I Solemnly Swear
By Chinesemoon
Warning: This story contains SLASH, which is male/male pairings. If you are offended by this, please don't read. This isn't meant to be offensive in any way, so please don't get mad at me.
A/N: I was thinking about this idea since I posted "Mischief Managed." Here it is, guys—the sequel! Enjoy! My second SLASH and counting!
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Honest to God! I have a few dollars but don't sue me; I was planning on buying a lovely brain with my $7.64!
We've always been friends. Ever since I took my first fateful step off of that big red steam engine, I knew I'd found my whole life in front of me. Sirius was the first person I befriended. When I recall that story, no one is surprised. I know things about Sirius now that I'm not sure anyone else in this world will ever find out. Like that the daring and fearless Sirius Black is secretly afraid of darkness, or that he was beat up quite often before he came to Hogwarts. Yes, sir, as soon as Sirius Black barged into that train compartment and sat down next to me, I knew we'd be best friends.
Remus was second. So alone in the world, I thought we'd have nothing in common when I first laid eyes on him. He was late to school, and Sirius could talk of nothing but why Remus Lupin was two months late to the start of term. Why, why, why. Sirius always had to know the answer. He encouraged me at once to let us add Remus to our nightly strolls, our daily pranks, and our occasional study group. What could I do? You don't say no to Sirius. Yet, as we spent more time with the mysterious Remus Lupin, I began to grow fond of him. His shyness and intellect engaged me, while his more strict obedience kept Sirius and me in line more often than not.
It wasn't long before Remus and Sirius became the two closest people to me. I found laughter in Sirius, and a laid back humor in Remus. In second year, Remus spilled pumpkin juice all over Peter Pettigrew's Potions homework, causing him to be added to the study group that Remus always forced upon us. Peter was in such awe of us – of me. I liked the attention he gave me. I liked the fact that someone fancied me a cool person. Good thing Sirius was there to keep my head straight.
"Now, James," he'd say with a grin. "Don't listen to little Peter. He'll be giving you a big head."
Third year. That's when we found out, Sirius and I. I remember how hard he looked to find an answer to Remus's disappearance; I remember how long he poured over those library books. Answers, we must find answers! Finally it hit, just like a tidal wave. Werewolf. How blind we were! Remus was a werewolf! Another three months, and Sirius was shoving Animagus books under my nose saying, "There it is, James. The answer. Suppose I'll look good as a dog?"
I never saw Remus so emotional as when Sirius marched up to him and said, "Well, mate, you're an animal, and now so are we."
I thought Remus would cry. I thought I would cry too. Sirius had that effect on people!
Fifth year rolled around and I began to notice things. Little things, really. It wasn't that anything was particularly eye-catching. However, as I said, I knew those two like the back of my hand. Maybe I was oversensitive to Sirius putting his arm around Remus while walking, or Remus staring when Sirius wasn't looking. Little things, right?
During sixth year, I took a real shine to Lily Evans. For years I'd had her on my radar, but she still ignored me. I had to chase her half way across the grounds before she stopped to talk to me.
"Come on, Lily," I whined. "Just go out with me once. Give it a go."
A smile crept onto those lovely lips of hers. "Yes, Potter. Now will you shut up?"
Boy did I shut up. That's when we started going out. Each day, I fancied her more and more, and each day, I watched as Sirius and Remus moved closer and closer to each other's realm of friendship. Was I losing my best mate? I began to wonder if Sirius held Remus at a higher level than me. Lily Evans always temporarily cleared my mind of such things, as I came closer and closer to holding her in my embrace.
Things began to change between us. We were still the best of mates, maybe even closer, but my watch upon my two best friends grew more and more skeptical. Sirius's whispering voice and Remus's sudden blush were beginning to raise a dawning comprehension in me. I frowned at the slightest of touches between them. It was different between Sirius and me, or Remus and me.
At dinner one night, I felt vague surprise register in me when I caught Sirius grinning at Remus. Remus wasn't even looking; he was too busy snarfing down his kidney pie. It was there, it was unmistakable there in Sirius's eyes. Longing. Longing for our mutual friend, Remus Lupin.
If I had any remaining doubts, they were immediately cleared one evening in general. I recall it so well. Peter had been sleeping in class, and was given detention. I couldn't have cared then; my mind was too busy planning my night with Lily Evans. After class, I grabbed my invisibility cloak and ran to meet her.
It was late when I returned to the dormitory. The Marauders Map was held tightly in my hand and I climbed the stairs. Remus and Sirius were clearly labeled on the map as being in our dorm room. I wanted to chat with them, about anything. I grinned, and planned to scare them. I knew how high pitched Sirius's voice became when I startled him. I needed a laugh then, and suddenly appearing in the dorm room would surely catch them off guard.
I pushed the door open and silently laughed. What a riot—
My mouth dropped open slightly and I blushed harder than I ever had kissing Lily as I stared half in fear and half in amazement at my two best friends – kissing.
I thought quickly about backing out of the room, and running right out of the common room, when Sirius pulled back.
"A scarlet flush suits you, Moony."
If either of them heard my slight gasp they didn't make any move of it. I felt awful to be witnessing this event that was none of my concern, and by the look on Remus's face, the first of its kind.
I think...
I backed out carefully and stood on the other side of the door. I had to get my face back to normal, so I stood and pondered what I'd just seen. My best friends were in love. The funny thing was I already knew that deep down inside. I already knew. Hadn't I been watching them, picking up those little signals? As I thought on, I realized that in fact, it didn't bother me. Why should it? I had Lily now, why shouldn't they have each other?
So why did I feel left out somehow?
I peered back in the room. They were still locked in an embrace. Would they ever stop? Should I leave for a while? No. No, I should act casual. If Sirius has taught me one thing, it's to be as cool as you can at all times.
I threw the cloak over my shoulder and pushed open the door slowly. I looked up at Sirius who was grinning widely at Remus who was blushing like hell. I cleared my throat.
"You all right, Moony?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.
He nodded and shot a look at Sirius as if to say "watch yourself, Sirius." Sirius put on his "I'm innocent" look and raised an eyebrow at me.
"Mischief managed."
I smiled at him. Good old Sirius, you're back again. Yet it's not managed, Sirius. It never will be. I know that. You're in love with Moony, aren't you, Padfoot? I guess I always knew that. I know you, Sirius, and your mischief will never be managed. I know that, but promise, Sirius.
Promise to be my friend forever, until I die, now and always. Be my friend anyway.
I'm happy you two find comfort in each other. You'll understand someday—I'm here for you.
To that—
I solemnly swear.
FINIS