to silently cry. I love you, I love you, I love you, he whispers, moving so that he's on top of Remus and pressing their warm bodies together. Remus I love you. He is licking up the tears, dropping sticky kisses on his face.

I think I'm definitely the girl in the relationship now, Remus says and Sirius laughs. He ghosts his fingers over the other's sides and moans when Remus shivers.

I want to do something, Sirius declares. Remus doesn't have time to think before he finds himself being adjusted into a sort of sitting position and Sirius is parting his legs. He drops his head and Remus hisses, falling back against the pillows and gripping the other's dark hair in his fingers. The room is filled with the little of little sucking noises interspersed with whining moans that echo a dog's whimpering. Fingers curl tighter as hips twitch and then suddenly there's release, almost painful in its pleasure. He pants and opens his eyes to find Sirius leaning over him with dark, hungry eyes.

That is the fucking sexist thing I have ever seen, he groans. Remus blinks. Fuck your insecurities, Moony, I want to see that every time. I will never get tired of that. He growls and captures his lips in a searing, bruising kiss with teeth against pink lips and hot tongues. He grinds his hips into Remus'.

I still don't know what you're talking about, Remus pants when Sirius pulls away after a minute. He gives a throaty laugh.

I loved watching your face when you came, he whispers, head right against Remus' ear. He makes a strangled sound then grabs Sirius' shoulders so that now Sirius is on the bottom and grinning conspiratorially. Fuck me and let me see your face again, he says, pulling Remus down so he's closer. It's amazing how he can do that, how he still seems like he's the one with all the power. But Remus doesn't mind and they move together in the moonlight so that you couldn't tell where one began and the other ended. And as they do, they are scattering the words I love you all over the bed like flower petals.

"Sirius didn't remember, so I think I'm the only one who really knows this anymore, but Remus used to visit him in Azkaban. He would go and sit outside his cell, and he would hold his hand. Sometimes Sirius would put his head in his lap and Remus would cry and stroke his hair, muttering that everything would okay. The dementors avoided them." Arthur is looking at Hermione sadly and it kind of hurts.

"They were together. They loved each other," she whispers, tears leaking out of her eyes. Arthur nods.

"Dumbledore used to go to Remus' home. It wasn't so bad when Sirius was in prisoner but after the Veil – " Arthur's voice catches a minute. "After the Veil, he didn't get out of bed much. It was – it wasn't a good time." Hermione nods.

"I should go see him." She doesn't wait for Arthur's reply, just walks around the house until she finds a room that might have been an office at one time but now it mostly used to store clutter. She opens a bathroom door and finds Remus in his usual safe place, an old white claw-foot bathtub. The curtains are open and light comes in from the windows and skylights. He doesn't like the dark, he likes to be in the light and to feel like he isn't being confined. He panics in basements. Remus has a red blanket over his shoulders and for the first time Hermione recalls that she knows it from Sirius' bed at Grimwald Place. "Hello, Remus," she says softly.

Snape feels bad looking at Remus. The green glass bottle in his hand shakes slightly, through he would deny so much if asked. He puts it on a table and steps closer, half-impressed at the damage Lupin has managed to inflicts on himself. There are open wounds still, bones sticking out at odd angles. The healers in St. Mungo's had to regrow organs he tore out, even a couple of bones. And this was all on the wolfsbane potion, they whisper to each other, pretending they are not gossiping about their patient. Dumbledore had said it was bad, but Snape hadn't understood that he meant it was this.

One of Lupin's bones snaps itself into place and he wakes with a start, looking around in a daze. He blinks and Snape flushes with self-consciousness, squirming under those amber eyes. He thrusts the bottle at Lupin.

Dumbledore stepped out a minute, he'll be right back. It's a bone mending potion. He says stiffly. Remus gives a tiny nod. Well, go on, drink it, I haven't poisoned it and even if I had you'll probably be fine being here. Remus blinks and Snape takes another hit of guilt as he considers that given his condition a little poison actually might kill Lupin.

He's too weak to drink it on his own, Dumbledore supplies as he re-enters the room. Remus closes his eyes and Dumbledore takes his hand. Somehow, his small old fingers dwarf Remus' big ones; Snape suddenly has a thought that they're puppy paws. He's sleeping again.

You didn't say it was like this, Snape accuses quietly. Dumbledore's shoulders slump and Snape wonders if he's managed to be a disappointment yet again.

How did you feel when Lily died, Severus? Snape doesn't respond to the question; he doesn't need to, Dumbledore already knows. This is worse than that. Sirius fell beyond the Veil, Severus, he's not even properly dead. Imagine how that might haunt a person. He blames himself.

So they were –

He's lost his mate, Severus. You know what it feels like to mourn the loss of your mate. You know how it feels when they are there but not, when their breath keeps dancing on your fingertips but you can never taste their lips.

"It smells like him. It gave it to him for his birthday first year. October the seventh." Remus reports like he's anticipated Hermione's question. She doesn't know what to say so she doesn't say anything at all.

"I bet he loved it," she says softly, taking his hand. He shrugs, dead eyes trained on the bathtub drain. He pulls the blanket tighter.

"Sometimes I think I'm going to die of a broken heart. I wonder if one person can withstand so much and not just break," he mutters. He's too numb to even cry, but he looks up when Hermione grabs his shoulders.

"Don't ever say that! None of them – Sirius – would not want anything bad to happen to you!" she shouts. "And you loved him. You loved him like Lily loved James." There it is. The truth is out and all over the white tile floor for everyone to see.

"I still love him," Remus says hoarsely. She holds his head against her chest and then she sobs while he takes deep breaths.

It's okay, you know, Tonks says. Remus blinks and she sits up straighter, pulling the blankets around her body. He wants to touch her, but he fumbles and doesn't.

What are you talking about?

You'll always love him more. Love him first, I mean, she says. It's okay. I don't mind sharing, not really. You two had – it's more than this. She gestures between them and Remus balks.

I love you.

But you love him first.

Her words hang in the air like a dementor, soaking up all the happy and the scent of sex that had lingered before. He tries to shake his head but instead he cries and she then she starts crying too and they wrap around each other, skin on skin.

It's okay that you love him more. It's okay, she repeats. They're crying and kissing and fucking and he doesn't know who's trying to do what to who.

But I love you.

I know you love me. It's enough, my love. It's enough.

She envelopes him in her heat and when he cries out Si-ri-us she kisses his forehead.

"So it's true?" Harry asks, lingering in the kitchen while Remus stares at him tea. Something about it is confusing him, but he's not sure what and he thinks he might start crying soon and give up. "You want to let it steep only a bit, then milk and sugar." Harry solves the problem by fixing the tea for him and gently taking his arm to guide him to the table. He also fetches muffins and shoves one in Remus' hand with a stern look that could almost challenge Molly.

"Don't hate us," he says feebly. Harry sighs and Remus ducks a piece of muffin in his tea, anxiety creeping up again when part of it breaks off. It takes a few minutes, then he remembers to use his spoon to fish the bit out. He isn't sure if he feels proud or pathetic.

"Harry, you're up," Hermione says in surprise. He raises an eyebrow at her and takes in her full dress.

"So are you," he accuses. She blushes as Arthur joins them.

"Everyone ready? Harry, you joining us as well?" he asks. Harry growls in response.

"What's going on?" He glares at Hermione who purses her lips.

"We're taking Remus to visit the Veil. To see if it might give him some closure," she says in a strained voice. She is looking daggers at Harry threatening him to say a word against any of it.

"Yeah, I'm going." He gives her a hard look and she says nothing.

We are not naming him Sirius.

But Tonks looks at him like she thinks that's what he wants to better hold to that one he still calls for at night when he's having a bad dream, and he looks at her like she's been lying about what she's okay with and doesn't believe him when he says he really doesn't want to give their son that name. So it is that there is a ghost in their house that must be able to shapeshift into a vampire, because they see it in every corner and it is sucking the life out of them both.

At first Arthur thinks he's made a terrible mistake. Remus sits and won't part with the red blanket, and in the meantime people are asking questions and giving him weird looks. He insisted on using the bathroom at every level as they sunk deeper into the earth, and it hurt them all to see him so humiliated. Harry and Hermione take turns comforting Remus and snapping at Unspeakables who try to approach them.

"Let him mourn, will you?" Harry growls at the latest women. She sniffs angrily and mutters something about getting security. Arthur frowns.

"Maybe it's time to leave," he says as kindly as he can, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. Remus looks at them for first the first time and then stands up. Before they can stop him he is shouting "Expecto patronum!" and his dog is skittering through the arch.

"Mr. Weasley! Mr. Lupin!" shouts a man, storming over to them. "Now, I respect what you're doing here, but we can't have you acting like – " He is cut off by a flash of light. First, there are silvery tendrils, and then there is the form of a werewolf. Then something solid is moving towards them, coming out of the archway.

Sirius Black once returned from the dead and he doesn't understand it and isn't always certain that he wants to. He just knows that he walked out from behind the Veil and there is Remus with tears streaming down his face. He tells him that he's supposed to be the girl in the relationship because he has the long hair, then Remus hugs him so tightly it hurts.

"This isn't how I remember things," he says slowly, and everyone is looking at him like they don't know whether to laugh or cry. Then Arthur and Harry and Hermione trip over each other to hug him and this doesn't help his confusion at all.

"This has never happened before," sputters the Unspeakable man. The woman has returned with her promise security, but they aren't doing anything, just watching the reunion with big eyes. Even after the others have pulled away Remus hangs on, sobbing openly. Sirius pets his hair.

"It's okay," he mutters. He kisses the top of his head, unsure what their current plan is. When they were younger it was all out, but then it was Azkaban and then there was confusion and just being quiet, not hiding but not going out of their way to alert anyone either. Remus answers the question for him by smashing their faces together and kissing him like he wants to taste his soul. "Hey, hey," he coos when Remus pulls away, shaking and sniffing.

"You died," he whispers, gripping Sirius' hands. "You went beyond the Veil and you died. Three years ago," he chokes. Sirius swallows.

"Well, Harry, you do look taller," he comments. Harry laughs wetly and hugs him again.

"How did this happen?" the woman Unspeakable is demanding. Sirius blinks at her and tells himself not to snap at her because it will just upset Remus more.

"I saw his patronus and I knew I had to come." The department erupts in noise and he doesn't really understand because he doesn't remember much of anything except darkness until he saw the silver dog and knew he had to respond and follow. "Come on, love," he says softly, putting his arm around Remus. He shepherds him to the elevators, holding him as they move towards the ground level.

"I suppose no one will mind much if I leave early today, don't know?" Arthur says. And then they all laugh and it makes Sirius think of bubbles.

"Sirius, do you remember in seventh year Lily said to think of the best thing that could happen to create a patronus instead of something good that had already happened?" Remus' head is in Sirius' lap and they're sitting on the floor of Molly's living room while she bakes and makes tea ("We have to celebrate!"). Sirius makes a hum of agreement. "I did that. I thought of you coming back when I cast the patronus today." His voice is muffled against Sirius' jean-clad thigh.

"Well, someone had to help you raise the kid up right. I can't believe you have a baby," he replies. Remus stiffens.

"I hope you aren't upset."

"It's exactly what I would have wanted you to do." They're silent for a minute, the pain of time pressing down on them. "Orpheus." He grins as Remus looks up at him, then kisses him and whispers oh my Eurydice.