AN: To continue my tradition of obscure crossovers, here's a Hetalia/TF2 mix. …Shewhoisawesome made me do it! XD Just sit back and enjoy what I write when I'm up late with a derp-tacular crossover premise. I'll publish it tomorrow. Also, a few characters I wanted to use didn't have official human names; so I Google'd popular/traditional names for their countries. So, Cuba = Adelmo, Scotland = Colla, and Netherlands = Allard. Please let me know if I'm missing something :)

Chapter 1

RED

"Dear God, man! Quit sleeping on the job, we need you to continue repairs!" A loud British voice interrupted a peaceful dream, suspected to be featuring cats.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my friend. I guess I fell asleep."

"Sorry, nothing! It's my job to bust everything up and it's your job to fix it!" Bushy eyebrows set in a frown, he returned to… whatever he was doing, the sleepy Engineer couldn't be bothered to find out.

"Ah, Heracles, you sleep too much." He chuckled to himself, before taking a wrench and crawling towards one of his sentries, pausing occasionally to dodge a bullet. Glancing behind him, he noted that the rest of his team still had the flag good and secure. Nodding to himself, he began to work on a particularly beaten-up sentry gun, the gunfire pounding in the background and the odd 'boom' from Arthur, making a relaxing backdrop of noise. Maybe it wouldn't hurt for him to fall asleep for a little while.

"Bam, bam, bam! Hahaha, dude! I'm so fast, no-one can catch me!" Albert alternately giggled and shouted, racing towards the oncoming BLU Medic, weaving so as to avoid gunshot wounds. He couldn't let the BLU offense get healed…! "Wa-hey!" He yelled, with a cheerful swing of his baseball bat, catching the BLU Medic square in the jaw!

"Alfred, you fool, it's me! Francis!" The Medic's white coat faded, to show the snappy red suit of a Spy.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that, dude! Gotta run!" He rushed in the opposite direction, managing to stomp on the Heavy weapons guy's foot. "Matthias, man! Sorry, dude!" Francis shook his head, then held his jaw in pain.

"Medic!" His cry blended with an identical request coming from somewhere nearby.

"Medic!" It appeared that Adelmo was in trouble too. Soon, the hum of a medigun was to be heard.

"Never fear, the awesome Gilbert is here!" Spinning around with medigun at full power, no teammate (friend or foe) was left untouched, before the Medic ran off into the general melee. Above their heads, in a nearby building, a Pyro knocked on an old doorframe.

"Ah, Yao. Please, be coming in." The Sniper nodded at the masked figure in the doorway, which entered and sat down. "I see this man. You see crosshairs? Perfect setup. And…" He pulled the trigger. "Headshot." Yao began tugging at Ivan's scarf, gesturing towards the door. "What is it?" Having, it seemed, no time to explain, the Pyro grabbed his flamethrower and began lighting Ivan's lair on fire. "I see – we need to go." Rushing outside, Yao returned to the wider battle with a little skip of glee, while Ivan dived into a nearby door way and began scaling the stairs to a new hidey-hole.

BLU

"Feliciano, unless you get out there in the next ten seconds there will be no pasta until next week!"

"Aah! Ve, ve, I'll go!" Slightly quicker than the speed of light, an ahoge whizzed past a stern German expression, which turned to the figure beside him.

"It is a shame that this is the only way we can motivate him."

"Well, he always was an idiot."

"Aren't you supposed to be out there as well, Lovino?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"I guess so." The soldier emerged from the base onto the battlefield, without enthusiasm – before he was grazed by a passing bullet, "Okay, who did that!?" when he zoomed off in search of the offender. The man who remained sighed.

"Medic!" Preparing his medigun, Ludwig entered the fray, listening for the cry of the wounded. It seemed to be coming from the right… yep, the Sniper was in trouble. "Please, be careful with how much you use!" Roderich, frugal as ever.

"Why didn't you get a silencer this time!?" Ludwig demanded, ignoring Roderich's request to watch the medigun use.

"Do you know how much they cost!?"

"He does have a point." Their attention was grabbed by a calm voice, from behind a nearby sentry gun. "Those silencers aren't the cheapest equipment we can get. I find it much more efficient to use old sentry parts, sculpted like so." The owner of the voice was in the process of making a silencer out of the pieces of a broken sentry, occasionally pausing to repair another.

"At least Mr. Honda knows what I'm talking about!" – But Ludwig was already being called away – by Allard, to be precise. 'He is excellent with the heavy weapons,' he thought, 'but his self-preservation instincts leave something to be desired.' He ducked into a building, so as to allow the Pyro (who was giving off muffled noises of alternately concern and anger) to do his work.

"Ahaha, Emil, laddie! Ah ain't seen such a mess in all me life!" A booming Scottish voice congratulated the Pyro, accompanied by gunshots. "Ah think ah may be able to make it even better!" Tossing a few grenades into the air, he laughed again and dived into the melee. A nearby shadow shook her head. 'I'll never understand their tactics.' Natalia smiled a little as she slipped closer to an enemy building. 'Big Brother won't be able to notice me this time… not until I'm right next to him…' Crawling up the stairs on her hands and knees, sidling through the old doorframe, and she was right behind Ivan. At last.

"Hello, Big Brother." The RED Sniper turned in shock, grabbing a knife from his belt (well his rifle wouldn't be much use in hand-to-hand combat, would it?).

"Go away! I've told you before!" Ivan fairly sobbed, pushing her out of the door – and down the steps.

"Ah! Ow!" She landed at the bottom. "No-one eludes Natalia!" An ahoge with a strong Italian accent whizzed by:

"Then you'd better find him before he gets another roost!" Growling gently, Natalia skulked towards another building, leaving the battle raging behind her.

"No-one eludes Natalia… not even Big Brother…"

AN: Tell me what you think! And how much you hate me for getting the classes wrong! ^^; I got it all off the Hetalia Archives and what I thought of the show… and if anyone finds the human names obscure (and I know there are some that are), then I got most of them off the Hetalia Archives :3