Summary: Ninth Doctor. Rose finds the Doctor cleaning the top of the TARDIS and she has something to say about that.

Spoilers? None!

I disclaim.

A/N: Inspired by my new Rose Tyler figurine and my new model TARDIS whose doors open with super-cool sound effects. Know what I'm talking about? Yep? Anyhoo, it's meant to be light-hearted, funny (though I doubt it) and rather pointless, so enjoy!

On Top of the TARDIS

They had stopped at the Powell Estate for a short visit, because Jackie had called Rose's superphone and declared that they had been away for far too long. They had both gone up for a short while, but the Doctor made a quick getaway after being strangled to near-regeneration by Jackie-in-a-good-mood, leaving Rose to deal with her happy (and dare she say slightly tipsy?) mum all by herself. But happy-Jackie was far better than angry-Jackie. Rose would take happy-Jackie any day, and she'd bet her money's worth that the Doctor would too.

All in all, her short visit at home wasn't bad. Rose mercifully cut out details about the real deal with Van Statten's museum, Satellite Five and Adam and instead emphasised the relaxing, trouble-free experiences she had, so when it was time to go her mum was still in happy-Jackie mode. Rose was glad it all went well.

She was about to step into the TARDIS when something above it caught her eye. Actually, it was someone, looking very peculiar.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" She stepped back a few paces and shaded her eyes from the glare of the sun to see if she was hallucinating or not.

"What does it look like?"

So she wasn't hallucinating.

"Oh, don't give me that look Rose Tyler!" He shook his finger at her.

Rose folded her arms. "When you said you were going to fix the TARDIS, I thought you meant inside."

"She's all done inside!"

Rose shook her head in disbelief. "Doctor, you look like a squirrel up a tree," she said, her patience wearing thin.

"Really? That's interesting." He stopped work for a moment and wriggled over the side of the TARDIS to get a better look at Rose, who blinked in shock and stared right back.

"You're wearing sunglasses," she deadpanned.

"Yes, I am," he returned, unfazed.

"That's…retro. I mean, you wearing sunglasses, with some bright yellow sponge in your hand, perched on top of the TARDIS! Cleaning it!"

He looked insulted. "Who else would if I didn't? Besides, a lot of dirt gets stuck up here."

"Like what, cobwebs?" she asked, saying the first thing off the top of her head.

"Yep."

"Cobwebs?" Rose couldn't believe her ears.

"What's wrong with that?" he asked, bewildered.

"Well… I thought it'd be more…technobabble mumbo jumbo, you know."

"Nope." He grinned.

Rose wrinkled her nose. "Why bother cleaning cobwebs though?"

He sighed and lectured in a long-suffering tone, "Rose, she has to stay clean otherwise no one would see her fantastic light show when she materialises."

"…you're telling me you rigged up the light to make it do that."

"Of course I did!"

She laughed. "You think you're so flash."

"I am so flash!"

"Good try," she grinned.

"See these sunglasses?" he pointed. "They're what makes me flash."

"They look bad on you!"

"Oh, I'm hurt."

Rose laughed along with him and climbed up the ladder leaning against the TARDIS. "It looks spotless to me," she observed dryly.

"That's 'cause I'm done. Now shoo!" He nudged her down the ladder again and folded it up while asking, "So where to next?"

Rose wasn't listening though. "Doctor…" she said, pointing several floors up her apartment where the curtains twitched. "I think my mum was watching."

"Oh. Well we didn't do anything wrong. Did we?"

"Dunno. She was in a good mood when I left, but that was because she was drunk."

"Ah," he nodded wisely. "Humans and alcohol. Never a good combination." He grinned and pulled her into the TARDIS. "So go on!" He bounded up the ramp to the console and began flicking an assortment of buttons and levers. "Where do you want to go?"

"You pick!" she grinned. "Though, the landing better be smooth since you found the time to tinker with the outside of the TARDIS!"

"Of course it'll be smooth! It always is!"

"Yeah?" Rose looked at him disbelievingly.

He held up a finger and said one word. "Watch."

He pulled the dematerialisation lever and the floor under their feet was jerked away. On the ground and clutching the railing for dear life, Rose enquired sarcastically, "You were saying?"

At least he had the decency to look embarrassed.

END

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