A/N: I'm not sure what possessed me to write this. I just did. And… well… I guess it's pure, shameless crack. What is this I don't even. Enjoy this—er—interesting fanfiction. And happy birthday, Kat. Hope you enjoy this… present… *cough* Please review and tell me what you think. I shall have chapter two uploaded this Friday or Saturday. Depends.
Bleach does not belong to me. It belongs to Tite Kubo.
Ichigo walked into Urahara's shop, wearing his usual expression, looking as though he was constipated. He went through one of the doors into the main room where meetings were held to see Renji, Ikkaku, Orihime, and Rukia sitting there around the table, drinking tea. Needless to say, he was surprised. Reason one; there wasn't even a meeting. He was just stopping by to ask a few questions. Reason two; there was quite a lot of yelling coming from another room, sounding suspiciously like Yumichika's and Rangiku's voices.
"Hey," Ichigo said, glancing around the room at each person. "What're you all doing here? I didn't know we were holding a meeting," he sighed, scratching the back of his head with a bored look on his face.
Renji glanced at Ichigo, Rukia and Orihime following suit, while Ikkaku didn't even turn his head. Renji shook his head. "We're not."
Ichigo cast a confused glance in his direction. "Why are all of you here then?" Renji couldn't seem to answer that question, apparently unsure of why he himself was there.
Rukia was about to speak, but was cut off by Ikkaku. "Rangiku told us to get our asses over here, saying she had a surprise. I've got no clue what it is though," he said gruffly, looking over his shoulder at Ichigo. The yelling in the other room continued, getting slightly quieter, but then growing in volume once more. Rukia sat back and resigned herself to listening.
"What's with all that yelling?" Ichigo asked, becoming annoyed with the noise. Rukia was, once again about to answer, but was cut off by Renji this time. She frowned, looking quite annoyed at the fact she wasn't getting a chance to talk.
"Yumichika made a bet with Rangiku. And he lost it. Rangiku's making him do something, but we don't know what it is," he explained. Finally, Rukia got her chance to speak.
"But from what we can hear, Yumichika-san definitely doesn't agree with what he is being made to do," she said, giving her input. Orihime nodded, letting out a small hum of agreement.
"Rangiku-san said we would all like it," Orihime added, beaming. "I can't wait to see it."
Renji scratched the back of his head, sighing heavily while Ichigo sat next to him. "I kinda feel sorry for Yumichika. Rangiku's gonna torture him," he said with slight amusement, but obviously feeling sorry for the vain Soul Reaper. Ururu came in quietly with tea, setting the cups down on the table and bowed upon being thanked. She scurried out of the room quickly and silently.
Ichigo took a sip of tea, setting the cup down on the table with a serious look. "Hey, where is Urahara anyway?" he asked them, eyeing Renji specifically.
They all shrugged. "What? How can you guys not know? Renji, you've got to know where the guy is. You mooch off of him all the time," Ichigo exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"Hey! I'm not mooching off of him!" Renji retorted, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards into a demented smile.
"Oh yeah? Then prove it, you moocher," Ichigo taunted, leaning in closer to Renji. Both were smiling dangerously, forehead to forehead. Renji smirked coyly.
"Heh. Is that a challenge?" he asked, voice dangerously low.
"Bring it on, Mr. Moocher."
Rukia then walked right behind the two, smacking them both in the head roughly. "Shut up, both of you. I'm sick of you two fighting," she frowned, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at the two males. Ikkaku just face palmed.
Renji and Ichigo were about to argue, but Orihime spoke up. "Hey, did it just get quieter, or is it just me?" she asked, looking nervous. And she was right. The yelling from the other room had stopped and the place was extremely quiet now in comparison to before. Ichigo and Renji paused and settled back down in their spots, unnerved.
There was a pregnant silence, each person looking nervously at each other, wondering why the shouting had abruptly stopped like that. Ikkaku broke the tension, muttering quietly.
"Maybe Yumi gave in?" he said quietly, more to himself than anyone else. Renji looked at him curiously, as Ikkaku never called Yumichika "Yumi" with anyone else around. Ikkaku always kept that nickname private, as the narcissist did not like his name being shortened around everyone else.
The silence continued on afterwards and seemed to last forever. After what felt like an eternity to everyone, Rangiku emerged from the other room. She was smirking and looked incredibly pleased with herself, which was just gaining many confused looks from everyone. The strawberry blond walked over to Orihime and sat down next to the orange haired girl, putting an arm around her shoulders.
"He's nearly ready to come out now~" she chirped happily, beaming at everyone while Orihime smiled nervously. "Come on Yumichika~ Time to show them all~" she called out, eyes twinkling mischievously.
"I don't want to!" was the somewhat muffled reply from behind the door. Rangiku frowned, pursing her lips.
"You either come out now, or I'll drag you out. And I'm sure that will make it worse for you," she said back, smirking once more. Everyone else in the room looked back and forth between the arguing two, starting to feel it was pointless.
There was shuffling, but Yumichika let out something that sounded like a groan and an affirmative reply.
Rangiku then pointed to the room Yumichika was in. "Look there, will you? You'll like the little surprise," she hummed.
The door opened, and Yumichika stepped out.