Can You Hear Me?
His lips were unresponsive against hers as she kissed him causing the tears which had gathered in her eyes to fall against his cheeks. Taking a slow breath Denise composed herself a little, biting back the remainder of her tears. 'I love you.' She whispered inaudibly, placing a soft kiss to his cheek before moving away from his bedside. With a last look at Kush, Denise turned her back on Carmel and Shakil, barely acknowledging them as she left the room.
In the hospital corridor outside Kush's room Denise slumped into a hard plastic chair. Everything had happened so fast. One minute Kush had walked away from their argument and the next thing she knew he was on the ground. If Sonia hadn't been there to take control, it didn't bear thinking about. He'd still seemed so lifeless when they'd eventually been able to see him in hospital, hooked up to all those different machines, each one with its own rhythmic, constant beep which would surely drive her crazy if it wasn't so vital. He'd had a heart attack, they'd said, but how someone as young, fit and healthy as Kush could have one of those was beyond her current level of comprehension.
Alone in the corridor Denise ran her hands through her hair. Was this her fault? She couldn't help feeling like she'd brought this upon them. If she hadn't entered into arguing with him, Kush wouldn't have stormed off. Was that what this came down to? Surely she knew better than to let herself get mixed up in the minefield of what ifs that surrounded them. Sighing to herself Denise stood, finding herself glancing back through the window in the door before she could stop herself. Steadying herself with a hand against the wall she could feel her legs shaking as she began to walk away.
A while later Denise returned with a plastic cup of hot, dark liquid that presented itself as coffee. It tasted like nothing of the sort but she barely noticed, ditching her empty cup in a nearby bin. At that moment a door opened across the corridor and a quiet voice called her name. Denise closed her eyes and paused for a moment before turning to join Carmel. If she knew the details of her son's collapse, that their row had most likely factored in this, Carmel would never speak to her again. 'The doctor said we should keep talking to him.' Carmel spoke in hushed tones, stood in the doorway to Kush's room.
Carmel lightly placed a hand onto Denise's arm, her words taking Denise by surprise a little. 'I think he'd rather hear your voice than mine.' She admitted quietly. 'Oh, Carmel.' Despite herself Denise pulled her friend into a hug. 'I don't know about that.' As they pulled away Shakil joined them by the door. 'We'll leave you to it.' Carmel said with a lasting look at Kush. It was clear that she didn't want to leave her son's side and only a faint hope that Denise could reach Kush was forcing her to give them space. Half smiles passed between them as the two friends switched places before Carmel slowly walked away with Shakil close by her side.
Left alone in Kush's room Denise let the door close softly behind her. 'Hey.' Her voice was barely audible above the machines. She crossed the room to sit beside Kush's bed. 'It's me.' Denise said, slipping her hand into Kush's whilst placing her other hand on top to encase his hand within hers. She watched him carefully before lightly sighing to herself. 'I'm probably the last person you want here right now.' She willed him to reply, to tell her he wanted her to stay but she knew he couldn't. 'I'm sorry.' Denise whispered, her guilt slowly emerging. 'If I'd just...' Her whisper fell away to nothing.
Denise's gaze fell to where her hands held his upon the edge of the bed. 'I've had my own space for so long, I'm not sure I'm ready to change that.' She began to explain. 'Even for you.' Denise glanced across at Kush. 'The most decent man I've ever met.' A half smile crossed her lips. 'The most decent man who's ever loved me, that's for sure.' Her gaze lingered over him, this loving man who never held back the way he felt about her. 'You're nothing like him.' She paused, her voice dropping to a low whisper as she spoke the name. 'Owen.' She swallowed, moved on. 'You'd never hurt me like he did.' It didn't need saying but she said it regardless, filling the silence which, save for the constant beeping of the machines, filled the room when she didn't speak.
The half smile which had once played across her lips returned before slowly broadening. 'You make me so happy.' She played her fingers against his, remembering. 'I love you, Kush.' Denise told him. 'I know I don't say it as much as I should, but that doesn't mean I don't feel it.' She placed one hand against her chest as she spoke, holding her hand close to her heart. 'In here.'
At that moment she felt a gentle squeeze against her hand which made her breath catch in her throat. 'Kush?' It was as though he'd felt her remove a hand from his and hadn't wanted to lose touch of her completely. Denise leaned towards him, watching him closely. 'Can you hear me?' She softly asked, certain that his hold over her hand felt stronger now, but no other response came. 'Kush?' She whispered, her initial happiness beginning to fade until she noticed his eyes beginning to flicker a little. Denise smiled with relief, her eyes brimming with tears that she somehow managed to hold back. Slowly she released the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.
Intending to find a nurse Denise began to move away but as she did she was certain she felt his hand tighten a little against hers. 'Kush?' She spoke softly, watching his eyes flickering open as he woke. 'D?' Kush mumbled. 'Hey.' She whispered, not trusting herself to say anything more. Instead she leant close, lightly placing her hand against the side of his face. 'I love you, D.' Kush slowly mumbled. She smiled softly at him, gently running her thumb over his lips to stop him from saying anything else. Once again her tears fell against his cheeks but this time, when she softly kissed his lips she felt his light response.